FADING: A novel

I’m pretty tired on the drive home. Leaning my head against the cold window, I close my eyes. It has been a crazy night for me, and I’m feeling a little confused about Jack but try not to think too much. I’m always thinking too much. When I feel the car start to slow, I open my eyes and roll my head to the side to face Jack.

 

It’s now raining outside, and the trickling against the car is loud. Jack and I stare at each other in silence. I have missed having the affection of a guy, so I don’t object when he leans in to kiss me. He touches the side of my face, and I wrap my hand behind his neck. His kisses are passionate and eager. I part my lips slightly, and he slides his tongue in my mouth and caresses it with mine. Grabbing my hips, he pulls me over the console and on top of him. With my legs straddled on either side of him, I can feel how turned on he is. He has both of his hands buried in my hair as he deepens our kiss. I am totally lost in him.

 

A soft moan escapes my lips, and I pull away. Suddenly, I’m thinking again as I look down at his flushed face. What am I doing? This isn’t me. I don’t act like this and especially not with guys I don’t know and hardly care for. Stop thinking, Candace. I lean down and press my lips against his and we begin getting lost in each other again. Well, that’s not true. I can’t get lost because I can’t stop thinking about how this is wrong. I’m only leading him on.

 

I manage to break our kiss and rest my forehead against his. My eyes are shut because I’m too embarrassed to look at him. As he runs his hands down my back, he whispers, “It’s okay, Candace.”

 

Pulling back, I look into his dark blue eyes. “Sorry,” I whisper back and slowly shake my head.

 

“Can I see you again?” he asks as he continues to run his hands slowly up and down my back.

 

I know I should be honest with him and say no, but my hormones answer, “Yeah.”

 

He reaches his hand behind his seat, and I wonder what he’s searching for. He grins at me as he hands me an umbrella.

 

I laugh softly, “Thanks.”

 

“Come on. I’ll walk with you.”

 

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

 

He lifts up and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. “I’ll call you, okay?”

 

“Okay,” I say as I climb off of his lap and out of the car.

 

I make my way inside the house and slip off my heels.

 

“Kim, you awake?” I whisper loudly as I walk into her room.

 

She rolls over in bed and says, “Yeah. Come here, I want all the dirty details.” She sits up and turns on the lamp that’s on her nightstand. I walk over, sit down next to her, and let out a long sigh.

 

“I think he likes me.”

 

“So, what’s the problem?”

 

I look over at her, then flop back onto the bed and stare at the ceiling, “The problem is, I’m only trying to have a little fun, but it feels wrong. There is just nothing there, yet I keep kissing him, and I’m only leading him on. He asked to see me again, and my stupid mouth said yes.”

 

Kimber lays down next to me, “So, see him one more time, and just tell him. Honestly, Candace, I think you’re being hard on yourself and making this a bigger deal than it actually is.”

 

I turn to face her. “You’re right.”

 

“I always am.” She gives me a grin, and then asks, “Did you kiss him goodbye?”

 

“More like straddled his thighs, grabbed his hair, and let him shove his tongue in my mouth,” I say, and then I burst out laughing as I cover my heated face with my hands.

 

“You little hooker!”

 

I jump off the bed, still laughing. “Good night, Kim,” I say in a singsong voice as I head to my room.

 

“Night, slut!” I hear her yell down the hall.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

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I’m working in the back, restocking supplies, when I hear Roxy shout for me from up front. I stop what I’m doing, walk to the front counter, and see Jase. I spoke to him the morning after our night out at Remedy. He ran into Mark out in the parking lot and ended up talking to him for a while and Mark decided to give Jase a second chance.

 

“Hey, Candace,” he says as he leans in to give me a peck on my lips. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

 

“Oh, sorry. I was at the studio this morning and let the battery drain on my cell, and I never remembered to plug it in to recharge,” I said. “I’ll go do that now before I forget again.” I run into the back and grab my phone and the charging cord. When I walk back up front, I plug it in by the register.

 

“So, I wanted to see if you and Kimber could get together with Mark and I later tonight?” Jase asks while he’s leaning against the counter.

 

“I’d love to, but I’m working late tonight. How about tomorrow afternoon?” I ask. “We can do a cookout at our house.”

 

“That sounds great. I really fucked up with him, and I want to make it right. Plus, I want you guys to meet him.”

 

Resting on my elbows, I look up at him and say, “Of course, Jase.”

 

“Great, I’ll call him and let him know,” he says, then leans down to kiss my forehead. I smile up at him as he turns to leave.

 

I notice my phone automatically turns on once it gets enough life in it. Picking it up, I swipe the screen to look at all my missed calls and texts. I see I have a missed text from Jack, and I tap to open it up.

 

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