Emancipating Andie

chapter THIRTEEN



“Every thing in my life that once seemed so significant suddenly felt extremely trivial. It was as if every thought, every feeling, every experience I had before this was just practice for this moment. All at once, the world around me felt real. And for the first time, so did I,” Andie typed, stopping to take a sip of her iced tea before she put the glass down and continued.

In another chapter, she would be finished with the novel.

It had been two weeks since Chase came to her apartment, two weeks since they sat on the piano bench in each other’s arms. Ever since that night, it felt like she was overflowing. It was as if her fingers couldn’t move fast enough to record all the words in her head.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there after he left that night, and she honestly couldn’t remember a single thought that went through her mind. All she knew was that one minute she was sitting immobilized on the piano bench, and the next she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, her laptop on her thighs and her fingers flying over the keys.

She wrote for three straight hours that night.

And in the days that followed, it was much of the same. It was like some undisclosed, limitless resource had been tapped; if she wasn’t at the restaurant or with Colin, she was writing.

The only thing more prolific than Andie’s composing was her desire to talk to Chase. So often she found herself wanting to call him, to tell him, to thank him, just to hear his voice again. But for all of the times that desire consumed her, she only allowed herself to contact him once. It was the night she realized that she was only a few chapters away from finishing the book, and she had sent him a text, asking him if he would read it once it was completed.

He had answered her almost immediately, saying of course he would, that he’d be honored. And that was all the contact she’d had with him.

Andie no longer fought her thoughts of him; she embraced them as part of her daily routine, welcomed them as the obvious muse that had re-inspired her.

The door to the back room of the restaurant opened, and Andie’s mother came through with a box in her arms. A few weeks ago, Andie would have jumped to hide what she was doing, but today she kept her eyes on the screen, her fingers clicking away at the keys.

“Hi sweetheart,” her mom said, placing the box down and grabbing a box cutter from one of the drawers.

“Hey,” Andie said, smiling up at her for a second before she resumed what she was doing.

It was quiet for a moment, the only sound being the clicking of the keys, until her mother said, “Whatcha doing over there?”

Andie smiled. “I’m writing.”

“Oh yeah?” her mom said, her brow raised and her eyes focused on whatever was inside the box she had opened. “Writing what?”

“Just…a story I’ve had in my head for a while.”

Her mom looked up at her for a second and smiled. “Good for you, sweetheart. You always did have a way with words.” She reached in and pulled two jars out of the box, turning to place them on a high shelf on the other side of the room.

Andie looked up over the screen and watched her move back and forth, pulling items out from the box and stocking them on the appropriate shelves as she hummed to herself.

Her fingers stopped for a second as she thought about her mother, trying to picture her when she was young, trying to imagine what made her smile back then, what made her think, what she was afraid of, what she wished for.

She wondered if it was this.

“Hey, Mom?” Andie said, and her mother glanced over her shoulder as she stood on her toes, putting things away.

“Hmm?”

Andie paused, thinking of how she could phrase it, and finally said, “What did you want to be when you grew up?”

Her mother laughed softly, turning around and placing her hands on the small of her back, arching and twisting as she stretched. “Wow, it’s been a while since someone’s asked me that.” She straightened up, adjusting her shirt. “Well, when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a queen,” she said, and Andie laughed. “But when I realized that wasn’t going to pan out, I wanted to be an obstetrics nurse.”

“Really?” Andie said, taking her hands off the keyboard and turning to face her mom fully. “I never knew that.”

She nodded. “When I was a teenager visiting my family in Greece one summer, we were at a festival and a woman went into labor. She ended up delivering right there in the grass, next to one of the stands, and I remember thinking it was the most incredible thing I’d ever seen.” She smiled to herself. “And I just thought, wow, this would be an amazing thing to do everyday, to help bring life into the world.”

Andie watched her as she looked at the floor, the soft smile remaining on her lips before she took a breath and looked up, reaching into the box again.

“Then why didn’t you do it?” Andie asked, and her mother shrugged nonchalantly.

“Things change.”

“What changed?” Andie asked.

“Well, for one, I met your father,” she said before she turned and placed the last items on the shelf.

Andie lifted her brow. “Dad didn’t want you to be a nurse?”

“No, Dad would have supported me, of course. I guess I just wanted different things after I met him,” she said, flipping the empty box over and cutting the bottom.

Andie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she nodded slowly. Maybe a few months ago she wouldn’t have been able to understand that line of thinking, but now she knew all too well how meeting someone could change the way you looked at the world around you, or even the way you looked at yourself.

“What made you want to marry Dad?” Andie blurted out, startled by her own question.

Andie’s mother flattened the box and slid it on top of the pile of cardboard that was waiting to be recycled. “Your father is a good man,” she said.

“I know that,” Andie said, “but I mean, there are a lot of good men out there. What made you want to be with him forever?”

She stopped, looking at Andie for a second as if she were trying to read her before she walked to the table and sat down on top of it, facing her daughter.

“Your father is an intelligent, kind, and honest person. When I met him, I knew he had a good head on his shoulders, that he was responsible. That he would be a good partner, a good father, a good role model, that he could provide for a family.”

Andie stared up at her, waiting for her to continue, but she said nothing else. Her mother could see that Andie was dissatisfied with her answer, that she wanted there to be more, and she smiled softly, shaking her head.

“What have I always told you, Andromeda?” She leaned over, playfully tapping her daughter on the forehead with her finger as she said, “Na agapas me to kefali sou, kai tha eisai asfalis. Love with your head, and you’ll be safe.”

“Love with anything else, and you’re in big trouble,” Andie finished in stereo with her mother, causing her to laugh. She brushed her daughter’s hair behind her ear before she stood from the table and turned to walk back out to the restaurant.

“What about your heart?” Andie said.

Her mother stopped just as she reached the door, turning to look back at her.

“What about if you love with your heart?” Andie asked softly.

She stared at a daughter for a second before she crossed the room to her, placing her hand on the side of Andie’s face. As she looked down, she smiled softly, and Andie could have sworn there was a hint of sadness behind it. She leaned down and kissed the top of Andie’s head before she turned and walked back out to the restaurant, saying nothing.

Andie fell back in her chair, the force of her sudden epiphany hitting her like a tidal wave.

It was like the world had just righted itself in front of her eyes.

Maybe loving with her head was what worked for her mother, but Andie knew at that moment, knew with a certainty that she had never felt about anything in her life before this moment, that it wouldn’t work for her.

She did love Colin. It was never an issue of not loving him. He was a good guy, and he was kind, and predictable, and stable, and safe.

She just didn’t love him with her heart.

She didn’t burn for Colin; she didn’t melt for him. He didn’t make her want to be a better person. He didn’t challenge her, he didn’t inspire her, he didn’t make her feel like the world was at her feet, like anything was possible. Andie knew what it felt like to experience those things now, even if it was just for a moment.

She wanted to experience them again.

She sat up straight in her chair, quickly saving her work and closing down her computer.

Her hands were shaking.

She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but she felt like she needed to take some kind of action. It was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes, and now that she could see everything clearly, she didn’t want to waste anymore time.

She had to talk to Colin.

She needed to see Chase.

With trembling hands she shoved her laptop back into its case and swung it over her shoulder, walking briskly to the door and flinching suddenly as it swung open and sent her stumbling backward.

“Shit! Sorry, are you okay?” Tracey laughed, reaching out to steady her friend.

“Jesus! Why are you storming in here like a maniac?”

“I didn’t storm, I just opened the door. It’s not my fault that you were charging it like a bull from the other side. Where the hell are you going in such a hurry?”

“I just…I have to talk to Colin,” Andie said, brushing her hair out of her face and trying to sound composed.

“Are you going down there now?”

Andie looked at her watch, wondering if he’d be home, wondering if that was the best plan of action. “Um…yeah, I think so.”

“Perfect,” Tracey said. “I was coming back here to see if you could drop me off at my sister’s. I’m watching her kids tonight and there’s never a place for me to park in her development.”

“Fine,” Andie said, walking around her friend. “But we need to leave now.”

Tracey made a face before she brought her hand up to her forehead in a salute. “Sir, yes sir!” she said, following her friend to the door.

Andie laughed, rolling her eyes as she pulled the door open and walked out through the restaurant. She weaved her way around the bar area and out through the side door, not even checking to see if Tracey was behind her.

As soon as both girls were inside the car, Andie saw Tracey turn in the passenger seat to face her. “Alright, Weber. Spill it.”

“Spill it?” Andie asked as she backed out of the space.

“Seriously, what the hell is going on with you?” Tracey asked, the concern prevailing over the playfulness in her voice.

“What? Nothing. I’m fine,” Andie said, and when Tracey responded with silence, she glanced over to see her friend staring at her.

“I call bullshit.”

Andie sighed heavily; she didn’t know who she was kidding trying to evade her best friend of nearly twenty years. “Fine,” she said softly. “I just realized that I might…I mean that I do…” She shook her head, taking a breath. “I have feelings for Chase.”

“God, you suck,” Tracey laughed. “I can’t get a good guy, and here you are lining them up.”

Andie kept her eyes on the road, saying nothing.

“Wait, hold on, are you seriously considering doing something about this?” Tracey asked, the humor now gone from her voice.

She licked her lips before she nodded, her eyes straight ahead.

A stillness fell over the car, and Andie felt a tightening in her chest as she waited for Tracey’s response.

“Andie,” she finally said. “Colin is great.”

“I know,” Andie responded softly.

There was another silence before Tracey said, “I mean, do you even know this Chase guy? Does he have feelings for you too? Or does he just want you? How much thought have you put into this? It’s just that…Colin is a lot to throw away.”

Andie exhaled heavily as she dropped her head back against the seat. “I’ve thought about it, Trace. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past month.”

Tracey said nothing, but out of the corner of her eye, Andie could see her shift so that she was facing the road again.

“It’s just that I chose wrong. And I want you to be sure you’re not doing the same thing.”

“You chose wrong?” Andie asked, her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Nate.”

“But Trace,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully. “That wasn’t about you making a poor choice. Nate…” She paused, not wanting to say the words. “Nate broke up with you. You didn’t have a choice about that.”

“I cheated on him, Andie.”

She felt her eyes go wide before she whipped her head toward her friend. “You cheated on Nate?” she asked, unable to keep the shock out of her voice.

Tracey nodded.

Andie opened her mouth to respond, but no words would come. Tracey had said that Nate broke up with her because he felt they were too young to be so serious, that he wanted to experience college life.

“Why didn’t you ever—”

“I was too embarrassed to tell you,” she said quietly, cutting her off.

It was quiet for a beat before Andie said, “So…he broke up with you because he found out?”

“His roommate found out. He said that either I had to tell Nate, or he would.”

Andie fell silent, trying to make sense of everything she had just been told. Only one thought kept coming to the forefront of her mind, loud and clear; why in the hell would she have ever cheated on Nate?

“I was stupid,” Tracey said, as if she had read Andie’s mind. “Things were basically perfect with him. I know that now. But at the time, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe…I don’t know…maybe the grass was greener somewhere else. He was my first real boyfriend. The thought of only being with him…it just made me feel like, I don’t know…like maybe I was settling and not even realizing it.”

Andie took a deep breath, glancing over at her friend.

“But you know how that story ends,” Tracey said with a sad smile before she shook her head. “Nothing was ever as good as him.” She was quiet before she turned toward Andie. “I ruined everything. And I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life regretting my decision.” She looked down before she added, “Sometimes when you make a mistake, you can’t go back and fix it, you can’t undo it as much as you might want to. Are you sure this isn’t going to be one of those mistakes?”

Andie exhaled slowly, saying nothing.

Because the truth was, she wasn’t sure. She had no idea what the future held for her and Chase.

They drove on in silence, both of them clearly lost in their thoughts. Andie tried to imagine herself in Tracey’s situation; could she see herself telling this story, years from now, and referring to it as the biggest mistake of her life? Could she see herself lamenting the fact that no one who followed Colin could ever measure up?

And just as she stopped the car on the street in front of Tracey’s sister’s house, it hit her. No matter what the future held for her, there was no way she could be truly happy with Colin now. She realized she wanted more than he could give, and staying with him just because she was afraid of the unknown would be just as unfair to him as it would be to her.

Tracey turned to her. “Before you do anything, just…be sure that you’re sure,” she said as she unbuckled her seat belt. “Thanks for the ride. I love you,” she added, leaning over and kissing Andie’s cheek.

“Trace?” Andie said just as her friend was about to exit the car, and she stopped, looking over her shoulder.

“I don’t want what my parents have. I want the couple in the park.”

Tracey pulled her brow together. “You want the what?”

Andie smiled. “I gotta go,” she said as she put the car in drive, the urgency back in her voice and her movements. “I love you too. And thank you.”

Tracey looked at her friend for a moment before she smiled sadly. “Good luck,” she said before she exited the car and walked up to her sister’s front door.

Andie sped down the road, the adrenalin coursing through her as her conviction grew stronger. Colin deserved someone who loved him, who really loved him, not someone who stayed with him because it made sense.

She was doing the right thing for both of them. She knew she was.

Andie reached over and pulled her cell phone out of the cup holder in the console, holding down the speed dial for Colin. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey babe, I was just about to call you.”

“Hi,” she said, her resolve faltering a little when she heard his voice. “Um, where are you?”

“I just got home. Where are you?”

“I just dropped Tracey off at her sister’s.”

“You okay?” he asked. “You sound frazzled.”

Andie swallowed, trying to remember what made her think she could do this. “No, I’m good…I just…I wanted to come over. I need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you about something too.”

For a second, Andie’s heart dropped. Did he know? Could he possibly know? Her stomach rolled at the thought.

It shouldn’t matter. She was going to his apartment with every intention of breaking things off. But still, if he knew about what had happened between her and Chase, he would hate her. She didn’t want him to hate her. Maybe she was incredibly naïve, but she was hoping that after all was said and done, they could remain friends.

“Okay, well, I’m about ten minutes away.”

“Alright. See you in a few,” he said before he ended the call, and Andie spent the remainder of the drive to his apartment trying to analyze his tone, his words, in an attempt to prepare herself for what might be coming her way.

She approached his front door and stopped, closing her eyes and taking a long, deep breath before blowing it out slowly through her mouth.

This is the right thing to do.

And with that thought, she opened her eyes and turned the knob.

“Colin?” she called softly as she entered. The living room was dark.

“In here,” she heard him say, and she followed his voice into the kitchen.

There were candles on the table, their soft light flickering around him as he stood at the counter, still dressed in his suit from work, opening a bottle of wine. He looked up at her and smiled. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said softly, her eyes scanning the room as her heartbeat increased slightly. “What is this?” she asked after a pause, nodding toward the candles.

His smile grew wider. “We’re celebrating,” he said, handing her the glass of wine he had just poured. He lifted his own, clinking it softly to hers.

“Okay,” Andie said with a small laugh, looking down at her glass. She swirled it gently, and she was sure she looked as uneasy as she felt. “Can I ask what we’re celebrating?”

Colin took a slow sip of wine before he placed it on the counter, and Andie gently placed hers down next to his without having taken a sip. He turned toward her then, and his smile was stunning.

“I got the Davis account.”

Andie gasped. “Oh my God!” she squealed, completely losing herself in the moment as she jumped up and wrapped her arms around Colin. “I’m so proud of you!”

He tightened his arms around her, laughing softly.

She froze in his embrace, realizing how counterproductive her behavior was, but she couldn’t help her visceral reaction to the news; she was genuinely excited for him. The Davis account was huge, and Andie knew that pretty much everyone in Colin’s firm had been after it for months.

She felt him rub his hands over her back, and she chewed fretfully on her lower lip, gradually loosening her hold around his neck. It was pointless to even try to refocus her purpose for coming now; she knew there was no way she could do it tonight, not after what he had just told her. There was no way she would ever allow herself to sully this moment for him.

“Congratulations,” she said with a soft smile as she pulled away from him.

“I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet,” he said, loosening his tie with one hand as he reached for his wine with the other.

“Don’t say that,” Andie reprimanded softly. “This isn’t about luck. You worked really hard for that account.”

Colin nodded as he took another sip of wine. “I know,” he said, putting the glass down. “I just mean in general. Everything in my life is working out the way I’d hoped. I have everything I want.”

Andie swallowed, looking down as her stomach rolled uneasily.

“Well, almost everything,” she heard him say as he bent down to pick something up off the floor. When a few seconds passed and he hadn’t stood back up, she lifted her eyes to look at him, and her breath stopped her throat.

He was kneeling before her.

The glass of wine slipped from her hands, shattering on the floor in front of him.

“Oh God,” Andie sputtered, leaning over and reaching frantically for the paper towels.

His hand came up, gripping her wrist and stilling her movements. “Leave it,” he said softly, and she stopped, taking a trembling breath before she forced herself to look down at him.

She felt as if she might be sick, and she swallowed convulsively, unable to remove her eyes from the box in his hand, the diamond inside glittering delicately with refracted candlelight.

“When I got this account today, all I wanted to do was come home and share it with you. And I know that’s all I’m ever going to want.” He reached forward, taking her left hand gently. “Any experience I have, good or bad…I want it to be with you.” He looked up at her from under his lashes. “Marry me, Andie.”

In the split second that the words left his mouth, all the possible scenarios ran through her mind.

She could accept. She thought of her mother, choosing to marry a man because he was kind and intelligent and responsible, one who would make a good partner, a good father. It had all turned out well for her, hadn’t it? Would it really be so awful if Andie made the same choice?

She could say yes now, so as not to ruin the moment, and then tell him the truth about her feelings after things settled down. She could find a reason to break off the engagement once she had time to think it through.

She closed her eyes, swallowing forcefully again, because she already knew she wouldn’t do either of those things. There was no way she could agree to marry him knowing she wasn’t in love with him, and she didn’t have it in her to say yes only to call it off down the road. In their own way, both options were equally as cruel.

She found herself struggling to take a breath as her heart plummeted.

He was kneeling before her, offering her a future.

And in doing so, he was leaving her no choice.

“Colin,” she said, and her voice sounded far away, like it didn’t belong to her. “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled up at her, and she felt the stinging begin behind her eyes.

“I just,” she said, her voice barely a whisper, “I’m sorry…I can’t.”

His smile slowly faded, his eyes on hers, and he shifted his weight slightly, remaining on one knee. “I know it seems fast, Andie,” he said, his voice soft with persuasion, “but we love each other. What more is there?”

Andie dropped her eyes to the broken glass on the floor, shimmering with candlelight like the diamond in Colin’s hand.

“We could live together first,” he offered. “We don’t have to get married right away. Our engagement can be as long as you want it to be.”

A heavy silence descended over them, and Andie felt as though she might suffocate under the weight of it. She inhaled a quivering breath and lifted her eyes just in time to see Colin’s expression change; she watched the hope drain from his eyes like tears, and she had to look away again as her own began to well.

“Do you mean you can’t marry me now? Or you can’t marry me ever?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

She felt the tears rush down her cheeks before she looked back at him, his image immediately blurring as her eyes brimmed over once again. “I’m so sorry,” was all she could manage.

Colin looked down, his brow pulled together as he shook his head slightly. After a stunned second, he slowly raised his eyes back to Andie. “Is there someone else?”

Andie exhaled.

“No,” she said weakly.

“Well then, what is it?” he asked, his voice taking on a desperate quality as he stood and placed the ring box on the counter. “I mean, what’s happening here?”

“I…I just…” She trailed off, covering her face with both hands as she shook her head. This was not how she wanted to do this. She wanted to sit down with him, talk it out, try to show him how this was the best decision for both of them. She didn’t want to just blurt it out because she felt cornered.

How could she break his heart as he stood before her, offering her a lifetime with him?

“You just what?” Colin asked, his voice hollow.

She kept her hands over her face, the tears running hot and fast down her cheeks.

“You just what?” Colin repeated, a hint of anger creeping into his tone.

She opened her mouth, even though her mind hadn’t formulated a response, and she felt him grip her wrists and pull her hands away from her face.

“Jesus Christ, Andie, just say it,” he said, his voice full of frustration and his eyes full of hurt. “I deserve that much.”

Andie stood there, her wrists in his hands and the tears dripping off her chin. “I care about you. So much,” she said, her breath hitching between the words.

He stared at her face, his eyes searching hers, desperately needing his answer, and suddenly she felt something click inside her, leaving in its wake an eerie detachment, removing her from the moment long enough to say the words.

“But…I’m not in love with you.”

He stared at her for a second before he released her wrists, turning away and gripping the edge of the counter as he dropped his head.

Instinctively, she reached out to comfort him, but before she made contact, he leaned forward and grabbed the ring box with an abruptness that caused Andie to flinch.

She stood motionless, her hand still outstretched toward him, a combination of helplessness and contrition washing over her. Her eyes dropped to his hand, cradling the box that only moments ago held his future, and with a quick curl of his fingers, he snapped it closed, the sharp sound of it echoing through the apartment.

The door closing on them for good.

“Leave.”

Andie exhaled softly, finally dropping her outstretched hand. “Colin—”

“Leave.”

He turned from the counter so that his back was to her, his fist clenched around the ring box.

Her eyes brimmed over again as she whispered, “Can I just—”

“Get the f*ck out of my apartment, Andie,” he said with a cold formality that caused a sharp pang in her chest.

She deserved it. She knew she did.

Her breath hitched again as she backed away from him, the broken glass crunching beneath her feet.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered before she turned and stumbled out of the kitchen. She felt clumsy and inept, almost like she was running underwater as she approached his door, and as soon as she was outside, her hand flew to her mouth as the first sob ripped from her throat with startling force. She staggered away from his apartment and back to her car, earning several stares from people passing by.

One teenage boy actually stopped, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Are you…are you okay?” he asked uneasily.

Andie nodded, trying to force a smile but turning away from him as another sob broke from her lips.

She finally reached her car and poured herself inside; she had no business driving in her current state, but she turned the key in the ignition anyway.

Andie wove through the darkened streets, one hand on the wheel and the other swiping at the inexorable tears. In her mind, she knew that she should go home now. But everything in her body screamed for Chase.

She just needed to see him.

Andie realized she should probably wait to talk to him. She needed to calm down and gather her thoughts. After screwing things up so badly with Colin, she wanted to make sure she at least did this part right.

And yet five minutes later, she was on the highway that would lead her to him.

She had never been to his apartment before; she only knew about it from their discussions on the way to Florida, and she hoped that through the darkness and her incoherency, she could figure out which one it was.

When she finally pulled onto the street she knew was his, she parked the car, squinting out the windshield and trying to make out the numbers on the buildings through her bleary vision. It wasn’t the best neighborhood, and she didn’t want to wander around it in the dark, especially in her current state. Her eyes were burning, and she could already feel how swollen they were.

She exited the car quickly and sprinted up the steps of the building she hoped was his, glancing quickly at the buzzer; the word McGuire was scrawled next to 3B.

With renewed urgency she ran inside and up the stairs, slowing down as she approached the door. Her hand trembled as she knocked softly. It was a minute before she heard the sounds of someone on the other side of it, and as the door swung open, her eyes filled with tears again.

Only this time, there was relief behind them.

He was shirtless, the flannel pajama pants he was wearing riding low on his body, revealing the muscled V of his hips. His hair was a rumpled mess and his eyes were squinted with sleep.

“Hi,” Andie whispered softly, her chin trembling.

His eyes widened in alarm. “Jesus Christ, what happened to you? Are you okay?” He stepped forward quickly, reaching for her.

“Colin asked me to marry him.”

He froze before bringing his arms back to his sides. There was the tiniest flicker of something behind his eyes, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by a polite smile.

“Congratulations.”

“I said no,” she whispered.

She watched his smile drop, and she blinked up at him, a fresh round of tears spilling from her eyes as she waited for him to say something.

His expression was unreadable.

“I said no, Chase,” she repeated.

He closed his eyes before he exhaled heavily, dropping his head as he ran his hand through his hair. “That’s not what…” He trailed off, fumbling for words. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Chase,” Andie said, shaking her head. She would not let him take the blame for this. She had made this decision. He may have opened her eyes to certain things, but Chase or no Chase, she and Colin would never have worked.

Andie took a step toward him, and he stepped back abruptly.

She stilled, her stomach twisting unpleasantly at his reaction.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to hers. “Andie,” he said, his voice soft but resolute, “you should have said yes.”

All the breath left her body as she looked up at him, her heart sinking as she took in his smooth expression. The fire in his eyes, the longing she had nearly drowned in that night at the piano, was nowhere to be found.

“You should have said yes,” he repeated softly as he took another tiny step back.

She felt the heat flood her cheeks as humiliation settled around her like a fog, preventing any logical reaction or thought, any rational response.

Instead she turned, attempting to maintain some semblance of dignity as she walked quickly toward the staircase that would bring her back down to street level.

He didn’t try to stop her.

She exited the building, her breath coming in shallow little bursts as her legs trembled, struggling with the task of supporting her.

To her surprise, her eyes remained dry as she slid into the driver’s seat, and even as she pulled swiftly out of the parking space. It wasn’t until she sped onto the highway that would take her home that she felt the familiar stinging behind her lids, and for a second, she wondered if it was possible to run out of tears.

She wished that it was.

How could she have gotten this so wrong? How could she have misread him? Images of Chase ran on a loop through her mind, a slideshow of her indiscretions: the hotel room in South Carolina, the lake, Tybee Island, the dance floor, the night she locked herself out.

The piano.

Was it possible she had misinterpreted all of it? Or had he just changed his mind?

Andie swallowed hard, shaking her head. It didn’t matter. As awful as she felt now, she knew what she had done tonight was for the best. Somewhere behind the dull ache in her chest was a tiny ember of reassurance.

She’d never be Tracey, looking back on this night with regret.

She’d never be her mother, marrying for stability instead of love.

And she’d never be sorry that she fell for Chase, even if he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. She looked at the world around her through different eyes now because of him. He had given her confidence; he had shown her how to find humor and comfort in the things she feared; he had proven to her that a person could take his suffering and use it to become a better person; he had reminded her that the world was full of possibilities. Even if they had no future together, she’d never lament the experiences she had with him.

And if it weren’t for Chase, maybe she would have ended up with Colin, and she would have never been genuinely happy.

Colin deserved a girl who was head over heels for him, and Andie deserved to love someone with her entire being, her heart, mind, and body. And now they were both free to find exactly that.

This was all for the best, she told herself repeatedly.

And she wondered how long it would take before she believed it.