A Shot in the Dark

Chapter Seven




Mavericks was packed tighter than Paige ever remembered seeing. The throng of people pulsed with the beat of the music, writhing and grinding together on the dance floor. There was a never-ending parade of people to the various stations Josh had set up around the main room. Spanking benches, leather cuffs hanging from chains along the wall, the St. Andrew’s Cross, all were being used.

Paige would have preferred to be flogged.

Her call to Rick’s cell phone had been the most nerve-racking one of her life, made all the worse by his calm, almost smug reaction. He’d agreed too easily to her suggestion to meet at the club, and the idea of needing to dress the part knowing he’d be here to see her had her skin crawling.

Carter had wanted to come with her when she’d suggested the meeting a few days ago, but she’d said no.

“I need to do this on my own if he’s ever going to listen to me.”

She could tell by his expression he was less than pleased.

“Paige, you don’t know what he’ll do once he gets you alone.”

“Then I won’t let him get me alone.” She took his hand and squeezed his fingers hard. “I don’t know where we’re going yet, but if I don’t work this out, I know I’ll always have this lingering doubt about our relationship. Let me handle Rick.”

“I don’t like this.”

Carter’s intentions were pure, but she needed to do this her way. It was the reason she’d arranged to meet Rick on a night Carter was working at the station. The well-meaning bastard would try and show up otherwise.


Josh kept circling around her table but made no move to approach her. He probably assumed she was meeting Carter and for once wasn’t going to interfere. Lucky her.

Paige swallowed down the last of her rye and ginger, scanning the crowd once more for Rick. It was typical, him keeping her waiting like this. It had always made her feel uncomfortable, doubting both the information he’d given her and her own resolve to stay for him. She’d never dared get up and leave when they were in a relationship—tonight she was tempted to see what would happen.

At ten minutes to midnight, she finally caught sight of Rick pushing his way through the crowd toward her. Smoothing her hands down across her leather-clad thighs, Paige sat up straight.

“You’re late,” she said as soon as he reached the side of the table.

“I was busy.” He didn’t sit down, instead crossed his arms and looked down at her. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

“No.” There was no way she’d fall for that. “We do this here or we don’t do it at all.”

Rick stared for several long seconds before grinning. “I see you’ve grown a backbone over the years.”

“I’ve learned what my rights are and where the line is. Something I don’t think you’ve figured out yet.”

Rick fell into the seat beside her and propped his feet up on the table. “Bitchy little Paige. Your bark was always stronger than your bite.” He licked his lips as his gaze roamed over her body. “You wanted to talk. I’m here to talk.”

Still, after all this time, it was a challenge to meet his gaze directly and speak. The years had been kind to him, his good looks now being augmented by the slightly graying hair at his temples. He was every bit as cool and confident as he’d been when they’d first met.

Taking a breath, Paige steadied herself. “I know you’ve come back to town to work. I know you are aware that I came here last week and I met someone.”

“I heard he took you upstairs too. How did that work out for you, little girl? Did he press all your buttons the way that you liked? Did you keep comparing him to me?”

The memory of Carter, his face buried between her legs, making her scream, only to refuse to f*ck her because he wanted to get to know her, sprang to mind. “I can honestly say I didn’t think of you once after I got up there.”

Rick dropped his feet to the floor with a thud and leaned into her. “You were mine for two years. I know you better than you know yourself. Better than some jackass who followed you home one night and spanked your ass. He did spank you, didn’t he, Paige? You always liked that.”

“What we did is none of your goddamn business. That’s why I wanted to meet you here tonight. We were through the night you punched me. I will never get back with you. You have nothing to offer me. I originally stopped coming here because I didn’t want any reminders of you. But no more.”

Pushing away from him, Paige rose to her feet. “You don’t scare me, Rick. I don’t need you to be happy. You don’t make me unhappy either. You’re no longer a blip in my life that impacts me one way or the other. I’ve moved on and I suggest you do too.”

She tried to step away only to have Rick grab her arm.

“We’re not done talking.”

“Yes, we are. I plan to continue coming here to play and spend time with my friends. If I’m lucky, I’ll be here with someone who I hope will become serious about me. But even if that doesn’t happen, he’s helped me realize that I’m not going to let you have control over my life anymore. Goodbye, Rick. I hope you have a happy life, but stay the hell out of mine.”

Jerking her arm free, Paige managed to keep the smile from her face as she walked past him toward the door. She’d nearly escaped when Josh caught her.

“Everything okay?” He nodded toward Rick. “I’d be more than happy to throw his ass out if he’s giving you a hard time.”

Paige knew she should have done this ages ago, but admitting the truth was far harder than she ever thought possible. “Remember when I stopped coming?”

Josh nodded.

“Rick punched me in the back of the head. I went to the hospital, but there was no permanent damage. I left him shortly after that.”

Josh closed his eyes and for a split second, Paige knew he would kill Rick if she gave her blessing. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Before I didn’t realize he was crossing a line. When he went too far, I was embarrassed. I should have known it wasn’t normal, some of the things he was doing to me, but I was too new to the scene and he kept me pretty isolated when it came to talking to other people. I figured it was me, that I had the problem.”

“You won’t have to worry about him bothering you at Mavericks again. His membership will be revoked tonight and his money returned. If he did that to you, chances are he’ll do it to someone else.”

Paige knew she shouldn’t feel thankful, but she did. “I’m going to head home and call Carter. I know he’ll be fuming when he finds out I did this alone.”

“I think he would surprise you. Carter cares about you and doesn’t want to see you get hurt. He won’t care that you did things on your own, only that you’re safe. Which you are.” Josh glanced behind her, but Paige didn’t want to turn and see. Chances were he was glaring at Rick, and he was the last person she wanted to see.

“I’m going to catch a cab. I’m sure we’ll see you next week.”

“Let me get it for—”

“Josh, I’m fine. It’s a cab out front.” She rolled her eyes for good measure. “I’m not going to be walking anywhere far dressed like this.”

“Only if you’re sure?”

“I am. Thanks.”

The early autumn air had turned cool, making her shiver as she waited for a cab. It wouldn’t be long before one would eventually show. The laughter from people going in and out of the club brought a smile to her face. Finally, after a long time sleepwalking, she was awake and feeling more like herself.

Thoughts of what she and Carter could do together, everything from scenes they could act out, to things she’d like to do with him around the city, filled her head. He had a slightly evil streak too. The other morning he’d threatened to slip in her bullet vibrator with the wireless remote and tease her with it all day long.

The scary thing was she was hoping he would do it.

A cab turned the corner and started toward her when a hand fell heavily on her shoulder. Rick pulled her a step away from the curb and into the shadow of the building.

“What the f*ck, Rick? Let me go.”

“I wasn’t done talking to you.” Pressing her to the brick wall, Rick kept his grip tight on her shoulder, cutting off her leverage.

“What you don’t seem to understand is that I’m done with you. You can’t control my life and there’s no way you’re getting back into it. Now let me go or else you’re going to learn the hard way that I’m not someone you can screw around with anymore.”

Paige was shaking, but it wasn’t from fear. Anger had her focus narrowed down to Rick, her body growing numb as she tried to get herself under control. Something must have shown on her face because in the next moment, Rick was pulling back from her, frowning.

“What the hell has gotten into you?”


“I’ve grown up and figured out more than a few things about my life.” She pushed his hand away and this time he didn’t stop her. “I’m not the f*cked-up girl who was dealing with her mom’s death and a dad who didn’t want much to do with his kids. I figured if I hurt enough on the outside, then the inside wouldn’t matter. But I clued in that what you were doing to me and what I was doing to myself wasn’t helping.”

“You needed it. Everything I did to you.”

Paige pushed his shoulder. “No, jackass. I get aroused by someone else being in control. For those moments I get to set the rules, but someone else is taking care of me for a change. It wasn’t about the pain. Not the way you thought it was.” She pushed him again and this time he stepped away. “And it certainly didn’t give you the right to punch me in the head!”

Rick shook his head but didn’t say anything else. Relief washed through her when she realized he wasn’t going to do anything. Taking a breath, she stepped past him out into the streetlight once more.

“I’m going home. I’m tired. You are not invited. You’re not invited back to the club or my life, in fact, anyplace near me. There is no us. There won’t be an us again. Please, for once listen to me and leave me alone.”

Paige would never be certain if Rick would have agreed with her or not. Before the words barely had a chance to leave her mouth, a shout from behind her had them both spinning.

“Hey!”

The expression of rage on Carter’s face was terrifying. He was dressed in an old gray T-shirt and his uniform pants. The loud echo of his boot-clad feet on the sidewalk sent Paige into a panic.

“Carter?” Shit, shit, shit.

“Is that your new f*cking boyfriend? Yeah, sure you’ve changed, Paige.”

“He was supposed to be working tonight.”

Carter reached for her and pulled Paige to his side before she could stop him. “Did he touch you? If you’ve laid as much as a finger on her—”

“Carter, I’m fine—”

Rick jerked Paige out of Carter’s grasp and shoved her aside. “And who the f*ck are you to tell me what I can and can’t do? We were having a conversation before you showed up to play a*shole.”

“Boys, stop it—”

“Conversation? It looked like she was trying to get away from you, and you weren’t taking no for an answer. Big man picking on a lady. Does that turn you on, a*shole?”

“Carter!”

He jerked his head around to start at her. “What?”

“I’m fine. I want to go home.”

Every emotion running through her was bound to be on her face. Dammit, this was the reason she’d done this on a night he’d been working. The confrontation wasn’t worth the payoff. Rick would never back down from something like this. Doing her best to silently beg him, Paige held her breath and hoped Carter understood.

Please walk away.

Carter ran a hand across the back of his neck. “I don’t like him giving you a hard time.”

“He’s not and he won’t be coming around here anymore. Will you?”

Rick stared at her before letting his gaze shift to Carter. “She’s not worth my f*cking time.”

All the tension from the past three years lifted. “Good. Now, Carter, since you no longer appear to be working, please take me—”

“The little cunt is all used up now anyway.”

The next few seconds slowed down to next to nothing. Carter stepped around her, without touching her coat, to slip between her and Rick. He grabbed Rick by the collar of his shirt and pulled back his fist before letting it fly into Rick’s face. She could only watch helplessly as Rick crashed to the ground in a heap. He rolled on the ground, moaning and clutching his chin.

Time came rushing back, along with her ability to think. “What the hell, Carter!”

Within a matter of seconds, the bouncers from Mavericks were out on the street with them, bringing Josh not far behind. He scooped Paige and Carter up in his arms and directed them away from the mess that was Rick.

“I suggest the two of you go for a walk. I’ll clean this up.”

Carter jerked out of his grasp. “I don’t need you doing anything, Josh. I’ll take care of this a*shole once and for all.”

“Carter, get yourself under control,” Josh said, keeping his distance. “Go for a walk and cool down. I don’t want to see you back here tonight.”

Paige left the two men behind her and made her way toward the coffee shop.

“Paige!”

“I don’t believe you.” Paige increased her pace. Who the hell did he think he was, punching Rick and generally stepping in where he wasn’t invited? She hadn’t asked him to do anything—shit, she wasn’t sure Carter was even the man she wanted to date, let alone have him running around defending her honor.

“Paige!”

She stopped dead and spun around to face him, not caring who else was around to witness their impending fight. “What?”

“Will you talk to me?” His face was strangely shadowed in the dim overhead light from the street lamp. “Are you hurt? Did he do anything?”

“You think it would have been too much trouble for you to have asked that before you knocked him unconscious?”

“He called you a cunt. What the hell did you expect me to do?”

“Maybe trust that I had things under control and was dealing with him in my own way.”

“You tell me he punched you in the back of the head and put you in the hospital, and you want me to trust him enough to be around you alone? Everything else aside, does that sound even remotely reasonable to you?”

“Of course it doesn’t sound reasonable. If it was Sadie or Ian doing something like that I would have kicked their asses.” Paige turned and continued her trek to the shop, acutely aware of Carter’s presence half a step behind her. “But I also know myself. It may have taken me a few years to figure it out, but I have. If I hadn’t done that on my own, I would never feel like I was free from him.”

Carter’s hand on her shoulder had her slowing down until she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, her gaze locked on the store ahead of her.

“Paige, I’m not him.”

The seemingly out-from-left-field statement made complete and utter sense to her. “I can’t know that. Rick wasn’t like that when I first met him either. You’re…you do things that make me question myself. Sure it feels amazing at the time, but I could easily find myself going too far and getting hurt again. If I hadn’t dealt with Rick once and for all, how could I trust myself to deal with…?” She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling guilty.

“How could you deal with me?” Carter’s hand disappeared. “I guess you’re right. How could you ever trust yourself with a man who wants to push you to your limits and help you get over them? How could you let yourself go and be happy when you’re always second-guessing the other person’s motivations?”

“Carter, I—” She turned to face him, but he was already backing away from her.

“It’s fine, Paige. I guess we did things a bit on the fast side. I’m glad you’ve worked things out in your head and dealt with Rick.”

“Where are you going?”

“Back to work.”

Panic ripped through her, turning her stomach sick. “Look, we can talk this—”


“I don’t think so. Sorry.”

Carter walked away almost as fast as he’d arrived. Paige couldn’t move, stuck fast, watching his retreating back. It wasn’t until he turned the corner out of sight that the tears threatened to spill. The last few feet to the shop were painful to walk.

She was about to open the door when Blue Eyes came flying out. They bumped into each other, equally anguished expressions on their faces.

“Sorry,” he said in a voice that had none of its normal spark. “Wasn’t looking.”

Paige smiled weakly. “Neither was I. You okay?”

“Not really. But then again, that would be par these days. Take care of yourself.”

“Wait.” She caught his arm as he tried to step around her. “That sounds like you’re not coming back.”

“I won’t be.” His gaze drifted over her to the store window. “You have a good night.”

And with that he was gone.

Paige entered the store to see Ian frantically cleaning the espresso machine. “I just saw Blue Eyes leave. What the hell happened? He looked upset.”

“He’s married. To a woman.”

“What?” Would this night never end?

“Well, they’re separated actually. The divorce is almost finalized.” Ian jerked the drip tray out of the bottom, sloshing old coffee over the side as he threw it in the sink. “That’s not the issue. A woman!”

“Ian, stop cleaning and look at me.”

His shoulders slumped forward as he dropped his chin to his chest. “I don’t know how I read him wrong.”

Paige flipped the lock on the door, turned over the Open sign to Closed and marched toward the back. “I have booze in the office. Come on.”

“We can’t close up, we still have another hour.”

“Booze. Now.”

She knew he wouldn’t be far behind her and quickly grabbed a few coffee mugs before heading back. It had been a long time since the two of them simply talked, and tonight seemed like the best night for it.

“I take it things didn’t go well at Mavericks tonight?” Ian leaned against the doorframe as she filled the two mugs halfway with the rye. “And I’m not drinking that shit straight.”

“Then get some ginger ale and come sit down.”

Ian snorted and pulled a can out of his apron. “I come prepared. Fill mine higher, will ya.”

They sat in silence as they nursed their drinks. Paige couldn’t get the image of Carter’s pained expression out of her mind. All she’d wanted to do was prove to herself that she wasn’t weak for wanting the things she did. That she could handle herself if she let herself go back into the lifestyle. There was nothing wrong with that. Was there?

“So,” she said with a frown. “A woman?”

Ian groaned, letting his head fall into his hands, sending his drink sloshing close to the top of his mug. “She called while he was here. They had some sort of fight, I don’t remember what about, and he ended up hanging up on her. In the eight months that he’s been coming here to…to get coffee, I never once suspected he wasn’t gay. Straight men don’t flirt with me.”

“Just because he was married doesn’t mean he’s not interested in men.”

Ian downed the contents of his mug in several long swallows and stood up. “I refuse to be some sort of experiment for a straight guy with a broken heart. F*ck him. F*ck…” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “Shit, I never did learn his name.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think I screwed things up with Carter tonight.”

“Jesus, Paige. What happened?”

Getting sympathy from Ian was a bizarre twist in Paige’s life, one she wasn’t sure she knew how to feel about. She finished half her drink, adding to the alcohol already in her system and making her buzz pick up strength.

“How much do you know about what I did with Rick?”

“As little as possible. I know you’re a…you like…” He waved his hand. “Yeah, don’t make me say it, okay?”

“I swear to God you stopped maturing at twelve.”

“Sadie says the same thing.” He smiled softly, almost like his old self. “What happened with Carter that makes you think you screwed things up?”

“I went and talked to Rick tonight when I knew Carter was working.”

“You did what? After what that a*shole did to you?”

She knew she’d regret telling Ian the truth. “Will you relax? I met him where there were lots of people around. I told him there was no chance of us ever getting back together and if he was smart, he would cut his losses and run.”

Ian pulled his chair up beside hers and sat down once more. “Well, that’s positive.”

“Except Carter showed up when Rick had me up against the wall outside. I had the situation under control but then Rick called me a cunt and things went downhill from there.”

“Bastard’s lucky I wasn’t there. I would have clocked him.”

Paige could feel the blush heat her face. “Carter did.”

“Good for him.”

“Then I ran away. He caught up to me but I bitched him out for interfering.”

“Brilliant, Paige.”

She punched him on the shoulder. “You don’t get it. I had to do it by myself.”

“I do get it, but that doesn’t mean Carter did the wrong thing. Did he tell you why he showed up tonight? I thought he was working?”

Ignoring the creeping feeling of dread, Paige shook her head. “I never gave him a chance to say.”

Ian sighed. “You do seem to enjoy making it hard for anyone to get close to you.”

“It’s not…I’m not like that.”

“Bullshit. You like to play at having this hard shell, but you’re too scared to let anyone see that you’re as human as the rest of us.”

“I’m not scared.” But she was and for once, Paige wasn’t going to be able to hide this from Ian. “It’s…I don’t think I can trust myself anymore. I screwed up bad with Rick. I should have been able to see the kind of jerk he was and done something earlier. What if…I mean, what if Carter is exactly like him? I don’t think I could handle it if he tried to…”

Ian slipped to his knees in front of her and rested a hand on either of her thighs. “Paige, look at me.”

She tried, but when she realized she was crying she shook her head.

“Please?”

It struck Paige as odd every time Ian came across as the man he’d become and not her annoying little brother.

He smiled at her and gave her legs a squeeze. “You’re one of the strongest people in my life. And even though I know I don’t show it sometimes, I trust your judgment on more things than I’d ever admit to. You’re the most stubbornly logical person I know.”

She smiled, wiping away her tears. “Thanks.”

“Did you ever once feel Carter was a threat? That he would do something that you wouldn’t like, or wouldn’t stop if you’d asked him to?”

“No.” Even when they were together for the first time at Mavericks, she’d never once experienced the pain or fear like she had when she’d been with Rick.

“And you’ve already proven that you know how to handle yourself if things get bad, right?”

“It’s not that easy.”

Ian sighed. “I know it’s not. But then again, sometimes it is. Sometimes we need to take the chance and put ourselves back out there to see what will happen. If it means anything, the last few weeks that you’ve been around Carter, you’ve been the happiest I remember seeing you in a long time.”


Paige hated the feeling of dread coiled up in her stomach. “I thought I was.”

“You were.”

Shit. “I doubt he’ll want to talk to me again after tonight.”

“Women.” Ian got to his feet and kissed the top of her head. “Go to bed and think this over. Then first thing tomorrow morning, go down to the station and find him before he goes home. Talk to him. I think you’ll be surprised.”

Could she do that? Put herself out there and lay herself bare to Carter like that? With her luck, he’d turn and run the other way the second he laid eyes on her.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Excellent.” Ian grabbed the bottle of rye and tucked it under his arm. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going upstairs to my humble abode and get shit-faced. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ian!”

He poked his head back into the office. “What?”

“For what it’s worth, I got the impression Blue Eyes really likes you.”

“Thanks.” Ian’s smile seemed painful. “But sometimes that isn’t enough.”