Jenna agrees and we say our good-byes, the two of them waving as they head off toward the parking lot, leaving me to make the five-mile walk home by myself. I don’t mind being alone, though. It gives me some time to clear my head.
My thoughts drift back over the day’s events, feeling pretty content with the way it played out. Well, outside of Seth freaking out on me. I can’t stop stressing about what I could have possibly done wrong.
***
Before I go out with Ari and Jenna, I decide to pick up takeout because I’m tired of pizza. I call in my order before beginning the short walk to the restaurant, zipping up my jacket and pulling my hood over my head when the chilly evening air hits me. Staring up at the full moon, I think about what an awesome picture it would be and curse myself for not bringing my camera.
I’m almost to the restaurant when my phone rings. Fishing it out from my pocket, I smile when I see Jenna’s name flash across the screen.
“What’s up?” I answer, putting the phone up to my ear.
“Nothing,” she says cheerfully. “We were just getting ready to head to your place, but then I realized I don’t have your address.”
“I’m actually walking right now to pick up some takeout.”
“From which restaurant? We’ll just meet you there.”
“I think it’s called the Moonlight Diner.” I glance up at the street sign as I approach the corner. “It’s on Cherry and Peach.”
“That sounds like the name of a slushy,” she remarks. “Oh! We should totally stop at the Snow Cone Palace on our way downtown.”
I hear Ari holler something about being tired of snow cones and Jenna yells, “You can never get tired of snow cones.” There’s a pause and then she says, “Wait at the restaurant for us. We’ll be there in ten.”
“Okay. See you in a few.” I hang up and pick up the pace, noting how much better I feel than I did just a few moments ago.
I don’t know why I was so worried about making friends. I’m doing okay, at least with Ari and Jenna.
As I turn into the parking lot of the Moonlight Diner, though, I’m reminded that not all my friendly endeavors were a success.
Standing near the entrance doors below the neon signs and twinkling lights is Seth. He’s near the ashtrays, smoking a cigarette and talking to a guy with short brown hair that I think is in my Biology class.
Seth is talking animatedly, his hands flailing through the air as he speaks. “I know. It’s so crazy, right…” He trails off when he spots me.
Even though it’s pretty dark, I can see him stiffen. He seems so uneasy about the prospect of talking to me that I consider letting him off the hook, but I’m fucking hungry and I’m not about to walk away from my dinner.
I cross the parking lot, stuffing my hands into my back pockets as I reach the two of them. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Oh, hey,” Seth replies tensely. He glances at the guy then scratches his head and takes a drag of his cigarette. “What are you doing here?”
I point at the diner sign. “Getting takeout.”
“Oh, right.” He laughs nervously. “I almost forgot we were at a restaurant.”
I don’t know him very well, but his behavior seems strange and twitchy. Again, I wonder if I misread his signals earlier today when I thought he might be into me. But we held hands for so damn long and I know I saw him checking me out a time or two. Maybe he’s nervous because he’s still trying to find himself? Or perhaps he’s on a date with this guy? I don’t think the latter is the case, though. I’m not really picking up on a date vibe between them.
When a girl wearing a tight red dress comes strolling out of the restaurant, the guy Seth’s with practically breaks his neck to check her out, cementing the fact that it’s definitely not a date. So what’s Seth’s deal, then? Why go from friendly to standoffish in a snap of a finger?
When Seth notices me glancing back and forth between him and the guy, he lets out another nervous laugh. “Oh, yeah, introductions right?” He motions at the guy. “Luke, this is Greyson. Greyson, Luke.”
I give Luke a small wave. “Yeah, I think we have bio together.”
He nods, still somewhat distracted by the girl in the red dress. “It’s nice to meet you, man.”
An awkward silence settles between us, and I decide it’s time to get my food before Jenna and Ari get here. I start for the door at the same time Seth steps for it and we slam into each other. I grab onto his arms as I start to stumble back and our gazes lock. His gaze drops to my lips and his fingers dig into my arms. A heartbeat goes by before he shuffles away from me, but it’s enough time for me to see the want in his eyes beneath the overwhelming fear.
I realize Seth’s afraid to be seen with me. While I was lucky to be born into an accepting family and never had too much of a problem openly being myself, I understand everyone isn’t that lucky. Sadly, I’m guessing Seth is one of the unlucky ones.
I wish I could do something to help him. Hug him or something, tell him it’s okay, that whatever happened to him is going to be fine. But unlike my mother, I don’t believe I can see the future.
As I walk into the restaurant, I decide I’m going to make an effort to get to know him. If for nothing else than to be his friend.
Chapter 4
Seth
I hate how flustered and confused I feel after watching Greyson walk away from me. Part of me wants to apologize for my ridiculous behavior, but part of me is relieved. Luke doesn’t seem like a judgmental person, but I can’t seem to help my reaction. The same thing happened when we were holding hands in class earlier today and a football player took a seat in front of me, sending me straight into a flashback.
I know not every guy is Braiden, but I still find myself drowning in memories of my ex, the star quarterback at my high school and one hundred percent gorgeous. I never thought he’d be interested in me, but during a project we got paired up on, we ended up making out in my room. One hot and heavy make out session led to secret weekend hookups. Deep down, I think I always knew things would end badly. Braiden wasn’t openly gay and refused to see me outside the four walls of my garage. What I didn’t expect was our relationship to end in such an ugly and brutal way.
I flinch at the memory and head back to the booth with Luke to join Callie and Kayden, who are engulfed in an intense conversation. While I’m curious about what they’re discussing, my thoughts are still caught up in Greyson and the look on his face when he walked away.
He saw the fear inside me, the fa?ade I put on that I’m always okay, always happy, all smiles, sunshine, and freakin’ bedazzled unicorns.
On our way out of the restaurant, I contemplate talking to Callie about Greyson, but she’s still pretty frustrated with me over inviting Kayden and Luke to dinner.
“I’m so going to get you back for this,” she hisses under her breath as we head to the car.
“Why?” I whisper innocently. “I thought it went pretty well.”
“It did, except for…” She bites her lip and looks down at her hands.
“Except for what?”
“Except for when you left, Kayden tried to thank me and then he touched my hand.” She wrings her hands in front of her with her head tipped down. “I freaked out and he probably thinks I’m even more of a weirdo then he did before.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I sneak a peek at Kayden. His attention is focused solely on Callie, the worried look on his face proof of exactly how concerned he is about her.
“I really don’t think that’s what he’s thinking,” I tell her in a low voice.
She peers up at me. “Why not?”
Sliding my arm around her, I shoot her a grin rather than answer her question, realizing she’s not ready to hear my predictions regarding the Callie/Kayden debacle. Sometimes you can just tell people belong together. Sometimes you just know.
Knowing is the easiest part. It’s accepting and opening up that’s complicated.