Not a fucking chance.
My weary body and mind had already been dragged half way across the damn country. I’d left a lot of stuff behind in boxes with a message for Ev to please have it forwarded. All that mattered was getting the hell out of his house in one reasonable rational piece.
Pam drove me to the airport despite my protestations I could get a cab. Such a lovely woman, it was a pity I’d never get to be her apprentice. The rest of the band and company fortunately remained downstairs. To face any of them following Jimmy’s and my drama-ridden break-up would have been more than I could bear. The $10,000 Nikon stayed behind on the piece of furniture formerly known as my bedside table.
Jimmy could do with it what he liked. No way was I taking it with me.
My immediate existence revolved around expunging every trace of him from my memory. I’d forget the sound of his voice and the smell of him covered in sweat. I’d never again think about the one hundred and one stupid little conversations we’d had, all the things we fought about. My broken heart had been taped and glued to perfection. And all of these things were gone.
They had to be gone so I could face the future and put him in the past.
There was no way, however, I could face whatever fresh hell was happening inside my childhood home. Britney Spears. Give me strength. I about-faced, preparing to drag my full suitcase the two blocks back into town since my cab had already gone. So far as I knew, Toni still worked at the Burns Bed and Breakfast. If I slipped her twenty she’d keep my whereabouts secret for a couple of days.
But no, standing directly smack bam in the middle of my planned escape route stood my father. Time had made no major changes, he was still as stout and solid looking as he’d ever been. A bit more grey in his hair perhaps. In each hand was a bag filled to the brim with Kwong Chinese Restaurant containers. The best food to be had in my hometown, in my expert opinion.
“Lena?” He blinked at me in the violet and grey evening light. The weight around my heart lifted a little.
“Hey, Daddy.”
He looked me over, face frozen in shock. “My girl’s come home!”
“Yeah. I’m back.” Gah. Instantly, I turned on the waterworks and my face was a mess. My emotions needed to calm the fuck down.
Dad took two big steps forward, giving me the best hug possible when laden down with takeout. The delicious scent of Honey Chicken made my mouth water and my tummy growl. It’d be too much to ask that I be one of those girls that actually loses weight when her love life goes to shit, apparently.
I cuddled in against him, taking comfort.
“Good to have you home, sweetheart,” he said.
“Good to be home.” And it was.
For a moment, we just stared at one another, smiling in wonder. It was nice to know some things couldn’t be lost. The bond between me and my dad was one of those things.
“Was a bad business, what your sister did,” he said. “Your mother and I gave her firm words over it.”
“You did?” Huh, I’d always thought Alyce the Wonder Kid could do no wrong. There you go.
“Well of course we did. Though you were always too much of a handful for that idiot Brandon. He would never have made you happy.” Dad looked down at me over the rim of his glasses. “And you’re still not happy. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I got my heart broken again.” I chuckled, shrugged. “Stupid me, huh?”
“Stupid him, more like it. My girl’s a queen. Any boy that can’t see that doesn’t deserve to get within spitting distance.” The man should be president. He said the nicest damn things.
“Thanks, Dad.”
He just stared at me, waiting for more information.
“It really is a long story,” I said.
A particularly high-pitched, ear-shattering scream communicating what I supposed was extreme delight came from within the house. I winced.
“It’s going to be a long night,” sighed Dad. “What do you say we go inside, get the greetings out of the way, and then go hide out down in the basement with my beer fridge?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Your mother missed you, Lena.” He dug into his coat pocket for the keys. An impossible process given his many tasty burdens.
“Here, let me help.” I took one of the bags off his hands. “I missed her too. I just needed to get away for a while, find myself and stuff.”
“And what’d you find?”
“I found that I still have no sense when it comes to choosing men. But you know what, Dad?”
“What, Lena?” he asked with a smile.
“I’m okay on my own.”
His keys jingled as he fiddled about, searching for the right one. “Of course you are, you were always the strongest out of my girls. Your sister was always jealous of you, you know?”
“Get out of here.” I laughed. The whole idea was ridiculous. “Shiny, perfect Alyce?”
“Try shiny, sassy Lena. Always ready with a clever comeback and able to talk to anyone.” Dad smiled and pushed the front door open.
Light and noise assailed us along with many girls crying my name in surprise.
“Hi.” I gave a finger wave.
Alyce gave me a tremulous smile. Five-foot-eight and willowy slender, with a glossy fall of mahogany hair. “Lena. Hey.”
“Hi,” I repeated, just proving exactly how excellent I was with conversation.
Dad squeezed past me, taking the food into the kitchen. Her bridesmaids watched on with big curious eyes, the damn gossips. News of my return would no doubt be texted all over town within minutes.
“Thanks for coming back,” said my sister, looking all sorts of shy and uncertain. Her gaze wandered all over the place, unable to stay on me for long.
“Not a problem.”
Then my pint-sized hurricane of a mother flew out of the kitchen and tackle-hugged me. Our ample bosoms slammed together with an “oomph!” Rock-and-roll wrestlers would have been on their asses. My glasses were most definitely askew.
“About time,” she whispered. “Welcome back, honey.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I hugged her back until my arms ached. This had been the right thing to do, coming home. I felt better already, lighter. I could put myself back together in peace here. Forget about rock stars and slick suits and all the rest.
Mom, Dad, and I piled our plates high with Sweet and Sour Pork and so on, then retreated downstairs. The feral female bridesmaid pack could run wild with their squeeing on the ground level. It seemed even mom was ready for an estrogen break.
We quickly outvoted dad and the game got turned off in favor of an old black-and-white movie that was on TV. It was nice, being home, being with my parents, all of it. Very nice.
“Another beer, Lena?” asked Dad from his seat in the corner.
“I take it that’s your subtle way of asking me to go fetch you one?”
“I’m an old man. You have to look after your father.”
“Ri-i-ight.”
Mom just tittered. Lord knew how many white wines she’d sucked down before we came home. I didn’t begrudge her, Alyce’s wedding plans had obviously taken their toll.
The basement was Dad’s man palace. A huge flat-screen TV, comfy couches, and of course, the aforementioned beer fridge in the corner. Framed pictures of football jerseys lined the walls. Sometimes I wondered if Dad regretted not having sons, but he’d never said or indicated anything of the like. My parents were good people. Any issues I had body wise or whatever were my own. And while it was seriously great to be back home, I didn’t belong here long term.
Forget the past, I was going to do my thing (whatever that was) and be happy. Decision made.