“That is not how you tell a lady you like her, Jeremy Whelan.”
Jeremy gives me a death glare in response to my admonishment. With a heavy sigh, he hands over his phone to Duke and stays as still as he can while he takes us off the main highway and down a dirt road. We pass a sign that reads MENDO CATTLE RANCH suspended over the road.
“Grady is going to chop off your nuts and toss them in a fucking blender.” Duke’s voice practically sings as he taunts Jeremy. He turns his blue eyes to me and winks inappropriately.
“I got your girl on speed dial,” I threaten and straighten up as much as I can, being shoved into this corner. The men on the floor are both red-faced with a lack of oxygen and each with their forearm against the other’s neck. Duke and Jeremy have moved on to something else that has nothing to do with Grady or Jeremy’s balls.
Trying to ignore Ryan and Ian fighting on the floor proves to be too difficult. They’re on their way to hurting each other for real, which isn’t something I can deal with. I’m not even supposed to be here, and there’s no way these two mama’s boys are going to be able to lie convincingly to Mom if they come home beat up. Jim will assume it’s club related, and he’ll demand to know what happened. This just spells disaster.
“Hey, stop it!” I shout and turn toward them. From behind me, Duke chuckles. I swear, I could freaking slap him right now—not that I’d dare actually raising a hand to anyone.
“Stay out of it, Cub,” Ryan says through desperate breaths. His face slowly morphs from red to purple. My stomach drops and my hands shake. Tears spring to my eyes, but I pull them back. I get enough crap for how often I cry. I refuse to prove to Ryan that I’m too fragile for this life. I can do this. I can break this up and show him that I’m in this for the long haul and not just when it’s convenient.
Ryan kicks his leg out and wraps it around Ian’s, grabbing him in a hold that leaves Ian struggling for control of his lower half. The new position seems to afford Ryan slightly better control and more oxygen, but now Ian’s the one turning purple. Ian coughs and shakes with every breath he barely pulls into his lungs. What started out as a stupid pissing contest has turned into something very real, and it’s scaring me half to death.
“Knock it off,” I say and lean down slowly over Ryan’s back and place my palms on his shoulder blades. I’m no good in situations like this. If I don’t think about it, I can deal with it, but once I have time to process what I’m about to do or how I should go about taking care of things, I freeze and can’t function.
“Back off, Cub.” His words are strangled, though he doesn’t seem to be lacking oxygen. It sounds more like frustration. I know that voice well. It’s the only one he uses with me anymore. I just have to distract him and stop this stupid fight. It isn’t even much of a fight, but it could have severe consequences.
“Are you bored with me?” My voice is quiet as I say the words. I’d rather not be manipulative with him, but he leaves me no choice. His shoulders stiffen, and I remove my hands and sit back down on the long bench that stretches from the back doors up to right behind the driver’s seat. Ian struggles beneath Ryan and manages to shove him off a little. He doesn’t retaliate with his newfound freedom, so I think it’s safe to say they’re done with their little fight. Good. Then it worked. My mouth keeps going.
“I mean, if you’re sick of me, just say so.”
“Not the time, babe.” Ryan lets go of Ian but doesn’t otherwise move. He stays in that position, crouched down with his hands on the floor of the van. Ian scoots back and sucks in heavy breaths while giving Ryan a look that could possibly kill. I don’t care how improbable that sounds either.
“Now is the time. I can’t seem to keep your attention for anything these days, so maybe being stuck in this van is the best time to talk this out.”
In a flash, Ryan’s turned around, still with his hands on the van’s floor and his black hair falling over his forehead. His gray eyes practically pierce my soul with how he’s looking at me. Tiny lines form at the corners of his eyes, and for the first time today, I see slight circles around them. How tired is he? Did I not notice this before, or is it a trick of the light? I would know if he’s not been sleeping well, wouldn’t I? He sleeps next to me every night.