I’d watched Skylar the few times she’d come into the gym that summer, noticed how quiet she was, the dark circles under her eyes. I’d worried, remembering those early days with Crystal when we’d escaped from Cash Creek years ago, her depression, the drugs. But since Skylar had gone back to school, she was coming around. Jamie said she was getting into her music again.
I’d never really worried about Jamie, not the same way I had Crystal. Jamie was strong. The strongest of all of us.
The wind had calmed down, the water smoothing out. I watched our birds far in the distance. I felt someone looking at me and glanced at Skylar, who was staring at me, that serious look in her eyes again.
“You okay?” I said.
“Do you hate me?” she said.
I was startled. “Of course not.”
She took a quick breath, like she was bracing to say the next words. “I’m his daughter.”
“You’re ours,” I said fiercely. “You were never his.”
Her chin started to quiver, then her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry I didn’t save her. I’m really sorry, Dallas.” Her shoulders were shaking now, her hands coming up to cover her face. Jamie started to reach for Skylar, but I stepped forward, wrapped my arms around her tight.
“She didn’t want to be saved, Skylar,” I said. It hurt me to say it, but it was true. Something shifted deep inside me, a strange sort of relief rising into my chest, pushing through the rigid muscle and bone. My eyes were burning. I fought, still trying to hang on, scared suddenly that I’d be swept away.
“I love you, Dallas,” Skylar said, her cheek pressed to mine.
It broke then, the tears. They swelled up, surged through my body, flooded down my cheeks, mixed with the salty air, blended with Skylar’s on my face. I couldn’t stop, my body shuddering, my breath coming out in strangled noises.
“It’s okay,” Skylar said.
Her voice was so sweet, so gentle. I sobbed, everything blurring together in my mind, how I’d held Jamie and Crystal and we’d buried our father, how I’d promised them it was going to be okay. That’s all I wanted, to take care of my sisters and keep them safe. We had to stay together. I’d tried to hang on to them tightly, but Crystal was always twisting and pulling, going her own way, and Jamie had been angry at me so many times. I couldn’t let them see that I was also scared. So scared that if I stopped being angry, there’d be nothing left of me.
I wiped at my eyes, blinked at the horizon. Over Skylar’s shoulder I saw the string of birds disappear. We’d come here to release Crystal, but she was the one who had finally freed us. We’d lived for so long in fear. But we could do things now. Jamie could become a photographer and go back to school. I could have a farm, could marry. I could have a baby. The thought almost stole the breath out of my lungs. I hadn’t known I’d still wanted that, felt a tug inside me pulling me toward something hopeful.
Skylar and I pulled apart. I wiped my face again, embarrassed. Jamie touched my arm, gave it a squeeze.
We walked back to the car, Skylar’s long legs gliding through the water. She jogged ahead, noticing an old man on the beach who’d dropped his hat, the wind sending it tumbling down the shore. She chased after it.
“I still can’t believe she’s my daughter sometimes,” Jamie said, beside me.
Skylar had caught the hat, brought it back to the man. She turned and smiled at us, her hair blowing wild.
“She’s the best part of all of us,” I said.
Jamie turned to me, her forehead creased like she was trying to place my words, then I saw the memory take hold, softening her eyes, her mouth. She also remembered what our mother used to say. You three are the best part of me.
“Yeah, she is.”
Skylar met us at the shore, looped her arms through ours. We walked back to the car together. Three of us, once again.