Live Wire (Ramsey Security #2)

"You make me weak. To handle Marx, I need to be Little Maven."

"Handle him?" I ask, thinking about what she means. "What if I say we find something on him and call the cops? No handling him necessary. What then?"

Saskia refuses to look at me, even after I erase the distance between us. "What then?" I ask again.

"That's not the right call. Marx might go to jail and still send people after you. We don't know how he communicated with the guy from New York. We don't know how many people are in the cult or if they're here in Texas now. He knows the answers, but he won't tell us willingly."

"You don't want to do that anymore," I whisper, taking her shaking hands in mine. "You aren't Little Maven anymore."

Saskia yanks her hands free. "I have to be to finish this."

"Then I'm firing you. It's not your job anymore to finish."

Her gaze meets mine, and I see her shutting down her feelings towards me. Saskia loses all of the warmth in her expression, and her hands stop shaking. She's hiding away all of the good inside her, so she can return to a life of blood and pain. A life she doesn't want anymore but will endure to protect me.

Not going to happen.

A startled Saskia gasps when I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder.

"Very caveman-like," she mutters, hanging limply from me.

"You'd do the same thing to me if I was being reckless."

Saskia doesn't answer as I carry her into the house. Mom and Nell look at us, exchange amused glances, and return to watching TV.

"That's my boy," Mom snickers.

I hear Nell laughing as we disappear into my bedroom. After slamming the door shut with my foot, I walk to the bed and rest Saskia on her back. She stares at me with a pissed expression.

"What's next, big man?" she growls.

Ignoring her anger, I remove the gun strapped to her hip. Next, I crawl over her while keeping her arms pinned next to her head.

"You're done with Little Maven."

"Says you, but I say I need to finish this thing with Marx."

"Let the others do it."

"NO."

Pressing my forehead against hers, I stare into her dark eyes. "Yes because I love you, and I know what's right."

I see a glimpse of the real Saskia behind her stubborn exterior. She wants to be loved. More than that, she trusts that I do love everything about her including her flaws. Yet Little Maven is what she knows.

"When your mother died..."

"When I killed her," she corrects in a cold voice.

"Yes, when you killed her, you didn't know what else to do except to be Little Maven. Now you have a choice. You can retire from the life your mother forced you into and begin a new life where your value doesn't come from hurting people. You're more than violence. You just haven't had a chance to embrace anything except what your mother shoved down your throat when you were too young to say no. Now you can say it."

"I don't want to say no. I want to end this shit with Marx so you'll be safe. We can't really build a life when you're living in fear."

"That's bullshit, and you know it. How many people have you pissed off over the years? Any of them could one day show up and ruin things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy now. Torturing and killing Marx might be necessary, but not if you're the one doing it. You aren't the same woman who walked through my front door weeks ago. That Saskia could hurt Marx without caring. The woman I'm looking at right now can't do that without destroying something important inside her."

Saskia stares at me as our foreheads rest together. I don't know what she's thinking, but I feel the ice around her heart melting. She doesn't want to live a violent life anymore, but starting over is fucking scary.

Her lips lift up to mine, kissing me tentatively. Her head and heart struggle for dominance, and I worry the former will win as usual. Deciding to tip the scales in my favor, I deepen the kiss.

I roll onto my side and wrap her tighter into an embrace. No longer trapped under me, Saskia could run. A part of her likely wants to win for the simple fact that she's accustomed to winning. She doesn't run though.

"I love you," she whispers in between kisses. "I can't let you die."

"I'm not going to die. Not with you around."

"I can make Marx talk."

"I don't need him to talk. What I need is for you to escape from your mother's clutches. She's been dead for too long to still have this much hold over you."

"Without Little Maven, who am I?"

"You're my woman."

Saskia frowns at me. "You spent too much time with Rafael."

Grinning, I kiss her again. She relaxes in my arms as her cold exterior disappears.

"I really don't want to leave this house," she murmurs.

"I know that feeling."

"It's not healthy."

"And your old life was? Healthy doesn't mean shit. Happiness should be our goal. Are you happy here?"

Saskia smiles warmly. "Yes."

"You've changed, and I don't think you should force yourself back into that Little Maven box."

"You like being right, don't you, big man?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

"Yes, but you're the nice one."