Pax tells me not to touch his shit or eat his food. After his little speech, he makes us popcorn and we watch a movie. Ford is so obviously relieved to have his brother play nice that I can’t help hugging him. Hell, if he didn’t look like a worried kid when I first walk in. Once we’re settled in, I caught him smiling ever so slightly. Yeah, life is pretty damn good.
Mom jumps at the chance to have the boys stay with me especially once she learns I have a man. Oh, they need a male figure in their life, she says. My brothers start packing the same day I call, even knowing I won’t be in Hawthorne for a few weeks. They don’t care. Life just got a helluva lot brighter for them.
The weekend before Ford and I drive to Georgia, we go to Darby’s house for the last barbecue before the weather gets too cold. A lot of club families attend. Even though Ford can’t talk marriage without looking like he needs to take a really painful dump, I’m his old lady in the eyes of the club. I’m part of their family now.
Bebe isn’t and seems out of place during the barbecue. Joining her on the deck to watch the kids play, I ask if she’s thought about dating now that she has such a great babysitter with Darby.
“Jenn wants to set me up with a club guy. I told her no way. I’m looking for a nice dork, not a sexy biker.”
“That would be more convincing if you weren’t checking out Pax right now.”
We share a smile as Pax wrestles with a guy sporting a ponytail. I suspect the guy doesn’t want to play, but Pax knocks him down anyway.
“I’m not shallow. I proved with Howie that I can ignore if a guy’s fugly. What I need is someone who treats me and Lula with respect.”
Glancing at Pax, she adds, “I’m not saying certain dangerous, rude, immature guys aren’t extremely fun to look at, but life isn’t all about F U C K I N G fun. If I’m going to have a man in my life, I want him to be sweet even if he’s not sexy. It’s all about priorities.”
Looking like a sexy beast, Ford stands next to Pax. I think about how sweet he is to me. How he makes sure I’m safe. Hell, he’s taking in my little brothers just to make me happy. Somehow, I lucked out by finding a man as gorgeous as he is considerate. Oh, and the sex is brilliant too.
“I hope you find your nice guy,” I say and Bebe shrugs.
“If it happens, it happens. If not, I’ll be like Darby.”
Bebe and I sit together while Ford and Pax talk with Joker. Lula joins us after awhile, cuddling in her mom’s lap. Everyone seems relaxed until Ford catches my gaze and gestures for me to join him.
Once I reach him, Ford takes me into his arms and glues my body against his. I know he’s tense and he can’t talk about why, so I say the only thing I can.
“I love you.”
Ford smiles gently, kissing my forehead as I look up at him.
Pax grunts though. “Gross. I think I’ll go wrestle with Sharpie again. Might make him cry in front of his woman.”
“Have at it,” Ford mutters, still staring at me.
Even surrounded by all these people, I feel like Ford and I exist alone. It’s a relief since I worry about having my brothers living with us. New relationships are fragile and kids need attention. I don’t know if I can make the situation work. As if reading my mind, Ford whispers, “This is real. As long as you and I are real, none of the other shit matters.”
How can I argue with the logic of the man who owns my heart?
51
Ford
Fucking Beautiful
Pax punches me every morning since Shay moved into the house. Otherwise, he’s fine with the changes. I even think he’s excited for her brothers to get to town. Pax plans to be a bad influence. He tells Shay this every morning and she flips him off then they laugh. I wonder what the routine will be after we return from Hawthorne next week.
Darby’s backyard is decked out like an island paradise with Tiki torches. I remember a similar barbecue a few months before MJ died. It was the last time Darby and Joker had a party as a couple.
Joker walks over to me while I watch Pax torment Sharpie. My brother hates the fucker. He’ll never admit this fact, but he will make Sharpie wish they never met.
“What were you up to last night?” Joker asks, watching Pax wrestle Sharpie.
I shrug. “Went to the batting cages with Pax and Shay then out to dinner. Why?”
“Wondered if you knew about the club meeting.”
“What meeting?” I ask, frowning darkly.
Joker glances at me and I see his smile is bullshit. He’s pissed.
“Trigger’s meeting. Last night, he and a bunch of guys had a meeting to talk about territory. Big Dick was there. Zombie, Taco, even Sharpie.”
Getting his point, I feel my stomach react angrily to this new reality.
“How did you find out?” I ask, lowering my voice.
“Trigger’s boy Madden told me. Said Trigger felt I was getting sloppy. I’m letting things turn to shit to make him look bad, so I can take over. Yeah, he thinks I’m fucking him over because I don’t want his boys running the club.”
“Why would Madden snitch out his dad?”