I don’t know how long we stand like that. But before I know what’s happened we’re kissing, a hard, desperate kiss, like we’re trying to impress the memory of it into our lips. Then we cry a little, both of us. His tears mix with mine on my cheeks. I’m afraid to move, because when we move again, all bets are off. We’ll have to go.
When we make it back to the parking lot, his mom’s van is already there, and Becky’s car is a few spots away. I wipe my face.
“Just a few months,” I say. “See you in Bluff?”
He doesn’t smile this time. We kiss again. It’s softer. Gentler.
“Just say the word,” he whispers.
I watch him climb into his mom’s van. I wave at Vivi one more time. Becky pretends to text someone on her phone, trying to give me a minute, but I know she’s watching.
I touch the pendant again. A splinter of wood, broken and made into something new. I don’t know if the fractured picture is really an angel wing or not, but I know what Gabe has given me.
I know he’s given me flight.
RESOURCES
While the characters in Lies You Never Told Me are fictional, some of the challenges they face are unfortunately all too real. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or domestic violence, the organizations listed below can help.
You’re not alone.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) thehotline.org
All calls are free and confidential, with advocates available 24/7 in more than 200 languages.
RAINN
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) rainn.org
Call to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) suicidepreventionlifeline.org Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals. If the situation is potentially life-threatening, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 1-800-662-HELP (4357) samhsa.gov
Provides resources on general mental health and can help connect you with local treatment options.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The first person on my list is Lanie “Ride-or-Die” Davis, whom I can’t thank enough for her fortitude, flexibility, and insight. She met every minor catastrophe along the way with compassion, and believed in this book, and in me, throughout.
I’d also like to thank Jessica Almon, Julie Rosenberg, and Ben Schrank at Razorbill for their excitement and vision, as well as Phyllis DeBlanche, Annie Stone, and Eliza Swift, each of whom put eyes on this at various points of the process and helped it become an actual book.
Last but not least, I’d like to thank all my family and friends, particularly Matt Donaldson. Shout-out as well to the NICU nurses and therapists at St. David’s Main in Austin. In your hands I felt strong enough to get to the finish line.
No thanks at all to A.D., who did absolutely nothing to help, but whom I love with all my heart anyway.