Focus.
Pulling my gaze from her lips, I got to the point. “I didn’t get a chance to mention it last night, but I think it would be best if you didn’t let it get out…what you can do. Not everyone will like the idea that you can get inside their head.”
Understanding dawned in her cornflower eyes. “They’ll think I’m a threat.” I could see the wheels turning in that brain of hers, putting together all kinds of scenarios. Her chin lifted just a fraction. “I don’t plan on broadcasting it over the six o’clock news.” She shuffled her feet again over the wood planks of the porch.
She had gumption, loads of it and I couldn’t help but grin. Something was definitely on her mind, other than being able to play with people’s minds. One way or the other I was going to pull it out of her. “Okay, with that settled, you can stop the nervous shuffle and just spit it out.”
Her lips turned down in a delectable frown. “Why would you think I have anything to say to you?”
My brow shot up.
She looked down at her hands, and I wanted to reach out, pull her into my arms. Whatever it was, it was making her very nervous. Sighing heavily, she relented. “Fine.” Then she crossed her arms and leaned back into the railings. “I don’t understand what is going on between us. One minute you are all over me and the next you can’t get far enough away. What gives?”
What gives? If she only knew. Too much was the problem, there was too much going on between us and for the first time, I felt my control slipping, no tumbling away from me. Sure, I’ve struggled with control my whole life, being part demon was no walk in the park, but this thing going on between Angel Eyes and I made my demon seem miniscule. “Nothing gives, except your bad taste in company.” I couldn’t resist the jab at my cousin and the opportunity to change the subject.
“Did you and Travis have some kind of falling out I don’t know about?” she asked.
I shrugged. “We just have different ideas of what’s right. This Emma thing hasn’t got him thinking straight.”
Her lips were set in a thin line. “Let me guess, your way is the right way.”
I gave her my signature grin. “Of course.”
She didn’t look convinced. “That still doesn’t explain why you are acting all weird. I feel it remember?”
Yeah, I didn’t need a reminder. She wasn’t the only one who was dealing with this connection. I wasn’t used to having these extra emotions, the extra worry about another person, and don’t get me started about the persistent and annoying separation anxiety. This bond could be darn inconvenient at times.
Like now.
“Ever since we got back from seeing Ives you’ve been acting strange. What could he have possibly said to make you bug out?” Her voice was filled with frustration.
I glanced over my shoulder staring into the woods behind her house. I didn’t want to lie to her, but she made me feel so exposed. Vulnerable. I didn’t like the feeling. Not. One. Bit. But I owed her honesty.
Here went nothing. “I’m not bugging out. And it’s not so much what he said, but our situation.”
“Situation?” she echoed, puzzled. “You’re talking about being strapped to me for all eternity?”
Immediately I got defensive, the demon in me roared to life. “It’s not like that and you know it.” Never for me. I didn’t let myself think about the future, or what our future would be. If I did then I would hope and hope wasn’t something I trusted. Hope in my book equaled pain.
Like always with me, she answered in anger. That I could count on. Her sarcasm usually cloaked hurt. “What is it like Chase? Because I’m not getting it. If you are having second thoughts–”
My eyes slammed into hers. If there was one thing I didn’t want to cause her, it was pain. “I don’t regret the outcome of what happened that night I saved you. I would do it again in a heartbeat.” There I’d said it. It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from my chest. So I kept on going. Hell why not. I’d come this far. “I just wish that I had been able to save your soul. Knowing that it’s been darkened by hell kills me.” I pushed off the banister, standing in front of her. “Then there are all these feelings that I don’t know what to do about. When I’m not near you, it feels like there is a gapping whole in my heart. The further and longer I’m gone, the bigger it gets. Suddenly, I find myself unable to get a grip on my control. It gets more difficult every day I see you.”
How was that for honesty?
Seconds ticked by turning into minutes and she hadn’t said a thing, just stared at me like she hardly recognized me. Wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d been expecting, but then again I wasn’t really sure what I had expected. Surely not her looking so…thunderstruck.