However, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations is CRUCIAL to developing new skills and gaining valuable experience. I know Drake told you he went from “0 to 100 real quick,” but I promise you he went from 0 to 1 to 2 to 2.2 to 3. It was only after he put himself in a lot of uncomfortable situations that he finally hit 100. In fact, early in his career, Drake got booed off the stage in his hometown. (Sounds pretty uncomfortable. Also, who boos Drake?!)
I can confidently say that I’m skilled at making YouTube videos, and that’s only because I went through the horrifying experience of making my first ten videos. I had to go through the awkward process of figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Although it was terrifying, if I hadn’t made those first ten videos, I would never have been able to make the 500 videos that are online today and that now have over 1 billion views combined. It’s easy to look back and see how far I’ve come, but it’s harder to remember that I need to keep pushing myself. If I know that stepping outside my comfort zone helped me become a YouTube success, then why am I so scared to do it again when auditioning for film roles?
Well, I answered my own question: because it’s scary! And sitting in a tense room reciting lines to a complete stranger isn’t exactly a comfortable situation.
It’s times like these when you need to Bawse up. You have to seek out situations that make you uncomfortable and then throw yourself into them. That doesn’t mean risking your life by walking on the edge of a building—you don’t need to do everything that scares you or makes you uncomfortable. Instead, push yourself to do things that will help you reach your goal. And if your goal is to walk on the edge of a building, then dude, that’s rad as eff. (Also, you’re crazy and I want to send your mother an Edible Arrangements basket in sympathy.)
“YOU HAVE TO SEEK OUT SITUATIONS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE AND THEN THROW YOURSELF INTO THEM.
One of my goals is to act in movies. I haven’t been to acting school and I don’t have much experience on large film sets. So you can imagine my fear when my manager called to tell me I’d been asked to audition for a major role in a high-budget movie. I’d be lying if I said a little pee didn’t escape my body.
My initial instinct was to say “hell no” because I was terrified and, let’s be real, there was zero chance I would land that role. They would definitely want a more experienced and qualified actress to be part of such a huge franchise. I can’t say exactly which movie it was (shout-outs to my lawyer), so let’s just assume it’s a movie about battles that takes place in outer space. Yes, that one. Luckily for me, my schedule conflicted with the audition and I found an excuse not to go. What a lovely, comfortable situation.
Two weeks later my manager phoned me again to say the casting director wanted to book another audition time with me. Now, I’m not a big believer in fate, but when something comes your way twice, you can’t help but think Beyoncé, Kelly, and Michelle are in the air because “baby, that’s destiny.” I mustered up my courage and told them “sure,” sealing the deal on my uncomfortable demise.
The morning of the audition I sat down and had a talk with myself. I reminded myself that the first ten times I do anything, I’m horrible at it. BUT those first ten times are crucial in order for me to be successful the eleventh time (or a little better at it). It’s not about getting the role; it’s about doing the audition. And as long as I leave the audition without having spontaneously combusted, I will have succeeded.
“THINK OF DISCOMFORT AS CURRENCY–IT’S THE PRICE YOU PAY TO LEARN SOME PRETTY CRUCIAL THINGS.
I walked into the building and instantly wanted to pass out. It was filled with gorgeous girls who didn’t seem to be nervous whatsoever. I smiled at one and she gave me the cold shoulder. Cue pee escaping body, round two!
I checked in, sat down, and took deep breaths. I didn’t get to see any of the script in advance, so I had to learn the entire thing at the audition. Also, minor detail, but I know nothing about this outer space franchise, so reading a script about galaxies with weird names only added to my stress. Is this the name of a main character or did someone sneeze? SEND HELP!
After I’d spent an hour memorizing difficult paragraphs, they called my name and I went into the torture chamb—I mean, audition room. I introduced myself and then the audition quickly began. I started reciting lines, only to mess up a few sentences in. Keep calm, Lilly! Damn, this was really hard, and my brain was racing. But I tried again. Within the space of a few minutes I did the scene twice, and the second time around I didn’t forget any of my lines. More importantly, I was still alive!
Afterward the casting agent and I had a great conversation and she told me she was really impressed with my performance. Was she lying? I DON’T CARE. The point is I did it! I DIDN’T SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST AS IF HARRY POTTER WERE IN THE CORNER ALL LIKE “REDUCTO.” I walked out of that audition and felt amazing. Needless to say, I didn’t get the part. I mean, if I was part of a major movie franchise, would I be sitting here in this crappy rented apartment eating two-day-old pizza? No. The answer is no. (Actually … maybe.)
Wait. OMG! I get it, Nicki Minaj! There’s a gym in the jungle because it’s called a jungle gym. Holy crap, I’m a genius.
Back to my point. The next time I have a difficult audition I’m going to feel a tad better about it because of this experience. It’ll keep getting a little easier and a little less terrifying each time. To succeed at something, you have to step out of your comfort zone, inch by inch. Think of discomfort as currency—it’s the price you pay to learn some pretty crucial things. Besides, the goal isn’t always the trophy. The goal can also be the stepping-stones—the bronze and silver medals that bring you closer to the gold.
Remember, on the path to success, fear and discomfort are only speed bumps. Don’t make them dead ends.
May the gravity be with you. Wait, that’s how it goes, right?
Get Uncomfortable
What are three things you know you need to do in order to succeed, but find absolutely terrifying?
EMOTIONS ARE GREAT if you’re at a wedding, a funeral, or your kid’s graduation or while watching The Lion King. It’s a wonderful blessing to be in situations that evoke real emotion. Your baby girl is walking onstage looking like an adult, being handed her diploma, and you shed a tear. She’s all grown up now. Also, her tuition fees left you broke and now your TV is an iPod with a magnifying glass in front of it. It’s all so overwhelming and bittersweet. You should cry your heart out. But when you’re in a situation in which work needs to get done, put those emotions away. Emotions can cloud your judgment and reduce productivity. That’s not my opinion; it’s a fact. A fact that I made up just now, but it’s probably 100 percent scientifically accurate.
I’m not suggesting you be a heartless robot, but I am encouraging you to have selective emotions when tasks need to get done, especially in a group setting. Maybe there are ten valid reasons to be upset with your life right now, but in the middle of a shoot, with a crew of ten people who all have a job to get done, getting angry or offended will not help. It’s extremely difficult to do, but a Bawse understands the importance of having tunnel vision. Sometimes you have to block out distracting emotions in order to get things done, especially if other team members are relying on you.
I get a little (aka very) crazy when I’m in creation mode. I want to make magic, and when I’m calling the shots I practice a tunnel vision so intense that my peripherals couldn’t even sense a bird flying toward my head. It’s a blessing and a curse. Beaks are sharp. I have more ear piercings than I’d like.