I never believed there was such a thing as soulmates, but now I was starting to rethink that. Even after spending so much time away from each other, and everything that had happened, I still felt this pull towards him that was undeniable.
“Seeing about my old job,” I replied tightly, turning to look away from him and it took everything out of me to do that. Those grey eyes were just about ready to suck me in, even with Nash standing right there. It was like only the two of us existed, right then and there.
“Della, I-”
Luckily, Brian stepped out from the kitchen at that very moment and cut off whatever Justin was about to say. “Della, what a surprise! Please tell me you’re here to get your old job back because if you are, it’s yours.”
I smiled at Brian, having missed his easy personality. He really was the best boss. “Really? That’s awesome, I was hoping I could start back up once school started.”
“Perfect, stop in next week, and I’ll have you down on the schedule.” He looked between me and Justin who was now leaning against the counter, his head cradled in his hands and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Good luck with that,” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth, before turning back towards the kitchen.
“Della,” I heard Justin call out my name again, but Nash stepped forward. “Just leave her alone, dude.”
“Nash,” I interrupted quietly. “Could you please just give us a minute? I’ll meet you in the truck.”
I saw a flash of hurt pass through his eyes, but he backed up and nodded his head before going towards the parking lot.
“How have you been?” I asked tightly, trying to make some kind of small talk because really I didn’t know what else to say.
“Horrible. I think about you night and day, Della. About what we had, about what we could have had before I fucked everything up. And you’ve obviously seemed to move on,” he looked down at the floor, kicking his shoe against the bar stool.
I didn’t bother arguing. Yes, I was with Nash but I had most definitely not moved on. Justin was on my brain almost every second of the day. But I didn’t want to give him any kind of hope because I didn’t think we would ever go back to being us, at least not for awhile. I think someday I could forgive him, but I would never forget, even if what he did seemed not that big of a deal to other people.
“Well, I don’t know what else to say Justin. You’re not the only one who can’t stop thinking about us, but right now I just need a little more time.” It took everything in me, but I turned away and walked out the door, leaving him standing there alone.
Seeing him conjured up all of those feelings and memories that I had tried so hard to just forget about, but I now knew that was going to be impossible. There was still so much between the two of us, it was hard to deny. I swiped a lone tear away as I climbed back into Nash’s truck and slammed the door behind me. The ride home was silent until he pulled into the driveway. “Nash, I think we need to talk.”
“I think we do, Della.” His lips were pulled into a tight line and I could see his jaw ticking, a sure sign that he was upset.
“Nash, I just-”
“No, Della, I think I need to go first. I’ve been thinking about this all day and how to tell you exactly. I know it’s going to ruin anything we had because I just can’t continue this now.”
“What is it, Nash?” I asked, confused as to why it sounded like he was breaking up with me when I had been about to do the same thing. It wasn’t because I had just seen Justin…well that had to do with it partially. But over the past couple of weeks I had come to the conclusion that we were better off friends and I think that was all we really would be.
“I really care about you, Della. But…” he chewed on his bottom lip, and I raised my brows, wondering what could have Nash so knotted up that it was so hard for him just to tell me. “Mariah’s pregnant,” he rushed out, “about four months along, and I can’t just leave her all alone to deal with this. I have to be there for her, and I can’t do that while I’m with you. It just isn’t right.” He blew out a breath, squeezing his eyes shut. I reached out a hand to try to console him in some way. I really didn’t know how to.
This was life-changing news for Nash, and I couldn’t imagine how he was dealing with it. My heart swelled for him being forced back together with Mariah, someone that I just couldn’t see him being with, even if it was just to parent together, but I knew Nash all too well, he would probably be proposing to her the next day. “I don’t know what to say, Nash. Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head sharply. “Not really, Della. I just found out, and I think I need some time alone to think about this,” he kissed me gently on the cheek and whispering, “I’m sorry.”