Chaotic (Imperfection Perfection #1)

“So, have you heard from Justin anymore?” Zoey asked, sliding her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose to question me. Callie and Zoey had both been pissed at Justin, almost more than I was when we had broken up.

They had offered on numerous occasions to do some kind of bodily harm to him, but I told them I didn’t think that was necessary. I’m pretty sure the guilt had eaten Justin up enough, and he was the one who had to live with himself now, knowing that he ruined what we had together. Some people might think that I overreacted, but that was there opinion. Yes, we hadn’t really been official, but we had agreed not to see other people. The fact that Justin had totally broken my trust was just something I couldn’t get over.

Zoey had seemed to have gotten over her hate for Justin lately though. She had asked me more than a few times if I had ever just thought about talking things out with him, but I flat out refused. We were done and over with, even though I missed him every day. I just didn’t want to put my heart out for him, only for it to get broken again, when really it wasn’t even whole right now.

“Nope,” I said with an audible pop, burying my face against the wooden planks so I could avoid both of their eyes on me. I hadn’t heard from him lately, but I hated the way they looked at me whenever he was brought up. Like they thought I would break at any moment.

“And I’m not planning on talking to him, so you guys don’t need to bring him up every time we have a conversation. I’m over him.” I wished that was true, and I’m pretty sure they could see right through me, but I was sick of talking about that whole topic.

“Touchy, touchy, aren’t we?” Callie countered.

“Okay, this is the last time I’ll bring it up then, but I think you should give him another chance. Or at least have a nice long talk with him. What you guys had was special, and I feel like you’re just letting it slip by. I don’t want you to regret it someday. I’m not saying what he did was right, but it did happen when you guys weren’t ‘serious’.” I rolled my eyes at her air quotes and pretty much everything else she had just said. Yeah, I got what she was saying, but I still had so much pent up anger by the whole situation, and she just didn’t understand.

“That doesn’t matter, Zoey. It’s the fact that he lied to me on more than one occasion and never fessed up until I heard the truth with my own ears. Maybe he would have told me, maybe he wouldn’t have, I’ll never know, but it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, sounds like you have your mind pretty made up then. I promise this is the last time I’ll bring it up. So now we’ll have fun together for the next few days.” I smiled at Zoey, who I knew was only trying to be helpful, but I was glad that we were done.

We all rolled over onto our backs and Zoey pulled out the sunscreen she had brought out to apply it to the front of her. Seeing her look like a lifeguard with a layer of white across her face, made me glad that I didn’t have to worry about fair skin.

“What about things between you and Nash?” Callie asked after we heard Zoey’s heavy breathing, a sign that she had all ready fallen asleep.

I shrugged my shoulders, because I wasn’t really sure how to answer that question. Nash had been there for me a lot after the break up, comforting me whenever the girls weren’t around. He had become almost a permanent fixture at our dorm and often ended up sleeping on the couch when we would stay up late watching movies and eating take out. But we had definitely stayed in the friend’s zone, I hadn’t been ready or wanted to jump right into another relationship.

“I don’t know, he’s a great friend, and I’m not sure if we’ll ever be more. I mean, yeah I’m attracted to him, who wouldn’t be? But I’m not sure if we would ever work out in any kind of relationship besides being friends. I don’t know if I really want to risk our friendship to find out either. I don’t even know if I’m ready to move on.”

“I think you are,” she replied confidently. “Maybe that’ll be with Nash or someone completely new. You handled yourself a lot better than you think, Della. You’re strong. And I think Nash would be willing to give things a shot with you, if you were. Even if things don’t work out, I think he’ll always be there for you.”

I nodded my head at her, chewing on everything she had just said. I didn’t even know if Nash wanted that type of relationship with me anymore, he hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort to me in awhile. I hadn’t seen him with any other girls, and I didn’t know how I would handle that if I did.

I must have dozed off after awhile because droplets of water rained down on my skin, making my eyes pop open instantly. I wondered how long I had been laying there because my skin felt like it was being scorched by the sun that was now glaring down on us, and the water didn’t have that chill to it like earlier.

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