Tallulah bounces a lot on Christmas. She loves her dolls and introduces each one to Folgers, who looks like he might think they're chew toys. Pax claims he'll borrow Tallulah's new reading toy so he can brush up on his skills. I tell him he can also borrow the vibrator Shay bought me for Christmas. A sighing Pax is clearly disappointed by my horniness on such a holy day.
We meet Ford, Shay, Donnie, and Devin for dinner at Apron Strings. I'm surprised a restaurant is open on the holiday, but Pax points out how a lot of people are alone at Christmas. I remember my holidays before Pax were quiet, rather sad affairs.
Christmas night arrives early when Tallulah crashes just before eight. I tuck her into bed then hurry to Pax. He keeps claiming sex doesn't belong on Christmas. Grabbing my vibrator, I walk downstairs to satisfy myself and ask if he wants to watch. Pax shakes off his aversion to mixing the holiday and sex.
A few days later, Tallulah begins bouncing about her upcoming fourth birthday. Pax is just as giddy. He wants to take her to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd think the memory of the Zombie confrontation would ruin the place. Pax explains how Chuck E. Cheese was also the first place he made Tallulah laugh so hard she snorted. A snort-laughing daughter trumps murderous freak.
The day before Tallulah's birthday, Ginger arrives with a gift. I'm surprised to see her, and she grins at my gawking face.
"Sabine isn't around to play auntie, so here's a gift she would give."
"You don't have to."
"She's dead because of me," she says, reminding me of Pax's confession about Zombie. "Trigger did the deed and he paid the price, but I still want to look out for you. You might as well let me since it's not like you can stop me."
Taking the gift, I run my fingers over the wrapping paper. "Are you still at the hotel?"
"No. We've worked out a deal with Joker to handle the West Side for the club. The girls and I moved into a few locations. I might have killed my big bad, but that doesn't mean I'm not still paranoid. Here's my card," she says, handing me an actual business card. "The email is mine. The phone is for a nail salon. They'll forward messages to me, if I don't respond to emails."
I study the card then look at her. "I didn't ask Pax, but I want to know. Did Trigger suffer like he made Sabine suffer?"
"Yeah," Ginger says, smiling slightly. "Difference was he was an evil fuck who had it coming and she was a chick trying to live her life. No amount of torture was ever going to make things even. Still, he screamed like a bitch, if that helps."
I hold her gaze. "It does."
When Ginger steps back, I sense she's edgy in the suburban normalcy around her.
"Wolfman will be out soon. Did Pax tell you that?"
Nodding, I reflexively glance around as if Howie might be in the bushes.
"When he gets out, he'll come for you and especially Tallulah. He's a bitter fuck. As someone who likes to hold a grudge, I know my kind when I see them. He'll never let you go."
"I know."
"And you know Pax will deal with it."
"I'd rather you do it."
Frowning, Ginger steps closer. "Why?"
"Pax is Tallulah's father now. He and I will be married and having more kids soon. We're making a family. One day, Tallulah will find out about Howie, and I don't want Pax to be the one who kills him. I don't want to give her a stupid teenage reason to be upset with her real dad because he took out an asshole who would have ruined her."
Shivering in the winter day, I continue, "Maybe she won't care, but I was an idiot as a teenager and blamed my mom for not having a normal life. I don't want Tallulah blaming Pax for Howie's death. I know him, and he won't be able to lie well enough for her not to know he's lying. Someone else has to do it."
Ginger grins. "I don't care if it makes me a sick fucker, but I love killing bad men. All bad people really, but especially men like Wolfman and his brother."
"I'll consider it your wedding gift to us."
Ginger's smile grows. "Oh, I'm getting you a blender or some shit too. I've always wanted to buy something off a wedding registry. Feels so middle class."
We share a laugh, but I know she doesn't feel safe in this quiet neighborhood. For her, the rough streets are home. For me, I've never been happier to be surrounded by blah.
Tallulah enjoys her birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Darby, Lupe, Amanda, and Shay bring their kids. Jenn calls to say she'll feel better by the wedding, so she better be a bridesmaid. She even claims to look great in lime green.
Pax runs around with the kids, playing games and finding ways to annoy Ford. Shay and I laugh at the men, who eventually wrestle around on the ground. Tallulah cheers on her daddy who loses the fight but wins the farting contest later.
Her blood father calls the next day while I'm washing dishes. I almost don't recognize his voice, but the memories quickly come crashing down on me.
"The kid is four today, right?" he says.
"Yesterday. What do you want?"
"I'm getting out of prison real soon. I want to see my daughter and make sure she's safe."
I open my mouth to tear him a new one. Safe? After he fucking sold her off to Taz! Rather than school him on his shitty existence, I devise a better plan.