"Some people are saying it was a terrorist attack," Ashley babbles while checking Tallulah's blood pressure.
A stony-faced Shay glances at me then at the nurse. "We'll tell you what we told the cops. We didn't see anything."
Hearing Shay's bitchy tone, the nurse decides gossip isn't on the menu. She finishes her checklist then leaves us alone. Tallulah watches her go and stares at the closing door as if Pax might appear at that very moment. When he doesn't, she sighs.
The TV is on, and we all pretend to watch cartoons. Seeing Tallulah's eyelids are heavy, I know she needs to sleep. She even tries to sleep, but every noise from outside the room startles her.
"Mom," she finally whimpers.
"Does your arm hurt?" I ask, caressing her cheek. "Or your head?"
"No. When is Daddy coming back?"
"He has to punish the bad men. He'll be back in the morning."
Holding my hand, Tallulah yawns super wide. For the next few minutes, I watch her while she watches me. My heart aches with guilt, always feeling I should have protected her better. Despite my regrets, Tallulah smiles at me as she dozes off.
Shay gets a text at nine thirty. Waiting while she reads it, I start to wonder if she's illiterate since she's taking so damn long.
"They're fine," she finally says.
I glare at her, so Shay glares back at me. We have a short contest. I'm fairly sure I win, but I'm too tired to care.
"Go to sleep, and I'll keep watch," Shay says, adjusting in her chair. "I promise to shoot anyone who messes with us. If I get sleepy enough, I might shoot someone who isn't messing with us."
I smile at her attempt at humor. Finally giving into my fatigue, I rest on the pullout bed next to Tallulah. The hospital is quiet, yet not like at home. I hear people talking outside in the hall and machines beeping in the room next door. Even without the real noises, my head is full of the chaos from earlier.
The more I relax, the louder the gunshots and screaming echo in my memories. Worse is how I hear my baby crying. Even telling myself she's sleeping and safe now, I can't stop replaying the bloodshed of the afternoon.
An hour passes while I struggle to sleep. My hip hurts, and I can't get comfortable. Nearly in tears, I cover myself with a second blanket and pretend the weight on my body is Pax.
Closing my eyes, I'm at home. My body doesn't throb with pain, but from Pax making love to me for hours. I'm warm and relaxed as we cuddle in bed. I imagine him pressed against my back while Tallulah rests in front of me. In my fantasy, Folgers snores in the corner. We're all together in our house, and nothing can harm us.
Only when the dream becomes real enough can I let go of today's horrors and finally embrace sleep.
49
Pax
Finger on the Trigger
Helicopters fly overhead, and I hear sirens blocks over. The night is alive with activity, so no one notices us arrive at the school. Ford and I only know Joker is inside. Based on the number of Harleys and cars parked behind the school, he isn't alone.
Joker texts to say he's on the second floor. Guns drawn, Ford and I enter the dark school. Even seeing no one until reaching the stairwell, I feel eyes on us.
A limping Taco meets us at the stairs. "Ginger's people have all the entries guarded. No one is getting in or out without us knowing."
We follow him upstairs where our people wait. Joker stands with his arms crossed. Across the hall is Madden. Not far away by the window, Ginger is texting on her phone. She gives me the once over when we approach then loses interest.
Joker takes us aside to talk. "After the mall shootings, Madden grabbed Ryder and brought him here. We used them as bait to get Trigger to the school. He came with a few of his loyal guys along with Sharpie who helped us ambush them. Now the old man is tied up in one of the classrooms."
"Where's Ryder?" Ford asks.
"Tied up in a different room. Madden still wants to let him live as long as Ryder leaves town. I don't know if it'll be that easy."
"If Madden can't pull the trigger on his brother, we will," I mutter.
Joker gives us his trademark grin. "Get in line. Ginger already volunteered."
Hearing her name, the blonde glances at us. Her expression is unreadable before she refocuses on her phone.
I glance around, wondering what the hell we're all waiting for. Joker must be a damn mind reader because he answers my question.
"I'm waiting for a call from Sharpie. He's supposed to take out Breaker, who is holed up in his house."
"Tell him to burn him out," I say.
"Breaker has his wife and kids in the house. I'm ready to kill anyone standing in our way, but those kids didn't do shit except have a dad who made the wrong call."
"Clears throat loudly," Ginger says, joining us. "Let me send my sniper to kill him. At this point, his kids aren't getting out of the situation without nightmares. We can help them get out with their lives."
Ginger looks at me and forces a smile. "See, I'm nice."
"Never had a doubt," I mumble, giving her a grin.