Beaches, Bungalows, and Burglaries~ A Camper and Criminals Cozy Mystery Series

“Heck no.” Abby rolled her eyes. “She likes to pretend to but look at her. She’s a sixty-year old widowed, Jazzercise instructor that spends every waking moment here at The Laundry Club when she’s not doing jazz hands or jazz square or whatever other jazz they’re doing in the undercroft of the Normal Baptist Church.”

“Free coffee and TV.” Queenie smiled. “Can’t beat it.” She eased herself up out of her chair. “Now, you look like you need a mama to take care of you while you’re here.”

I looked up at the TV and there was Paul’s big mug shot on one of those news programs. I turned away. There was no sense in looking at it. The media loved plastering his face on a daily basis when there wasn’t any more news to tell.

Queenie hit another button on the washing machine and opened the door. Abby had walked over a basket on wheels. Dottie started to take out my wet clothes.

“What do you mean while I’m here?” I asked while I watched them closely so I wouldn’t have to ask anyone again if I had to come back, but I was hoping to get the machines at the park fixed. Was I that transparent?

“From what Dottie told us,” Queenie started.

“I didn’t tell them nothin’.” Dottie snarled.

“Why you liar. You big liar. You called us up as soon as she pulled into her lot at the Happy Trails.” Queenie shook a finger at Dottie. Dottie’s face reddened. “Anyways, she said that you had some sort of brochure and something about fixin’ up the place to sell.”

“Like you’re better than us.” Abby offered a kind smile when I didn’t deserve it. “We understand. We don’t get many people that actually move to Normal. Soon we probably won’t even be a town.”

“I did hear that business was down in the shops.” Queenie nodded. “Poor Daniel Boone is probably rolling over in his grave.”

“I. . .” I stuttered for words, actually embarrassed by my actions.

“Don’t you worry that little head of yours.” Abby rolled her eyes. “Daniel Boone ain’t rolling over in his grave. He died before they named all the wooded land after him.”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. It’s just that the past few months of my life haven’t been the greatest for me and I’m not sure how to maneuver this new life of mine.”

“Don’t you worry. We’re all here for you no matter what you decide.” Abby gave another wink.

“Let me show you how to do laundry.” Queenie pulled a couple of quarters out of her fanny pack.

I stood there and watched as she fed the machine the quarters, then pushed all sorts of buttons while Dottie brought over detergent. I can’t say that I heard every word; all I could hear was the sound of my heart beating to the tune of joy. It was something I’d not felt in a long time.

“Let’s talk about Happy Trails.” Dottie had a puzzle piece in her hand and was leaned over the table where there were the beginnings of a puzzle. She patted a chair next to her. “Bring your coffee over here.”

Abby put her book down and walked over. Not long after that, Queenie came over. Before I knew it, we all had a puzzle piece in our hand, trying to fit them together.

“Get to the nitty gritty.” Queenie was a spitfire. I could only imagine what her Jazzercise class looked like. “What do you plan to do with the Happy Trails?”

“I’m not sure how much you know about my ex-husband, Paul.” I tried to fit the puzzle piece a couple of times in two different spots, but my hands were shaky, so I just put it back on the table with the other loose pieces and decided to just enjoy the coffee. “He did a lot of people wrong and that included me.”

“We watched it all right here on that TV.” Abby nodded. “If I remember, they were trying to pin it on you too.”

“Right. But he forged my signature on a lot of the documents and that was proven by a handwriting analysis.” I took a drink of coffee.

I wasn’t sure why I was opening up to these women; I’d not even opened up to my own family. Not that I’ve talked to them in years, but still. These women were complete strangers. Maybe that was why. They didn’t know anything about me and my real story could come out. Not what was in the tabloids and news.

“Go on.” Queenie patted a piece in place and grabbed another one.

“We’d been married a couple of years. I’m thirty and he’s sixty-one.” I looked to see their reaction.

All of their heads jerked up and they looked at each other.

“You’re a gold digger?” Queenie was apparently the type of person who just said what she wanted.

“No. I actually fell in love with him. He has that silver hair which I think is really foxy.” The memories of how we met flooded my mind. “He was a successful and single businessman. I was a flight attendant. He hired me to be his personal attendant on his plane. He didn’t have children and I actually signed a prenuptial agreement.”

“That was ignorant for such a smart girl. Well,” Queenie’s eyes drew up and down me. “You look smart anyways. They say looks can be deceiving.”

“Queenie,” Abby and Dottie scolded her.

“What?” Queenie’s lip curled up in the corner. “I call it as I see it.”

“I loved him. He was really kind, giving, and he took great care of me. Then one day the FBI showed up. I had no idea what was going on.” My throat suddenly dried and I drank the rest of my coffee. “He did a lot of people wrong. Left me bankrupt, homeless, and embarrassed.”

“You got the Happy Trails,” Dottie said as if it were a prize.

“A couple of days ago, I traded in my house and car keys for the camper. Our lawyer said that it’d be a new start for me. I’m not going to lie, the brochure he gave me made it look like paradise and I figured I’d take a little vacation here while I got my head screwed on right and then sell it.” I laughed through my nose. “I’m not a landlord and don’t even know how to do it. Someone else would be much better than me, especially now that I’ve seen it. I feel awful these people are living this way and I’ve just got to do something about it.”

“Like what?” Abby asked.

“I don’t know.” I swallowed hard, trying to manage a feeble answer. “Something like a fundraiser. We could clean up the lake and maybe get some of the shops to donate some things since it’ll help benefit everyone in Normal.” I thought of the flamingo keychain. “Something with flamingos and palm trees.”

“We could go to the party supply store.” Queenie nodded.

“The Happy Trails really just needs a quick clean up and I can make everyone clean the outsides of the campers,” Dottie made a good point. “When they are cleaned, it’s all shiny.”

“And we can all make something or get Betts Hager and the Bible thumpers to donate food and stuff,” Queenie’s voice rose an octave.

“Bible thumpers?” I asked.

“Don’t listen to Queenie. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Abby joked. “Betts Hager is the owner of The Laundry Club and she’s usually here, but today is her weekly Bible club meeting. She’s one of us. Actually, Betts does a lot of things around Normal.”

Hhmmm…I remembered Paul used to tell me how he made sure when he first started out in business that he rubbed elbows with the community’s major players. In the end, he was a crook, but it did make sense to figure out who knew everything in Normal so I could get the fixes on the park, sell it and get on with my new life. Not that I had something against Normal, Kentucky, it just wasn’t my home or even my life.

“She carries a Bible and might hit you with it, but yeah, she’s one of us,” Dottie followed up. “It’s the four of us together all the time. Her husband is the Normal Baptist Church preacher and she’s in a group of women who love to cook and participate in anything.”

Beep, beep. The rattle of an old school bus slowly passed by The Laundry Club. A young woman was hanging out one of the small slide down windows flailing her arms.

“Speak of the Bible thumpers,” Queenie said under her breath with a smile on her face and waving back.

“They travel in a bus?” I asked.

“In packs.” Queenie winked and nudged Dottie.

“Queenie , you’re going to scare Mae off and we don’t need that,” Dottie warned her. “Betts has to do all that church stuff. Today is the day they go witness to that cushy penitentiary in Lexington.”

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