The Knocked Up Plan

She grabs my hand. “What if he doesn’t? You have us, and Ruby, and an ice cream-balancing belly. You’ll be no worse off than you are now. And you have your baby.”

I do have so much in my life. Is it possible I might have more? I close my eyes and rewind to my last night with Ryder, to the way he touched me, how he held me, the way he worshipped me. Maybe it wasn’t only me, the mother of this child, that he was attracted to. Maybe it’s me, all of me, the woman and the mother-to-be.

I remember his words . . . the ones about me.

Missed you. Missed this.

It’s the only place I wanted to be.

Look at me.

Can I see you tonight?

I’ve changed. I now want someone in my life as more than a donor, so is it possible he’s changed, too? A stupid grin forms on my face. Could a girl be this lucky in real life?



Katherine’s opens at nine a.m. I’m here at three minutes before the hour. The second the doors swing in, I race to the counter where I bought the key chain many months ago. Alongside its gorgeous platinum rings and stunning necklaces, this classy store also carries a handful of little novelty key chains, like the tadpole. When I bought that one, I spotted the key chain I want now.

I squeal when I see it’s in stock—a woman in silver, like the sexy silhouettes of women’s bodies on the mud flaps of trucks. It’s classy kitsch, and I love it. It’s exactly what I want to say to Ryder.

I want you to have the woman, too.

A saleswoman strides up to me. “Can I help you?”

I bounce on my toes as I point. “I’ll take that.”

Twenty minutes later, I carry the box into work as my stomach tries to crawl up my esophagus.

Oh wait. That’s nerves. I’m a cauldron of churning emotions—hope and fear and happiness and doubt. But I’m going to do this anyway. I’m going to pursue the impossible dream, and there are tons of top five reasons why this might rank as the craziest thing I’ve ever done. But there’s one reason why this might be the best choice I’ve ever made.



* * *



Top Reason to Tell Him You Love Him



* * *



1. He’s the one.



* * *



I knock on his open office door, but he’s not in there. Then, I remember. Right. He’s probably recording right now. Damn my baby brain. But I don’t leave the box on his desk this time. He doesn’t like surprises, and this is something I need to do face-to-face. Clutching it tight in one hand, I’m heading to my office when my phone pings.

His name flashes on my screen, and my stomach dips.

My belly flips upside down as I open the message.



* * *



Ryder: Tune in to my show in five minutes.



* * *



They are the longest five minutes in the history of the world. Especially because at four minutes and thirty seconds, I have to pee.





Thirty-Nine





Ryder

“It’s the end of this episode on dating and mating, and before I sign off, I have something to say.”

Across from me, Jason gives a nod, a sign that he’s ready. I tug the mic closer as if I’m getting intimate with it.

I suppose intimacy is a fitting word. It’s the thing I’ve shunned. The thing I fear. The thing I want desperately.

“In the last several months, the show has changed. You might have noticed. Did you notice, Jason?”

“Absolutely. You’ve gotten funnier.”

I laugh. “Dude, I was always funny. Take that back.”

“Fine,” he says in mock indignation. “You’ve gone soft, then.”

I smile. “Some might call it soft. I like to think I’ve become less of an ass.”

I glance at my watch, hoping that a certain someone is listening. Hoping she’ll come stand outside the studio window any second.

Jason snaps his fingers. “Ah, yes. That’s another way to put it. You’ve had a jackass-ectomy.”

I shake my head in amusement. “And it was a painful process, man. Let me tell you. I went kicking and screaming most of the way. But then . . .”

He picks up the thread. “And then?”

I picture Nicole at the diner asking me to give her half the ingredients she needed, and it’s like a bulb glows in my chest. “A certain someone came into my life.”

Jason hums an impromptu romantic tune.

“Our listeners might recall the series we did on ten dates to winning a woman’s heart,” I say, sneaking a peek at the window once more. A co-worker walks past us on the other side of the glass, head bent over his phone. No sign of Nicole.

“Start with a trapeze, and you never know where it might lead,” Jason tosses out.

I glance at the window again. Where is she? “You might very well wind up where I am, several months later,” I say, keeping my voice cool and calm.

“And where is that, Ryder? Tell us where you are.”

She’s still not here, but I’ve got to jump off the cliff regardless.

“I’m in love,” I say, holding my arms out wide. “I’m madly in love with the woman I took on the trapeze. She turned my world upside down.”

Jason smiles, but he’s quiet now because the time for banter is over. It’s all soliloquy as I put my heart on the line, for everyone to hear.

“And I want to tell our listeners a little bit about how I fell in love with her.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of red. A curve of purple.

I turn the chair, moving the hanging mic with me, and I see her. Her cheeks are flushed, like she just ran down the hall. Now she’s staring into the window of the studio with a wild grin that tells me to keep going. She wants to hear what I have to say. Her earbuds are in her ears, her phone is in her hand, and the stage is mine, and mine alone.

I can do this. I can say this. The chance to be with her is worth the risk.

“Falling in love with her was different than falling in love with our baby,” I say, and Jason’s jaw comes unhinged, and he points to Nicole’s stomach and to me, the question in his eyes.

I nod a yes to him, but keep my eyes on her.

“Yes, that’s right. The woman I took on the dates with me is having a baby. She’s having our baby, and I couldn’t be happier about that”—I pause for a second, realizing I don’t need to go into detail about the timing—“development. With the baby, it was love at first heartbeat. As soon as I heard the galloping horses, I was done for. No holding back. That kid is mine, and I’d do anything for my baby.”

Nicole’s lips quiver, and I feel a starburst of emotions—love, happiness, excitement.

“But falling for the mother of my unborn child? I’m not going to lie. When you’ve had your heart eviscerated, it’s a little harder to love again. I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend it was something else, but I’m not some unaware fool who doesn’t know better.”