Which is locked.
My keychain is hanging on the hook, where it belongs. I grab for it; it slips out of my fingers, falls to the floor with a clinking sound.
“Jo! Please, you can’t just run out like this!”
I’ve got the key in my hand again, and there’s still time. I manage to get it in the lock on the first try, turn it once, twice, press down the handle. The cool evening air rushes to meet me.
Then, a jolt. I’m torn backward with a force that pulls me down to the floor. The next moment, the door slams shut again with a loud thud.
I jump up, try to get past him, if he hasn’t locked it again I still have a chance, but he grabs my arms so tightly that I scream.
“Do you really want everyone to see you like this?” he yells. “Are you trying to get yourself committed?”
I struggle against him, with all my strength, but I have no chance. So I go slack and just let myself fall.
He wasn’t expecting that. I make him lose his balance, he almost falls onto me. At the last moment he turns to the side, without letting go of my wrists.
Only now do I realize I’m crying.
He sees it too. He lays his forehead against mine, his breathing fitful. “You need help, Jo.”
He’s damn right about that. And as soon as he lets me go …
“Look at me,” he demands. His voice sounds like he’s close to tears himself.
I do what he asks. Our faces are so close now, for a moment I’m afraid he’s going to kiss me.
“Let me go.”
He shakes his head. “Erik,” he blurts out. “My name is Erik.” He waits, as though he really thinks his name will mean something to me.
“Erik,” I repeat obediently, then feel his grip loosen a little, as though the name was some kind of password.
I wrench my hands away, pull myself up, try to push him away from me, but the very next moment the man’s weight pushes me back down to the floor again. His breath is hot in my face.
“Don’t do that, Jo. I just want to help you. And I will.”
His last word is underlined by a loud ringing. The doorbell. Someone’s at the door.
4
I jump, startled. Never has the doorbell seemed as loud to me as it does in this moment. Joanna stops struggling almost immediately, I feel her grow motionless beneath me.
There’s a flash of hope in her eyes that someone who’ll help her is outside the door. My thoughts tumble through my mind. We’re not expecting anyone.
Crazily enough, I feel guilty, and what’s more, a twinge of panic. Like I really am a burglar or a madman.
I push the thought from my mind; it’s ridiculous, after all. But I don’t want anyone to see Joanna in this state. Could she have called the police?
“Please! Please help me!” Joanna’s mouth is just a few inches away from my ear. Her screams leave a high-pitched, painful ringing in my head.
“Be quiet, damn it,” I hiss at her and resist the impulse of putting my hand over her mouth. In the same moment, I realize I’m going to have to act quickly if I don’t want the situation to escalate. I turn onto my side and release Joanna. She jumps up and is at the door, tears it open, and leaps outside, all before I’ve even managed to fully get to my feet. “Thank goodness,” she gasps. “I’ve been assaulted; this man broke into my house.”
My heart is pounding in my throat. The open door is obstructing my view. I take two steps to the side, then find myself face-to-face with Bernhard Morbach. He looks at me, surprised. Joanna is cowering behind him.
Bernhard is a department manager at Gabor Energy Engineering. He’s never been to my house, but the laptop bag hanging from his shoulder suggests the reason for this first-ever visit. Why now, of all times? Today at work was strange enough, not that I could describe exactly why. And if tomorrow Bernhard starts telling everyone about what he’s witnessing here …
“Erik…” Bernhard, clearly confused, turns around to face Joanna, who’s pulling her bathrobe together at the collar. He looks her up and down, then looks over at me. “I don’t understand. What’s going on here?”
Joanna’s eyes widen as she hears my name. I can tell she’s confused, see her taking a step back, and I realize what’s going to happen next. I have no choice. As she turns to run, I’ve already taken a couple of strides past Bernhard. I fling my arm around Joanna’s upper body from behind. “Jo, please,” I hiss at her as she tries to free herself from my grip. “You have to come back inside.”
“No way! You’re conspiring together, the two of you. Let me go.” Joanna’s rib cage expands as she takes a deep breath, but I press my hand over her mouth before she can scream. I take a quick look around and note Bernhard’s incredulous expression, but now isn’t the time for long-winded explanations.
“Come on,” I pant, and drag Joanna, twisting and turning and kicking at me, back into the house, using all the strength I have. She tries to bite my hand, but I don’t let go.
Finally I make it into the hall. Bernhard, to my surprise, actually follows us into the house. I let Joanna go, rush to the door, and slam it shut. Moving quickly, I turn the key and remove it from the lock, while somewhere behind me another door is slammed shut with a dull thud. I slowly turn around and take a deep breath.
“She … she went in there,” Bernhard stutters, pointing toward the kitchen. “Can you tell me what’s going on? I mean … that is the Joanna you’ve told us about, isn’t it?”
I indicate to him that he needs to wait.
The kitchen is empty. Either Joanna ran into the living room or she’s hiding in the pantry. A few steps and I’m at the door. I reach for the handle. It’s locked. So Joanna, in all her confusion, went and hid in the only room on the ground floor that doesn’t have any windows.
I turn away from the door and walk back to Bernhard, who’s nervously pacing up and down the hall.
“She’s locked herself in the pantry,” I start to explain. “I don’t know what’s going on, but Jo’s all over the place. She doesn’t recognize me anymore, not since I got home tonight. I don’t want anyone to see her like this, so…” I hesitate, thinking that this attempt at an explanation must seem strange to Bernhard. He stands there and looks at me, perplexed.
I shake my head. “I’m sorry that this is how you’re getting to meet Jo. She’s not normally like this. I don’t get it either. You know she’s Australian, right, and she’s meant to be going back soon, but she doesn’t want to because we … And I really want her to stay as well. But if anyone sees her in this state, they’ll think she’s crazy. Then everything will get a lot more complicated, you see? That’s why I held … That’s why I don’t want her running around outside and screaming.”