“Good morning, Dan. Looks like you’ve got a full house today.” He was tall and sinewy, as darkly tanned as Sheldon with deep lines accentuating his face. He was wearing a hat that said, “No Thinkin’, Just Drinkin’.” Charming.
“Sure do,” he said. “If I get any rich-looking ones I’ll send ’em your way.”
I laughed.
“Got you a doozy here,” Dan said. “But she’ll be right purty when you get her all shined up.”
Sheldon only nodded.
“Am I safe to climb on?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Sheldon said. “She won’t bite ya.”
“I was more worried about falling through the deck.”
Sheldon said nothing but helped me climb aboard, so I could only assume that he felt safe. Inside, the carpet was mildewed, and the captain’s chair was missing. A thin layer of silt covered everything from the teak-and-stainless steering wheel to the berths where mattresses should have been. Everything in the galley had a singed look about it. I looked at Sheldon questioningly.
“Small kitchen fire,” he said.
I shook my head. “Poor girl.” Then added, “Who in his right mind would buy this thing?”
Sheldon grinned. “Nobody said he’s in his right mind.”
We both laughed.
“I’ll be back,” Sheldon said. “But you take your time.”
“What about the owner?” I asked. “Shouldn’t I get an idea of what he wants?”
Sheldon looked at me like I was dense and “girly parts” passed through my mind again. “Right,” I said. “He probably doesn’t care what it looks like. But he does probably care what it costs.”
Sheldon nodded. “Yup. I’ll see if I can round him up. Ain’t like there are too many places to hide in this town.” He laughed.
I took a moment to pull out my phone and call Emerson. “Mom!” she said breathlessly. “I have the best news!”
I’ve learned over the past couple decades or so, ever since Emerson became competent at speaking in full sentences, that sometimes her “best news” and my “best news” were different. So I took it in stride in case the news was that a new juice bar opened up right across the street from her.
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense, love bug!” I ran my hand across the shelf in the master stateroom. My hand was black. Yuck.
“I got the lead in a new TV movie. You’ll love it. It’s so Southern.”
I gasped. This was a dream come true for my Emmy. I knew that. I was, as I think mothers often are, ambivalent at best about her becoming famous. But it was what she wanted. And so, again, as mothers do, I reveled in her joy. “Emerson, no! That is amazing!” This was so much better than the juice bar opening I had anticipated.
“Mom, that’s not even the best part.”
I was crouching down, peeking into the kitchen cabinets hesitantly, afraid of what might potentially jump out at me. The teak had been immaculate. You could tell that. But they would all need to be replaced. “What’s the best part, sweetie?”
“We’re filming in Georgia. I’m coming home for like six months!”
“Wow!” I said, feeling excited but also a little nervous. I hadn’t had a child living with me in quite some time. “That’s great.”
“We’re all coming,” she said, and for a brief second, I had an image of the entire cast of her new movie bunking with me. Until she added, “Mom, it’s bad. Adam is getting deployed again and Caroline’s husband left her”—her voice broke—“for Edie Fitzgerald.”
“Oh my gosh,” I said. Even I knew who Edie Fitzgerald was. That was really saying something. “What happened? Is she OK? Is she getting divorced? Is Vivi OK—”
“Mom,” Emerson interrupted. “I don’t know any of that.”
“Right. Sorry. But all of you means all of my girls?”
My heart began to race. I was stressed and sad for Caroline, worried for Sloane, excited for Emerson. Everything.
“And the kids, too!”
“Amazing,” I said. “I need to go call Caroline, hon.”
“Yeah,” she said. “But she doesn’t want to talk about it, just so you know. She said she has to be tough until she gets home.”
I nodded, though Emerson couldn’t see. I stood up, not wanting to notice the creak in my knees as I did, and looked out the window to the glittering sea beyond.
“Okay, Em. Well, I love you. Let me know when you’re planning to arrive.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
Before I could even dial Caroline, my phone buzzed in my hand.
Caroline: You were right. That asshole James is going to be on TV with his supermodel girlfriend. Vivi wants to start school there this semester. We call the guesthouse. Don’t call me. I can’t talk about it until I get home.
Now I really felt like a heel for not answering Caroline’s call. Of course, all I wanted to do was talk to her. But I understood her point of view. When you call your mom, you fall apart. She couldn’t fall apart. My heart was breaking for her. And for Vivi. And the new baby. So many questions. I just needed to get her home.
And I didn’t hate James. I simply knew he was trouble from the start. But mothers don’t say “I told you so.” Well, at least the good ones. Instead, we bring our children home, soothe their wounds, and tell them how wonderful they are until they’re ready to go back into the world. And so that was what I would do. Gladly. But that didn’t keep a tiny feeling of uncertainty from creeping in. Things between Caroline and me could be great or not so great. I realized I had been holding my breath when I exhaled while reading the next message.
Caroline: At Barney’s. Bringing you a new wardrobe. And new antiaging skin-care line. When I saw you a few weeks ago, you looked . . . tired. And 50. Need to spruce up.
I shook my head. Oh, Caroline. I was actually fifty-eight, so I didn’t think looking fifty was such a bad thing. Caroline viewed my aging with disdain like older children viewed younger children’s youth and ridiculed them for it. It wasn’t something we could help, but it was distasteful nonetheless.
I laughed. No doubt about it. For better or worse, my simple life as I knew it was over. I didn’t care what she said. She was my daughter, and I was calling her. I felt like I needed to hear her voice.
I walked out onto the deck. The teak stain was peeling and damaged, but this part was salvageable. The sun was so bright it took my eyes a few minutes to adjust, and I couldn’t see the screen of my phone at all. As I was telling Siri, “Call Caroline,” I saw someone walking down the dock, toward the boat. I figured it must have been the owner. As he got closer I almost thought he looked like . . .
“Oh my God, Jack,” I said. The phone slipped out of my hand and fell to the deck with a crunch.
Because that’s what happens when your heart stops beating.
“Ansley?”
The blood was rushing to my face so fiercely I couldn’t hear anything but my own heartbeat in my ears. But it registered with me that he definitely wasn’t expecting to see me, either. Jack was as shocked as I was.