Maybe if she just went and told him the words he needed to hear, that would be a good compromise. Sure, she was disobeying Ben, but for a good cause…right? She was getting Jaxon the-mother-freakin’-grizzly-shifter Barns out of the territory. She was basically making up for turning on her crew in the fight. Really, she was saving them all by making him go. Or something.
But before she went, maybe she should put on some make-up and straighten her hair while she mulled over what she would say to Sexy Giant Jaxon…if she actually found the courage to do this. And maybe she should brush her teeth and smear on a second helping of deodorant to mask the scent of fur. And maybe put on cuter panties, too. Just in case.
Hmm, maybe she should call Samuel and ask him what she should do. No. This was her life now, her decision. Plus, she knew what Samuel would say, and she wanted to look at Jaxon’s McHotboy face. Beard. He had a great beard. It was one of those four-day, perfectly trimmed, beautiful-man beards that made her think pervy thoughts about what kind of scratchy sensation it would cause against her sensitive inner thighs. Since he was a grizzly shifter, he would probably be bitey in the bedroom. Oh my gosh, stop thinking about this.
That was it. There would be no changing into cuter panties because she needed the giant granny panties to keep her pants on. Because there was no way in hell she was going to expose her purple polka-dotted comfies to any man as sexy as Jaxon Barns. These comfy cottons were her chastity belt. They would keep her on track to say what she needed to say and keep his beautiful-man beard from tickling her inner thighs.
Feeling like goddamn Wonder Woman, she slathered on powder fresh deodorant like a boss, plumped her lips with colorless Chap Stick, and pulled her thick brunette hair back in a let’s-get-shit-done bun. She looked like a proud mess. Jaxon definitely wouldn’t get handsy with her like this.
And if anyone stopped her, she could just say, “Look, asshole, I’m going to save all our lives, so outta my way. I have hero shit to do.”
Emboldened with her terrible plan, she marched out of the cabin, looked around the empty clearing, waited a couple seconds to get caught, shrugged, and made her way to the tree line. At least She-Devil improved her night vision significantly. It wasn’t even that hard to find the rotted wooden fence in the dark, or the hole with the deer trail. Up, up she climbed the path until she couldn’t see the lights from the cabins behind her. Brush tripped her up time and time again, but she was determined, and the scratches on her bare legs where her shorts didn’t cover would heal soon. Another advantage to She-Devil. She might want to kill every living thing around her like a little hairy serial killer, but she healed fast.
Annalise smelled Jaxon way before she saw him. He was all dominance and fur and some sexpot cologne that probably got him into a lot of girls’ undies. The thought of him with other girls caused her to rattle off a snarl. When She-Devil made her imagine a pile of bodies, it reminded her of why she couldn’t have pretty things—like Jaxon.
His monster truck was parked at the top of the hill, and he was leaning against it, looking down at the ground, wearing a black T-shirt and dark jeans over scuffed work boots. His arms flexed where he had them crossed over his chest, and the inky tattoos along his forearms were dark against his pale skin. His hair was messier on top than it had been earlier, as if he’d been running his hands through it. A nervous habit maybe, but it made his hair look sexy in that just-woke-up way, the kind that said he didn’t care overly much about the way he looked or about being perfect.
When he noticed her, she expected his dark eyes to match the night around them, but she was surprised to find them lightened to a bright green. “You came,” he said low, pushing off his truck. Jaxon lifted his chin higher and let his fists fall to his sides. Tension rolled off him in waves, and Annalise stopped in her tracks as her inner animal growled out a warning.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said in that deep, gravelly, inhuman voice.
“Then why do you look and feel so different?”
“Because you said you got bit.” When a rumbling sound came from his chest, Jaxon shook his head hard. The sound stopped suddenly, but his eyes blazed an even brighter shade of green. It was like rain-bloated moss in the early morning. “I’m mad because someone hurt you. Who?”
Her mind skittered away from the night she became She-Devil, though. It was too hard to think about, too hard to dwell on. She’d worked very hard to block those memories completely, and he was scratching at the edge of them. She-Devil snarled and writhed inside of her.
Annalise bit her lip hard, fighting the Change her panther demanded. She dipped her gaze to his work boots. “There were times I wanted to tell you everything, but you seemed so anti-shifter, and I got scared. I didn’t tell anyone this happened to me. I know you’re mad, but I want you to know it wasn’t just you I hid from. I cut myself off from everyone in my old life.”
Jaxon ran his hand down his beard and took a careful step closer. “I wanted to tell you what I was, too.”
This was the game then—trust. He had just rewarded her honesty, and now she would reward him…by taking a step toward him. He kept his eyes trained on her sneakers as she did.
“I got on that dating site because I was so lonely I thought I would die of it,” she whispered, unable to hold his gaze.
Jaxon took another small step forward, and now only five yards separated them. He smelled so good.
He scratched the back of his neck and admitted, “I got on that dating site looking for a human companion.”
“Why?”
“You ain’t ready to talk about your bite, and I’ll never be ready to talk about why.”
“No step forward for that one, mister. You didn’t give me anything.”
“I’m a rogue,” he ground out.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I have no crew. I never pledged to one.”
“Ben said you’re a Gray Back.”
He made a single ticking sound behind his teeth and stared off into the woods. “Ben doesn’t know me. Nobody does. That was the crew I was born into. The alpha’s name is Creed. He’s good. There are beasts in that crew. Brawlers and trackers. A seer. I never pledged to it though. I’m a nomad. I wander, and then I go home, and a couple days later, I wander again. Nothing holds me. Nothing anchors me.”
“Did you get on that site to find an anchor?”
He dipped his chin once, blazing green eyes locked on hers.
Sadness washed through her. “And you found me instead.”
Another nod.
He’d earned the three steps she took toward him.
“Admission, I came up here determined to tell you to leave,” she whispered.
He took a step. “Admission, when I drove away today, I was determined not to come back.”
Step. “Admission, I’m really glad you did come back.”