He had it all. He had everything. He had her. And he treated it as though it were nothing. Like it was replaceable—a guarantee he could take for granted.
I didn’t realize I’d changed into the shirt and slacks until I was tying on the shoes. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do or how I was going to tell her the truth, but I was done letting my head take the lead on this. It had gotten me into this whole mess, so I was turning over what came next in my gut. This felt right, so I was going with it.
Dressing in my brother’s clothes, grabbing my brother’s honeymoon information, and heading down the hallway with his suitcase in hand toward his wife’s room felt right. It wouldn’t have felt right if I’d let my head continue to steer me, but fuck that. This felt right in my core, deep inside, and I was going with it.
Cora opened her door right as I came to a stop outside it. She’d changed into a strapless white summer dress, which managed to take my lungs out of commission in the same way her wedding gown had earlier.
“You look . . .” I fumbled for the right word, running my eyes over her the way I was prohibiting my hands from doing.
“Jacob Adams speechless?” She did a little spin, making the hem of her dress float into the air. “I never thought I’d live to see the day.”
My arm wound around her waist, incapable of heeding my warnings to look and not touch. I pulled her toward me until her body was fitted as tight against mine as I could get it. “I can’t breathe around you, Cora.” My forehead creased when her mouth parted. “Let alone form words.”
She stared at me for a moment, then her hand molded around the side of my neck. “Thank you.”
“For what?” My eyes dropped to her mouth. Control yourself. Although I supposed it was a little late for that.
“You promised me that you’d work on some things if we got married.” She bit her lip. “And you have. Thank you for that.”
My heart broke a little more right then. Because she was wrong. Jacob hadn’t changed any—or maybe he had, but for the worse. She’d always held this blind faith in my brother, and it had been for nothing. Because he’d betrayed her. Again, and again, and now on their wedding day.
She was waiting. And I was a fool.
So I kissed her forehead and dropped my head beside hers. “You deserve more than ten times the man I am. The least I can do is make a few improvements to this unfit one.” After holding her close for one more moment, I wrangled both of our suitcases into my hands and followed her down the stairs.
“Should we say good-bye to everyone first or . . .” Cora looked hesitantly out at the back lawn swarmed with people.
“Or let’s get out of here before anyone sees us.”
I’d already pulled the front door open and was waiting for her. Cora didn’t like crowds or big affairs. That had been one of our few common bonds growing up. So when Jacob would sneak off to whatever party was the biggest and best that weekend, we’d hang behind and order cheese pizza and watch movies until we both passed out on the couch.
She beamed as she rushed through the door, taking light steps so her heels wouldn’t make any noise in the marble foyer. The house I’d grown up in was closer to the size of a hotel than the average house, and maybe that was why it had never felt like home. Nowhere had ever really felt like home actually, not even the condo I’d been in for several years.
The driver who had escorted us from the church back to the house for the reception was waiting out front to take us to the airport. When he saw us rushing away from the house, he folded up his newspaper and reached for one of the suitcases in my hands.
“Little excited for the honeymoon?” He gave me a knowing look as I tucked Cora’s bag into the trunk beside mine.
I answered with a reserved smile because, yes, had Cora been my actual wife and I was the husband she’d planned on marrying today, I would have thrown her over my shoulder and left as soon as the cake had been cut. But she wasn’t my actual wife and I wasn’t the husband she’d planned on marrying today so what was there to look forward to? Because I couldn’t . . . we couldn’t . . . I couldn’t let her . . . without confessing . . . fuck, I was in such a bad spot.
After I slid into the seat beside her, the driver closed the door.
“Buckle up,” she said, already winding the belt around my lap.
A better man might have taken the belt from her and clicked it into place himself. I think I’d already proven that I was not that better man.
“We’re in a limousine. Don’t think we need to worry about buckling up.”
She blew out a breath after she’d snapped the buckle into place. “And limousines can still get in accidents. I’d like my husband in good working order for our honeymoon, please.” Her hand dropped to my stomach as her voice dropped. “I’ve got plans for him.”
My head was already drowning from her words and her touch, but when her hand moved lower, curling around my . . .
“Cora!” I jolted, sounding like a pubescent boy. A moment later, after I’d sort of regained my senses, I glanced at her to find her giving me an odd look. Like she was confused.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to . . .” Her head turned away, and she leaned back into her seat.
Tell her, Matt. Tell her now. Perfect segue.
“No, it’s fine.” It’s really fine. “You just surprised me. It’s been a long day, and I’m not feeling like myself.” I tried not to think too much on the irony of that sentence.
I found her hand and pulled it into my lap. More toward my knees than my package though, because damn, Cora’s touch was not something to underestimate. If she so much as brushed her hand around my general zipper region again, I would be in a predicament. An I-just-got-off-from-a-woman-barely-touching-me kind of predicament.
“Then make sure to get some rest on the flight.” When her eyes met mine, my stomach lurched. “It’s going to be a long night too.”
Saying nothing else, she dropped her head onto my shoulder, nudging at my arm until I got the hint. Folding my arm around her back, I drew her close, and I swore to god, if I could have just spent the rest of my life like that, I would have been a happy man.
She shifted against me, her expression hesitant. “Are you sure Matt’s okay? I feel awful that he got so sick today.”
I smiled into the dark limousine. She was thinking about me. She was with him but thinking about me. It made me wonder if that had ever happened before, and if so, how many times?
“Yeah, it was probably some bad sushi or something. You know how that guy is with his raw fish.”
Cora nodded against my shoulder. “He was okay when you guys went to bed last night, right? When you stayed at his place?”
There was just enough doubt in her voice for me to pick up on. She was questioning if Jacob had really stayed the night at my place. If he’d gone to bed like a good boy on the night of his wedding, or spent it partying like he tended to most Friday nights.