The Bryants’ backyard was full of people when we made our way through the gate, most of them engaged in animated conversations, laughing and talking like they’d known each other for years, which they likely had. There were mostly adults, a few teenagers, and lots of younger kids; many of the littler ones were already in the pool. I told myself that I was going to get into the deep end on my own, even if it killed me, just to prove to my dad that I wasn’t the scared little boy he kept making me out to be. Everyone told me how much I looked like him, only a skinnier version. I was five-foot-nine, and he was six-two; I ate like my entire body was hollow and needed to be constantly refilled, yet I remained scrawny, while my dad spent enough time fighting fires and lifting weights at the station house that he maintained an impressive physique.
As my parents shut the gate behind us, I scanned the crowd and saw Helen standing over by the tables of food, which were in the shade, beneath a covered part of the patio. As she moved things around to accommodate what everyone had brought, she looked up, saw us, and headed over. On the way, she grabbed the hand of a dark-haired girl who had been standing alone near the back door.
“You made it!” Helen said as she and the girl stood in front of us. They had the same hazel eyes and heart-shaped faces, so I assumed that this had to be Helen’s daughter. Helen’s cheeks were bright pink, and she waved her hand in front of her face as though it were a fan. “Whew! It’s a scorcher, isn’t it? Can I get you something to drink? A bucket of ice to pour over your head?” She laughed, speaking so quickly, she didn’t pause between sentences long enough to give us a chance to reply. She smiled and put her arm around the girl’s shoulders. “This is Amber. My husband, Tom, is hiding somewhere around here, too. Probably inside, in front of a fan.”
“Hi,” Amber said, holding a single hand up in greeting. Like her mother, she had round, soft edges, and they both wore summery dresses. I struggled to maintain eye contact with Amber, which was a particular challenge because her outfit was doing a pretty awesome job of showing off her cleavage.
“This is Liz and Jason Hicks, honey,” Helen said. “And their son, Tyler. Our new neighbors. I told you he’s starting at Sehome as a sophomore, right?”
“Yep,” Amber said as she gave me a slight roll of her eyes, which I interpreted as meaning “Parents are so annoying.”
“Hey,” I said, managing a smile.
“You’re such a pretty thing,” my mom said to Amber, and then turned to my dad. “Isn’t she pretty, Jason?”
“Very pretty,” my dad said, his eyes roving over Amber, and I saw a strange look flash across her mom’s face.
“Want something to drink?” Amber asked me, apparently oblivious to, or perhaps blatantly ignoring, what was being said by the adults. I nodded, following her to the big green Coleman ice chest that sat on the patio closer to the house. “There’s soda, iced tea, or water,” she said, grabbing a bottle of water for herself, and I grabbed a Coke.
We stood together in silence for a moment, watching the younger kids splashing in the pool, until Amber finally spoke. “Where’d you move from?”
“Seattle,” I said after I took a long swallow of soda. “My dad got transferred to a fire station up here.”
“He’s a fireman? That’s so cool. My dad just sells insurance.” She paused. “Well, actually, he owns the insurance company, but still. That’s nothing like saving people’s lives.”
“Yeah, I guess. He’s gone a lot. Like, twenty-four hours at a time. Sometimes more.”
“That sucks,” Amber said, screwing up her face. “What about your mom?”
“She’s a pharmacist, but she only works part-time, since my dad is gone so much. She doesn’t like to leave me alone. Which is stupid, because it’s not like I’m going to burn the house down or anything.”
Amber bobbed her head. “I know, right? My mom’s so protective. When I started kindergarten, she decided to get a job at the elementary school so she could have all the same vacations as me. She’s like a stalker, but a nice one who bakes me cookies and does my laundry.” She made another funny face, and I laughed. It usually took me a while to get comfortable talking with someone, especially a girl, but something about Amber made me feel like we’d known each other for years.
“Does she still work there?” I asked.
“Yep. She’s the secretary. She offered to try and get a job at my middle school, but I told her I’d kill her if she did. Of course, she still joined the freaking PTA.”
We went silent again for a minute, until this time, I found my voice. “Want to get something to eat?” I asked. Just looking at the tables overflowing with food made my stomach growl, even though I’d eaten a sandwich at home only an hour before.
Amber’s eyes followed mine, and then she quickly looked away, almost as though she’d been caught doing something wrong. “No, thanks,” she said, her voice at a higher pitch than it had been when she was talking about her mom. “You can, but I’m not really hungry.” She chugged from her water bottle until the entire contents were gone, then grabbed a red Solo cup from a stack of them on a table and filled it with ice from the green chest. “I like to chew on it like it’s popcorn,” she explained, holding up the cup, rattling its contents.
“Oh,” I said. “Okay.” It felt like kind of a random thing to tell me, but I didn’t comment on it because I wanted to keep talking with her.
“Hey, Tyler!” my dad yelled from across the yard, interrupting my train of thought. He stood next to the pool with a beer bottle in hand. “Time to bite the bullet!” His voice was full of mischief.
“What bullet?” Amber asked, tucking her long, dark hair behind one ear. “What’s he talking about?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled, setting my soda down on a table. I looked up and saw that my dad had put down his drink as well, and was now charging toward us with a determined look on his face. My stomach clenched, and the Coke I’d just sipped burned in the back of my throat. I glanced around and realized that everyone else was busy, even my mom, who was already sitting at a table with Helen, each holding a glass of white wine, heads together, looking like they were deep in conversation. I willed her to sense my eyes on her and then do something to intervene.
“Are you okay?” Amber asked, but before I could answer, my dad stood in front of me, his body only inches from my own, his hands on his hips. Amber took a step to the side, away from us, but didn’t leave, and before I knew what was happening, without a word, my dad scooped me up, cradling me like a baby.
“Dad, stop!” I screeched, my voice cracking on the words. I kicked my legs, trying to break free as he turned around and carried me toward the pool. “Please, don’t!” I begged, continuing to kick, but his arms were thick with ropy muscles; it was useless for me to protest. He held me over the water for a couple of seconds, locking his green eyes on mine. “This is for your own good, Son,” he said, and then he dropped me, fully dressed, in front of the entire party, into the deep end.
The world went silent as I plunged into the pool. Chlorinated water assaulted my eyes, then filled my mouth and ears, making them sting. Bubbles rose up as I coughed and choked, flailing and panicking the same way I had when the lily pad tendrils had wrapped themselves around my legs. When I bobbed to the surface, I opened my eyes, blinking fast, treading water as best I could, feeling like I might be sick. The muscles in my chin twitched, involuntarily pulling down the corners of my mouth. Don’t fucking cry. Keep your shit together.