At least I have off the night of the pajama party at the end of the month. I decide I could pretend that’s prom. I’m sure in some alternate universe people wear pajamas to elegant events.
One Friday night when I’m driving myself to Jiffy Burger, I realize it’s April 1. And yes, that means it’s only two weeks until the Atlantic Classic, but it’s an important date for another reason.
At the diner, I slide into the booth next to Hunter. Georgia sandwiches him in on his other side.
“It’s only two months until you leave!” I say, hugging him. “Waahhh.”
He puts an arm around my shoulder and the other around Georgia. “I promise to call you.”
“Do they even let you have cell phones at boot camp?” Georgia asks.
“They do, but you can only make calls if you’re being supervised.”
Levi arrives in time to say, “Guess that means no phone sex.”
“Shut up, man.”
Levi sits down on the other side of the booth away from the three of us. “I feel so left out,” he jokes. “Why am I sitting alone?”
Hunter chimes in, “We’ve staged an intervention. You need to stop whacking off all the time.”
“Ugh!” Georgia and I say.
Our usual waitress comes to take our order. I get up and move to my spot by Levi. I elbow his arm and smile at him sideways. One side of his mouth quirks up as we dive into our usual conversation.
Georgia and David are seeing each other now, so our Jiffy Burger chats aren’t only about Hunter and Shelby’s sexcapades.
Tonight I even have news of my own.
“Noah Thompson asked me to go to the pajama party with him,” I announce. Levi had been in the process of taking a bite of his cheeseburger when I say this. He pauses, then sets his burger on his plate.
“Eeep!” Georgia says. “What happened?”
I tell my friends how it went down earlier that day. Levi, who’s playing with his fries, never lifts his head during my story. Which is a pretty boring story as far as stories go. Noah walked up to me in the hallway. He smiled. He said, “Do you want to go to the pajama party with me?”
I had to think about it for a moment because he’s not the first person I would’ve chosen. But maybe I needed to consider other guys.
“Yeah,” I told Noah. “I’ll go.”
He grinned. “Awesome, I’ll pick you up at eight.”
I attend the party every year, but I’ve never taken a date. Some girls wear lacy negligees or short shorts, but I always wear long plaid pants and a T-shirt. I need something cuter to wear for Noah.
He’s a nice, cute guy but I don’t have much interest in kissing him or anything. I don’t know if that’s because I don’t want to kiss him, or I miss kissing Levi.
God, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t my heart listen to my mind? Levi and I are over. We were never together to begin with. He doesn’t want a girlfriend. If he did, he would’ve been willing to talk about us.
Today after I agreed to go to the pajama party, Noah took my hand in the hallway, and it felt like I was finally getting some of the high school experience. The real stuff, not the crazy shit on Hunter’s bucket list.
Levi doesn’t say much during dinner. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Is he upset because he hates Noah or sad because he misses me?
? ? ?
On the Saturday before the Atlanta Classic, which starts on Tuesday, Levi has an appointment for a massage.
He wanted to try acupuncture to treat his stiff ankle, but Coach Josh said no way, he’s not trying something new this close to a meet.
Georgia went to Knoxville for a full-day practice camp with the University of Tennessee cheerleading squad.
On top of that, there’s no Saturday afternoon swim practice because the team is tapering, so I decide to go watch Hunter’s baseball game against Fayetteville.
At the Hundred Oaks ballpark behind the school, I choose a seat in the stands. It’s a gorgeous sunny day, though gusty winds are making knots of my hair.
It feels a little awkward sitting here by myself. It’s starting to get real that my friends and I are going to be apart. Instead of Levi picking me up every morning, I’ll be walking to the pool. No more Friday night trips to Jiffy Burger with Georgia and Hunter and Levi except for when we’re on break from college. But I’m excited to work with one of the best college swimming coaches in the country. It’s exciting and sad all at once.
Right before the game is about to start, Shelby Goodwin appears at the bottom of the stands, peering up at the rows as if trying to decide where to sit. She sees me and heads my way. I don’t know how she does it, but she always manages to look cute, no matter the weather. Her blond hair is flat-ironed and doesn’t appear the least bit affected by the wind, and she’s wearing ripped jeans, dirty boots, a plaid shirt, and sunglasses. Her family owns a horse farm, so I imagine she spent the morning working out the horses.
“Can I sit with you?” she asks, and I nod.
Hundred Oaks is taking the field as she settles down beside me. The players run out to their positions as Hunter makes his way to the pitcher’s mound at his own pace. The game can’t start without him. He pounds his fist into his glove, breaking it in. Hunter gazes over at the stands, catching sight of us, and waves with a big smile on his face.
“He’s glad you’re here,” I tell her.
She nods somberly and looks away from me, picking at her thumbnail. “I know what you guys must think of me.”
“I worry my friend is going to get hurt, but he can make his own decisions. And you can do whatever you want with a guy you like.”
“I do like him… I might even more than like him, you know? But I’m a sophomore. I have two years left of high school, and he’s leaving for Colorado… You don’t know how bad I wish we were the same age.”
“I get that.”
“It just doesn’t seem realistic that we’d be happy so far apart from each other. And I want the next two years of high school to be awesome. My brother and his girlfriend can barely stand being apart long enough to go to class. I can’t imagine being happy when the guy I love is so far away…” Her voice chokes up a little.
To me, it seems like, for Shelby, having a good time in high school is more important than trying to have a long-distance relationship. And that’s okay. We only experience high school once. It’s up to her to decide how to spend it.
I always feel bad for Jason because he’s swimming his life away when he’d rather be doing something else. I can’t fault Shelby for taking care of herself—her wants and needs.
When I look back on this time of my life, I know I’ll be glad that swimming was the cornerstone, but also that I had great friends. I chose this life for myself. Shelby should be allowed to choose her life too, like Hunter’s made his own decision to go to the Air Force Academy. If he wants to continue spending time with Shelby on her terms, I can’t stop him.
“What’s happening with you and Levi?” Shelby asks as a player from Fayetteville steps up to the plate, tapping his bat against his cleats.
“We’re getting back to normal.”