I heard the sheets rustling, then Leric’s voice was stronger, and I knew he was facing me. “What I said before, about sex not making you his…I wasn’t lying, Caro.” He paused when I did in the middle of the room, keeping my back to him, but listening…since he sounded reasonable, him and me never talking about that day when he had lost it. His words were slow, deliberately calm as he continued, but he spoke through our bond for any eavesdropping ears. “From what I saw, it may never work, and not because of you. Deep inside you are a tender-hearted individual, and you will eventually forgive him for what he did to you, but he…that’s a lot of fucking hate, kitten, and it’s not because of what you’ve done, or who you are, but because of what you are.”
I swallowed heavily, and also spoke with the same form of communication. “What you may have missed in all that sex you saw, was the fact that even though I don’t hate him because of what he is, I truly do hate him because of who he is, not just what he did. He’s an unscrupulous, calculating bastard that has grown up cold and hard, making him into who, the man on the inside, he is today, which would be the complete opposite of me. Arguing which is worse on what to hate, who someone is or what someone is, is moot in my opinion, because they’re both equally important when two people despise each other with equally long honed hatred for those pieces of a person.” I sighed heavily, running a hand through my somewhat damp hair from my night terrors. “And yet, having said all that, I’ve found myself caring for him, and he for me…both equally a little.” I stayed silent after that, not glancing back, giving him a moment to process that news.
His voice was chilling when he spoke in my mind. “I should probably tell you, just as you will hunt Lissa down if she ever hurts me, I’ll do the same with him if he ever hurts you. And it won’t even matter if I do believe you’re making a mistake by continuing this. If you’re hurt by his actions, if he is ever malicious and deceitful to you again, he’ll be dead.”
I chuckled quietly, my own tone chilling. “If he ever did that to me again, his blood would be on my hands, not yours.”
He was quiet for a long moment behind me before he stated quietly through our bond, “Just be careful, kitten. What you’re entering with him…the outcome is murky at best.”
“I know.” And I did. I started moving toward the door again. “Good night, Leric.”
“Good night, my Chosen.”
Walking down the hallway, I passed the Guardians securing his door, and moved down to mine, a few doors down, and stopped, listening closely…and didn’t hear anything. I sighed heavily, closing my eyes for a moment, then knocked on the door, since I didn’t exactly have a key stuck in my pajamas somewhere. It opened instantly, King Zeller standing in his pajama bottoms, hair mussed, lips pinched, staring at me with an extremely pointed expression.
My brows puckered as I walked past him into the dark room, everyone in bed, quiet…except for glowing eyes greeting me from all, Brann and Cain shifted back to their natural forms. I stopped in place, my own eyes glowing a bit when King Zeller shut the door behind me, the room only lit from the moon through the balcony, and he moved to place his hand on my back, pushing me forward a bit, stating quietly, “You disappeared before we could wake you.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmured as we moved toward the beds. “I didn’t mean to wake everyone.” I blinked, then hurried to say, “Again.”
Elder Bridges pushed up on an elbow, stating casually, “Yes…well, maybe, you should have stayed in the One’s bed.” He held my gaze, yawning tiredly. “He did offer, did he not?”
Instantly, my heart rate crashed, plummeting as deeply as my stomach, only to shoot off like crazy, eternally grateful Leric had started speaking through our bond, knowing for certain now Elder Bridges would have heard our conversation, and I stuttered, “He did offer, b-but I wanted to come…back.” Instantly, peace transfused me, the gentlest of brushes from King Zeller’s guiding hand on my back, and I stated evenly, “Maybe I should get my own room, so I don’t wake you all in the future.”
Elder Farrar yawned loudly. “I believe everyone was just startled,” another yawn, and he rolled, fluffing his pillow, “when you screamed all of a sudden, shaking the room, then glowed bright enough to light the entire area, only to disappear a few moments later.”
I stopped dead, rubbing a hand over my face, and if I wasn’t still receiving the peace from King Zeller I knew I would have been mortified, feebleness unmistakably exposed.
Sin grumbled defensively, “Her nightmares aren’t usually that bad.” Emerald green eyes connected with mine. “You’re sleeping with me, love. Don’t even think about getting another room.”
Sounding exhausted, Elder Samson muttered, “You’re fine, Ms. Jules.” He waved a hand at the bed. “Just lie down so we can all go back to sleep.”
Cain grunted, watching me quietly with his head on his crooked arm, more than likely bare under the sheet tied around his waist. “Every single person in this room has a past that haunts them in some way. You’re no exception to this.” He flicked a finger to my bed. “Plus, now that I’ve seen it happen, I’m fairly sure I can wake you the next time before you disappear.”
Elder Bridges snorted, lying back down. “Speak for yourself, Elder Merrick. I sleep with a clear conscious every night.”
Cain chuckled quietly, not bothering to glance his way. “Do I even need to call bullshit, Elder Bridges?” When no response came, Cain flicked his finger again to the bed. “Get some sleep, Ms Jules.”
King Zeller gave me a light shove, his magical peace disappearing as his hand fell away, but I felt mildly calm as I walked on…only to stumble when suddenly King Zeller’s voice was directly in my ear, even though he was already tucking himself back into his bed, his words softly spoken. “Elder Merrick is not as calm as he appears. You frightened him when you disappeared, and then, it didn’t help when you didn’t show for another half hour, even though I tried to explain to everyone you were only sound asleep in the One’s bed.” A pause. “In other words, try to calm him before Elder Bridges picks up on it because everyone else’s emotion will wane as they fall asleep, and Elder Merrick’s are too heightened right now for Elder Bridges to miss.”
I kept my face as blank as I could during that spiel, and then made myself move again, crawling into bed, making sure I lay on the edge, Sin pulling in close to my back, wrapping his arms around me tight. I kissed his cheek lightly, affectionately, then turned my attention to the Shifter who was resituating himself on his trundle, unwrapping the blanket around his waist to let it lie normally over him, his gaze meeting mine finally…and even though my eyes had stopped glowing, his were still dimly shimmering between his hooded lids and thick lashes, both doing a stellar job of hiding whatever it was he was feeling right now, which I couldn’t even decipher, but I rested my hand out casually over the bed, keeping the sheet draped over it…and instantly felt his warm, long fingers threading through mine, gripping my hand tightly…and that was all the invitation I needed to keep him safe from Elder Bridges.