"I have a lot of time to think. I'm quite analytical, you know. I absorb a lot of information and have a photographic memory." He gestures at Xander's phone. "Like with the rune. I memorise everything I think will be important, and secret symbols top my list."
"I thought that was unusually impressive." Ewan crosses his arms. "Coincidental even."
"You all say I'm weird. I am. I know that. People have told me that my whole life, but at least my screwed up brain is useful." Seth mimics Ewan in crossing his arms.
"So, Seth, since you're knowledgeable about the situation, what would you do next if you were me?" asks Xander.
Seth bites back a smile. "I wouldn't want to be you, Xander."
"Hypothetically." Xander's face darkens and I tense. Is Seth pushing his luck here?
"I'd ask Syv for help finding this magic item. I'd try and arrange a meeting with Alasdair and find more about his link to these other gangs you keep mentioning." He points at me. "And I'd do everything you can to give Vee all your powers."
"That was my plan." Xander taps his fingers on the table. "I already called Syv."
"Oh?" I look to him.
"The next logical move."
"And you think she'll help? She didn't seem very cooperative," I reply.
"She'll help." Xander's voice is firm. "I'll tell her the stakes."
"Did you arrange to meet up with her?" Heath asks.
"Yep. This evening. La Fee Verte."
"Let me guess," puts in Seth. "That's where the fairies like to hang out."
Ewan's sour face lights up with amusement. "I would absolutely love to see you walk into that place and call one of them a fairy, and manage to walk out again uninjured. They hate it."
"But isn't she a demon?" asks Seth, ignoring Ewan. "You said the fae gang don't like the demon gang."
Joss tips his head. "They're not 'gangs', they’re races. And for someone who's hardly said anything, you seem to suddenly have a lot of opinions, Seth."
"You're the ones who said it was in my interests to stay with and help you. That's what I'm trying to do! If this means I can live my life again when everything is sorted, I will."
"So you're sticking around?" asks Heath.
"Yes. By choice this time. But this trust needs to be mutual. Ewan, could you return my laptop and phone please."
Ewan straightens in his seat and looks to the others. "Guys?"
"Can I say something?" I interrupt. "We need to lay this animosity between you and Seth to rest and cooperate more."
"Thank you, Vee." Seth's voice is low and he smiles in gratitude. "I appreciate that."
The following silence isn’t very encouraging.
"Are we all agreed we visit Syv tonight?" asks Heath.
"I suppose I need to go too?" Seth asks Xander. "Under your watchful eye."
Once over, Xander would've retorted, but the defeat surrounding him concerns me. He was upbeat about the possibilities ahead, but now his confusion is all I can pick up. I can't let him slide too. I need to speak to him.
5
EWAN
I once thought Vee consumed my thoughts and interfered with my ability to think straight, but that's nothing compared to what's happening now. She's in every dream, enters my head whenever I'm unfocused. Hell, she unfocused me. Each time I'm close, I want to talk to her, apologise, tell her how I feel. But that's the problem. I can't reconcile how I feel to what she wants. Am I being selfish? Is my refusal to give in to the need to unite, to cross the line and feel her beneath my body, my hands, losing herself with me inside her causing more than sexual frustration like none I've ever experienced?
I’ve fought my craving for Vee, and it’s grown into an intense hunger gnawing at the shackles I've put on myself.
Vee's hurt by me avoiding her, but what else can I do? Until I've figured this out in my head, until I believe that I won't fuck everything up, I have to. One touch, one moment alone together, and there's no way I'll keep control.
But something else rests inside. I want Vee to want me, to want Ewan, not to fulfill what she believes is some weird destiny. I don't know how she responds to the others; it's not something we talk about, beyond the fact her powers intensified. Does Vee look them in the eyes with affection, does she tell them how she feels, or is this only physical pleasure for her?
Hell, Vee' so much more than that to me, and I want her to know I love her, and for her to love me back. This screws with my head even further. Girls never affect me like this. Sure, most have been random hook-ups with no desire to go further, but not one girl ever triggered a need to be around them, to have their attention, the way Vee does.
I want to believe this is more. I need to believe this is human Vee wanting me. Am I fooling myself?
One thing: since our conversation, when I rode away sick to the stomach for hurting her, Joss says she hasn't spoken to him about losing her emotions again. Does she realise she doesn't want to? Or is it because she can't?
Is it because I can't finish the job and make us whole?
Mindfuck.
I sit in the kitchen, elbows on the table, head bowed with my fingers in my hair doing a bloody good impression of Heath. Xander and Heath went to meet up with Syv. Xander said to 'ask for her opinion' on what Portia's asked, but I know what that means. I don't want to be dragged into something else. Whatever happens, our names had better be kept clear too.
The fridge door opens and closes, but I don't look around, until I sense whoever is in the room doesn't move. I let go of my hair and twist my head.
Seth grips a bottle of water and watches me warily. He jerks backwards as I move. Does he think I'll smack him? Good. He needs to be kept on his toes, and worry what I'll do to him if he steps out of line. I don't care what Vee says, I trust him about as much as I do fae. He has some qualities in common with them: the evasiveness, the clever questions, the ability to turn conversations in the direction he wants. If the others paid more attention, they'd see this too.
What if the reason Seth was targeted has nothing to do with us? That he's hiding with us for another reason?
"Are you okay, Ewan? Did something happen? I don't know where Xander and Heath went."
Yeah, because we didn't tell you.
"I'm fine." I keep my voice gruff, with a warning look that he shouldn't pursue his questions.
"Can we call a truce?"
I blink at his words. "I thought we already had."
"I'd call it an uneasy stalemate."
"Call it what you want. I'm not on your back anymore, am I?"
"No, but you watch me. You don't trust me."
"Yep. Sorry." I push my chair back and stand.
"Why?"
"Reasons."
"Wow, Ewan. You're not very eloquent, are you?"
I stand over him. I'm not much taller, but my solid build eclipses his wiry frame. I've itched to get in Seth's face and ask him questions, but never found him alone. He'll be sorry he walked in and interfered in my day.
"I don't know who you are, or what your game is, but when I find out, you're fucked."
Seth's mouth parts and his cheeks redden. "My game is to help you. To find proof someone is killing people - and to find out why."
"Sure."
"What have I done, Ewan? I don't understand. I gave you all the information I have. No wonder Vee struggles!"