Where the Staircase Ends

I swallowed the lump that had grown in my throat.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said as the tears I’d held back for the past two days leaked down my cheeks. “It’s too late. People already believe it. Sunny wins, as usual.”

“No, she doesn’t,” he said, pulling me away from him so that I had to look at his face. “She ruined her friendship with you. That’s not winning. You can’t let her get to you, okay?” He pulled up the bottom of his T-shirt and used the corner to wipe the tears from my cheeks, exposing a stripe of tanned, taut skin. Normally the sight of his exposed stomach would send a shiver up my spine, but I was too numb to feel anything at all.

“Come on,” he said, giving my hand an encouraging tug. “I want you to hold your head high and smile, and when I say now, you let out the longest, loudest laugh you can manage, okay?”

I nodded meekly, too defeated to argue or ask what he was up to. He closed his hand around mine and pulled me along the hallway, leaning close to my ear as we walked, whispering, “Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon,” over and over again. It was the same thing Sunny used to do in junior high choir to make it look like she was singing the words to the songs even though she wasn’t. To everyone watching, it looked like Justin was telling me a hilarious story even though he was only repeating the nonsensical name of a fruit over and over again.

He pulled me to the right, weaving in and out of the bodies packing the main corridor on their way between classes.

“Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, now,” he whispered. I tipped my head back and laughed as loud as I could manage, which wasn’t hard because the whole thing felt so ridiculous it was funny. In that moment we passed by Sunny, Jenny, Amber, and the rest of my former crew, who watched with envious eyes as Justin and I held hands and laughed like we could give a rat’s ass what Sunny and the rest of the school said about me. And by that time I really was laughing, because the look on Sunny’s face was priceless. She hadn’t seen me with Justin yet. It was the perfect victory, and it must have pissed Sunny off royally to watch me walk down the hallway hand in hand with the guy she thought she won only a few nights before.

When history class came around, I slid into my seat wearing a triumphant grin and made it a point to look Sunny right in the eye. I tried not to think about how much it hurt to see the top of my desk empty of the normal notes and hangman puzzles. I tried not to think about the fact that there would never be another origami flower or paper crane waiting for me in class. Instead, I thought about the envious look she gave me and Justin when she saw us laughing together, hand in hand.

“What’s wrong, Sunny?” I whispered when I caught her glaring at me just before the bell rang. “Oh, that’s right. Justin doesn’t like you. He likes me. Apparently the only way you can get a guy to like you is to sleep with him.” I leaned in closer toward her desk so I could be sure she heard me. I wanted the words to swim out of my mouth and follow her around like a wake trailing a boat. I wanted them to hurt. “Maybe you can go to the spring formal with your dad.” I gave her the bitchiest smirk I could manage. Then I put my hand over my mouth, pretending the words had slipped out by accident before adding, “Oh, wait. He doesn’t like you either. Sorry.”

Her chair scraped against the floor when she stood up, grabbed her bag and stormed out of the classroom.




*




That Saturday it broke ninety degrees as an unusual spring heat wave swept across our suburb, a sure sign that we were in for a brutally hot summer. The sun beat down on the pavement so hard I could feel the heat boiling through the soles of my flip-flops. It was the kind of day I’d spend at Sunny’s house, splashing around her pool and sneaking beers from her father’s downstairs fridge. Jenny was probably there in my place, finally getting her chance to be Sunny’s best friend, the way she’d always wanted.

I only thought about it for a second as I left my house with my bathing suit peeking out from under my yellow sundress. No matter how much I missed her, I would not let thoughts of Sunny drag me down.

“Call if you’re going to be there any later than six,” my mom said as I left the house.

I showed her my phone as proof that I would call and waved goodbye. Popping my headphones into my ears, I scrolled through my iPod until I found a song with a beat that matched the rhythm of my steps.

On Friday, Justin had walked me home from school and stopped on my front porch to press his lips against mine. I wondered if I’d ever get used to the way it felt when he kissed me, or if I’d always get a nervous thrill when our lips touched.

“I was thinking,” he said as he pulled away from me. “Maybe we could hit up the dance next week?”

I wanted to hide my smile so I wouldn’t give away how happy I was, but it was impossible to do when I was around him. “Really? I thought you hated school dances.”

“Yeah, but you like them.” He reached his hand toward my face, the tips of his fingers tracing the edge of my jaw line. “And I like to see you happy. So do you wanna go with me?”

I nodded eagerly and threw my arms around his neck, fighting the urge to jump up and down and shriek with glee.

He laughed and kissed me one more time before he backed off the porch and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you tomorrow at my place, right?”

I nodded and watched him walk backward down the front walkway, his eyes holding mine until he finally had to turn around and break our gaze.

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