Chapter Seventeen
Abby stretched languidly and smiled as the sheet slid over her bare body. She shouldn’t have wasted the effort in making new nightgowns. She hadn’t gotten to wear them a single time yet.
Her eyes drifted open to bright sunlight, then widened. Had she slept all day? She glanced at the clock and almost gasped. It was eleven!
Throwing the sheet back, Abby slid out of the bed, looking down as a piece of paper drifted to the floor. She recognized Tate’s handwriting even before she picked it up.
Stay in bed all day if you want to, Princess. You deserve it.
She clutched the note to her chest, little bubbles of happiness bursting throughout her body. Princess. He’d called her Princess.
Walking on a cloud of air, she moved to the mirror and surveyed her nude form. How could she still look the same after a night like last night?
Tate had been like a man possessed. Time after time he’d used his hands and mouth to bring her screaming to ecstasy, until she was too weak to even plead for mercy. All she’d been able to do was cling to him helplessly as he forced her up each peak. She’d lost all track of time and even of location, had only a vague memory of grass beneath her and moonlight above.
It was almost as though he were trying to prove something, to both of them. She wasn’t sure what, but she knew one thing. By the time he finally plunged inside her, took her with an almost ferocious tenderness, she knew that she belonged to Tate McCullom heart and soul. If she lived to be a hundred, never would she love another man the way she did him.
Slowly, her happiness faded. “Oh, Tate,” she whispered. “What have you done to me? How can I stay here, loving you like this, knowing you don’t love me? It’s going to kill me being this close to you for another six months.” But where would she go if she left?
She folded the note carefully and slipped it in the drawer under her clothes before heading to the shower. When she was done, she pulled on a pair of denim cutoffs, noting that the shorts were getting harder to button. Well, she was coming up on three months now and she’d definitely noticed a new roundness to her abdomen. Another month and she’d have to do something about maternity clothes. Which would create yet another problem if she decided to leave. She tugged a tank top down over her head then ran a brush through her hair.
Barefoot, she padded downstairs and poured herself a glass of juice, wondering if Tate would be back for lunch. Before Abby finished half the glass a truck pulled up outside. Joe! She’d totally forgotten he was bringing the rose bushes today.
By the time she reached the porch he was unloading dozens of bushes from the back of his truck.
“Did you bring the entire flower bed?”
“Didn’t even make a dent in it.” He smiled at her. “Why don’t you show me where you want them? I’ve got the shovel in the back here, too.”
“You don’t have to do that, Joe. I can plant them.”
“And make me miss out on spending some time with a pretty lady? Not a chance.” He glanced around. “Where’s Tate today?”
Abby waved her hand vaguely toward the barn. “Probably working with the yearlings.” She showed him how she wanted the bushes spaced around the porch, then leaned back against the rail to watch.
He had the first two in the ground before he spoke again. “Why so glum today?”
She shook her head, forcing a tiny smile. “Do I look glum?”
“Well, let’s just say I’ve seen a happier expression on a coyote caught in a bear trap.”
“That bad, huh?” She sat down on the porch steps and rubbed her temples.
Joe propped his shovel against the house and sat down next to her. “Want to talk about it?”
Abby shook her head. “Talking won’t do much good.”
“Never know until you try. It might make you feel better.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to stay here.” As soon as the words were out, tears welled in her eyes.
“And you don’t want to leave.”
“No.” She brushed the moisture away from her eyes. “I’ve never had a real family until now. This place, everything, is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Then why would you go?”
Abby gazed out across the rolling acres. “Because he doesn’t love me,” she whispered. “I thought I could do it, Joe, but now I’m not so sure.”
“You’re in love with Tate.”
“Promise me you won’t tell him.” She took another swipe at her eyes. “I don’t want him feeling any guiltier than he already does. I’ve already ruined his life. He loves Diane. She’s the one he should be with, not me.”
The low curse word he issued startled her. For a moment, he was silent, then he seemed to come to a decision.
“Abby, I’ve known Tate longer than anyone else alive, so I’m gonna tell you a few things you might not know. Tate’s daddy was a wonderful man. He practically raised me after my own daddy died. But he had this big deal about responsibility. There wasn’t a day went by when he didn’t pound it into Tate’s head. With most kids it would have gone in one ear and out the other, but not with Tate. He thought every word his daddy spoke was gospel, so he took every bit of it to heart.”
He shifted around to face her. “Do you see what I’m saying, Abby? When every other boy in the county was out raising hell and sowing wild oats, Tate was right here on the ranch working like a full grown man. He started college when he was supposed to and, when everyone else on campus was killing themselves at keg parties, Tate was in his room studying. He finished in three years and was on the dean’s list every semester. He wanted to be a vet, something he’d dreamed about all his life, but when his mama died he quit school and came home to take over the ranch. Somebody had to do it. When Jenny died, Sean just about died with her. He didn’t do much of anything except sit around after that. So not only did Tate take on the ranch, he took on raising Buddy, too. Not one time in his whole life has Tate ever done anything that wasn’t expected of him. Until you.”
Abby’s smile was sad. “Are you saying I was his wild oats?”
“Hell, no. I’m saying that what happened between you and Tate just may be the only thing he’s ever done strictly for himself.”
“You’re wrong, Joe. He was so drunk that night he didn’t know what he was doing. I was just handy, and stupid enough to let him in. Even then, I loved him.”
“Think about it. Had you ever seen him drunk before that night?”
Slowly she shook her head.
“Well, listen up. I’m gonna tell you why he was. But first I’m gonna tell you about him and Diane.”
“I’m not sure you should tell me anything about them. That’s between her and Tate.”
“If you’re ever going to understand Tate, you have to hear it.” He leaned forward. “The first time Tate ever saw Diane we were in grade school. She was sitting on the front steps of the school, crying her eyes out because her daddy forgot to pick her up. Well, good old responsible Tate walked her home. From then on, she followed him around like a puppy dog and he didn’t have the heart to run her off. By the time we graduated from high school it was like they were joined at the hip. Tate never even looked at another woman and Diane ate up the attention, couldn’t get enough of it.”
“You’re not making me feel any better, Joe,” Abby mumbled.
“I’m not done yet. Have you ever watched two people who are really in love? They can’t keep their hands off each other. They spend every possible second together and they sure as hell don’t go out with anyone else. And if a woman did, any normal man who was in love would be ready to make a few heads roll.”
“So what’s your point?”
“My point, Abby, is that Tate was just as happy when Diane wasn’t around as he was when he was with her. He knew damn well she was going out with other men, but to look at him, you’d have thought he couldn’t care less. He didn’t break it off, he didn’t do anything. Every time she threw his ring back at him, he’d just stick it in his pocket and wait until she came running back. At least, that’s what usually happened. But that night he was with you, they had the biggest knock down, drag out argument you’ve ever seen in your life. And Tate started it. Good old responsible Tate. Not only did he start the fight, he was the one who broke their engagement that time. Now, why do you think he did that after all those years of putting up with her?”
This time, Abby’s smile was genuine. “I suspect you’re about to tell me.”
“Damn right, I am. He did it because some part of him, a part that he’d buried so deep he couldn’t see it any more, got scared. Diane was showing signs that she might actually marry him. Suddenly, that hidden part of Tate saw everything he really wanted slipping away from him. But he thought he had a responsibility to her and, being Tate, he couldn’t consciously let go of it. So he did the only thing he could do. He got drunk enough to let that other Tate out. And that one made a beeline straight to you.”
She stared at him. “Are you saying that Tate wanted to get me pregnant?”
“Not really. At least not consciously. But I am saying that hidden part of him was looking for a way out. Did he ever hesitate when he found out you were pregnant?” Joe shook his head. “I can tell you, he didn’t. He married you so fast that he didn’t even bother to tell his best friend about it. Why? In this day and age there are lots of other options besides marriage. And yet I’d be willing to bet Tate never even brought them up. You see, the only way he could honorably get rid of his responsibility to Diane was to have an even bigger one to you.”
“He used me?” Abby couldn’t keep the outrage from her voice. “As if I didn’t have enough problems of my own, he had to get me pregnant just so he’d have an excuse to break up with Diane?”
Joe grinned. “Calm down. Tate doesn’t have a clue as to why he did it and there wasn’t any way he could know for sure you’d get pregnant. As for using you, Abby, that bar was full of women, any one of whom would have loved to take Tate home. If he’d just wanted an excuse to be rid of Diane, any of them would have done the trick. But he didn’t go with any of those women. He waited until you got off work and then followed you. You were the one he wanted. The only one.”
Abby dropped her face onto her knees, rocking back and forth. “You’re crazy. Both of you are crazy. I’m surrounded by crazy people.”
Joe laughed. “You may be right about that, but I have to tell you, that show Tate put on yesterday was about the finest example of insane jealousy I’ve ever seen.” He tilted her head up and forced her to look at him. “Abby, he was never jealous of Diane, even when she was sleeping with half the men in town. I admit the boy is a little on the slow side about things like this, but right now he’s pretty confused. Give him a chance to work it out for himself before you think about leaving. You won’t be sorry, I promise.”
“How come you know all this stuff?”
Joe grinned and tweaked her nose. “I wouldn’t want this to get around, but I majored in psychology in college. I’ve had lots of time to analyze Tate. Don’t tell him, but I even used him as a case model for my thesis. Got an ‘A’ on it, too.”
They were still laughing when the fist connected with Joe’s jaw. His head snapped to the side and he flew through the air from the force of the impact, landing flat on his back in the yard.
Tate’s voice, tight with rage, came from right beside Abby. “Don’t you ever touch my wife again.”
“Ohmygod.” Abby leaped to her feet and spun. Tate towered over her, his hands still fisted, every muscle in his body tight with tension. All she could do was gape at him in surprise. He hadn’t come from around the house, so he must have come in the back door and moved through the house to the front porch. Had he heard everything Joe had told her? From the corner of her eye she saw Joe shake his head, one hand gingerly rubbing his jaw.
“Howdy to you too, Hoss. Mind telling me what this is all about?”
“You know damn well what it’s about, you son of a bitch.” Tate started down the steps, clearly intent on finishing what he’d started.
Abby threw herself in front of him, one hand on his chest. “Stop right there! He may know what it’s about, but I sure don’t. I want an explanation and I want it now!”
Tate stopped but his angry gaze never left Joe. “He’s in love with you, that’s what’s wrong.”
This time both Abby and Joe gaped at him. She turned to look at Joe, careful to stay in front of Tate. “Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?”
“Not a one.” Joe finally sat up.
“Are you denying you told me Friday night you were in love with Abby?” Tate started forward again, but Abby leaned back on him.
“Don’t you dare move another inch.” She glared at him over her shoulder.
“You’re damn right I’m denying it.” Joe stared at him. “I said no such thing.”
“You said you were jealous of me.”
Joe’s face went blank for all of two seconds. “And you thought that meant…” He sputtered to a halt, a choking noise coming from his mouth. Suddenly he fell over on the ground again.
“Joe?” Abby took a concerned step forward then stopped in disgust. He was laughing!
“Quick, Abby,” he howled. “Get me a pen and paper. I should be able to get my Ph.D. with this one.”
She threw her hands up in the air. “That’s it! I’ve had it with both of you. Don’t either one of you talk to me again until you’re ready to act like adults!” She marched up the steps and into the house, slamming the door behind her.
* * * * *
After ten minutes of pacing furiously up and down the bedroom, Abby was ready to scream with frustration. She plopped back onto the bed, laying spread-eagle, her mind going a hundred miles an hour.
In a weird kind of way, everything Joe had told her made sense. Especially since she’d gotten to know Tate a little better in the last few weeks. After that asinine display outside, she could no longer doubt that he was jealous. The question was why? There were so many “whys” that she got dizzy just thinking about them.
Why had Tate chosen her that night? And she knew now that he had, was only surprised that she hadn’t realized it before. He’d been waiting for her when she got off work that night, had insisted on taking her home. And because she’d already been in love with him, she’d said yes in spite of her reservations.
She hadn’t expected him to walk her to the door, but he had. And when she had thanked him for the ride and was about to leave him on the porch, she hadn’t expected his words. Abby closed her eyes, remembering.
His hand had curved around her nape so gently, his voice soft with yearning. “Let me come in, please. I’m tired of being alone.”
She hadn’t understood then what he’d meant. As far as she knew, he was never alone. But something about the way he’d said it sent shivers of sympathy over her. She knew what it was like to be alone, to need someone to care, even if only for a moment. And she loved him. That’s why she’d let him in.
Maybe he knew that on some level. Maybe that’s why he’d chosen her. Because she cared.
But that still didn’t explain his jealousy. She might think it was just sexual possessiveness if Joe hadn’t told her about Tate’s reaction to Diane’s infidelity. She scooted up in the bed and leaned against the headboard, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. If he hadn’t been jealous of the woman he loved, why on earth would he be jealous of one he didn’t?
Unless maybe he really hadn’t loved Diane. Could that possibly mean he cared about her? If he did, he was doing a fantastic job of hiding it, from her and himself. Was there a chance she could get him to realize it? Assuming it was true, of course.
She was so deep in thought she didn’t hear the footsteps coming up the stairs, didn’t know he was anywhere around until he knocked softly on the door.
“Abby? Can I come in?”
She eyed the door warily, but stayed silent, watching as the knob started to turn. Finally, he pushed the door all the way open, hesitating on the threshold like he was afraid to come in. Her gaze ran over him, checking for blood or bruises. There weren’t any. Just a small smear of dirt on the front of his T-shirt.
“Hi. I guess you’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” His hat was in his hands and he was turning it restlessly. When she still didn’t speak he took a step farther into the room. “I planted the rest of the rose bushes for you.”
Abby tilted her head. “And did you bury Joe under them?” The strangest little tingle of excitement was unfurling inside her.
The expression on Tate’s face became sheepish. “No. He went home.”
“Can’t say as I blame him. Are you going to explain to me exactly what’s going on here?”
He came the rest of the way into the room, closing the door behind him before moving to the side of the bed. “I told you. I thought he was in love with you.”
“And that’s why you slugged him? The only reason?”
“Yes.”
What she was about to say was going to be a risk, but it was one she had to take. She studied him intently. “Does this mean I can expect Clayton Caldwell to show up in the near future to make mincemeat of you?”
He stopped pacing and stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
She shrugged. “If all it takes to provoke an attack on someone is knowing that person is in love with your wife, then Clayton should be here any time now.”
“That’s different and it has nothing to do with this.”
“Why is it different, Tate? Could it be because you’re jealous? That’s what Joe thinks, anyway.”
“Joe is wrong.” He started pacing again. “I’ve never been the jealous type.”
“You hit Joe,” she pointed out.
“Damn it, Abby! He was touching you! You’re my wife.” His movements were becoming more agitated by the second. “Mine!” He poked himself in the chest. “You’re my woman and, if that makes you mad, I’m sorry. But it’s the truth and you’re just gonna have to learn to live with it. I’m not going to have every man in the county putting his hands on you. Do you understand me?”
Abby couldn’t stop the smile that curved up the corners of her lips. Could barely contain her laughter. “Yes, Tate. I understand perfectly.”
He came to a sudden halt at the meek tone of her voice, staring at her suspiciously. “Why are you smiling?”
Her smile turned into a full-fledged grin. “Because you’re jealous.”
“I am not jealous! I told you, I never get…” His words trailed off and suddenly he sank down on the side of the bed, his face buried in his hands. “Oh, God,” he groaned. “You’re right. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Every time Joe so much as looked at you I wanted to kill him. Then when I saw him actually touch you, I just lost control.”
For now, it was enough, Abby decided. More than enough. Certainly more than she’d ever dared dream about. It was time to stop pushing him.
She had his shirt off before he noticed what she was doing.
“Abby?” The look he gave her was full of uncertainty.
Abby smiled as she ran her hands over the hard muscles of his chest. “Lie down, Tate.” She pushed him backwards gently. This time, she decided, he was going to be the one begging for mercy.
An hour and a half later Tate reached weakly for his jeans.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Abby held on to him.
“To find Joe.”
“And apologize?”
“No. I figure if all this is because of one punch, I can’t wait to see happens when I beat the shit out of him.”
Abby pounced on him, pinning him to the bed while she laughed. “Drop those pants, cowboy. I’ve got plans for the rest of the day.”