I hesitated, taking the time to search his face. From the alarmed gleam in his eye, I could tell he knew what I was about to say. “You’re not over her, are you?” I asked him.
“Jackie, please don’t make me answer that question. I really, really care about you. I know I let my issues with Cole get between us, but—”
“Alex, wait,” I said, cutting him off. “I have a confession you need to hear as well.” It wasn’t just something that I needed to tell him, but also a truth that I had to acknowledge myself. “I know you heard Cole and me talking last night at the wedding, but there’s more to the story. When I first got here, I was so focused on proving that I was okay even though my family was gone. I had this messed-up perception in my head that I needed to be perfect, so my mother could be proud of me. Then I met Cole and I knew he was going to be trouble, unpredictable. He could’ve ruined everything I was working toward, but you were safe. I started dating you so I wouldn’t have to deal with him. I don’t know, maybe I’m still confused about my mom, but I know for sure that what I did to you was wrong.”
Alex sucked in a sharp breath. “Is this your way of saying you’re breaking up with me?”
“I—I think so.”
We were quiet for a long time.
Finally Alex said something. It wasn’t a protest or angry words, just a simple statement. “Jack and Jordan heard Danny and my mom talking last night. They said you’re leaving with him next week.”
Then I realized what he was asking. He wanted to know if I was running away from him. “I haven’t made a decision yet, but I never considered leaving because of what happened between us. It’s just that I miss home so much, but I don’t want to leave you all behind.”
“You promise it’s not because of me?” he asked, holding out his finger so I could pinkie swear.
“I promise.”
He nodded his head in understanding. “Well, then I think you should go.”
“What?”
At first I thought he was being bitter, but then Alex grabbed my hand and looked at me. “You need this, Jackie,” he said. His face was soft but insistent as he tried to convince me. “Go home. Sort everything out. Then, when you’re better, you can come back to us.”
Alex couldn’t have been more right. It was time to leave Colorado and face my past.
***
It was supposed to be Cole and Danny’s graduation party, but Cole was missing. George was cooking hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Katherine made three bowls of potato salad, and Nathan cut up a huge display of fresh fruit. There were a ton of kids from our school hanging out by the pool, mostly people who knew Cole, but a few drama club members had stopped by to congratulate Danny as well.
“Jackie?” Nathan called. “Do you know where Cole is? He’s got another check here.”
“I haven’t seen him in a while,” I said, taking the envelope out of his hand. Katherine had me keeping track of the gifts because she didn’t want any of the money disappearing. “I can go look for him if you want.”
“Sure, tell him he’s missing a good time.”
Inside the house, I slipped the card on top of the fridge where none of the little kids could get at it and then went in search of Cole. It didn’t take me long to find him since he was in the first spot I looked—his garage.
Normally, the doors were shut tight, even while he worked. Today, however, they were thrown open, letting the late-afternoon light paint the small room in a golden yellow.
“You know,” I said, stepping up to the car. “There’s a party going on out back. Lots of people are here to see you.”
Cole looked up from his work in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected someone to come looking for him. “Oh,” he said when he saw me. “Hi, Jackie.”
“Lose track of time?” I asked. Glancing around, I noticed that the workbench looked tidier than normal. Most of the tools and spare car parts were packed away in the shelving unit.
“No,” Cole said, slamming the hood of the car down into place. “I just wanted to finish installing this last part.”
“So it’s ready to run?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Something about the way he responded sounded sad, almost as if he didn’t want his car to be fixed. Sighing, he pulled a rag out of his pocket and wiped off his hands.
“Hey,” I said, moving toward him. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem like it.”
Looking down at the car, Cole took a deep breath. “It’s just, I don’t know what to do with myself now that I’m done restoring the car. I’ve been working on it for so long.”
In the moment of silence that passed between us, I heard laughter from the party. “You mean, since you broke your leg during a football game last year?” I asked then.
Cole’s head snapped up. “How do you—?”
“Nathan told me.”
He was quiet for a minute. “Did he say anything else?”