CHAPTER 31
It was late August. Julie opened another packet of sugar and poured it into her coffee. The café was quiet today, which was nice because it meant she’d be able to hear everything Celeste had to say without distraction.
Just as she had promised, she’d been meeting Celeste here every Monday afternoon since Julie had moved out of the Watkinses’ house. Sometimes Celeste walked here alone, and sometimes Roger or Erin came with her. Never Matt, though. Julie hadn’t responded to any of Matt’s e-mails except once when she asked him to please never be the person who came with Celeste. She wasn’t ready to see him. Maybe one day, maybe never. It had been three months since Julie had said good-bye to him on that bench by the river. He had stopped writing her last month.
Dana had been pushing her all summer to talk about Matt, but she just couldn’t. The last time Dana tried, Julie had nearly dumped a bowl of cereal on her head. After that, her roommate had the good sense not to bring him up.
The summer had been nice. Quiet, uneventful, and perhaps a little boring. Precisely what she had needed. Julie had been doing an internship at a small publishing house in Cambridge, a position that she figured would look good on her resume. And it had kept her distracted. Kate had come to visit for a long weekend in July, but Julie was surprisingly less homesick than she would have imagined.
“There she is!”
Julie looked up just as Celeste threw her arms around her neck in a hug. “Hey, kiddo! How was the Cape? I missed you last week.”
Celeste flopped into a chair and tossed her hair back. She had a light tan, and her hair had lightened even more in the summer sun. She was radiant.
“Hi, Julie.” Roger leaned in and gave Julie a kiss on the cheek. “Nice to see you.”
“You too.”
“Celeste has been dying to get together and tell you about her triumphant fishing expedition.”
Celeste beamed. “We all went deep-sea fishing, and I caught a sizeable bluefish. Even the captain was impressed. The beast put up a tireless fight, and Matt had to take over for me a few times. In the end, I successfully reeled in the clichéd catch of the day. I’ll show you pictures next time.”
“She really was amazing,” Roger said proudly. “The captain filleted the fish for us, and Erin cooked it for dinner.”
“Erin cooked?” Julie asked, shocked.
Roger laughed. “Amazing, isn’t it? My wife has become obsessed with cooking, and not a takeout carton has been seen in the past three weeks.”
“I’m speechless.”
“You’ll have to come for dinner one night. I can’t guarantee that the meal will be entirely edible, but it will be homemade.”
Julie nodded politely. She hadn’t been back to the house since she had left.
“I’m going to be in a recital in two weeks. Would you come? Rachel is playing the trumpet, and I’ll be playing the piano. As you can tell, it’s an unusual sort of duet, and Rachel is not particularly gifted when it comes to any musical instrument.” Celeste paused. “Most notably the trumpet. She makes up for lack of talent by a frequent use of exaggerated facial expressions when blowing into the mouthpiece.”
“Of course I’ll come to the recital,” Julie said. “I’m glad performing arts camp has been such a success.”
“Attending has compensated for having to be present at weekly individual and family therapy sessions. I find those challenging and draining.”
“I would think so.”
“As much as I loathe the experience, you can guess how Matty feels about therapy.” Celeste grinned.
Julie laughed. She knew exactly how much Matt must hate going.
“Didn’t you have something else to ask Julie?” Roger tousled Celeste’s hair.
“I do. Julie, this is serious.” Celeste reached into the small purse she had over her shoulder and pulled out an envelope that she set on the table. “This is an invitation. I’m having a going-away party for Flat Finn.”
Julie was stunned. She took the envelope from Celeste and opened it. The details of the party had been printed on expensive stock, and a small ribbon was tied at the top of the card. “Really?”
“Yes. I was inspired by the party that your mother threw for you when you left home, and this party is in the same spirit. Except that I want a brunch. Finn loved bagels and lox. The only guests will be you, Mom, Dad, and Matty. It’s a private party, for obvious reasons. It won’t be sad, though. The plan is for the day to be a celebration. Flat Finn served a crucial purpose, and it’s important to show our gratitude.”
“Where will Flat Finn go?” Julie had visions of Flat Finn being burned to ashes over the grill or hacked to bits with a carving knife. That would be dreadful. She had a fondness for the cutout brother, however dysfunctional and immobilizing he may have been.
“He’s just going up to the attic.” She shrugged. “Just in case. And maybe a time will come when I will find the entire Flat Finn experience amusing. I might want to show him to my grandchildren one day. Back when I was a highly disturbed child…You know. It might be entertaining.”
“Yes, it might.”
“So you’ll come, right?”
Julie couldn’t say no. “Absolutely. There is no way I would miss this.” She could face Matt for one day.
“Excellent. So next Saturday at eleven we will celebrate. Please note that it’s casual attire. Flat Finn wouldn’t want anyone in ball gowns or tuxedos.”
“Understood.”
Roger snapped his fingers. “Damn. And I was hoping to wear my lime-green suit and matching tie that day.”
Celeste groaned. “Mom would never allow that. She has impeccable taste. I’m going to go get us some drinks. Back momentarily.” She headed to the counter to order.
Julie looked at Roger. “I cannot believe that is the same girl I met almost a year ago. She seems incredibly happy.”
“She is. She’s doing well. There are hard days still, but she has surprised us all.”
Julie leaned forward. “Truthfully, I’m glad she hasn’t lost all her Celeste-ness. I like her unique personality.”
“I do too.” Roger fiddled with a sugar packet. “How are you, kid? You seem…subdued.”
“I’m fine. Just distracted, I guess. Busy. Gearing up to head back to school.”
“Uh-huh. If you say so.” Something caught his eye, and he reached his hand out. “Julie? Where did you get this? Is this Matthew’s?” He held the stone of her necklace in his hand.
“Oh.” She sat back, pulling it from his grasp, and clasped her hand to her chest.
As much as she couldn’t bear to think about Matt, she hadn’t been able to take off the necklace. It was part of her—her and Finn—and she wouldn’t feel like herself without it.
Roger squinted. “It is Matthew’s. Did he tell you what this is?”
Confused, she shook her head. She hadn’t really thought about where it had come from. Obviously not from Finn’s worldly travels, though. She assumed Matt had picked it up at a store nearby.
“Wow. I haven’t seen that in years. When Matt was a kid, rocks and minerals fascinated him. He was actively involved in the Boston Minerals Club.”
Of course he was. Julie felt that same twinge of wistfulness that hit her more than she liked to admit. She knew Matt so well that it hurt.
“I used to take him on weekend outings with the club,” Roger said. “We’d go on hikes in New Hampshire and Vermont. Once to the Berkshires. And the kids would dig and whatnot, looking for rocks. All little boys love that stuff, but Matthew in particular. He kept copious notes about his findings and made charts and graphs that he kept in a binder. Rock and mineral-wise, this is not a terribly exciting part of the country to live in. Nonetheless, Matt held out hope that he would find that special item. And God love him, he did.” Roger pointed to her necklace. “That’s a fragment of purpurite. Not the sexiest-sounding mineral, I guess, but Matt was over the moon when he collected this. He wouldn’t let anyone touch it, and he kept that thing in a locked display case for years.” He tipped his head to the side. “I can’t believe he parted with that. You mean something very special to him, Julie.”
She looked down and squeezed her hand around the necklace.
“Look, this is none of my business, and I don’t know exactly what happened this year, but I know something fell apart between you two. I’ve tried to talk to him about it…Well, you know Matt. He has a hard time opening up. I do know a bit about him posing as Finn online.” He held up his hand to stop Julie from interrupting him. “I agree. It was a seriously peculiar thing to do, and it wasn’t right. However ticked off you may be about that, I hope you can appreciate the lengths he went to in order to keep your attention.”
Julie looked up. “I guess.”
“Can you imagine how much time he spent doctoring all those pictures? Inventing new volunteer opportunities? And when he sent Celeste the package, the poor guy had to track down an old friend overseas, mail the package there, and have that person mail it back to the house so that it would have the right postage. Not to mention all the work it must have taken to keep his stories straight.” He smiled. “Come on, Julie. Effort has to count for something.”
“This has been hard on me,” she said. “I feel stupid saying that, considering what your family has been through, but—”
Roger stopped her. “You’re allowed to feel the way you do. Matt was an idiot. And maybe you have other reasons for holding back. Reasons that don’t have to do with Matthew.”
“I don’t know what to trust…whom to trust.”
Roger tipped his head to the side. “Look, Finn was good with all this girl stuff. He was cool and suave and…magnetic. He was absolutely magnetic. But Matthew is exceptional too, just in a different way. It must have been rough competing with Finn before, and now that Finn is gone, it’s probably even worse for him. You can’t beat out memories of the dead. Sweetheart, Matt is not the smoothest of young men, but his heart was in the right place.” Roger patted her hand. “Aw, Julie. Matt’s execution might have been disastrous, but don’t forget about his heart.”
Images from the past year flashed through Julie’s head: Matt picking her up in front of the nonapartment. Explaining font nerds. Reluctantly taking her to buy hinges for Flat Finn. Trading e-mails about possible snow sculptures. Lying under the tree. Arguing, bantering, defending his silly T-shirts. The hours spent hanging out in his room. She thought about how he had held her when she had come out of the freezing ocean. And that night after Celeste’s sleepover, touching her tenderly in his bed. How he looked when he finally poured his feelings out. The way it felt just to be near him. The way the world stopped when he kissed her.
And that’s when she knew. Julie looked at Roger and smiled. She felt whole for the first time in weeks.