Chapter Four
After they stuffed their baggage behind the seat, Ray tossed Eli the keys and told him to drive.
“Really?”
Well, what about that? She’d expected an argument, not a look of anticipation, as if getting behind the wheel of her battered truck appealed to him. “Yeah, really. You do know how to drive a stick, don’t you?”
“Learned when I was ten, as a matter of fact.”
“Ten?”
“Yeah. I was a . . . rambunctious kid.” He adjusted the seat to fit his longer legs, turned the key, and smiled at the low rumble of the engine. “Know what I think, Ray?”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to. But he didn’t wait for her to ask anyway.
“I think most of the wear and tear on your truck is camouflage, kind of like your blustering and bravado.”
That tore it. “Blustering and bravado?”
He put the truck in gear and drove out of the lot, shifting with practiced ease. “The truck looks bad, but it’s a real gem.” He flicked a look her way. “You can pretend to be cold and heartless, but you’re a sensitive woman.”
Being compared to her truck wasn’t the best compliment. In a flat voice, she said, “The windows are bulletproof and the frame is reinforced with body armor. It doesn’t matter how the truck looks, Eli. It’s a kick-ass machine, meant to get me safely where I’m going, not for joyriding.”
His big hands opened and closed on the steering wheel in a near caress. Mesmerized by that, Ray almost missed it when he murmured, “A fast, fun joyride wouldn’t hurt anything now, would it?”
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Was he talking about the damn truck, or her? It didn’t matter, not when her mind took the comment in the most explicit, sexual way possible. Damn it, how did he keep doing this to her? She wanted to put him in his place, she really did.
Only at the moment, she wasn’t sure where that might be.
She slouched in her seat, propped her feet on the dash and turned her face to stare out her window. She’d ignore him and his innuendoes.
The problem was, she knew he was looking at her. She could feel his gaze, moving over her, filling her with throbbing turbulence. Eli was not a man to be ignored, in any way, shape, or form.
“You’re awfully quiet, Ray. What’s the problem now?”
“I’m thinking.” She slanted him a look, her sense of injustice rising. “Maybe you should try it rather than indulging all this idle chitchat.”
“Getting on your nerves, am I?”
He didn’t sound the least contrite. “Yes, actually you are.” His hands were still now, and that allowed her gaze to zero in on something she could tackle without unsettling emotion. “I see you didn’t take the watch off like I told you to.”
“My watch stays.”
She was ready for a confrontation. “No, it doesn’t. If it’s noticed in Mataya, we’ll have our hands full getting out with your arm intact.”
Eli merely grinned at her. “I trust you to take care of me, Ray. That is what you promised Jane, remember?”
She resented having her own words thrown back at her. She resented more the fact that she’d had to promise Jane anything. “It looked to me like you needed some help getting rid of the lady.” And with a sneer: “Is she always that clingy?”
“Not usually, no.”
That wasn’t enough of an answer to suit her. “She hinted you two haven’t exactly been . . . close.”
Eli chuckled. “You mean sexually?”
The turbulence expanded, feeling almost like pain. “Yeah. So why her sudden change of heart?”
“Her heart wasn’t involved, Ray. Just her tactical mind.”
“What do you mean?”
Eli grimaced as if pained. “My grandfather is playing Cupid. He wants our two families to join, and evidently, given her recent performance, Jane is all for it.”
He couldn’t possibly mean . . . Skeptically, Ray asked, “A business alliance?”
Eli shook his head. “My grandfather is old-fashioned. He likes to keep it in the family.”
Her heart skipped two beats. “Meaning?”
“Marriage.”
She didn’t care, she didn’t care, she did not care. “Why the hell would she marry you if she didn’t love you?”
That had him laughing, but not for the reasons Ray thought. “You make marriage to me sound like a heinous fate worse than death.” His laugh was nice and deep. Real. “Our marriage would unite major competitors in the same industry. It’d be a match made in boardroom heaven.”
Because her privacy was so important to her, it amazed Ray that Eli didn’t seem to have an aversion to discussing his private affairs. “So you’re supposed to marry a woman for the sake of money?”
He frowned at her curt generalization. “That was the plan, I suppose, though I never agreed to it.”
Ray didn’t bother trying to hide her shock. “That’s disgusting. How much money do you people need, anyway?”
“I never said—”
Anger brought her feet off the dash to land on the floor with a thud. “Marriages of convenience went out a long time ago.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “The whole idea is pathetic.”
Eli absorbed her annoyance with a slow smile. “Are you willing to make me a better offer?”
Her arms fell to her sides. “Now what are you babbling about?”
“I haven’t fallen in love with anyone yet, including Jane, but I’m thirty-three. It’s time for me to settle down and start a family of my own.”
“Do wealthy people have a schedule for that sort of thing?”
“Not a schedule, no, but I do have a responsibility, especially to my grandfather to carry on the tradition of a family-run business. I can’t very well do that without more family.” He reached over and patted her knee. “Just think of the strong, independent kids we’d have.”
She shoved his hand away. “You aren’t the least bit funny, Eli.”
He laughed again and Ray thought about socking him. In the end, she decided that would only inconvenience her, since she’d be the one to have to take care of him afterward.
“What’s the matter, Ray? Don’t you want to supply me with a couple of small Connors to carry on the family name? I promise I’d be a good dad.”
Oh, she believed that. He’d probably be a wonderful dad. But the idea of her as a mother was utterly ludicrous. She didn’t think she’d ever held a baby, much less cared for one.
A little melancholy, Ray leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes, all but dismissing Eli. But she couldn’t refrain from one last parting shot. “It appears to me Jane is now more than anxious to give you as many heirs as you want.”
“Ray,” he chided in a more mellow tone, “you don’t need to concern yourself about Jane.”
She kept her eyes closed, refusing to look at him. “Which is your way of telling me to mind my own business? Hey, I can handle that. If you feel compelled to sell yourself for money, who am I to complain? It makes no difference to me.”
Eli sighed. “This is ridiculous. I never said I was going to marry her. I only said that my grandfather wanted me to.”
“And evidently so does Jane.”
“Maybe, not that it matters what she wants since I’m not going to marry her and that’s the end of it. So drop it.”
“Fine.”
“Great.”
She didn’t want to talk about marriage anyway.
“But,” Eli added, making her groan, “I am serious about wanting a family.” He waited a moment in silence, then asked, “Don’t you?”
Ray swiveled her head toward him, pretending boredom. “Do I what?”
“Want a family.” And then with a start, he said, “Or do you already have one? Damn, Ray, I don’t know anything about you. You’re not married, are you?”
Slouching farther into her seat, Ray grumbled, “I think this falls under the heading of personal information.”
Those expressive eyes of his lit up with exasperation. “Don’t give me that, not after the way you’ve been grilling me.” When she only shrugged, he appealed to her sense of fair play. “Come on, Ray. I answered your questions.”
“I didn’t twist your arm.”
“You twisted my thumb earlier. Almost the same thing.”
She shot him a baleful frown. But really, telling him wouldn’t make any difference, and maybe it’d get him off this subject and onto one that didn’t rattle her. “No, I’m not married, never have been. I’m thirty-one years old. I have an eighteen-year-old brother and two highly annoying, prissy female cousins who, thank God, live a fair distance away.”
Typically, he took what information she gave and picked for more. “What about your parents?”
She stared out the windshield. “They died when I was eighteen.”
“Both of them?”
With a nod, she said, “A stormy night, slick roads . . .” She flapped a hand, unable to say more. “My aunt took us in. I joined the service shortly after that.”
“That’s awfully young to be a soldier.”
Young, but also angry and eager to find her place in the world. It had been a life-altering decision, one she’d never allowed herself to regret. “A little over five years ago, my aunt got cancer and she died, too.”
Eli glanced at her briefly. “You recite that like a grocery list when I know it had to hurt like hell.”
Ray stared out the window at the passing scenery. Hurt? The death of her parents had damn near killed her, too. She’d felt broken and lost, but so much had changed since then, it now seemed as though it had been someone else who’d suffered that loss, who had tried to find a place for herself when there was no place available. She’d been a different woman then, a girl really, young and na?ve. It sometimes galled her to remember how small and afraid and weak she’d been.
She wouldn’t allow anyone or anything to ever make her feel like that again.
“What good would it do for me to mourn the past? I’m a realist. I deal with life, good or bad. Besides, if you learned from the hard times, if they made you a little wiser, more self-sufficient, well then, they weren’t all bad, were they?”
The gentleness of his tone nearly undid her when he whispered, “What could you have possibly learned from your parents’ deaths?”
More than she had ever wanted to know. “I learned that you shouldn’t depend on other people for the things you need.”
“Like love?”
She snorted. “Like food or shelter or protection. Even good people can suffer circumstances beyond their control so it’s best to be independent, to take care of yourself, and to need only what you can supply. My life wasn’t a tragedy, Eli, so don’t make it out as one.”
After that heartfelt outburst, Eli finished the drive to the airport in silence. But his brooding wore on her. She knew he was chewing over the conversation, applying maudlin sentiments even though she’d told him not to. Every so often, he looked at her, and like the first time she’d seen him, his eyes mirrored so much sentiment, it unnerved her. She chose not to look at him again, to ignore him. It was the only way she could concentrate on the job she had to do. She needed a mind-set, a detachment from other things to perform the job well.
Usually she could compartmentalize her thoughts, storing away those that might distract her, honing in on the pertinent considerations.
Her reaction to Eli was unexpected. She couldn’t detach herself from him no matter how she tried. He seemed to like that.
Ray did not.
Eli parked her truck in the long-term lot. Their timing was perfect, because there was only a fifteen-minute wait before the plane was ready to be boarded. Ray wasn’t surprised that Eli had booked them first-class but that didn’t mean she had to like it. Though it wasn’t her money, she still considered it a waste, especially when she realized how out of place they looked with their ordinary, worn street clothes and Eli sporting a day’s growth of beard. She was used to people staring at her, but now it disconcerted her. And with the take-off imminent, she didn’t need any more tension.
Leaning close to her ear, Eli suggested, “Ignore everyone, relax and enjoy the ride. Trust me, it won’t kill you.”
Ray drew a slow breath, prepared herself to look bored, and then peered up at him. “Actually, I was thinking of taking a nap. You’ll let me know when we land, won’t you?”
But instead of answering that question, Eli studied her. As usual, he saw too much. “Getting nervous ?”
She knew he referred to their jaunt into Mataya, which she wasn’t the least bit nervous about. The flight, however, was another matter. And the way he attended her every move with so much concern only added to her jitters.
“Of course not. I told you everything will be fine.”
“You seem tense,” he insisted.
The big airplane began taxiing down the runway, going faster and faster while her stomach clenched and her nerves unraveled. God, she hated flying. “I’m mentally preparing for what we’ll do and when we’ll do it.” Keeping her voice calm and even wasn’t easy. There was no spit in her mouth, no air in her lungs. “That way,” she gasped, tightening her hold on the chair arms, “everything will go like clockwork.”
Eli drew back, his gaze moving over her face, then her posture. Damn him, why didn’t he look out the window or read a magazine or something?
The plane lifted—and so did her stomach.
Without a word, Eli pried her right hand free from the armrest. His long, warm fingers curled around hers and his thumb began stroking her knuckles, gentle, easy. He drew her hand onto his hard thigh, faced forward, shifted his shoulders to get comfortable and sighed as if utterly relaxed.
Now that he wasn’t watching her, Ray squeezed her eyes shut, praying Eli wouldn’t notice. She couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing her like this.
Normally when on a flight, she could concentrate hard on other things: her brother, her dog, or the impossibility of a normal life. It helped her to overcome her unreasonable fear of flying. But this time, because Eli was with her, she couldn’t let down her guard. If she allowed herself to become melancholy, he’d notice. The man was far too astute for his own good.
Though sleep would surely elude her, she decided to pretend to doze off. It’d keep her fear masked and keep Eli from making small talk that she’d only be able to babble through. Even better, she wouldn’t have to see the fat, fluffy clouds now drifting past the small window, reminding her that they were well above the ground.
She concentrated on Eli’s breathing, deep and even and calm. She felt the warmth of his strong hand holding hers, his powerful thigh beneath her wrist.
She didn’t wake up until they landed.
The jarring motion of the wheels on the runway nearly sent her into a panic. Her heart shot into her throat, but her survival instincts were honed razor sharp, so she didn’t scream, didn’t even move. She shifted her eyes around to take in the seat in front of her, the aisle to her left. Still on the plane, she realized with little comfort, but she was now warm and cozy. Safe.
Beneath her cheek, she felt firm muscle along with the slow thud of a steady heartbeat. Eli no longer held her hand. Experimentally, she moved her fingers and found another firm muscle—that twitched and throbbed.
Good God.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that.
Everything came together. She was cuddled against Eli, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her back, supporting her neck and keeping her close. And her hand was in his lap, right over the zipper to his jeans.
The plane completed its landing without her notice. She was too busy praying that Eli had fallen asleep, too, despite the evidence of his arousal. But when she dared a peek up, she found him watching her, his eyes heated and tender at once. She went breathless, warm and trembling.
His hand came to her cheek, his thumb brushing her temple gently. “You must have been exhausted. Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
His words were whisper soft, his head bent toward her so their noses almost touched. Feeling his breath on her lips, Ray swallowed a groan from the unexpected need that suddenly crashed through her. She wanted to put her head back on his shoulder. She wanted to breathe in his scent, taste his warm throat, curl her fingers around the lengthening erection that grew beneath her palm.
Instead she tightened her jaw and straightened, then carefully shrugged away his arm. “No, I didn’t sleep well at all.” She rounded on him. “You and your girlfriend woke me up, remember? And I’d had a long drive the night before.”
The heat left his gaze, but the tenderness remained, tinged with amusement. “We’ll be off the plane in just a minute.”
It wouldn’t be soon enough to suit her, but she couldn’t let him know that. “So?”
“So it’s been a busy day with the shopping and packing. Breakfast was a long time ago and we’ve already missed lunch. You want to stop at a restaurant or go straight to the hotel?”
“We’ll eat.”
Eli smiled. “Now, how did I know you were going to say that?”
Few men ever dared to tease her—usually only Matt or her best friend, Buddy. Few men left her feeling awkward. She’d been on many jobs where she was the only female around, and it had never before mattered. The men were just people, not people of the opposite sex. With Eli, she saw him strictly as a man with a capital, throbbing M.
Maybe it was her age. Maybe her hormones were different now. If so, she’d ruthlessly beat them into submission because she wasn’t about to start acting like a silly female.
Yet, as they left the plane and traveled through the airport, she was keenly aware of Eli beside her—and not because she felt responsible for him. Damn it, she knew his scent, the heat of his body. When he took her arm, it no longer offended her. Instead, a small thrill jolted her senses. And when he smiled at her, she suffered the queerest melting sensation in her belly.
She hated it.
Never in her life had she suffered so much frustration. The loss of control was unacceptable.
They ate at a crowded fast food place in the airport. All through their meal, Ray pondered the situation. But for now, there was no way out. She’d just have to get her act together.
The ride to the hotel was accomplished in silence. Ray stared out her window at the hot sun. The sky was white, without a single cloud in sight to soften the glare. Mataya would be even hotter, steamy, too, and she wondered at Eli’s endurance. Would the change in weather drain him? Plenty of people had trouble bearing up under the sweltering temperatures. Some even became ill . . .
She realized she was fretting and stabbed Eli with a glare of fury. She never fretted, damn it, definitely not over an employer. But her indignation was wasted. Either Eli didn’t notice her volatile mood, or he ignored it.
The cab stopped in front of the hotel and Ray climbed out, struggling to moderate her thoughts. Heat rose from the pavement in waves, instantly turning her skin damp.
Seconds later, Eli stepped up beside her. He carried both their bags. When she reached for hers, he held it away.
“Eli . . .” she said through her teeth, ready, even anxious for a fight.
He disarmed her by smiling. “What’s the matter, Ray? You look like a thundercloud.”
She went mute. Damn but that smile felt like a lick in all the right places.
“Ray?”
Trying to think of a plausible reply other than being in estrus, Ray swung around and stormed to the hotel doors, holding them open for him since he wouldn’t relinquish her bag. Once inside the lobby, she didn’t have to worry about answering him. The small hotel was filled to overflowing with milling guests, making casual talk impossible.
“What the hell?” Eli asked no one in particular. He tried to catch a bustling bellhop but had no success. Finally, he led Ray to a sofa and dropped the luggage at her feet. “Watch the bags and I’ll check us in.”
Ray snagged the back of his shirt, regaining his attention. He raised a brow in query.
“You’re forgetting who’s the boss on this trip, Eli.”
“Oh? Did you want me to watch the bags so you can check us in? I don’t know if they’ll allow you to use my credit card, boss, but if you insist, then . . .”
She felt like a fool. “Check us in. I’ll wait here.”
“Now why didn’t I think of that?”
She considered dropping him to the floor, but he was already gone, trying to obtain the key cards to their rooms.
It was a good ten minutes before Eli returned and he looked entirely too disgruntled.
“Tell me there’s not a problem with our reservations.” She wanted a long hot shower and some quiet time alone.
“No problem. They’re just crowded from a convention.” Eli didn’t look at her, and in fact, he seemed so distracted she didn’t voice a single complaint when he hoisted both bags and herded Ray toward the elevator. When he saw the mob there, he changed his mind and turned to the stairs instead.
“Okay, I give,” she said to his back. “Why are you looking ready to do bodily harm?”
“This from the woman with an expression so dark she could scare grown men.”
“Are you afraid, Eli?” she taunted.
“No, but then I know you intend to protect me, not murder me in my sleep.” He stared down at her. “Isn’t that right?”
Undaunted, she said, “You admit you need my protection?”
“Of course.” Then he mused, “Funny that you’re the only one threatening me, huh?”
Oh, it’d be so easy to throw him right now, to land one well-placed hit to a tender muscle. He wouldn’t laugh at her then.
Her eyes narrowed in contemplation, and Eli leaned down close to her ear with a husky whisper. “Ray, I swear you look sexy as hell when you go into combat mode.”
Like a sail caught in the wind, she snapped straight. Sexy? She opened her mouth to blast him, but nothing came out.
Appalled at herself, Ray stormed ahead of him, taking the lead up the stairs. Eli gave her a room number for the seventh floor. Ray was in excellent shape, but still she was huffing by the time Eli finally stopped in front of a door.
He wasn’t even breathing hard.
She eyed him with distaste, shoved her bangs from her forehead, and propped her hands on her hips. After balancing both bags in one arm, Eli slid the door card into the slot.
Ray thought to ask, “Is this your room or mine?”
He didn’t answer. The door swung open and Ray was pleasantly surprised to see the room wasn’t ritzy at all. In fact, it was almost utilitarian with one full bed, a nightstand, and a dresser with a small television sitting on it. It was clean and neat, but not what she had expected after the first-class airfare.
“Well, you’ve managed to surprise me, Eli. But I thank you. The room is perfect.” She smiled.
He stepped inside with her and closed the door.
Ray’s smile slipped. “Did I misunderstand?”
He shook his head, but leaned on the door as if he fully intended to stay.
“Is this your room and not mine?”
Eli crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s your room.”
“Good, that’s what I thought.” It wasn’t necessary, but she added, “I couldn’t imagine you willingly staying in a room this plain. I figured you’d get a suite or something.”
As if she hadn’t spoken, he said, “It’s also my room.”
Her eyes widened and she examined the room again. The single bed and his earlier, outrageous compliment took on new meaning. Very slowly, she brought her accusatory gaze around to his. “Oh, I get it now,” she growled. He stared back without a single flinch. “One thing you ought to know, Eli.”
“What’s that, honey?”
“My protection only goes so far—and you’re really pushing it.”
Eli peeled himself away from the door, starting toward her with a measured stride. His eyes never left her face.
Rather than backing up with his advance, Ray widened her stance and faced him defiantly. Her preparation for battle only got her a look of appreciation, reminding her of what he’d said: he found her battle mode sexy.
And if she believed that, he could sell her a bridge.
He stopped right in front of her, forcing Ray to look up at him. Once again, she noted the differences in their sizes. She knew what she was capable of, and still he made her feel small and helpless.
“The hotel made a mistake, Ray. They gave away our rooms.”
Ray said nothing.
“They’re having a convention and someone fouled up the reservations. This was the only room available. I couldn’t imagine trying to find another hotel tonight, so I accepted. Under the circumstances, and considering you slept at my place last night, I didn’t think you’d mind.”
Of course he didn’t think she’d mind. Eli had no way of knowing her frustration. She’d never felt this level of sexual attraction before, so she didn’t know how to deal with it. And that scared her.
But short of explaining to him that he made her so hot she couldn’t stop thinking about jumping his bones, there was no way to refuse. Locking her jaw, she said, “You’re right. The room is fine.”
“You don’t look like it’s fine.” Eli scrutinized her. “You look ready to flay me alive. I think that’s exceptionally strange given how you strutted around in your underclothes just this morning.”
Much more of this and her teeth would be reduced to powder. “I do not strut.”
With a small smile, he said, “Yeah, you do.” His voice and his expression gentled. “What’s changed, Ray? You don’t trust me?”
Trust him? Ha. It was herself she couldn’t trust anymore.
Needing some physical distance, Ray walked around the bed, pretending to look things over. “I’ll admit it.” She summoned a credible laugh. “For a second there I thought you were getting ideas.”
Eli didn’t share her humor. “And if I was?”
She jerked around to face him from the other side of the bed. “Don’t.”
Briefly, he closed his eyes. “I would never force you, Ray.”
Of all the... “I wouldn’t let you!”
He smiled. “It’s just . . .” His gaze wandered from her face to her body and back again.
Against her better judgement, Ray whispered, “What?”
It seemed Eli wanted to say more, but then he shook his head. “Nothing.” After shoving his hands through his hair, he picked up their bags and set them on the bed. “It’s getting late. Why don’t you get ready for bed and I’ll ring the desk to make certain we get a wake-up call.”
So many strange emotions churned inside her. Disappointment, anticipation, and wariness. She didn’t know herself anymore and that was dangerous. Digging through her things, she located the hideous pajamas and did her best not to strut as she headed to the bathroom.
Her shower, consisting mostly of cold water for obvious reasons, only lasted a mere three minutes. It wasn’t long enough. God, she hadn’t been this jumpy on her first mission, back when she’d been a green kid.
It was stupid to hide in the bathroom, so she threw the door open and strode out.
He was already propped up in bed.
As if someone had suddenly stapled her feet to the floor, Ray stopped dead in her tracks.
He’d removed his shirt.
The sheet only came to his hips and the sight of his bare chest, muscled and enhanced with dark hair, was enough to unravel her. It just wasn’t fair.
On top of being funny and strong and accepting, why the hell did he have to look so good?