I made her cry.
Shit.
I really didn’t mean to do that. I had to get myself under control. All the anger and tension was wasted energy, and wasted energy was wasted water and nutrients. I closed my eyes and tried to take some slow, calming breaths, but it just didn’t help. If slow, calming breaths were of any use, I would have quit smoking.
“Holy fucking shit,” I grumbled as a thought hit me that probably saved her life and mine. I reached over and pulled open one of the pouches on my belt. Inside was a small plastic baggie with three cigarettes in it – the emergency stash. “Thank God.”
I pulled one of them out and then carefully sealed the other two back up in the plastic. The lighter in my belt pouch was too wet and wouldn’t work, but there were waterproof matches in the survival gear. I lit the smoke and leaned back against the inside wall of the raft, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply. I took five long, deep drags before I opened my eyes again. She was staring at me with those big, beautiful eyes again, and it was making my cock twitch.
Great – just what I needed.
She looked away from me and was rocking back and forth, all fidgety. Watching her rock back and forth brought images to my head of ways I could make her rock back and forth.
Smoking under survival circumstances was undoubtedly a bad idea, but I had to be able to get myself together enough to calm down and think straight, so it was better than doing nothing at this point.
I took another long drag and blew the smoke out over the water. I tried to savor it, knowing I only had two of the damn things left. I could cope without the smokes if I had a bottle of something, but not having either was going to seriously suck.
She was still wiggling around where she sat which was going to drive me over the edge.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped again. I hadn’t really meant to, I was just tense and pissy. The smoke was helping, but what I really wanted was a drink. I didn’t suppose anyone packed any of those little tiny airplane-sized booze bottles in the survival kits.
“I…um…” she stumbled over her words and looked away. Even under her tanned skin, I could see red creeping into her cheeks.
“What?” I was annoyed now. If she was going to complain about my smoking, I was going to lose it.
“I…have to go to the bathroom.”
I laughed. I took one last long drag, getting it all the way up to the filter before I tossed the butt out onto the waves.
“Then fucking go!”
“Where?”
“Didn’t you notice the en suite bath?” I laughed again and then took a smidgen of pity on her. “Over the side, where do you think?”
“Well…how?”
All right, she did have a point there. Or rather, she didn’t have a point. Or a pointer. I had to laugh again at my internal joke.
“Just…I don’t know…hang your ass out over the edge. Or get in the water. Whatever.”
“I’d have to take off my suit.”
“So?”
She blushed again.
“What? You want me to hang out in the next room for a few minutes? I promise I won’t gawk at you.”
She didn’t move. Well, actually, she was still fidgeting around; she just didn’t make a move to actually solve her dilemma. If she kept this up, she was going to pee in the fucking raft.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve already checked you out front and back, had my mouth on yours, and my hand on your tit, so it’s not like…”
She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. I realized how what I had said sounded, considering she had been unconscious the entire time. I shook my head.
“I didn’t mean…ah, fuck.” I grabbed my shirt and flopped down on my back, covering my whole face up with the garment. I lay there for a moment but didn’t hear her moving at all, so I yelled at her again. “Get on with it!”
She moved. I could hear her shuffle over to the front of the raft and then move around in one place, presumably taking off her shorts and her bathing suit.
“If you are going to get in the water, put the life preserver around your waist first and hold on to the fucking ladder. I don’t want to have to dive in after your ass again.”
“Okay,” she said. “Um…where is it?”
“Right outside the opening – on the left.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“Whatever.”
I listened to her move around a bit more and then felt her move closer to the opening and off to the side. There was a soft splash, and a minute later I heard her pulling herself back up onto the raft.
“There’s something similar to a towel over there,” I said, flinging my arm out in the direction of the back of the raft and waving my hand around. “Make sure you dry off the floor, too.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“Whatever.”
I listened to her move around some more, getting pretty fed up with just lying there, baking, with my fucking shirt over my head.
“Are you done yet?”