Rosemary and Rue

Picking up the first aid kit, I put an arm around Manuel’s shoulders and pulled him with me as we followed Sylvester out into the cleansing dark of the night outside.

Sylvester and his knights had come in three large white vans that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the parking lot of a dry cleaning service. Sylvester guided us to the middle van, taking the seat beside me. I flinched as I fastened my seat belt, trying to avoid putting pressure on my ribs. Then I closed my eyes, leaning back against the seat, and let myself relax. Sylvester could take care of things for a little while. That’s what liege lords—and friends—are for.

We were swarmed by anxious faces when we reached Shadowed Hills, with Luna and Connor at the head of the pack. Rayseline was nowhere to be seen. Sylvester commanded me into the hands of Jin, the knowe’s resident healer, and I went willingly, too exhausted to fight. She patched my ribs, shouted at me for reopening the wound in my shoulder, shouted at me more for failing to eat anything substantial for several days, and put me to bed with a stack of sandwiches and orders not to move without her permission. I was exhausted enough that I actually listened. Good thing, too; the sixteen hours I spent asleep in Shadowed Hills were the last moments of true relaxation I’d have for several weeks.

It took me a week to recover from everything that happened.When the magic-burn caught up with me after being delayed by Evening’s curse and my brief contact with the hope chest, it caught up hard. Jin nursed me through the worst of it, and when I could walk again, she handed me over to Mitch and Stacy, who were all too happy to take me. I stayed with them for ten days, while the kids exploited me for every bit of spoiling they could get, and Mitch made regular runs to my place to pacify the landlord. He made sure my carpet got replaced. I almost thanked him for that.

Sylvester took charge of Manuel and of organizing a wake for Dare. She had no family but Manuel; no one in the mortal world would mourn for her. We buried the body the night-haunts left in the Summerlands, in the forest outside the walls of the ducal knowe, and Sylvester stood beside me, and held me when I cried. I was her hero, and I failed her. In the end, I was just like everyone else.

I visit her grave as often as I can. I leave bouquets of rosemary and rue, and I tell her that I’m sorry, and I promise her that next time, I’ll do better. Next time someone makes me a hero, I’ll save them.

It took three weeks to clear Devin’s things out of Home. All the records he’d kept, all the things he’d stolen. Half his kids were never found; their things are in a storeroom at Shadowed Hills, waiting until their owners come to claim them. Somehow, I doubt that’s ever going to happen. I wish things had been different. I’d give almost anything to have Evening insult me one more time, or to see Dare looking at me with hero worship in her eyes. But sometimes the pieces fall together the way they want to, and you can’t change the story; all you can do is try to ride it out.

The last time we went Home, after everything worth saving had been removed, we went with torches, and with three fat salamanders in crystal jars. Sylvester put his hand on my shoulder, asking, “Are you sure you want to do this? I can, if you’d prefer.”

“It’s all right.” I took the lid off the first of the jars, shaking the salamander out onto the sidewalk. It sat there, blinking opalescent eyes in dull reptilian confusion, until Sylvester tossed a lit torch through the open door of Home. It turned, suddenly interested, and raced swiftly forward to pursue the flame. Its siblings followed close behind it.