I get what he’s saying. He may know my body inside and out, but he has no clue about my integrity. As far as he knows, I’m a crazy psycho that will stalk him now that I’ve gotten a taste of the Connover Love Machine.
Still, I’m really not ready to let this go. I like Matt… I really do. His confidence, his healthy ego, his fantastically amazing body. I want to get to know him better, and surely, the little issue that I’m his employee shouldn’t stand in the way. I’m sure there have been plenty of successful workplace romances in the history of the world. I mean, look at Cleopatra and Marc Antony.
“Matt… I would never hold something like that over your head, and you’ll have to trust me on that. I bet we could make this work. I’m sure once you got to know me better—”
Holding his hand up, he cuts me off. His tone is steely when he says, “See, that’s just it, McKayla. I don’t want to get to know you. This was a fuck… pure and simple. I’m not looking for anything more than that. But it’s out of my system now, and I’d appreciate it if we could just forget this happened.”
“Ouch,” I say, because that truly hurt.
“I think with my dick, McKayla… not with my heart. It serves me well.”
“Well, I have to say your dick is the most pleasant thing about you,” I say sweetly, but with a touch of sarcasm.
I’m rewarded with a narrowing of Matt’s eyes, and I can tell he’s not use to someone sticking up to him like that.
When it boils down to it, Matt and I have pure animal magnetism between us. We have sexual chemistry in spades, and our bodies make some beautiful magic together.
But that’s all it is. Both of us were only looking for one-night stands, not the love of our lives. And while many people can make the whole “friends with benefits” thing work fine for them, there is no way that could ever fly between an employer and his employee. Because even though sex is just sex, there is also intimacy involved, and that brings about certain emotions. Those emotions can then cloud your judgment, and I get that Matt can’t afford to have that happen.
Hell, I can’t really afford to let that happen. I need this job.
Straightening my shoulders and sticking my chin out, I walk back behind my desk and sit down. Bending over, I start to pick up the items that Matt swept to the floor not ten minutes ago. He watches me, but makes no move to help.
“I understand,” I tell him with resolve. “And you’re right. This has disaster written all over it. I’ll let it go.”
He stares at me for a moment, and I hold his gaze. I mean it… I’m letting it go.
Apparently, he’s satisfied with the truthfulness of my words. “I’m really sorry, McKayla.”
I give him a small smile. “Sure. Another place, another time, we’d have been perfect for each other, right?”
He returns the smile, but it is sad… hopeless. “Wrong. I don’t do relationships, and you deserve more than that. It would only ever be a fuck. In fact, I’ll be hitting up One Night Only soon.”
With that, he turns away and walks out of my office, closing the door softly behind him.
He’s an asshole. There is no doubt about that. But I have a feeling he’s a pathetically damaged asshole, and something has made him this way. That makes me feel sorry for him, even though his words cut pretty deep.
He may act like this is about nothing more than blowing a nut, but that is definitely where I catch him in a lie. There is more to him… I know it.
I know it because men that are just interested in banging out a quick orgasm don’t take their time to go down on a woman. They do that because they want the woman to feel exquisite pleasure. That takes a certain level of caring.
Matt may pretend he’s all hard-hearted, but there is something inside of him that glows warm.