CHAPTER 16
Danny
The arraignment hearing is over and it couldn't have gone any better. Reece pled not guilty but was denied bail. It was painful sitting in the same room as him. I couldn't not help but think about how close he came to destroying me. I shudder imagining it and Ryan squeezes my hand.
Ryan sure did a number on him. His nose is in a splint and the district attorney said he has to have surgery on it. The rest of his face is covered with cuts and bruises. I glance at Ryan and he is glaring daggers at Reece.
After Court, Ryan drops Paula and me back at my apartment. He has a class to go to and then hockey practice. I have a shift at the diner. We make plans for him to come over to my place tonight after I get off work.
The dinner rush finally slows down around 7:30 p.m. and I pour myself a glass of ice water. Sipping at it, I watch as the door to the diner opens and in walks Ryan's mom. There is a young girl with her that has the same dark hair and whiskey eyes as Ryan. It must be his sister, Emily. She wears the same scowl as her mother.
My heart starts a mad thump in my chest. She's looking straight at me and there's no doubt that she has come here to talk to me. I watch with trepidation as she walks up to the counter and inclines her head at me.
"Danny, would you be willing to talk to me?"
I nod my head, terrified of what she's going to say. I want nothing to do with this woman but I can't be sure she isn't here to try to patch things up with Ryan. And I would very much like them to make up.
I lead them over to a booth at the back of the diner. Celia doesn't bother to introduce me to his sister.
We sit down in the booth, Ryan's family on one side and me on the other. How apropos.
I look expectantly at Celia to say something. She doesn't mince any words. "It's no secret that I don't want Ryan seeing you. He clearly will not listen to me or see reason. So I need you to break things off with him."
Astounded, all I can do is stare at her. Does she think I'm just going to jump to do her bidding?
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Burnham, but you are sadly mistaken if you think I'm going to walk away from Ryan."
I watch as she leans over into her purse and pulls out a checkbook. She looks me straight in the eye and asks, "What is it going to cost me?"
Laughter bubbles up from my mouth and I can't hold it in. I know it's rude but I can't help it. This woman is trying to buy me off and the absurdity of it tickles me. She, on the other hand, doesn't see the humor and just waits for me to respond.
Finally, I remove the smile from my face and look at her solemnly. "There is no amount, Mrs. Burnham. I don't need or want your money."
She scoffs. "Nonsense. Everyone needs money."
I shake my head. “I don't. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
"Isn't it obvious, Mother?" Emily drawls.
My gaze snaps to her and I wait to see what she says.
"She's going to decline your money because she thinks Ryan is a bigger gravy train. She's in it for the long haul."
If I could reach across the table and throttle Ryan's sister, I would do it in a heartbeat. I remain calm though and stand up from the booth. I look down at them. "I'm sorry your trip here was wasted. Now I have to get back to work."
I turn to walk away but then Mrs. Burnham calls out softly. "Ryan is going to be ruined, you know?"
I'm not sure if this is a ploy but I turn my attention back to her. She merely points her finger at the seat I had just vacated and I sigh as I sit back down.
"I can make Ryan's criminal charges go away. My attorney has had contact with Mr. Malone's attorney, and we can offer him a very nice settlement in return for him dropping the charges against Ryan."
My eyebrows raise and now she has my complete attention. "That's wonderful," I say with excitement.
"Yes, I suppose it is," she says dryly. "But I'm not going to waste my money on this deal if Ryan is still with you. If you want me to bail Ryan out of this mess, you will break up with him and get out of his life for good."
My heart sinks to my stomach and turns into a lead weight. The solution to Ryan's criminal charges lie with this woman, and the price is steep. She wants me to give up the one thing in my life that represents a lifetime of love and happiness.
I try to call her bluff. "You wouldn't abandon Ryan like that."
She arches a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. "Wouldn't I? He's already turned his back on our family, why wouldn't I do the same thing?
I suck in my breath. How could the woman that birthed such a wonderful man as Ryan do this to him? Having had the most loving and wonderful mother in the world, it’s just beyond my comprehension.
I bite at my lip and glance out the window at the darkened street. It was only ten short days ago that Ryan walked into my life...right here in this very diner. And now, I am being asked to make a decision to give it all up. I've sadly come full circle.
Mrs. Burnham leans across the table. "Look...I can see you're a nice enough girl. But you could be his downfall. If he gets convicted, he can kiss a hockey career goodbye. Without my support in getting these charges dropped, Ryan could end up in prison. Do you want that to be on your head?"
My shoulders slump in defeat. What she is offering is the only sure way to get Ryan out of trouble. Trouble he would not have been in had he never even met me.
Celia leans forward and her look is coldly masterful. “Let me also make this clear. If you see Ryan or talk to him after the charges are dropped, I will personally see to it that he doesn’t get into the NHL. My husband has enough contacts that can kill any chances of him having this hockey career that he so very much desires.”
This woman is a monster but I do nothing more than give a small nod of my head in agreement to her demands.
"Excellent. I expect you to break things off with him immediately."
She stands from the booth and Emily crawls out behind her. I keep my eyes down on the Formica table until they leave. Then I let the tears flow.
***
Ryan is due at my apartment any minute and I'm trying to compose myself in a way that will make this breakup believable. I've asked Paula to make herself scarce tonight. She wants to know what is going on and I tell her I'll fill her in later. I'm sure her shoulders will be soggy by the time she gets me under control.
There's a knock at my door and my heart feels shredded already. I probably have less than five minutes left of having Ryan in my life. This is the same pain I felt when I lost my mother and I never thought I would feel this way again.
I open the door and Ryan steps in. He wraps his arms around me and buries his nose in my hair. I cling to him tightly for a moment and then step away. Staying in his arms any longer could be disastrous for what I need to do.
Ryan starts jabbering about practice but I'm only catching about every fourth word. I'm too preoccupied with how to launch into my speech.
"Are you okay, Danny? Have you heard a word I've said?"
He's looking at me with a soft smile on his face and his head is angled in curiosity.
"I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I said the school is letting me stay on the team until we have resolution on the criminal charges. Even better, the entire team voted to have me remain as Captain. They're really rallying around us."
He takes me in his arms again and kisses me. His enthusiasm is infectious and I let it sweep me away for a few minutes. I want to have more memories of him so I will take these kisses as payment for the evil job I’m getting ready to do.
My body is eagerly responding to Ryan and I know if I don't back away, we are going to end up in bed together. And I most certainly cannot let that happen. There's no way I'll survive a goodbye f*ck with the man I love.
I step back from Ryan and walk over to the couch.
"Ry...can we talk for a few minutes?"
I'm wringing my hands as I take a seat and the look on Ryan's face is cautious. He sits beside me and leans back, placing one arm on the back of the couch. I turn sideways so I can look him in the face.
I owe it to him to look him in the face when I break his heart.
Ryan skims my hair with gentle fingertips and tucks it behind my ear. I relish his touch. "What's wrong, baby? You're starting to worry me."
I reach out and grasp his hand and squeeze it tightly in mine. The tears pool in my eyes and I take a steadying breath.
"Ryan...I can't see you anymore." I look at him and I can tell he doesn't comprehend. "I can't be with you anymore. I want to break up."
Ryan pushes forward on the couch and frames my face with his hands so I'm focused on him. "Tell me this is a joke."
I shake my head, lowering my eyes. I can’t stand the sorrow on his face. "It's not."
"Why?" he demands.
I start crying in earnest. How do I say words that aren't true but are guaranteed to slice deeply into his heart?
"I can't handle any of this..." I say vaguely.
"You'll have to be more specific, Danny," he grits out.
Ryan's face is awash in anger and disbelief. My stomach is rolling and my head is pounding. He's going to make me irrevocably hurt him.
I stand up and straighten my spine. I dash my tears away and look at him with as much disgust as I can muster. "You bring too much misery and chaos to my life, Ryan. Your parents hate me. Your friends think I'm a whore.”
“But we’ve talked about this. We’re handling those things together. I don’t believe those things are driving you away from me.”
I have to make the final push so he believes me. My soul dies over my next words. “For God’s sake, Ryan...I almost got raped because of some pissing contest you had with your teammate. It’s your fault.”
Ryan’s face blanches and so much pain fills his eyes that I think I might vomit. He’s so wounded right now and I am the one that did this to him. My heart shrivels and dies. I’ll never be able to forgive myself.
Ryan looks down at the carpet, confusion on his face. Then he looks back up at me.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I didn't mean to cause you any pain."
Oh my God. I'm getting ready to lose it in front of him and I need him to leave before I break down and confess his mother's wicked plot. I reach on the other side of the couch and pull out my violin case. I walk to the door and open it. "Please leave, Ryan and don't contact me again."
I'm looking at the floor, trying to stop the flood of tears I can feel coming. Ryan walks up to me and I can feel him staring at me hard. I hold the case out. "Take the violin. I don't want it."
He doesn't say anything for a minute and I refuse to look at him. Finally, he says, "It was a gift to you, Danny. Throw it away if you don’t want it."
Then he steps out the door and out of my life.
I softly close the door behind him and then sink to the floor, weeping for the torment I caused him.