“What can I say? I know what my girl likes.”
“Let’s get you something to drink,” Porter said from behind me, taking Mel to the table filled with food and beverages.
For the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening the adults sat around laughing and talking, watching the children play. We opened presents, we grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, we even lit off a few fireworks we had saved from the Fourth of July. Porter and I helped Mattie open her presents and spent an hour reminding her to say ‘Thank You,’ which in the end sounded a lot like “Ank Ooo,” but it would do. We watched her tentatively eat her very first piece of cake, waiting for either her father or me to take it away, confused when we encouraged her to eat it. We took pictures, we laughed, and more than once I caught Porter watching me. His stares always made my blood boil with the heat of his love, but today I understood his gazes to be more than just appreciative and lust filled. Today he looked at me like he was thankful. I tried to return the meaningful looks whenever I caught him giving them to me, but made a few mental notes to properly thank him for everything important in my life later in the evening.
When it became obvious that Mattie had hit her limit of fun for one day, we changed her into her pajamas and kissed her goodnight, placing her in the car seat that had a permanent place in the back of my parent’s car. Their gift to us for her birthday was an evening alone. At first I was not happy with the idea of spending the night of her birthday away from her, but eventually I was convinced by my husband who told me stories of how she would never even remember us sending her away and would likely sleep the entire night away regardless of where she was. I couldn’t really argue with him about it and a whole night alone did sound fabulous. Eventually we both agreed and now watched as my parents drove away with my toddler in their car.
“I can’t believe she isn’t a baby anymore,” I whispered quietly, trying to wipe away the single tear that had managed to escape before I could stop it. Porter’s hands wrapped around my waist from behind and his chin rested on my shoulder.
“No, I guess she isn’t, is she? But she’s a beautiful and smart little one-year-old. She has to grow up, Ella. Think of all the fun experiences that are still in store for us.”
Perhaps dads just lacked the gene that made mother’s ache at the thought of their baby not being a baby anymore. No one ever warned me that birthdays were tough business for moms. I’d spent the day remembering her birth, thinking about the tiny baby that I had held in my arms just one year ago today, and comparing that image to the chubby, smiley, happy child that roamed around our yard all day. She’d eaten cake for goodness sake. She’d soon have her last bottle. Where did it stop? I needed a distraction from my sad yet happy thoughts so I moved to clear the food from the table.
Everyone stayed and helped clean up and then said their goodbyes, leaving Porter and I on the porch, waving to our friends as they left us to enjoy the rest of our evening. I leaned up against the railing, watching the taillights of our family and friends drift away when I felt him come up behind me, his arms caging me in, his mouth hot against my neck again.
“Want some cheesecake?” He rasped against me.
“Is that code for something?” I grinned.
“Nope. I really want some cheesecake.” He pushed away from me and walked back into the house. I rolled my eyes with a smile, but followed him into the house anyway. I noticed some of Mattie’s toys hadn’t quite made it back into the toy box and started picking them up absentmindedly.
“Babe, stop it. Don’t start cleaning. Why don’t you go upstairs and get in some comfy pajamas and I’ll bring up enough cheesecake for both of us?”
“Now that’s an offer I’ll take you up on,” I said, dropping the toys on the floor at my feet with a smile. “Bring some wine too.”
“What kind of a man brings his wife cheesecake with no wine?”
“Not my man,” I said with a laugh and walked towards the stairs. When I walked into the bedroom my eyes grew wide with shock and my hand came to my chest to hold in the breath I felt escaping from me.