“Well… let’s get a move on it. The plans should’ve been finalized weeks ago,” he said with a heavy sigh. I could tell he was guarding his words to hide his frustration. Normally it drove me nuts when Neil micromanaged me, but this time even I had to admit he had good reason. He had finally agreed to let me take the lead on a major project, and I had lost my focus. It was so unlike me. I normally got totally lost in my assignments. It was always so liberating. I loved putting my all into a worthy cause, and I had finally gotten the perfect opportunity to do just that.
“I need to have a full proposal with your chosen contractor by the end of the week,” he asserted. He was done being polite, and I knew I’d be in hot water if it wasn’t done on time.
“It will be ready, Mr. Yates. You know I wouldn’t let the kids down.”
“I know. I know. I’m just ready to get things started. Thanks for everything you do, Ms. Parker,” he said as he walked out of my office. My mind started reeling as reality set in. The project was my chance to make a real difference. I needed to stop acting like a foolish teenager and pull my shit together. I couldn’t afford to screw it up.
I knew firsthand how difficult being raised in the foster system could be. After my parents died when I was six, my older brother and I were put into foster care. Unfortunately, we were separated, and our foster families couldn’t have been more different. Tony was placed with a family that already included four other foster kids, and their backgrounds were nothing like ours. He was surrounded by troubled teens and rebellion during his most formative years. Sadly, it became difficult for us to keep in contact as the turmoil took its toll and engulfed his home life.
My foster life wasn’t filled with chaos and anarchy, though. Mine was… lonely. I was placed with a kind couple named Tom and Wendy who hadn’t been able to have children of their own. They were nice, but not nice enough to take on my brother. In the beginning, after relentless pleading, they let him visit on several occasions, giving me vague hopes we could be reunited. When that didn’t happen, I pulled away from their love. I didn’t want a new family. I had a family, and I wanted them back.
I wasn’t willing to just give up on being with my brother. He was too important to me. Through the years, I’d done everything in my power to keep in touch with him, but things changed and he started pulling away. He was always keeping secrets from me, and it worried me. I could see the angst in his eyes, but he wouldn’t talk about it. When I asked him why he was pushing me away, he told me it was for my own protection. I tried to understand why he was doing it, but it still hurt. There was nothing I could do to help him, but there was no way I was going to lose him completely. Even if I didn’t get to see him very often, I made sure to keep in touch through emails and phone calls, reminding him every chance I got that I would always be there for him.
Being without him, I retreated into myself and spent most of my time alone growing up. It wasn’t until I started visiting the local community center that I finally started coming out of my shell. I met some of the other foster kids in town, and we created our very own sanctuary there. We would meet to hang out and play basketball or talk through things if we were in a tough spot. It was a place where we felt safe. We didn’t feel judged or inadequate. We weren’t outsiders there. We belonged.
That community center helped me learn how to deal with my anger and pain and turn it into something positive. Watching the older kids mentor the younger children helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life. I’d been working with the foster care system for the past eight years, and I’d devoted my life to making things better for those kids. Ever since I could remember, I’d wanted to find a way to make a difference, and I thought building a Youth Center would be a great way to help. I knew how much the community center where I had grown up had affected me, and it was important to me to make sure that these local kids had that support, too.
The center had to provide a stimulating environment for kids of all ages. I knew it needed to have a wide range of programs, activities, camps, and special events for the kids throughout the year. They needed to have a place to feel safe and spend time with their friends. It had taken a lot of work and fundraising, but I’d finally gotten it approved. Our Downtown Youth Center would have classrooms, a fitness center, a large auditorium, and a gymnasium with basketball courts. We would be able to offer activities and classes for the kids and their foster parents. I’d worked hard to make this project a possibility, and I wanted it to be perfect.