“Give me a second. John Warren is still sleeping in the car. Let me get him,” I said as I reached for the car door.
“John Warren? He’s here with you? Is he okay?” Her voice was high pitched, almost breaking into a cry as she spoke. Her eyes widened with dismay as she watched me pull John Warren out of his car seat. The second I got him out, she raced over to me and took him from my arms. I instantly felt the loss of his touch, and fought the urge to take him back from her. The look on his face stopped me. His eyes lit up with excitement as he reached out to her, making me realize just how much he loved her… he was where he belonged.
“He’s here. I can’t believe he’s really here!” she cried, tears streaming down her face.
John Warren looked up at her and smiled. He reached for the collar of her shirt and squealed. Lily’s eyes danced with excitement as she looked at him. I took a deep breath, and began to feel a sense of relief. Lily loved him. There was no doubt in my mind that she would care for him like she was his own mother.
“I don’t understand. You have to tell me what’s going on, Maverick,” she pleaded.
“Let’s go inside and wait for Goliath.”
I reached into the backseat and grabbed John Warren’s bags, and Lily followed me through the front door. She cautiously watched as I set his bags on the floor. We were just sitting down on the sofa when I heard Goliath’s bike pull into the driveway. Lily jumped up and met him at the front door.
“Goliath….” she said stopping him at the front door. He looked down at John Warren in Lily’s arms, searching for any sign that something might be wrong. He finally looked over to me, noticing my broken arm and all the bruises that marked my body.
“Maverick, what the hell is going on?” Goliath asked as he stepped inside.
“I really don’t know where to start.”
“Start with what happened to you,” Lily said as she walked over to the sofa and sat down beside me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah… it’s nothing. I trusted the wrong person, and it cost me,” I said as I looked down to the floor, unable to look at her. The irony of it being her sister that I’d trusted was too much for me to bare.
“You gonna tell us why you’re here?” Goliath asked.
I laid my head in my hands, trying to search for the right words to say. After a few seconds of silence, I drug my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my nerves. I looked over to Lily and said, “I just can’t do it to him. I love him, Lily. I really do. I love him enough to know that he needs more than I can give him right now.” Overwhelmed with all the mixed emotions churning inside me, I stood up. My heart was racing, and I began pacing back and forth. I needed to make them understand. They needed to know why I had to do this. “I let Hailey down. I should’ve done more. Should’ve protected her, but I fucked up. I don’t deserve to have JW. I’ll just fuck it up.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself, Maverick. Hailey made those choices. Not you. No one blames you,” Lily told me, trying to calm me down.
“I do,” I stopped pacing, and looked directly at her. “I should’ve been there for Hailey. Instead, she sank into the darkness where no one could save her. I can’t let that happen to JW.”
“I don’t understand. What exactly are you saying?” she asked me.
“I came here to see… to ask if…” I swallowed my pride and my own broken heart and said, “I wanted to know if you and Goliath would take John Warren… raise him as your own. I want to be everything he needs, but I know I’m not. I can’t give him what you can.”
“But why now?” Lily asked, as she looked down at my son, her hand softly brushing over the top of his head.
“Lots of reasons. More than I care to explain. Let’s just say a baby doesn’t exactly fit in the life I’m living right now.” The thoughts of them beating me with that crow bar flashed through my mind, and I winced in remembrance of the pain they inflicted. It didn’t come close to the agony I was feeling at this moment, but it reassured me that I was making the right choice for him.
“Are you sure about this Maverick? You have to know that I want him, but I need you to be sure. I couldn’t take losing him again,” Lily said.
“He means the world to me. He’s the one truly good thing I’ve done with my life. I hate the thought of losing him, but I just can’t do this to him. He deserves more.”