Chapter 21
Hollis, Indiana. The town where I spent the last thirteen and a half years of my life in pure misery. To come back to this place caused me pain and anxiety. Ian rented a car and we drove to my aunt’s house. As we pulled onto the street, I started to get extremely nervous and my chest felt like it was tightening.
“It’s right here,” I said as I pointed to the white vinyl house on the right. The fall air was a lot cooler here than in Malibu.
Ian pulled up to curb and grabbed my hand. “You’re strong, Rory. This place made you strong, so there’s nothing here that can hurt you anymore.”
I smiled at him and we both got out of the car. I could see the look of disgust on Ian’s face as we walked towards the door. I lightly knocked and was shocked when I saw Shane open the door.
“Rory?”
“Hi, Shane.”
“It’s good to see you, girl. Get in here.” He smiled as he hugged me.
“Ian, this is Shane, my aunt’s drug dealer. Shane, this is Ian. He’s a friend.”
Against Ian’s better judgment, they shook hands. The house was a mess. Shit was lying around everywhere.
“Where’s Aunt Nancy?” I asked.
“She just ran to the store. She’ll be back soon. What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I came to put some closure on my past. My therapist said that I needed to. You know, the therapist I have to see because of the f*cked up life Nancy provided for me.”
Shane didn’t say anything as he walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. “You want one?” he asked Ian and me. We both said no. “Nancy told me that Stephen attacked you. Is that true?”
“Yes,” I said as I lifted up my shirt and showed him the scar. “He caught me off guard. Came at me from behind.”
“I’m sorry, Rory.”
“Yeah, me too, Shane. He’s in a psychiatric hospital, getting the help he needs.”
“That’s good. That’s real good. That boy needs it.”
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“I’m living here now. My house caught on fire about a month ago, and Nancy was kind enough to take me in.”
“Yeah, I bet she was. Let me guess; the house fire had something to do with you cooking up some crystal meth, didn’t it?”
“I suppose you could say that,” he sighed.
I walked to the room that Stephen and I shared. When I opened the door, everything was still exactly the way I left it. Ian walked in behind me and looked around. I was embarrassed to have brought him here and I shouldn’t have agreed to it.
“Is this where you slept?” he asked as he pointed to the mattress on the floor.
“Yeah,” I said as I turned around and walked out.
I looked out the kitchen window at the barn that sat in the back. The place I would go to and escape.
“You were always a good kid, Rory,” Shane said as he walked up behind me. “Is that your boyfriend?” he asked.
“No, he’s just a friend. He saved my life.”
“Have you been practicing those moves I’ve taught you?”
“She sure has,” Ian spoke.
The door opened and Nancy stopped when she saw me. “Rory, what are you doing here?” she asked nervously.
For the first time in my life, I wasn’t afraid of her anymore. “I’m here to put closure on my past. You know; the one you f*cked up,” I spat.
“Stephen’s not here, is he?”
Shane walked over, took the bags from her hands, and set them on the table as she walked inside.
“No, Stephen’s not here. He’s locked away in a psychiatric hospital in California.”
“Good, that’s where he should be,” she said.
My emotions were running rampant and the hate that I thought I had buried came rushing back to me as I looked at her.
“Who’s this?” she asked as she pointed to Ian.
“This is Ian. Ian, this is my Aunt Nancy.”
The two of them said hello and Nancy walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. That was all the house reeked of: stale beer and cigarettes. It was a smell that I would never forget.
“I know damn well you didn’t come here to say hi. So, say what’s on your mind and then you can get going.”
I couldn’t say anything to her. I just stood there and stared at her, shaking my head. “I hope you rot in hell. Come on, Ian; let’s go,” I said as I walked to the door.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
I stopped as soon as she said that. Nancy had never been sorry about anything in her life. I turned around and glared at her. “You’re sorry? Sorry for what?” I asked as I slowly approached her. “Sorry for ruining mine and Stephen’s lives? Sorry for not being there for us and letting us raise ourselves? Sorry for never celebrating our birthdays, Christmas, or any other holiday that all the other families celebrated? Sorry for what!” I screamed.
At that point, I was shaking and Ian walked over and clasped my shoulders. She looked at me with those stone cold eyes. The eyes that had the same look in them every single day. She wouldn’t say a word. I shook my head and turned away.
“Your daddy. He was my life until your mom got drunk one night and slept with him.”
Instantly, I felt sick to my stomach. “Rory?” Ian said.
I wouldn’t turn around and look at her when I spoke. “You know who my father is?” I asked with a shaking voice.
“Why do you think you didn’t meet me until you were seven years old? When your mom told me that she was pregnant, we didn’t speak for seven years. You and Stephen are the spitting image of him. That’s why I didn’t want you because every time I looked at the two of you, it was a reminder of how you ruined my life. What did I ever do that was so bad to deserve that?”
I didn’t hesitate to whip my body around as fast as I could when she said that. “Did it ever f*cking occur to you that it wasn’t about you? That it was about two poor innocent children that lost their mother and had nowhere to go.”
Tears started to pour down her face. “I just couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother to you. I hated everything you represented.”
“Nancy, that’s enough,” Shane said.
“What’s my father’s name?” I asked. She didn’t answer me. I lunged towards her and Ian grabbed my arms. “What’s his name?!” I screamed.
“Jimmy O’Rourke. His name is Jimmy O’Rourke.”
“Do you know where he lives?”
“No. After he found out your momma was pregnant, he took off. He told me he was sorry and he left. I have no idea where he went. He was the love of my life.”
“Really? The love of your life slept with your sister and got her pregnant and then took off. What kind of real man does that?”
“Rory, we better go, sweetheart,” Ian said. “I think you’ve heard enough.”
“You’ll never see me or Stephen again. Goodbye, Aunt Nancy. Have a nice life.”
I walked out the door and climbed into the rental car. Ian started the car and pulled out of the driveway. I needed to hold it together. No more pain. No more hurt. No more past.
“You need to find us a hotel, Ian. Like now.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Seriously. This is no time to be fancy. Just pull into the first hotel you see.”
“But, Rory—”
“There’s no buts, Ian. Just f*cking find a hotel, now!” I snapped.
“Oh thank God,” Ian whispered as he pulled into the Hyatt Regency.
He parked the car, grabbed our bags, and helped me out. “I saw a Holiday Inn Express a few miles back,” I said.
“I’m sorry, Rory, but I’m not staying at a Holiday Inn.”
We walked inside the hotel and one tear fell. The clerk handed Ian the key and we took the elevator up to the top floor. Ian found our room and slid in the key. He opened the door and when I stepped inside, another tear fell. I was losing control.
“Rory, are you okay?” Ian asked.
The sound of the hotel door shutting was the detonator that set off the tear bomb inside me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and cupped my face in my hands as the sobbing began.
“Come here, sweetheart,” Ian said as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I hate her, Ian.”
“I know, and she’s an easy woman to hate. I’m sorry you had to hear the things she said. It’s over now,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.
My tears started to slow down and I looked up at Ian. He smiled softly at me as he wiped the tears from my face. “Do you feel somewhat better now?” he asked. “I’m going to start a bath for you.”
While Ian was starting the bath water, I twisted my hair up in a clip and took off my makeup. I got undressed and Ian held my hand while I climbed down into the tub.
“What scent is this?” I asked as I smelled the bubbles.
“I’m not sure. It was sitting on the shelf.” Ian grabbed the bottle of bubble bath and looked at it. “It’s cherry vanilla.”
“I like it.” I smiled.
“Well, then, I’ll make sure to buy a few bottles before we leave.” He winked.
I brought my knees up to my chest as Ian washed my back. “Tonight is all about you, Rory. We’ll do whatever you want. Name it.”
“That’s sweet, Ian, but I just want to stay in.”
“Okay. We can do that. We’ll order in room service and rent movies.”
“Really?”
“Of course. We’ll have quiet evening in,” he said as he lifted my chin and gave me a kiss. “Finish up your bath, and I’ll go order us a bottle of wine.”
I didn’t want to stay in the tub anymore. I just wanted to lie on the bed in Ian’s arms. I stepped out and put on my pajama shorts and tank top. I climbed on the king-sized bed where Ian was looking over the dinner menu. I snuggled up next to him and we looked at it together.
“What sounds good?” he asked.
“Let’s eat burgers, fries, and a coke.”
“I already ordered the wine,” he said.
“We can drink it later.”
“Do you like cheese on your burger?” Ian smiled.
“Yes,” I replied.
Ian dialed the number for room service and ordered two cheeseburgers, fries, and two cokes. After he hung up the phone, he wrapped his arms around me and we both sank down into each other. Being wrapped up in his arms took my pain away. I didn’t think about anything but him and the moment we were sharing. I could picture this always. I could picture us always. I knew that deep down, he felt the same way I did and he needed me just as much as I needed him. I just had to figure out a way to reach him. Room service arrived with our food and the bottle of wine Ian ordered. He rolled the cart to the middle of the room and took the tops off the silver trays. He looked at me and smiled as he picked up one plate and handed it to me on the bed.
“Your gourmet burger, Miss Sinclair,” he said in a sexy accent.
I took it from him with a smile and positioned it on my lap. Ian brought his plate over to the bed, climbed next to me, and turned on the TV.
“What do you want to watch?” he asked.
“I don’t care. Pick something,” I said as I took a bite of my burger.
“Okay. Let’s see what they have in the way of porn.”
“Ian!” I laughed as I smacked his arm.
“I’m just teasing.” He chuckled.
He turned to the movie channels and the movie Friends with Benefits was just starting.
“I love Justin Timberlake,” I said.
“Do you want to watch this? I kind of like the title,” he smirked.
Of course he did. “Sure.” I smiled.
Ian reached over and took a fry from my plate. “Hey,” I said as I smacked his hand.
“I’m all out.”
“You ate all those already?” I smiled.
“I was hungry. What can I say?”
I took a fry from my plate and put it in his mouth. Ian put his arm around me and I snuggled into him while we finished watching the movie.
****
It was good to be back in Malibu and at Ian’s house. When we arrived home, Adalynn was in the kitchen, talking with Charles.
“Oh goodie, you two are back. How was your trip?” she asked me.
“Eventful, to say the least.”
Ian walked over and kissed Adalynn on the cheek. “Are you bombarding Charles with requests for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?” he asked.
“You know me, Ian. I have to have my mother’s special cranberry nut bread.”
“Then why don’t you make it yourself?”
Adalynn waved her hand in the air. “You know I don’t bake. The last time I attempted to bake it, the bread was completely flat and tasted like pure yeast.”
“I can make it for you,” I said.
“Don’t be silly, Rory. Charles will bake it. Right, Charles?”
“Of course I will,” Charles replied.
“No, I’m serious. I want to help,” I said as I looked down.
Ian walked over to me and put his hands on my hips. “What’s wrong?”
“The last time I celebrated Thanksgiving with a home cooked meal was the last one before my mom died. She and I would go shopping together every year and then, on Thanksgiving morning, we’d cook. After she died, there wasn’t any more turkey or potatoes. Nancy didn’t believe in Thanksgiving because she said she had nothing to be thankful for, so she would just stay in bed all day and shoot herself up. Once I was old enough and worked, I would take Stephen to this little diner that was opened every Thanksgiving for the truckers that were passing through town and we’d order the turkey dinner. So, for me to help Charles out tomorrow would mean the world to me.”
A tear dropped from Adalynn’s eye as she walked over and hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”
“Charles, it looks like you’re going to have some help tomorrow,” Ian said.
“I’m looking forward to it, Rory.” Charles smiled.
Adalynn left and Ian went to his study. After Charles and I discussed the events of tomorrow morning, I walked into the study and Ian hung up the phone.
“I tried to get Stephen out for tomorrow so he could have dinner with us, but the doctor said it was too soon and wouldn’t be a good idea. They’re having a lunch with all the works, so I thought we could go for a while and you could spend some time with him before the guests arrive here.”
“That would be great.” I smiled as I leaned against the doorway. “Thank you for thinking of him.”
“No problem. Andrew called and we’re going out in a bit,” he said as he got up from his chair.
“Oh. Where are you going?”
“Out to dinner. I’ll be back later.”
“Maybe I’ll call Jordyn and see if she and Ollie want to do something,” I said as I turned around and walked into the living room.
“Like what?” Ian asked as he followed me.
“I don’t know. Maybe go to a club or something.”
“Why do you have to go and do that? Why can’t you just stay here and read or watch a movie or something?”
Was he serious? “No, I don’t feel like staying in. I’m going out,” I said as I walked up the stairs and sent Jordyn a text.
I went to my room and Ian followed me in. “Seriously, Rory. Stay home.”
I turned around and looked at him in confusion. It was okay for him to go out with that douchebag Andrew, but if I wanted to go out with my friend, he had a problem with it. No, this wasn’t okay anymore.
“So, let me get this straight; you want me to sit around this house while you go out with your best friend again.”
“Damn it, Rory. You act like we’re a f*cking couple or something. This is the exact reason why I don’t do relationships.”
The fire inside reared its ugly flames as I stood there and glared at him. “We aren’t a couple, and you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do, Ian.” That was it; once I started, I couldn’t stop. “Who the hell do you think you are?” I asked as I pointed my finger at him. “You’ve made it very clear what our relationship is, and what I do when you’re not f*cking me is none of your business.”
I could see the anger in his eyes as he stared at me. “Fine, Rory. You said it. It’s none of my business what you do, just like it’s none of your business what I do. Go out with your friends. I don’t care,” he said as he looked at his watch. “I have to go get ready. Have fun tonight. But when you get into trouble, don’t call me.”
“F*ck you!” I yelled as he walked out and slammed the door.
I sat on the edge of my bed in tears. My phone beeped with a text message from Jordyn.
“I’m sorry, Rory, but Ollie and I are staying in tonight. We’re both sick with the flu.”
“I hope you two feel better before tomorrow. Get some rest.”
Great. There was no way I was staying in this house alone tonight, so I called Adalynn to see if she was doing anything.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hi,” I said with a sad tone. “Do you want to hang out tonight? Ian is going out with douchebag Andrew, and I’m not sitting here alone.”
Adalynn laughed loudly into the phone. “I’m sorry, Rory. But douchebag Andrew is brilliant. Anyway, Daniel and I are going to dinner. You are more than welcome to come with.”
I didn’t want to be a third wheel and disrupt their dinner plans. “It’s okay, Adalynn; you and Daniel have a great dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I’m sure. Have fun,” I said as I hung up.
I sighed and got up from the bed. I walked down to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. When I turned around, Ian had just walked in. Goddamn it, his scent was amazing. He looked amazing and, at that moment, I hated him for going out looking and smelling like that. I looked away when he looked at me and headed towards the stairs.
“Have a good night,” he said as he put his hand on the door handle.
“You too,” I said as I put my hand up while walking up the stairs.
“Don’t worry. I fully intend to,” he replied.
I flinched when I heard the door shut. I stopped when I reached the top of the stairs and sat down with my back against the wall. I ran my hand through my hair and pressed my palm against my forehead. As I sat there, feeling sorry for myself and angrier than hell, I heard the door open. I looked over and saw Adalynn and Daniel standing in the foyer.
“Why are you sitting there like that?” she asked.
“What are you doing here?”
“Daniel and I are picking you up for dinner. It’s not even an option for you to tell us no, so go freshen up because I’m starving.”
“Hi, Rory.” Daniel smiled and waved.
“Hi, Daniel.” I smiled back. “Adalynn, I’m not hungry.”
“Nonsense. Did something happen between you and Ian?”
“Yeah.”
She walked up the stairs and took a hold of my arm. “Come on, up you go. You’re coming with us.”
I knew if I didn’t go, she’d hound me to death. The one thing I noticed was that Adalynn always got her way.
“Fine, just let me go brush my hair and I’ll tell you all about it in the car.”
****
We arrived at the restaurant and were promptly seated in a corner booth. The waitress brought our drinks and took our food order. As Adalynn, Daniel, and I were talking, I heard a familiar voice and laugh. I stopped sipping my cosmopolitan and froze.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Adalynn asked.
“That voice. That’s Andrew’s voice,” I said as I slowly turned my head and looked behind me.
“Oh no,” Adalynn said as she looked where I was looking.
Sitting at a table with Andrew, were Ian and two beautiful twin brunette women. Instantly, I felt sick to my stomach and it was getting hard to breathe.
“Rory, calm down,” Adalynn said. “We don’t know the situation.”
“The situation? They are both on dates with those women. Look at how Ian is smiling at her and leaning closer to her. He lied to me. He told me it was him and Andrew,” I said as tears sprang to my eyes.
“You know, I’m getting really sick of him,” Adalynn spat as she got up from the booth.
“Where are you going?” I said as I grabbed her wrist.
“To say hi, darling.” She smiled.
Adalynn walked over to the table and talked to Ian and Andrew.
“Duck down, Rory,” Daniel said. “They’re looking over here,” he said as he smiled and gave a small wave to them.
A few moments later, Adalynn came back to the table. “Well, wasn’t that pleasant.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing much. I asked Ian where you were and he said he didn’t know and that you mentioned something about going out with Jordyn. So I asked the bastard why he didn’t bring you to dinner. He didn’t answer me. Those two women are Andrew’s cousins from out of town. They’re here for the holiday, so Andrew decided to take them to dinner.”
“I bet he did, and I bet Ian has f*cked both of them too. I’m so sorry, Adalynn and Daniel, but I have to get out of here because I feel like I’m going to lose it any second.”
The thing that sucked was that I would have to pass their table to get out of the restaurant. While I was contemplating my escape, the waitress came over and set down our food.
“Excuse me, but is there another way out of this restaurant besides the front?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “There’s the back way through the kitchen, but customers aren’t allowed back there.”
“Listen, just show me. I have to get out of here, but I can’t pass that table over there with those two men and women.”
The waitress glanced over at the table and then at me. “Is one of those guys your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” I lied.
“Is he cheating on you, sweetie?” she asked.
Oh my God, why couldn’t she just show me the way to the kitchen?
“Hold on.” She winked.
Uh oh. I didn’t like the way she said that. Daniel kept an eye on the table and the waitress. He busted out laughing and told me to turn around quickly. The waitress had spilled drinks all over Ian and Andrew. They both looked pissed as they got up from their seats and went to the bathroom. The waitress walked over to our table and smiled.
“Okay, sweetie, you can go out the front now.” She winked again.
“Oh, you’re good,” Adalynn said as she reached in her purse, pulled out a fifty-dollar bill, and handed it to her.
“You two stay and finish your dinner. I’ll call a cab. I meant it. Stay!” I exclaimed.
Adalynn stood up and hugged me. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she pouted.
I smiled at her and Daniel, and walked out of the restaurant. There was a cab coming down the street, so I put up my hand and he stopped. I climbed in and gave him Ian’s address.
When I arrived home, I changed my clothes and headed down to the beach. I sat down in the sand to do some serious thinking. I kept going over and over in my head the things Ian said earlier about relationships. Maybe I was being selfish and only wanted to keep him to myself for the night, or maybe, it was because I was so in love with him and I didn’t trust him. His reputation was pretty bad when it came to women, and he’d made it very clear that we were not in a relationship. I picked up a stick that was next to me and started drawing in the sand. A few moments later, I heard a voice behind me.
“You stayed home.”
I took in a deep breath. “Yeah. Ollie and Jordyn are sick with the flu. Why are you back so early?”
Ian walked over and sat down next to me. “The waitress at the restaurant we were at spilled drinks on me and Andrew. Needless to say, I was soaked. So, we called it a night and I came home and changed.”
“Wow, what a bad waitress,” I said as I laughed hysterically inside.
“Yeah. She didn’t get a tip.” He smiled. “You’ll never guess who I ran into there.”
“Who?”
“Adalynn and Daniel. She asked where you were.”
I waited for him to tell me about Andrew’s cousins, because maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to let it go, but he didn’t.
“Well, I’m sorry you got drinks spilled on you, but I’m really tired, so I’m going to head upstairs,” I said as I got up.
Ian grabbed my hand. “Do you want some company?”
I looked down into his amazing eyes. “No, I don’t,” I said with a small smile and walked away.
Since I was already mad at him and we really weren’t on good terms at the moment, I decided to add a little fuel to the fire. It was better to bring it up now and get it over with. Before I reached the patio, I stopped.
“Why is it that you’ve never taken me to your bed?” I asked.
“I can take you there now,” he replied.
Okay, so me and my big mouth. I couldn’t help it. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me earlier. The only difference was that I don’t know if Ian Braxton could feel hurt.
“Maybe you should’ve brought home one of those brunettes you were with tonight. I’m sure that she would’ve loved your bed.”
“STOP!” he yelled.
I just shook my head and walked up the stairs. I knew it was only a matter of time before he busted through the bedroom door. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. One. Two. Three.
“Rory! Are you in there?” he shouted as he shook the door handle.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to the bathroom, Ian.”
“Hurry up! I’ll be waiting on the bed.”
I rolled my eyes as I sat on the counter with my feet on the toilet. I didn’t want to go out there and face him. Shit. I never should’ve said anything. Well, I was going to have to face him sooner or later. I unlocked the door and stepped into the bedroom. Ian was sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded.
“Adalynn texted you, didn’t she?”
F*ck. I couldn’t lie to him when it involved Adalynn. I had no choice; I had to tell him the truth.
“No, I was there. I was at the restaurant with Adalynn and Daniel.”
“What? No you weren’t. I didn’t see you and I waved to Daniel.”
“That’s because I ducked down into the booth,” I said as I pulled out my nightshirt from the drawer.
“Are you serious? Why the hell didn’t you come over and say something?”
“Like what, Ian? Oh hi, who are these whores you’re with?”
“Rory, stop. Those girls were Andrew’s cousins.”
“Did you know they were going?”
Ian looked down before he answered my question. “Yes, I knew they were going.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because, it’s none of your concern, Rory. Like I said earlier, we aren’t a couple. I’m sorry, sweetheart, if that hurts you, but I can’t help it.”
I gnawed at my bottom lip as his words shot through my heart. My eyes started to fill with tears and my breathing became restricted.
“I’m sorry, Ian. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
The words just came out my mouth. I was apologizing to him for killing me. I needed to think things through. I couldn’t just up and leave like I was about to. I needed to think. Ian got up from the bed and wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. “Come on; I’ll take you to my bed,” he said as he kissed my head.
As I broke our embrace, I looked at him. “No, Ian. Not tonight.”
“Are you sure? I’m already getting hard.”
He was slowly killing me. I put my hand on his chest. “Then I suggest you either play with yourself or call one of your other girls, because this girl isn’t having sex with you tonight.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll just go masturbate, then,” he said as he headed towards the door.
“Seriously, it’s okay if you want to call one of the other girls over.”
Ian shook his head and walked out the door. I jumped when I heard his bedroom door slam.