Just The Sexiest Man Alive

Four

 

GIVEN HER FOUL mood, when Taylor walked into Judge Fowler’s courtroom that morning to argue her motion in limine, she was ready to kick some serious ass.

 

She and Derek took their seats at the defendant’s table. Her opposing counsel, Frank, was already waiting at the table opposite them. Seeing that all parties were present, the clerk of court called the room to order as the judge entered.

 

“All rise! This court is now in session, the Honorable Arlander Fowler presiding.” The clerk, judge, and court reporter all sat. Taylor and Frank approached the podium as the judge sifted through his papers.

 

 

“Frank Siedlecki, representing the EEOC, Your Honor.”

 

“Good morning, Your Honor. Taylor Donovan, for the defendant.”

 

And then the most extraordinary thing happened in that courtroom that morning, at the very moment when Taylor stated her name for the record.

 

Jason Andrews walked in.

 

Hearing Taylor introduce herself, Jason looked over curiously. Without being noticed, he took a seat in the empty back row of the galley as the judge, Taylor, and Frank continued on with their business.

 

The judge pulled Taylor’s motion out from the stack of papers in front of him. “All right, we are here today on a continuance of defendant’s final motion in limine.” He peered down from the bench at Taylor. “Counselor, why don’t you tell me what this is all about?”

 

Taylor addressed the judge from the podium, fully aware that this motion was crucial to the success of their case.

 

“Your Honor, the EEOC intends to have several witnesses testify about non-gender-based profanity they allegedly heard in the workplace. We’re moving to prohibit all such testimony.”

 

Frank jumped in. “Your Honor, this is a sexual harassment case—”

 

And Taylor promptly cut him off. “That’s right. This is asexual harassment case, and we are moving to prohibit testimony about language that, while profane, certainly is notsex -based. I apologize for my language, Your Honor, but I just don’t see what the word ‘shit’ has to do with sexual harassment.”

 

Over in the gallery, Jason smiled at this.

 

Up at the podium, Frank tried to regain control over the argument. “But these plaintiffs are women, Your Honor, and the EEOC can establish that they often heard that particular word and others like it in the workplace, and that they found such language to be harassing.”

 

Taylor quickly responded. “The EEOC’s problem is thateveryone in the workplace heard this kind of profanity—both men and women.”

 

“Your Honor, our position is that the defendant should have been aware that women as a whole, as a gender, would be more . . . sensitive to these types of words,” Frank said in his most self-righteous tone.

 

At that, Taylor held up a hand with disdain.

 

“I’m sorry, Judge. But that kind of paternalistic view is more offensive than anything my client is accused of. The purpose of the Civil Rights Act is not to turn our workplaces into Sunday school; it’s meant to preventdiscrimination . The EEOC might not like the word ‘shit,’ but too bad. It’s not discriminatory.”

 

Considering the argument finished, Taylor folded her arms over her chest and waited for the ruling.

 

Up at his bench, the judge peered down at the parties as he debated the merits of each position. After a moment, he spoke.

 

“I have to agree with Ms. Donovan on this one. There are a lot of things that all of us have to put up with at work, things we don’t particularly like, but that doesn’t make those things discriminatory. Defendant’s motion in limine is granted.”

 

The judge banged his gavel as the clerk of court stamped the motion. “I think that wraps us up for today, counselors. Submit your joint pretrial order to me by Friday. This court stands in recess.”

 

As the judge stood to leave, everyone in the courtroom rose. Satisfied with the ruling, Taylor turned pleasantly to Frank.

 

“So, should we plan to talk tomorrow about the pretrial order?” Arguing was like a sport to Taylor and like all professionals, she left the game on the field.

 

Frank, however, did not appear to be of a similar mind-set. Ignoring her, he grabbed his briefcase and stormed off without saying one word.

 

Taylor shrugged this off. Oh well. He probably was just pissed he didn’t get to swear in court, too.

 

She returned to the defendant’s table and began packing files into her briefcase. Suddenly, she felt Derek nudge her hip.

 

“Isn’t that Jason Andrews?” he asked in a low, excited whisper.

 

Taylor glanced up and saw a man heading over from the galley, walking up the aisle toward her.

 

It was indeed Jason Andrews.

 

The twenty-five-million-dollar-per-picture star paused for a brief moment when she first looked up. Then he flashed her that famous smile.

 

“You must be Taylor.”

 

Taylor maintained her even stare. Well, well, well. His Exalted High-and-Mightiness had finally decided to drop in after all.

 

As Jason Andrews strolled over in his black button-down shirt and charcoal-gray pin-striped pants (both of which fit so perfectly they appeared to have been hand-tailored just for him), two thoughts crossed Taylor’s mind.

 

One—he wasn’t wearing a suit and tie in court.

 

Two—he was unbelievably gorgeous in person.

 

She quickly obliterated this second, wholly irrelevant, thought from her mind. She managed to keep her face a mask of steady indifference as the actor sauntered up to her.

 

“Your office said you would be here,” he said easily, explaining his presence. “Looks like I got here just in time for the fireworks.” He winked as if they were in on some joke together.

 

Taylor glared at him. So deadly was her look, a lesser man would’ve been out the courtroom door in two seconds flat.

 

But Jason was undaunted. He smiled amiably. “You’re right—where are my manners? I haven’t properly introduced myself.” He held out his hand in introduction. “I’m Jason—”

 

Taylor cut off the whole charm routine ASAP. She had seen smiles like that before and was now decidedly immune from them.

 

“I obviously know who you are,Mr .Andrews . I also know that you were supposed to be at my office on two different days last week.”

 

Jason pulled back his hand, as if surprised by her curt tone.

 

Off to the side, Derek had been wholly forgotten in the fray. The junior associate stepped forward and cleared his throat to remind Taylor and Jason of his presence.

 

“Um, Taylor, I’m going to head back. Should I stop by your office tomorrow to talk about the pretrial order?” He glanced between the two of them.

 

Taylor eyed Jason coolly as she answered. “You can come by later today, Derek. I won’t be long with this.”

 

With one final glance between the two, Derek gathered the case files and hurried out of the courtroom. Leaving Taylor and Jason alone.

 

She folded her arms across her chest. “What exactly can I do for you, Mr. Andrews?”

 

She noticed that the corners of his mouth twitched almost into a grin, as if he found her formal use of his last name to be amusing. This only annoyed her even more.

 

“I see you’re a little upset about the appointments I missed last week,” he said in a teasing tone. A tone, Taylor noted, that was very similar to the one she herself used when deliberately attempting to infuriate her opponents.

 

How dare he.

 

“Unfortunately, I got tied up at the last minute,” Jason continued, with no attempt to conceal his air of condescension. “Surely you understand . . . I’m a very a busy man,Ms .Donovan .” He emphasized the last two words, letting her know that two could play the last-name game.

 

Then he brushed their differences aside with a wave. “But I’m here now, so let’s get down to business.” He clapped his hands together as if this settled the matter.

 

“But see, nowI’m busy, Mr. Andrews.”

 

Jason smiled patiently at her reply, like a teacher to a wayward child. He took a step closer, and Taylor noticed that he towered over her. She thought all actors were supposed to be short in person. Of course,he would have to be the exception.

 

 

Because Taylor refused to budge an inch, they now stood quite close. Jason peered down at her, his eyes boring straight into hers.

 

“Ms. Donovan,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “No oneis too busy for me.”

 

He paused to let his words sink in. Taylor’s eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. Jason apparently took this as a sign of acknowledgment.

 

“Good, now that that’s settled . . .” He stepped away and gestured grandly to the courtroom as if issuing a command. “Why don’t you show me something . . . lawyerly?”

 

He looked around as if trying to get familiar with the environment. “The script has several scenes where I have to cross-examine witnesses. Start by showing me an example of that. But not the crap you see on TV—I want to look real.”

 

Taylor bit her lip and peered down at the floor to keep from laughing out loud. He was so ridiculously arrogant, it was almost amusing. Unable to conceal her smirk, she looked back up at him and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

 

Jason turned around. “Why not?”

 

“For starters, I don’t have a witness.”

 

He pointed to himself. “What about me?”

 

And in that moment, Taylor was struck with sudden devious inspiration. She cocked her head in contemplation, then nodded agreeably for the first time since Jason had shown up.

 

“Okay, sure.” she gestured across the courtroom. “Why don’t you take a seat in the witness stand?”

 

Jason threw her an approving look—apparently glad to see she was back with the program—and did as she asked. She waited for him to get comfortable, then positioned herself directly in front of the witness stand.

 

Taylor launched into the first question of her “mock” cross-examination.

 

“Mr. Andrews—you are aware, are you not, that your assistant made arrangements for you to be at my office last Thursday?”

 

Jason smiled as if he found her challenge to be amusing. He eased back in the witness stand, getting comfortable. “Yes, I am aware of that, Ms. Donovan.”

 

“You did not show up for that appointment, did you?”

 

“That is correct.”

 

“And you are aware that after failing to show up for that first appointment, your assistant made subsequent arrangements for you to be at my office on Friday morning; is that correct?”

 

Jason stretched out and crossed one leg over the other, seemingly unconcerned with such a trifling line of questioning.

 

“That is also correct. As I indicated earlier, I got tied up unexpectedly with other matters. A film emergency.” As he said this, he casually turned his watch around his wrist.

 

Taylor raised an eyebrow incredulously. “A film emergency?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

She let this sit for a moment, and then walked over to the lawyer’s table and pulled her cell phone out of her briefcase.

 

“Let me show you what has been marked as Exhibit A.” She crossed back to Jason and held up the cell phone.

 

“Do you recognize Exhibit A, Mr. Andrews?”

 

Jason leaned forward and peered at the phone with mock uncertainty. “Well, now, I can’t be sure . . . but it appears to be a cell phone.”

 

“Do you own a cell phone, Mr. Andrews?”

 

“Three of them, actually.”

 

“And do you know how to operate your three cell phones?”

 

Jason humored her with a smile. “Of course.”

 

At this, Taylor eased back, sitting on the edge of the lawyer’s table.

 

It was time, she decided, to kick things up a notch.

 

 

 

JASON WATCHED AS Taylor casually crossed one high-heeled leg over the other. Unable to resist, his eyes flickered down to her legs for just the briefest second. Then he quickly glanced back up.

 

When his gaze met Taylor’s, he detected the faintest trace of a smug smile in her eyes. It was then he realized something.

 

She was toying with him.

 

Shewas toying withhim .

 

Taylor paused until she appeared satisfied that Jason’s eyes were focused back on hers, then continued with her questions.

 

“By any chance, did you have any of your three cell phones with you last week in Las Vegas, Mr. Andrews?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“So you could’ve called my office to say you couldn’t make our meetings?”

 

Jason laughed as if this was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. “Like I make any of those calls myself.”

 

Taylor eased off the table and strolled casually toward the witness stand.

 

“Well then, couldn’t you have asked one of your numerous assistants to call me? Or were things at the Bellagio hotel—oh, sorry—your ‘film emergency’ ”—she made mocking finger quotes—“so crazy that you couldn’t get around to it?”

 

She waited expectantly for Jason’s answer.

 

He deflected the question easily. He certainly hoped she had something better than that.

 

“So you got me, Ms. Donovan. I was in Las Vegas. That’s some impressive lawyering, considering I was onlycaught on television .”

 

“And the reason you didn’t have someone call my office?”

 

“It didn’t seem like a big deal,” he replied breezily. “I didn’t think I needed an excuse.”

 

“Well if that’s true,” Taylor asked pointedly, “then why did you first try to make up the story about a film emergency?”

 

Jason paused at this.

 

Oops.

 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly a bit tangled up in his “testimony.”

 

Taylor approached the witness stand, her eyes sparkling triumphantly. “What exactly was your plan here, Mr. Andrews? To just walk in and flash your little smile, no questions asked?”

 

Actually, that pretty much had been his plan.

 

Jason folded his arms across his chest and merely shrugged dismissively at her question.

 

Taylor seized upon his gesture, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Andrews, but your answers have to be audible for the court reporter. Was that a ‘yes’?”

 

Jason gazed at her evenly, annoyed by her tone. She returned the look.

 

“Yes, Ms. Donovan,” he finally replied. “That may have been my plan. To flash my little smile, no questions asked.”

 

She leaned against the witness stand. “How’s that plan working out for you, Mr. Andrews?”

 

His eyes locked with hers.

 

“Not so well.”

 

Taylor smiled confidently, as if to say her work there was finished.

 

“Good. I have no further questions.”

 

And with that, she strutted over to the lawyer’s table and threw her briefcase over her shoulder. Without so much as a second glance, she walked out of the courtroom with her head held high. The door swung, then shut firmly behind her.

 

Leaving Jason alone.

 

Sitting stupidly in the witness stand.

 

He looked around, waiting for the cameras and people to come pouring out, letting him in on the practical joke. Clooney loved to pull stunts like this.

 

So Jason waited. And waited some more.

 

But . . . nothing.

 

And it then began to occur to Jason that this was not a joke, that indeed Taylor Donovan had actuallymeant to insult him. Which then raised one very serious question.

 

What the hell kind of shit wasthat ?

 

Jason quickly flashed back through every detail of his encounter with her. Each and every sassy, sarcastic word. He hadn’t been spoken to like that in years.

 

Jason glanced over at the door that Taylor had just stormed out of. And slowly, his face changed into a smile.

 

Interesting.

 

Veryinteresting.

 

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