Flat-Out Celeste(Flat-Out Love II)

“Yeah. Great.” The driver started the meter.

Celeste immediately started a search on her phone for airport protocol, as this would be her first experience with security and such. One must appear to know the part. She read for a few minutes. “Psst, Matty, did you know that we have to take off our shoes to go through the line thingie?”

“I know.”

“I,” she said drawing out her words, “find that to be an entirely civilized custom.”

“It’s not really a custom so much as a requirement.”

“I shall enjoy this part so much.”

She continued reading. “Oh no, Matty.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. Or at least what she thought was whispering.

“What is it?”

“It says here that we are not to be inebriated when flying or they might deny us access to the airplane.”

“Then don’t act drunk.”

“We are inebriated.”

“Don’t act inebriated.”

“Sir?” Celeste tapped on the heavy plastic panel that separated them from the front of the cab. “Sir?”

“Yeah?”

“Sir? Do we look inebriated to you?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s not okay. We cannot look inebriated. We would like to fly via airplane, and inebriated is not allowed. Do you have a suggestion for how not to be inebriated?”

“Don’t drink?”

She waved her hands. “Too late. Now what?”

“A breath mint wouldn’t kill you. And don’t talk when you go through security. Or board the plane. Or at all.”

“Aha!” She slapped Matt’s knee. “Our chauffeur has a set of brilliant ideas which we will incorporate into our sneaky scheme. Matt, are you paying attention here?”

“What? I was just booking us a hotel room.”

“Ohmigod. How are we paying for this trip?”

He leaned, or perhaps tipped slightly, into her and said, “I got a buncha money.”

“You have what?”

“I dunno. I mean, I make money and don’t spend a lot. I saved up. Then I never spent it.”

“What did you save up for?”

He started to say something and then stopped. “Nothing really. I’m just stingy.”

“You’re not so stingy. You are taking us on this trip.”

“Then I’m a big spender.”

“Hey, big spender….” Celeste started to sing.

“Don’t sing. It makes you look inebriated.”

“Oh. We can’t be inebriated, or they won’t let us on the plane.”

“I know.”

“Inebriated is not appropriate travel behavior.”

“Calm down. Don’t be scared. It’s just a dumb airplane.”

“I’m not scared. I’m going to think about seeing Justin. And you’ll be with me. I will be fine. That is what I have decided.”

“Check out the new Celeste, all ballsy and stuff.”

“Matty! Do not say ballsy! That is disgusting.” She sunk into the seat and looked out the window. “But I am gettin’ ballsy, aren’t I? It’s fun.”





Hey, Celeste?

“We’re about to hit a little turbulence, folks, so I’m going to keep the seatbelt sign on. We should be through this pocket in about ten minutes.”

Celeste winced with every word from the captain. “Flying is not fun, flying is not fun, flying is not fun,” she whispered.

Despite the luxurious first-class seats, she was anything but comfortable. She leaned against Matt, grabbing his arm and resting her head against him. True, she couldn’t fault him for being asleep considering how much he’d had to drink. However, he was not being particularly helpful right now, but it was slightly comforting to clutch onto him each time the airplane bounced. She couldn’t decide if closing her eyes or keeping them open was worse, but when shut, every noise and movement did seem intensified, so she settled on bug-eyed awake. Old Fashioneds and gin and tonics had certainly eased the take-off, but now that she was sobering up… Well, just one more hour and they would land. Presumably with all of their limbs still intact. The good news was that there was a reward at the end of this misery: Justin.



Celeste: Our plane should begin its descent in approximately 40 minutes.

Justin: Your what should what?

Celeste: The airplane that I am on will be landing soon.

Justin: You’re on an airplane?

Celeste: Have you not checked your voice mail? I left you a message. I’m almost in San Diego.

Justin: Hold on…

Justin: I don’t have a message from you, but, OH MY GOD, you are? You seriously got on an airplane? I’m freaking out. And totally damn happy.



Oh dear. She knew for sure that she had called him, but… Of course, she had been a bit under the influence of alcohol and perhaps her memory was failing her. There was, she realized, a very distinct possibility that she had not actually phoned him. Or worse, that she had phoned someone else.



Celeste: Matthew and I were experimenting with cocktail hour, and it seems that things got a bit out of hand.

Justin: So you two got drunk and flew to California?

Celeste: “Drunk” may not be accurate, as I feel painfully sober and my senses are astronomically heightened by this hideous air travel venture.

Celeste: Was this a bad idea? Are you unnerved?

Justin: No! It’s only the BEST IDEA EVER! I didn’t think I’d see you until the summer. This is more than I could have asked for. How long are you here for? Do you want me to pick you up at the airport? Where are you staying? SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS!

Celeste: We have not arranged a return flight yet. That was evidently not part of the Old Fashioned planning process. We have a hotel, and I think a car, as well. Given how many drinks Matthew had, it might be best to get him to the hotel as soon as possible, and I do not want to put you out. I am able to drive him with no concerns.

Justin: Understood. But I can’t wait to see you! Tomorrow morning, then? Text me when you wake up, okay? I’ll take you all over campus, and I know a great place for dinner. Maybe hit the beach?
   



Celeste: I, too, am excited to see you.



The plane dipped. Hard. She clenched her teeth and fought for nerves of steel. Of course, nerves of steel was a nauseating cliché, but she didn’t have the damn nerves of steel to come up with an alternative.



Celeste: I do not like flying. It will be a relief to land. This is stressful.

Justin: I’m very impressed with you for getting on that plane, even if it took some liquid courage.



Liquid courage. Celeste liked that phrase. It must mean bravery through alcohol consumption. Not that Celeste was going to take to drink on a regular basis—or frankly ever again based on how her stomach was feeling—but the term was quite amusing. Besides, courage should come through the strength of one’s character, not the strength of one’s bourbon. She was still working on that.



Celeste: There is turbulence. I am vehemently displeased with it.

Justin: Would it help to tell you that I’m waiting for you?

Celeste: Yes.

Justin: That when I see you, I will take my most fabulous girlfriend in my arms and pull her in close?



Celeste checked to make sure that Matthew was still asleep.



Celeste: Yes. That helps.

Celeste: Justin, I would very much prefer to be with you at this time. I have had a phobia of air travel that was based solely on fantasy, and now that fantasy is becoming reality.

Justin: There are much better fantasies, right? So listen to me. Celeste, listen to me, because I can’t stand that you’re scared. Push that fear aside. Focus on a fantasy of… whatever suspends from you from this.

Justin: Let’s talk fantasies. For me, there has been a fantasy about getting to kiss you again. Before, I was so rushed with you. Over the holidays. It was perfect and moving… but I want time. I want time to settle with you. Relax. I miss you. I miss the way you feel. And the way you make me feel. You sort of settle me, Celeste. If that makes any kind of sense. So my fantasy is to feel wholly me again. But me again with you.

Celeste: I miss you, Justin. So very much.

Justin: When I see you tomorrow, I am going to kiss you so deeply that you will forget about this horrible flight. I’ll make the memory go away.



The plane thumped sharply, and Celeste caught her breath and gripped the armrest. Her eyes rimmed with tears. She truly wanted off this plane.



Celeste: It will have to be the best kiss that has ever taken place, because I am most decidedly unhappy at the moment.

Celeste: I wish you were here in the seat next to me. Justin, I do not like this. I am quite scared.



There was a devastating quiet from him now. She should not spaz out. Dallas loved the word “spaz,” and it was mildly helpful to think of her friend. It was possible to manage this plane terror herself if she had to, so if Justin had been distracted by… well, any of the myriad of things that might distract him… she would get through this. She would not spaz out. But then her phone buzzed, and a wave of relief hit her. It was everything.



Justin: I’m leaving my dorm now.

Celeste: Justin, please… I do not want to be a bother. It is quite late.

Justin: I don’t care. It’s college. There is no “late.” I need to see you. To know you’re okay. And I swear to you that you are going to be okay. Turbulence is just air pockets. Bumps.

Celeste: Okay. Just air pockets.

Justin: Exactly. That’s all. I’m going to be there the minute that you land.

Celeste: I would very much like that. Thank you.

Justin: Hey, Celeste?



She smiled.



Celeste: Hey, Justin?

Justin: I want to tell you something.

Celeste: Yes?

Justin: I shouldn’t say this over text, but I don’t know that I can say it in person.

Justin: You’re scared now. I feel that. But I am more scared, and I want to tell you why anyway.



As the plane jostled sideways, the captain came over the speakers with another jarring warning about remaining seated. Celeste could feel her chest tighten with anxiety. Not just about the plane.



Celeste: If it is something that could be helpful for one under duress, I would advise you to speak up. Immediately, for instance.



Justin did not reply for a few minutes. She stared at her phone’s screen, silently begging him to say something. Anything. Anything at all would do. Even a diatribe on shrimp. Finally she saw the blinking dots that told her he was typing.



Justin: I am falling so in love with you.



Her body electrified. Celeste wiped her eyes and read his text again. The drone of the plane disappeared; the turbulence was no more. There was only Justin and his words.



Justin: I lose myself and find myself at the same time with you.

Justin: I need you, Celeste. I need you as part of my world, because for the first time, I am connected to someone in a way that has meaning. And truth. Maybe our distance has strengthened what I feel between us since we’re not grounded in habit or daily convenience. We have to fight for what we have.



Celeste didn’t bother to dry her eyes again because there was no point. It was so rare that one cried with happiness that she allowed it without shame.



Justin: I don’t know if I can equate what I feel for you with anything else. Except maybe one thing, if this makes any sense.

Justin: I go to this spot at Sunset Cliffs sometimes. It’s usually a place crowded with tourists, but certain times of year are quieter. I like it then. And there’s a high spot on the sandstone cliff, surrounded by this gorgeous ice plant, and it overlooks the most beautiful water view you’ve ever seen. I’m on top of the world there, it seems.

Justin: And everything fits, you know? Life feels right. As though I could take on anything, do anything. And sometimes, when I’m feeling overcome with gratitude for the view and for what I have, I jump so that I remember to continue to be courageous because not every piece of life will feel so in place.

Justin: It’s a twenty-foot drop, the water is only in the high fifties, and it’s a damn scary experience. But it’s a wonderful fear. One that I know I can get through and one that I want.
   



Justin: That’s what it’s like with you. I am scared because you are so beyond anything I could have imagined. I become so much more with you beside me. That’s terrifying, by the way. But I will be brave because my fear only comes from finally having something deeply powerful to lose. That’s my connection with you. It would be a massive loss.

Justin: And now I am in the car and about to see you, so don’t reply. I’m too flipping terrified to hear what you think of my rant. It’s hard not to pour my heart out once I start. If you think I’m out of mind, just wave your hands in horror when you spot the lovesick guy at the airport.



Ten minutes went by. He had said not to reply, so she hadn’t.



Justin: Let’s hope I don’t get pulled over for speeding… but I’m at a stoplight now.

Justin: God, I hope you aren’t… aren’t… something bad.

Celeste: Hey, Justin?

Justin: I TOLD YOU NOT TO REPLY!

Justin: I know, I know. But I’m happy you did because I lost it there for a minute.

Celeste: HEY, JUSTIN?

Justin: Sorry… Hey, Celeste?

Celeste: I am, unequivocally and wholly falling in love with you, too.

Justin: Now I’m definitely speeding. I will see you soon.



Celeste turned off her phone. Now she was able to shut her eyes without fear. The landing gear thudded as it lowered for their final descent, the vibrations ran through her, and she barely noticed. What she did notice was her intense desire to be held by Justin, to feel his mouth against hers and his hands in her hair as they kissed. He made her feel… feminine. Cherished. His touch and his tenderness created the first desire she’d had for more. A curiosity. Maybe one day, they would even—

“Oh my God, what the hell is going on?” Matt groaned from his seat next to her. “Why am I on an airplane?”

“Oh dear. Do you not remember?”

He touched a hand to his forehead and didn’t answer.

“We shared some cocktails during a very lovely brother-sister bonding afternoon, and then we decided to do some cross-country traveling.”

“I bought us first-class tickets?”

“You did. It was very generous of you.”

“You don’t fly,” he said weakly. “Are you okay?”

“I am quite well. Quite well indeed.”

“You sound perky. Why are you perky?”

“Look out the window! San Diego is stunning at night. The city lights push through the dark sky, creating a most spectacular scene before us. You should look, Matty.”

“I don’t think I feel well enough to look out of a window.”

“I see. Do you have a hangover? Why do they call it a hangover? What is one hanging over?”

“I feel a little sick,” he mumbled to himself.

“Oh, I see! One might possibly hang one’s upper body over a toilet! Ergo, a hangover. Quite clever. Are you going to vomit? Earlier, I located a vomit bag as I was exploring what was offered to us in this seat pocket.”

“Please don’t say vomit.”

“Should I say barf? That starts with the letter B and continues our earlier joke.”

“I do not want a bag of any sort.”

“‘Bag’ also starts with… Never mind. Could I then offer you an in-flight magazine?”

“No.”

“The airline offers a catalog that sells extremely unusual items.” She retrieved it. “Here, for instance, is a biker gnome statue. Or a bigfoot yeti carving that attaches to a tree trunk. Magic shower heads? These look interesting. They light up the water with various colors so you could bathe in green or purple. A multitude of colors are offered.”

“I don’t want a green shower.”

“Something else for the bathroom, perhaps? An Egyptian goddess toilet paper holder?”

“Please stop talking about toilets and bathrooms.”

“Sorry. Here’s something you might like. Star Trek pajamas for adults.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“For the traveler, they sell a convenient clothesline. You could wash your underwear and hang them up in the hotel bathroom—Oops, I mentioned a bathroom again. Well, it’s not my fault that this catalog features many bathroom items. Aha, how about a gargoyle bottle opener?”

“Celeste…”

“No, sorry, that’s no good. It probably makes you think of beer or wine, and you are experiencing nausea and a headache, I suspect.”

“Why are you so chipper?”

“Because we are on an exciting adventure!”

Matt rubbed his eye and stretched. “That’s true. This was certainly unexpected. Where are we staying?”

“You made a hotel reservation.”

“I did?”

“Yes. You likely have a confirmation on your phone. Justin is meeting us at the airport in his car.”

“He is? That’s nice of him…”

“How long are we staying here, Matty?”

He laughed lightly. “I have no idea. I suppose we better be home before Mom and Dad get back. They wouldn’t like this. So whatever you do, don’t tell them we’re here. Just pretend we’re at home, okay?”

“Oooooh, we are being very mischievous and naughty! How unlike both of us!”

“Shhhh. My head is pounding. Let’s just focus on getting to the hotel so that I can pass out again.”

“Okay, that’s a wise plan. Good thinking, Matthew.” She leaned into him more and gave him a hug. “I am sorry that you don’t feel well, but this trip is terrifically exciting for me.”

He put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her in, kissing the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re happy. I feel like hell, but I’m glad you’re happy.”

The landing was smooth, and in fact, Celeste found that she liked the rush she felt from being pushed back against her seat as the plane braked to a stop. It was a build, the force picking up gradually until reaching a peak, then gently easing up. She almost wanted more. What she had feared so much was now what she craved.
   



Or, she thought with no small degree of embarrassment, braking in an airplane was not what she craved. Justin’s texts may have ignited something else.

When the lights came on and the seatbelt sign pinged off, she and Matt retrieved their bags from the overhead bins and stood to exit. The flight attendant nodded as they walked by. “Thank you for a most pleasant flying experience,” Celeste said. “My first flight was significantly less traumatizing than I imagined. A job well done! Please extend my thanks to the pilot.” Celeste beamed and stepped off of the plane.

“You really liked flying that much?” Matt asked, sounding more than a little surprised.

“Well, I confess that I was unnerved for most of the flight. But then, Matt?” She stopped them in a crowd. “Justin texted me.”

“Okay. And?”

“Matty, he said wonderfully kind things to me. He said… he said…” Celeste was now uncertain how, or if, she should tell him. “Well… that he… had feelings of a certain nature….”

Matt frowned. “What the hell do you mean of a certain nature? I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Matthew! Not that nature! The sweet sort.”

“Oh.” He relaxed his expression. “Oh. Then, I guess that’s okay. I mean, that’s good.”

“He is quite romantic.”

Matt nodded and started walking again. “Then let’s go see him.”

Celeste followed Matt, suddenly a bit nervous with anticipation. But then they passed by security and took the escalator downstairs. And he was there.

Justin stood looking up at them as they descended, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, a baseball hat pulling the hair from his face so that she could see every handsome feature of his face. When they reached the bottom, Matt had to nudge Celeste forward. She couldn’t stop staring, could barely remember how to walk. Justin didn’t move either, seemingly as transfixed on her as she was on him.

“Oh God, go. Go get him,” Matt said with a laugh. He shoved her forward until she walked slowly toward Justin.

Nearly crippled by the sight of him, she couldn’t get herself to move faster. But then she involuntarily let out a sound, a near cry of emotion, when his arms clutched her to his chest and held her body against his. She squeezed back, not able to get enough of him. The only reason she eventually pulled away was for one reason. His mouth. The urgency to kiss him.

So she eased her head back, letting her lips find his. How she had missed this. Missed him. Just as Celeste’s tongue started to touch his, he pulled back. “Boy, do you taste like bourbon.”

Celeste blushed. “Oh no…”

“And also gin. And you’re delicious, and I’m going to give you that proper kiss I promised, but right now your brother is glaring at me.”

“Oh! Indeed.” She got her breathing under control, and turned to Matt, slipping her hand into Justin’s. “Sorry.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s okay. Hi, Justin.”

“Matt, good to see you!”

Celeste smiled when they shook hands. Matt genuinely did seem to approve of her boyfriend. That was important to her.

“Look, we need to rent a car, but the fact is I’m likely still hammered out of my mind, so you’ll need to drive. Justin, would you mind leading us to our hotel? I don’t think either of us should be responsible for locating anything right now.”

“Of course. Where are you staying?”

Matt shrugged and laughed at himself. “I have no idea.” He checked his phone. “Apparently someplace called The Grand Del Mar?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why? Is it a dump?”

“Um… no. Quite the opposite. You’ll like it.”

Matt continued staring at his phone and shaking his head with a bemused look. “It also seems that I reserved a car already. It’s being delivered here.”

“Well, all right, man!” Justin patted him on the back. “Nice going?”

“What?” Celeste was confused. “What does this mean?”

“It means,” Justin said, “that your brother rented a luxury car that’s not available for rental from any old regular agency. I like how you think, Matt,” Justin said tapping his head with a finger. “I really do.”

Thirty minutes later, Celeste was behind the wheel and following Justin’s old two-door Ford. “I am flabbergasted at your choice of vehicles, Matty. This is quite unlike you.” She shifted the car into fourth gear and sped up. “If you ask me, a black Corvette convertible is a bit much for our needs. And perhaps on the cliché end, although not that I am complaining. The weather is magnificent. I gather this is unusually warm for this time of year, but the wind feels lovely. It turns out that I may very well have been a race car driver in another lifetime. If I believed in other lifetimes, that is. But this convertible? Not what I would have expected from you. I don’t even remember you ordering this. I mean, Matt, you had to make special arrangements to have this car waiting for us.”

“Just let me have my mid-life crisis.” Matt had his eyes shut and his head tipped into the headrest while the wind blew his hair around.

Celeste had tossed hers into a bun on the top of her head so that she could see enough to drive. “You are too young for a mid-life crisis. But I will enjoy whatever episode you are having.” She took a corner hard, reveling in the control. “I quite like this vehicle.”

“Please don’t kill us before we get to the hotel.”

“I shall not kill us because based on the first-class airplane seats and now this car, I cannot wait to see the hotel. Oh, here it is!” She pulled up to the hotel behind Justin’s car, driving past a lit-up fountain and under illuminated palm trees, and let the valet help her from the car. “Matthew, the Grand Del Mar is indeed grand! I had no idea that you had such good taste. Given your wardrobe and general chintzy nature, I am entirely shocked, albeit delighted.”

Justin left his car for the valet and strode over to the Corvette.

Matt looked at the outside of the hotel and just shook his head in disbelief. “Justin?”

“Yeah, Matt?”
   



“Oh God. What have I done?”

“Look, you treated yourself to a nice hotel. So what?”

“Okay, yeah. You’re right. So what?”

So when they all stood at the desk and the clerk confirmed their two-bedroom suite, Matt simply nodded as though this was exactly how they traveled all the time. Celeste was awed by the massive arches, the wide wrought iron staircase, and the marble pillars and floors. But Matt didn’t so much as flinch when they walked into the living room of the luxurious suite, or when he looked out the window to see the stunning view and the glowing moon. He simply flung himself onto the striped couch and smiled sleepily. “This was an awesome idea. Do you know they have a pool? I’m never leaving this place.”

Celeste put her hands on her hips. “You are having some sort of severe psychiatric break, are you not? You could have changed our room to a more reasonable one, you know.”

“I don’t care. I like this room. It’s very distinguished and formal. Perfect for you. I want to keep it forever. Let’s move in here. Let’s never leave. Let’s have more of those crazy Old Fashioneds.”

It was all she could do not to stomp her foot. “We are never drinking Old Fashioneds again. Look at us!”

“I know, right?” Matt giggled. “We’re awesome.”

Celeste sighed as Justin rubbed her back. “Fine. We are rather awesome. And one of us is most definitely still intoxicated and should not have continued drinking on the airplane. But if it were not for the multitude of cocktails, I would not be here with Justin, so I can thank alcohol for that. But from now on, we are staying away from it.”

“I think I should get to bed,” Matt said. “I feel heinously awful.”

“Well, for heaven’s sake go sleep in one of the expensive beds that you paid for.”

“I should probably get going…” Justin started.

“What?” Celeste said with alarm. “No, you mustn’t go. You can’t.”

“Well…” He tipped his head toward Matt.

“Matthew, may Justin stay for a bit?”

“Sure.” Matt pulled himself up. “On two conditions. One, if you ever tell Mom and Dad, I’ll disown you as my sister. Two, if anyone takes off even a single item of clothing, I—”

“Matt!” Celeste said loudly. “Honestly!”

“Yes, honestly.”

“I can go, really,” Justin said.

Matt yawned and got up, now squinting and shuffling to the far bedroom. “It’s totally fine. I’m just giving you a hard time. I was young and in love once, so I have a vague memory of it. I get it.” He leaned on the door jamb. “‘Night.”

Celeste couldn’t help herself. She rushed across the room and flung her arms around him. The sad, even bitter, edge in his voice pained her. “Thank you, Matt. Thank you for this trip. And for being with me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Calm down. Don’t be up too late. It’s four in the morning or something.”

“It is only one o’clock. Time change, silly.”

“Whatever. Stay up all night.” He shut the door. “But all clothing stays on; or someone loses an eye, and it won’t be Celeste!” he shouted from his room.

Justin dropped his head onto Celeste’s shoulder. “Really. I should probably go. I don’t want to upset Matt. And you must be exhausted.”

“I am tired. Very tired. But I cannot bear to have you leave. Please stay.” She hesitated, but then said what she felt. “I want to fall asleep with you. Would that be all right?”

“I’m so glad you said that.” He nuzzled his face into her and kissed her neck softly. “I would like nothing more.”

She smiled. “I believe that I must take a shower and brush my teeth. I cannot possibly smell anything less than questionable.”

“I’ll take you in any condition, but you may feel better after a shower.”

She led him into the second bedroom and then stopped short, causing him to crash into her.

“Ugh, sorry. I knew I couldn’t get through the night without doing something klutzy.”

“No, no. That was my doing. Justin?” She couldn’t look at him. “I am suddenly aware that I am taking you into a bedroom. And that may indicate… something… um, something…”

“I know. And I understand. I told you that I’m not like that, okay? And I can still leave now. I just want to be close with you. That’s all.”

“I want that, too.”

He zipped in front of her and jumped onto the bed. “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate a fancy hotel bed. It’s good for bouncing, see?”

Celeste left Justin to bounce and took a steaming shower in the luxurious bathroom before slipping into one of the hotel robes. “Justin, would you hand me my bag that I left out there?”

“Of course, doll.”

She cracked the door and took her bag. She looked through it for a moment and nearly screamed. “Oh perfect!”

“What’s the trouble?”

“It appears one should not pack for a trip after drinking. I have an unusual assortment of items, but we are in luck should either of us require knee socks with rainbows and unicorns. My mother thought they were a funny Christmas gift. Well, I’ll just have to make do.”

“But, but, but I might have interest in the unicorn socks!” Justin teased. “Unicorns represent purity, and truth, and strength, and stuff like that. I like to wear my value system on my feet.”

“You will do no such thing.” Celeste emerged in soft shorts and the All This Science Gives Me a Hadron shirt that Matt had given her. “Please do not acknowledge this shirt.”

Justin raised his eyebrows. “You want me to pretend it’s not there? That you’re not wearing a top? If that’s what you want…”

“Justin!” Celeste laughed.

He softened his look. “Come here, you. You’ve got to get some sleep.” He pulled back the bed covers for her.

“I do.” She turned off the lights so the room was barely lit by the lamp in the living room.
   



Celeste slipped under the sheet and Justin lay on his side, his head propped on his hand. He kissed her cheek, then her lips, very gently. “Sleep, baby.”

She was exhausted now. Drained and overwhelmed, and desperately needing to fall into a deep slumber. Justin started to move from the bed. “You’re leaving?”

“Call me when you get up, okay?” he whispered.

“Stay,” she said. “Stay.”

“Sleep here?”

“Yes. I want to wake up with you.”

He dropped his head down onto the pillow. “And I want to wake up with you.”

“I like that I can say that to you.”

“I like that you can, too.”

Celeste rolled into his chest, and Justin’s arm moved over her waist. And enveloped in each other, they slept, and they dreamed.





Watching Perfection

Waking up in San Diego was less disorienting than Celeste would have imagined. That may have been because she was in Justin’s arms, he on his back and she with her body in the crook of his arm and her head on his chest. She felt whole and at home. It was odd, however, that she felt so physically comfortable with someone she wasn’t able to see on a regular basis. But she did. And she wouldn’t question it now because who knew how many times she would have this opportunity.

She glanced at the clock to see that it was just after eight. He had not moved from her all night, but was now under the covers, still close to her, with his legs entwined with hers. Celeste eased down the covers and slipped into the bathroom to brush her teeth. This may be the first time that she was waking up next to a boy, but she had common sense. When she had freshened up and run her fingers through her hair, she returned to her spot in bed and in Justin’s hold.

She placed her hand on his chest. In the early morning light, she watched the way her hand moved with his breathing. It was watching perfection. Her hand slowly moved over his shirt, up to his shoulder, down his arm as she explored the shape of his body while he slept. Celeste slid her hand down to his waist, accidentally catching the hem of his shirt. Then her hand was on his stomach, his skin hot and wet.

Never had she felt this way. She had to laugh at herself; this was by far the most intimate moment of her life, and the other person wasn’t even conscious. She hoped this wasn’t creepy, but touching him, feeling his body under her hand… Well, she didn’t know exactly what she wanted, but she wanted something. And she was scared out of her mind about what she might want. But nonetheless, she let her fingers inch up under his shirt a bit more. Justin sighed in his sleep and rolled to lie facing her, and she eased her palm over his waist to his lower back. His workouts must be more frequent than he let on, she decided, because she could feel how toned he was, the dip of his spine surrounded by muscle. She’d known he wasn’t so muscular that he was bulky, but it was only now that she felt how defined his body was.

Oh God, what was she doing?

Justin stirred, smiling even before his eyes were open. “Well, hello. This person reaching up my shirt better be who I think it is, or I’m gonna freak out.”

Celeste pulled her hand away quickly. “Sorry.”

“Oh good, it is you,” he murmured. “Why is there stopping? Why is there no more hand being all cute and awesome?”

“Because you woke up.”

He considered this for a moment. “You can’t touch me when I’m awake?”

“I’m nervous.”

“About what?”

“What I’ll do. What you might do.”

“You don’t have to be nervous. Nothing’s going to get out of control.”

“It isn’t?”

“No. I’m not going to let anything happen.”

“Oh.”

He opened his sleepy eyes. “Not because I don’t want anything to happen, because believe me I am a perfectly horny college boy. But I’m assuming that since I was your first kiss, every step will be a first. And firsts are important. Or they should be. So we go step by step when each feels right. We don’t just jump down a staircase. Or jump up it. Whatever. My metaphor sucks. I’m not awake yet. The point is that I’m not about to rush ahead, and neither are you.”

“In that case, good morning.” She returned her hand to his back and moved her fingers over his skin.

“I can’t not taste you any longer.” Without saying anything else, he lifted his shoulders from the bed and leaned over her. His mouth grazed over her neck, the tip of his tongue running over her as he kissed slowly down to the top hem of her shirt. Her totally unsexy, geeky Hadron shirt, of all things! Celeste was going to kill Matt. He’d better improve his gift-giving skills by next Christmas.

Matt. She’d forgotten about him. The bedroom door was open. He had to be sleeping still, right?

She lifted her chin as Justin moved his kisses up one side of her throat and over to the other side. There was this one particular spot, she discovered, just below and behind her ear where she really, really quite liked having his mouth. That spot, the way he lightly sucked her skin, made her body tremble. She would have been disappointed when he stopped, except that his lips were then on hers, his chest barely touching hers as he held himself over her.

When he’d kissed her as deeply as he had assured her he would during last night’s texting, and when the outside world had all but disappeared, he stopped and rubbed his nose against hers. “We need coffee. We have a big day.”

Celeste liked coffee as much as the next person, but it was significantly less enticing than what they were already doing.

“Yes. Coffee is important,” she said halfheartedly.

“Don’t sound so sad.” He kissed her cheek and rested his mouth by her ear. “Believe me, I’d like to do this all day, but your protective brother is next door, and I want to keep both of my eyeballs. Besides, I want to show you the city.”

She nodded, trying to regain control of herself. Justin was right. They needed to get out of here.

“Hey, Celeste?”

“Hey, Justin?”

He continued to whisper in her ear, hiding his face from her. His breath and the sound of his voice were driving her wonderfully crazy. “Are you okay with what I said last night? When you were on the plane?”
   



She smiled. “Were you okay with what I said?”

“I asked you first, silly, but I was damn thrilled with what you said.”

“I was very much okay with what you said.”

“It’s all right if you want to change your mind. You might have felt pressured. I mean, not the cabin pressure, although that could have messed with your ears and made you dizzy and unable to think clearly. Have your ears popped yet? Did you know about popping ears? But, you know, if you felt emotionally pressured because I said something that—”

“Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“I did not feel pressure, cabin related or otherwise.”

“Good.”

It was another fifteen minutes before Justin insisted that they really had to get out of that room because he could feel one of his eyes developing a stabbing pain at the thought of Matt waking up.

“I want to take you to Barton, so you can see where I go to school. We can have lunch there and hang out. You cool with that? Is that all right? Do you want to wake up Matt?”

“Yes, I shall check on Matthew.”

“I’ll jump in the shower real quick. We can stop by my room so I can change, too.”

Celeste remembered her unsuitable packing job. “I may need to borrow a sweatshirt or something. I’m not sure what I have.”

“I would be more than happy to see you in one of my shirts.” Justin crawled out of bed, looking so dashingly sexy with his messy hair and rumpled clothing that Celeste actually checked to see if she was drooling. She didn’t know if that was just an expression or true physiological reaction that one could have when enamored, so she had to be sure. So far, so good.

Celeste had to stop herself from following her boyfriend into the shower. That was a crazy idea, of course. She wasn’t near ready for anything close to that, and yet there was a distinct pull for more contact with him. She took a deep breath and opened the curtains, trying to distract herself from the utter hotness that was now probably totally naked and lathering himself up with expensive hotel body soap—

She really had to stop this. Being flooded with outrageous sex-crazed thoughts was completely out of character. Of course, she’d never had a boyfriend before, or really even much of a crush, so reasonably, this was not abnormal. Just abnormal for her.

She stared out of the window. Okay, the view was extraordinary. Totally blue skies and full sunshine. As much as the whole idea of making out with Justin all day had sounded pretty fantastic, she simply had to get out to see this lush city. She found another pair of shorts, and tossed those on with a non-geeky layered, flowy cream tank top. It seemed that her drunken packing had not been entirely terrible. Her hair was unmanageable after having slept on it wet, so she yanked it into a high ponytail.

Matt’s door was shut, so she opened it just a crack to peek in. He was definitely still asleep. She checked the mini fridge and then left him a note pointing out that there was cold bottled water for him. When she opened the living room curtains, her need to get out into the city skyrocketed. She banged on the bathroom door. “Justin! I want to see the ocean! Can we see the ocean?” she said with excitement. “It’s sunny and wonderful outside. We must go!”

She heard him laugh. “Anything you want, love.” The shower turned off.

Celeste turned her back to the door and slumped to the floor. He called her love. What was happening? This was so much good, so much romantic, and so much categorically outside of how her life had been thus far. There was also the nakedness happening close by. That was out of the ordinary for sure. He was entirely unclothed behind that door! She had to stop herself from squealing. That would be undignified. One should be composed even in proximity of such a gorgeous showering boyfriend.

Her mind drifted. What he’d said about going step by step, she liked. He was right. That was important to think about, and it wasn’t a decision to make in the heat of the moment. The fact was that she was an eighteen-year-old young woman, and she knew it was perfectly normal to have such physical attractions. It was allowed; it was healthy. And she was responsible. It was good, though, that Justin was responsible too. He was so caring, so respectful, and so stunningly thoughtful. It only made her feelings more intense. Celeste closed her eyes, imagining what might be the next step, what she wanted, what would keep her comfortable…

Suddenly she fell back onto the tile as Justin opened the door, clothed, but dripping water from his hair. She looked up at him. “Hello.”

“Hello,” he said grinning as he knelt down over her, his head upside down to hers. “Whatcha doing?”

She reached up and took his face in her hands and pulled him in, sinking her tongue into his mouth with more assertiveness than she knew she had. When she was done, she continued holding him and said, “I want to see Barton. And I want to see the beach. And I want coffee. And more palm trees and sunshine. And most of all, more you. More kissing.”

“I can give you all of those. Promise. You ready?”

“I have a fear, though.”

“What’s that?”

She hesitated, but being truthful with Justin always made her feel better. “Will we be speaking with other students? With your friends?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not sure who’s around today.” He paused. “Why?”

“You know that I have difficulty in social situations.” Her voice nearly disappeared. “I do not want to embarrass you.”

He kissed her again. “Stop that.”

“It is a legitimate concern.”

“The only legitimate concern I have is that you will be appalled by the unhygienic state of my dorm room. Now, come on up.” He grabbed her hands and pulled her up to a stand. “No Matt?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No Matt. I have hope he might contact us later and join in our adventures. Er, well, not all of them.”

“Yeah. Agreed.”

When they were finally in the car, Justin handed her one of the to-go cappuccinos he’d bought. She took off the top to sip the foam, but stopped. It was the most beautiful cappuccino any girl had ever received, because a perfectly symmetric heart was floating in the foam.

“Of all the foam coffees you have presented me with, I do believe it is fair to say that this is my favorite.”
   



“Usually I cheat because I draw with syrup, so I hired a pro for the important one. I have no idea how they make pictures out of foam like that, but as an architecture student I’m annoyed with myself that I can’t do it. I should be able to build foam sculptures for you. Anyway… You like?”

“I like.” She placed a hand on his cheek, running a finger over his lips for a bit. “I like very much.” She leaned over from her seat and kissed him. It was all too easy to get used to being able to touch him. To watch him. To simply be in his presence and the power that was Justin.

He revved the engine and took them toward the Barton campus.

As they drove down a road that ran beside the ocean, Celeste’s phone rang.

“Hello, Julie! Guess where I am? You will not believe it.”

“You’re in San Diego. I got your message.”

Celeste’s heart nearly stopped. Immediately, she knew what had happened. What she’d done. The message intended for Justin had instead gone to Julie. Their names were right by each other on her favorites speed-dial list. “Yes. My message.”

“I’m dying to see you! I can drive down and get there for lunch and stuff tomorrow afternoon. Is that good?”

No, this was not good at all. This was a nightmare.

Or was it?

“Yes, that would be delightful. Justin and I shall pick you up, so simply let me know of your arrival time, and we will have lunch. The three of us. Justin, you, and me. A trio. Just a small group.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is violently perfect! Why would you ask?”

“Violently perfect? That’s an odd word choice…”

“I am in the car and about to experience a full day in a new city, so I feel that I deserve to use whatever words strike my fancy at a moment’s notice. I am feeling whimsical and robust.”

“Whimsical? Robust? Celeste, what is going on?”

“Sexual tension levels are at an all-time high, and there are linguistic repercussions!” she shouted.

“Oh my God.”

“Text me later. Can’t wait to see you!” Celeste hung up. That hadn’t exactly gone smoothly. And she couldn’t even look at Justin.

“So,” he said and made a big production of clearing his throat. “What was that you said about sexual tension?”

She put a hand over her face. “Perhaps we could skip over some of what you heard?”

He playfully pulled her hand from her face. “I like the sexual tension discussion! More of that! This deserves details!”

Celeste busied herself with retying her ponytail. “I got nervous and didn’t know what to say. I have some thinking to do in that area.”

“Really? Then you think and report back in later. Although not in essay fashion. I hate reports in general, but essays are so sterile and boring. How about with a pie chart? Or a diorama? Dioramas are fun. You could include little action figures. Although that might be creepy. I think my parents were very disappointed that I didn’t like action figures, I have to tell you. They have a collection of vintage superhero ones still in the boxes, but I was more about trains and building blocks. They hated Legos, probably because I left them all over the house, and one time Luka stepped on one and when he was screaming and hopping on one leg, he fell and landed on more and had Lego indents on his face for a few days. Oh, I missed my exit. Hold on.”

Celeste put a hand on his and then rubbed his forearm. She loved his meandering talk.

“Sorry, what were we saying? Julie called, that’s right. What’s up with her?”

“It seems that I called her instead of you last night and invited her to come down from Los Angeles to see me.”

“Oops. Isn’t that going to be weird with Matt here?”

“Extremely.” She was working over a plan in her head. “Although I am choosing to see this as a sign. It is my belief that Matthew and Julie still love each other very much. If we get them together over lunch, then I feel sure they can recapture their former romance. Or, rather, see that it is still there. Wouldn’t that be exciting?”

“Oh God, Celeste, this sounds very sketchy to me.”

“What do you mean by sketchy?”

“Like, that it’s not well thought out. Many areas for highly problematic angles and such. Unlikely to end well.”

“That is not very romantic of you. You should adopt a more positive attitude. We should show them they must fight for their love. Fight for all loves destroyed by the hazards of distance. They have something that is worth saving, and I know their connection remains after all this time. This could be very exciting!”

“You think they’ll see each other and the stars will align?”

“I do. Yes.” Celeste was pleased about the mix-up. It clearly did indicate some sort of aligning of the stars. She must have accidentally left a message for Julie for a good reason, and here it was. Matthew had seemed so down for so long, and she was about to fix that by reuniting him with his true love. It was all very romantic! “Can you suggest a waterside restaurant for lunch? I think that would be picturesque.”

“You bet. Tell her to meet us at Island Prime. You guys will love it.” Justin turned the car to the right. “Up ahead. That’s Barton.”

Together, they spent hours covering the campus. She saw Justin’s dorm room, which admittedly gave her pause as she was reminded of the impending roommate situation that she would face next year. Still, it was nice to see where Justin lived and where he was during many of their phone conversations. Now she would be able to picture him in his environment. His room wasn’t nearly as unsanitary as he’d led her to believe, so that was a treat. She leafed through his architecture books and saw some sketches he was working on, thoroughly impressed with his attention to detail and his creative side. She briefly met his roommate (during which time nothing vile occurred) and was then given a very thorough tour of the campus. It was beautiful, more beautiful even than in the brochure or online photographs. Mesmerizing, really. Brick and stucco and archways. Palm trees and flowers abounded. Justin didn’t complain once as she explored every inch of the library, nor did he mind taking her through each department building, even introducing her to a few professors who were working over the weekend. Justin bought them lunch at the student union and insisted on getting her a Barton College T-shirt, and she immediately pulled it over her tank top.
   



“You look good in my school colors.” He tugged on the navy shirt that had the school name in a pale green. “But you’d look good in any colors.”

It was late afternoon now, and they’d found a grassy spot on a hill that overlooked an area where students were gathered in groups, reading or studying or just talking. She saw laughter; she saw friends. She saw life.

Justin was leaning back on his arms, taking in the scene as she was.

“You are quieter than usual,” she said. “Are you troubled?”

“The opposite.” A warm wind blew over them, and he lifted his face into the breeze. “I feel better than I have in a while. I told you: you ground me. Being with you lets me pull myself together more.”

Celeste lay down, resting her head on his legs, and Justin stroked her hair. They stayed like that for a long time, relishing every minute in the warmth of their togetherness. According to Matt’s texts and pictures, he was busy at the hotel, soaking up sunshine by the pool and snacking on nearly every menu item, and he seemed happy. Or as happy as Matt got these days. He’d spoken to their parents and told some egregious lie about a trip to the Museum of Natural History followed by Indian food.

She would have stayed like this, in this glorious moment with Justin, for the rest of the afternoon if she could. However, they were interrupted by a group of students, all chatting at once and clamoring for Justin’s attention.

Justin eased her to sitting. “Celeste, this is Michelle,” he said excitedly.

Ah, Michelle from the Christmastime text mix-up.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Michelle’s dark waves fell over her face as she reached out a hand. “Justin didn’t tell us you were coming. How cool!” She introduced Celeste to the other students with her and then plopped down on the grass. “So this is perfect. Maybe you can help us out with something?”

“I should be happy to assist you if possible.” Celeste was excruciatingly nervous all of a sudden.

“We’re doing this play, and one of our girls is down with food poisoning. Don’t worry, it wasn’t from campus food. Anyway,” she said as she pulled out a binder from her bag, “we’re supposed to rehearse this huge scene, and we need a female actress. Any chance we could get you to run lines with us for a bit?”

“Run lines means that I read your friend’s role?” Celeste asked.

“Yeah, exactly.”

Celeste looked to Justin, and he gave her an encouraging look. “We’ve got time before we head to Sunset Cliffs. Go ahead.”

“You really don’t want me for this. I have never done any acting before. I may not be helpful in this situation.” Celeste protested.

“Please! You’ll be great. And you don’t have to memorize anything. Just read the lines and we’ll work around you, okay? I promise that there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Celeste nodded and took the binder that Michelle offered to her. She read the title and brightened. “Oh! The Importance of Being Earnest!” She looked at the people surrounding her now. “This is a delightful play. Gwendylon believes she can only fall in love with a man named Ernest, and quite the hilarity ensues when a man named Jack… Well, of course you know all of that. But I certainly admire this piece.”

“Awesome! We need you to play Cecily.”

“I am terribly sorry to hear that your Cecily has food poisoning, but I am most certainly a fan of this character. How wonderful.” Celeste could still feel her hands shaking, but she knew this play. Adored it, really. She could likely take on Cecily’s lines without even looking at the pages.

The cast initially stayed on their spots in the grass, reading from the script, but by the end of the hour, all were staged in front of Justin as they ran lines and moved as their characters would. Celeste got lost, fascinated by the way these acting students changed into character so quickly, how they dropped their roles when one made a goof, and how they moved their bodies and expressions for different scenes. Although she felt rather stiff and hesitant, she made an effort to add her own touch of flair to a few of Cecily’s lines, even eliciting some good laughter from the others.

A boy named Ronnie patted her on the back as they wound down. “You’re really good. I can’t believe you haven’t acted before.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You’re great. You should think about theatre. Where are you going to school next year?”

Justin was at her side then. “The poor girl has to choose between Harvard, Yale, Princeton… Oh, the endless list of pathetic schools goes on and on…”

She swatted him with a hand. “I have not decided yet.”

“Well, any of those will have a great acting program. You might like it.” He lifted a knapsack over his shoulder. “Glad to finally meet the famous Celeste.”

She shook hands or waved to everyone as the group disassembled. While Justin was talking to someone else, Michelle huddled in close. “Justin is damn crazy about you. I hope you know that. It’s so good to see him this happy.”

Celeste didn’t know what to say.

“Really. It’s not like he was a depressed mess before you, but… I don’t know.” She shrugged. “He’s in a good place. He’s got… light. If that makes any sense.”

“It does.” Celeste smiled at Michelle. “Justin gives me light, too.”

“I’m glad. Listen, I’ve got to run, but I’m going to get your number from Justin. His birthday is coming up in May, and my boyfriend, Kevin, is trying to figure out what to do. Maybe you’ll have some ideas.”

“Kevin is Justin’s roommate, correct?”

“You got it. And he’s hoooooooot!” Michelle sang out.

Celeste laughed. “I would be happy to advise you on a birthday celebration, although you may know better what is appropriate for college festivities.”

“Eh, you never know. Besides, the girlfriends of roommates should be in touch anyway, don’t you think?”

“Oh. Yes. I like that idea,” Celeste agreed. “I will make sure Justin gives you my contact information.” She paused. “Thank you for including me in your acting work today. It was most unexpected.”
   



“Cool. You rocked it, and I’m glad you had fun. Catch you later.” Michelle surprised her with a quick hug before she took off.

Justin said, “Matt just texted me again. He’s still by the pool reading a book called God Created the Integers and said we should go to dinner without him. He also sent a picture of a dirty martini, so I’m thinking there’s a hair-of-the-dog situation going on. Frankly, I might need a drink if I tried to read that book, too, but the point is that he sounded content and relaxed. Ready to go watch a corny sunset with your boyfriend? We should hustle if we want to catch it. Sun sets at five forty-three. I checked. It’s so awesome how you can find anything online, right? Like, we could find out about the world’s most giant lobster right now. Or watch a video on how to change the water filter in a fridge. Or learn how they make those weird gel thingies in running shoes. Or—Hey, are you with me? Oh, I’ve done it. I finally lost you because I’m impossible to follow.”

Celeste was transfixed on the campus before her. The buildings, the softening sunlight, the noise of students as they flowed over the lawn.

“Celeste?”

“Yes? Did you need to change a filter? Or find a lobster?” she asked with a glazed look.

“You okay?”

“Yes.” She watched someone send a Frisbee sailing through the air. Perhaps Frisbee was not to be as lamented as she thought. She slipped her hand into his. “I am ready for our sunset.”