The walls are white, and it smells like Germany. It’s the same stench I dealt with when I was recovering there after being held hostage for close to a year. Images of my mom flood my mind, her blood sprayed everywhere, her lifeless body lying in a pool of it. The images flash from her to my fellow soldiers, and back again.
I’ve worked my ass off not to go back to that place and now…here I am. My body is numb and every single ounce of energy is drained from me. I put my sleeve under my nose to try and block out the scent and attempt to focus on the TV. Unfortunately, my cell phone is dead so that’s out as a distraction. I’m not one to watch anything unless it’s sports, but I try. My dad is just as quiet as I am. I’m not really sure what to say to him in a time like this. We both just sit here, stunned.
You always fear that something of this caliber will happen, but you never actually think it will. My insides are knotted up, my stomach roiling. Vomit burns in the back of my throat.
“Nate?” I hear my name called and look to see who it is. “What are you doing here?” Amanda asks, walking up to me on a pair of crutches with her ankle all wrapped up.
Seeing her lifts my fog and brings a small smile to my face. “My mom was just brought in.”
“Why, what happened? It’s not her MS is it?” she asks coming towards us. I stand and hug her, unable to answer her question. The truth is we don’t know what it was yet. Tears burn my eyes, and when I pull away, I shake my head. “They are running tests now to try and figure out what happened.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she says.
“Thanks. How’s your ankle?” I ask her.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” my dad says. “Nate, I’m going to grab a coffee, do you want one?”
“Sure, thanks, Dad.”
“Please don’t leave because of me, Mr. Wilcox.”
“That’s nonsense, dear. I need some fresh air anyway,” he says and waves as he walks away.
“So how’s your ankle?” I ask her again.
“It’s fine. It’ll heal. How are you holding up?”
I shrug my shoulders and look her in the eyes. I’m not sure how to honestly answer that question. Right now, everything seems to be such a mess. Sitting next to me on the bench, Amanda wraps her arms around my waist and holds on to me. I hold her back, resting my chin atop her hair and try to calm my crazy thoughts.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks me. I shake my head, holding her a little tighter. With Amanda in my arms, everything feels better. She has a way of calming me. Maybe it’s because she’s become my best friend in recent months.
“Wilcox,” a doctor calls from the other side of the waiting room. My head flies up and I catch sight of my dad making a U-turn to head towards the doctor who holds the answers to our fate. I look down at Amanda as she smiles at me. “Go,” she says and I kiss her cheek.
“I’m Doctor Rosette. I assume you are Mrs. Wilcox’s family?”
“We are. How is she?” my dad asks.
“She’s resting. Her body has had a setback, if you may. There are many stages of Multiple Sclerosis and a lot of patients regress and bounce back over and over. Right now, we are dealing with her first serious regression. It’s going to take some time and some intense rehab to get her back to where she was. Her anemia is also really complicating the situation.”
My dad and I look at each other, neither one of us knowing what to ask next. “I realize this is a lot to take in. She is very lucky that the medics got to her when they did,” the doctor says.
“What does rehab mean?” I ask, wondering if there is anything that I can do to help with her rehabilitation. After all, I own a gym! And I can’t just stand by helpless doing nothing.
“MS is a tricky disease which attacks the central nervous system. Considering your mom’s fall and the current state of her reflexes, I think walking again is going to be quite the feat. But we have some great facilities that work with MS patients, and I’m hoping we can get her into one nearby.”
“Would she have to live there?” my dad asks.
He nods his head and rests his hand on my dad’s shoulder. Then his pager beeps and he looks down at it. “Here’s my card, if either of you have any more questions, day or night. I’m sorry I have to run, but it’s an emergency.”
The doctor jogs off and I can’t help but feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest. My mom is the rock our family. She means the world to me, and after losing Arion, I couldn’t bear to lose her too. A nurse approaches us and asks, “Would you like me to take you to see her?”