“I missed you, Livvie.”
Livvie took off her heels and set them beside the sofa. As she pressed her toes into the carpet and grabbed at the thick fibers, she smiled at me. She sat up straight, bending her knees so she could sit on her feet. It was a relaxed and casual pose. It was a good sign for things to come.
“All over the world, eh? Tell me about that.”
I stared at her for a second, but I relented. It was best to get it out of the way. I took off my shoes and adopted a more comfortable pose as well. There is nothing more unattractive than having to stop getting naked to remove one’s shoes. I like to think ahead.
“Yes. I looked for you everywhere and anywhere I could think of. If you really wanted me to find you, you could have left me a note in Mexico. It was the first place I looked.” I reached out with my right hand and stroked Livvie’s cheek. I loved that she let me.
“I didn’t think it was a good idea. The FBI knew you’d left me the money. I was afraid if I left you a note they’d know you were alive. I couldn’t risk it.” She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
I felt many things upon hearing her words. I was touched. I was angry. I was sad.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. They made you change your name.” I hadn’t counted on Livvie. I’d been too sick about Rafiq to believe she’d ever try to protect me.
“I like my new one.” She reached for my hand and held it on her knee. “I’d do it again, Caleb—in a heartbeat. I don’t know how you feel about it, but I want you to know I’m happy. I have a great life.”
“I guess that counts for something. If I’d let you come with me… I don’t know. I doubt you’d be the same person. I doubt you’d be as happy as you seem to be.” My own words gave me pause. I’d been right to leave her behind. Had I been right to return?
She gave me a sidelong look. Her smirk hinted at amusement, but her eyes promised retribution.
“You’re not off the hook, Caleb. If you hadn’t left me at the border with a gun, I wouldn’t have had to make a scene to get back into the country. They were barely even looking for me. So don’t give me that ‘all’s well that ends well’ bullshit.”
She got a chuckle out of me.
“Point taken. So how was your time with the FBI?” I was genuinely interested in what she had to say. I’d had some close calls in the past year. At the time, I assumed it was the FIA in Pakistan trying to find me. I was sure they didn’t appreciate Rafiq had gone missing, nor the fact he had been connected to the Zahra Bay'. I played with my life every time I went into the country. I wondered if the FBI had been looking for me too.
Livvie looked sad for a fleeting moment before she plastered a smile on her face.
“I’ll get to that. There’s a lot you should know. First, I want to know how you found me. I want to know what you’ve been up to. I don’t want to have to change my name again.”
“What happened to doing it again in a heartbeat?” I provoked.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said and nudged me with her knee. I let out a defeated sigh.
“After Mexico, I decided to try your old neighborhood.” Livvie looked aghast. I was quick to reassure her no one had been hurt. “I didn’t talk to anyone. I couldn’t take the chance. I waited outside your former apartment building, but I realized pretty quickly your family didn’t live there anymore.” I inched a bit closer to Livvie on the sofa. I didn’t move so much she’d notice—at least not right away. “I must have scouted the bus stop for weeks, just hoping. Which, in retrospect, was pretty dumb. Why would you go back there?
“After your old neighborhood proved fruitless, I remember you talked about your friend Nicole. And before you get all huffy—I didn’t talk to her either. I just stole her laptop.”
“Caleb!” Livvie admonished.
I shrugged unapologetically.
“Are you glad I found you or what? Your whereabouts weren’t just going to fall out of thin air.” I practically dared her to tell me there had been another way. “I found an email that could only have come from you.” I moved a tiny bit closer. I don’t think she realized. “You sounded really sad. You mentioned going to the Eiffel Tower by yourself. Someone stole your wallet. It was months after the incident, but I still worried for you. You said you weren’t over me.”
Livvie looked away from me. She had tears in her eyes and she was working hard to make it seem as though she didn’t. While I didn’t necessarily relish her pain at the memory, it boded well for me. It made me believe there was a chance for us.
She cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes with the back of her finger.