THE NOT-SO-DARK DAYS…
“You’re going to get crabs or Chlamydia or Gonorrhea or—” Pepper drones on but I slap a hand over her mouth.
“Pep, I use condoms. Chill. You need to get out more. When was the last time you got laid anyway?” I really want to know the answer.
“Ugh, don’t change the subject. I’m serious, I worry about you. Does Dr. Sweeney know that your idea of ‘dating’ really means f*cking anything with a penis?” She pops her gum at me.
“No, Pepper. Dr. Sweeney and I don’t get into the specifics. He says he’s proud of me for dating,” I sass back at her.
“Does he know your vag gets more business than a Seven Eleven with buy-one-get-one-free slushies?” She cocks an eyebrow at me.
“That’s just gross. You can’t compare my vag to a convenience store!”
“But it’s so convenient,” she laughs.
I stick my tongue out at her. Pepper the bitch. Pepper, my best friend.
We walked in the next morning holding hands. People weren’t going to know what to think about us. Bray was asking Margie something when he saw us. He took one look at our hands, shook his head, and stormed into his office. Whatever, Bray.
Jackson glared after him. “A*shole,” he muttered under his breath.
“Jackson! That’s enough. You guys need to get along,” I chided him. He mumbled something and walked into his office. Before I could power on the computer, Bray was standing over my desk.
“You ready to go the meeting?” he questioned, no hint of a smile on his face.
“Uh, sure. Let me tell Jackson really quick.”
I stepped into Jackson’s office, and he motioned for me to close the door.
“Jackson, I’m about to leave for that meeting with Bray. I just wanted to let you know.”
He stood and then stalked over to me. I could feel the heat of his chest close to mine. His hand slipped under my skirt and I gasped. Growling, he slid his finger over my silky panties, rubbing my sensitive area. “Just making sure you were wearing panties. I don’t want Bray getting anymore sneak peeks.”
I melted to his touch. Any time his hands were on me, I couldn’t help but ignore everything around me. The silk of my panties were getting wet as he continued to stroke me under my skirt. I was about to come when someone knocked on the other side of the door.
“We need to leave, Andi.” Bray sounded agitated from the other side.
“She’ll be out in thirty seconds,” Jackson barked to him as he continued working me beneath my skirt. When I felt my orgasm crash over me and a moan start to escape my lips, Jackson smothered it with his own lips, kissing me as I rode it the rest of the way.
When he was sure I was finished, he pulled away. “You’re my girl, not his,” he growled. As if I needed reminding. He pecked me on the lips and then opened the office door. Bray stood on the other side, arms crossed.
“Come on, Bray. Let’s go,” I spoke evenly, trying not to sound flustered. He led the way out the door and I smiled as I felt Jackson’s eyes on my ass as we left.
The Higgins office was just a few blocks away so the cab ride was short. I was still peeved at Bray for going ballistic on Jackson yesterday afternoon, so I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Finally needing to break the silence, he cleared his throat and spoke.
“Andi, I’m sorry about losing my shit yesterday. I saw the bruises on your wrist and I flipped out. The thought of him hurting you pissed me off. It went further than it should have because quite frankly he’s an ass and I’m already sick of him,” he said gruffly.
“Well, you two guys need to get along if you plan on working there for much longer. He’s part owner of the company. You’re just an employee. If you piss him off too bad, he’ll fire you,” I explained.
“Nah, he’s bound by contract. I signed for a year. He isn’t that stupid, especially with all of the lawsuits he’s already involved in.”
Lawsuits? “What lawsuits?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.
“Nothing. Just forget about it. So Mr. Higgins is an old man—a dirty old man. That’s the real reason I brought you,” he admitted, face displaying a shit-eating grin.
“What? You set me up, you a*shole!”
He laughed. “Yeah, I figured we might land the account if you came along. He’ll be so busy looking at those long legs that he won’t care about much else.”
I punched him in the arm and rolled my eyes. “You’re so full of shit.”
We got to the conference room a few minutes late. When we walked in, I realized Bray was not full of shit when the old man unabashedly checked me out. Good thing Jackson wasn’t here.
“Mr. Greene, so nice to have you. And who’s the exquisite woman you have with you?” he questioned Bray like I was just a trophy rather than a person. I had to try really hard not to roll my eyes.
“This is my friend and co-worker, Andi.”
I shook Mr. Higgins’s hand, and when he held on to it for a moment too long, I refrained from jerking it from his grasp. He finally let go, and I took the seat next to him after he motioned to it.
Bray got right down to business and presented his information to Mr. Higgins, who was too busy looking at the hemline of my skirt to pay attention to anything he was saying. Bray winked at me as he slipped the contract in front of Mr. Higgins, who reluctantly peeled his eyes away from my legs.
Scribbling away his signature, he returned his gaze back to my legs. Bray was definitely going to get an earful the moment we left this godforsaken room.
Bray was stacking up the papers to put them back in the folder when the old man licked his lips. My anger boiled over and I snapped.
“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” I spat through my teeth.
His eyes jerked up to mine and he guffawed loudly. “Mr. Greene, you have quite the feisty secretary here,” he grinned over at Bray.
He just nodded and smiled, shaking Mr. Higgins’s hand. “Good doing business with you, Mr. Higgins. We’ll be in touch,” he promised, heading for the door.
Mr. Higgins’s eyes perused my body once more before I was able to get out of that conference room. That was absolutely the most disgusting man I had ever met.
Bray got the silent treatment until were downstairs and outside.
“You are such a jerk! I was your distraction for that pervert!” I yelled at him.
He doubled over in laughter. “You should have seen your face. I thought you were going to deck him.”
We chose to walk back to our building, enjoying the sunshine. Plus, it allowed more time for me to gripe at him about the whole situation.
Once we got back up to the offices, I noticed that Jackson’s door was shut. Giving Bray one more “go to hell” look, I sat down to check my emails. There was one from Pepper that made me smile.
Andi,
I miss my best friend. Want to grab lunch today? I have to have your impossibly difficult boss Jordan sign some documents for the sponsorship, so I’ll be in today. If I don’t get hauled off for clawing his eyes out, then let’s have a lunch date.
Pep
I grinned, no longer annoyed with the meeting with Mr. Higgins, as I typed her a response that I would go with her. We hadn’t seen much of each other lately, and I missed her badly.
“Is Jackie in today?” a voiced purred behind me. Something about the sensual voice and the way she had said his nickname that only his mother called him made my stomach churn. Swiveling in my chair, I took in the sight of a stunning woman. She was runway-model tall with impossibly long legs jetting out from her tailored coat. Her legs were tan and shimmered in the light. I was mesmerized by them.
The tap of her manicured nails on my desk pulled me from my gawking at her legs. Her breasts were practically spilling out of the top of her coat. She had large breasts for someone of her size, making me think they were fake. Breasts that perfect had to be fake. Her long, dark hair hung in delicate waves, framing her gorgeous face. Pursing her pink lips together, she waited for me to answer. I was immediately intimidated by her.
“Um, I’m not sure. I just got back from a meeting. Let me check. Can I tell him who’s here to see him?” I inquired, wanting to know the name of the beautiful woman who was about to meet with my man.
“Nadia Compton,” she answered, narrowing her eyes at me.
Jerking my head towards her, I felt my entire body go cold. My jaw dropped and I stuttered a bit, not knowing what to say to her.
“I’m his wife.” She watched me for my reaction, but I didn’t give her the satisfaction of one. I only smiled at her as I stood to inform Jackson that she was here. This woman was a calculating bitch. It was written all over her face. Jackson’s f*cking wife.
Snapping out of my shock, I stalked over to Jackson’s door and peeked my head in. He beamed at me, further pissing me off.
Smiling sweetly back at him, I reported, “Your wife is here to see you.”
His smile fell as a look of horror crossed his face. “F*ck!” he burst out, rubbing his hands across his jawline. “Andi, it isn’t what you think. We’re going through a really nasty divorce. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I promise we’ll talk about this after she leaves.”
I curtly nodded at him, lips pressed into a thin line before turning to Nadia. “He’ll see you now Mrs. Compton,” I seethed.
Winking at me, she sashayed into the office, shutting the door behind her.
That woman was a bitch. I could see why he was divorcing her.
When two hands covered my eyes from behind, I laughed because I could recognize that peppermint gum smell from anywhere.
“Pepper!”
She laughed and pulled her hands away, hopping on the top of my desk. Her hair was pulled up in a standard messy bun that was unique to Pepper. Today, something was different though. From behind her glasses I could see that she had on eye makeup, giving her already pretty eyes a more dramatic look.
“Pepper, oh my goodness, you’re wearing makeup!” I exclaimed.
She rolled her eyes at me. “It’s not a big deal. I do that sometimes, you know.”
But I did know and she did not do that sometimes. She could lie, but I saw right through it. Pepper was seeing Jordan and she wanted to look pretty. The smile on my face grew.
“Did you already visit with Jordan?” I asked.
“Nah, he isn’t back yet. He said he had a meeting and he’d probably be done by now but I guess it’s gone over. That’s okay. We’ll grab lunch and I’ll see him after.”
“It’s a date. Let me tell Jackson I’m going. He’s in there with his bitchy soon-to-be ex-wife. You just missed the bitch and all of the awkwardness.”
I stood up to go tell him when Bray came out of his office. “Hey, Pepper, how’s it going?” he asked, walking over to her. She hated Bray but chatted with him anyway.
I flung open the door to Jackson’s office without knocking. Bitch Nadia needed to know that she couldn’t just keep me out where Jackson was concerned. He was with me now.
But my mind had trouble comprehending what I saw, and it blinked with flashbacks to when I had walked in on Bray cheating on me last spring.
Bitch Nadia stood completely naked, coat crumpled on the floor behind her. Her hands had a grip around his tie and she and Jackson were kissing. His hands were on her shoulders.
“Holy shit,” I heard Pepper gasp from behind me. Bray’s strong arms hooked around my waist and pulled me from the scene in the office, closing the door between us and them.
From the other side, I heard Jackson cursing and Nadia screeching. I was such a fool. He had a f*cking wife he clearly still loved. What is wrong with me?
“Come on, Andi. It’s time for lunch,” Pepper grumbled, handing me my purse and grabbing my hand. Bray was trying to hide his anger with Jackson but his clenching jaw let me know that he was about to go off on him. I allowed Pepper to drag me out of the office and away from it all. The darkness was once again trying to creep back into my soul.
THE NOT-SO-DARK DAYS…
“He cried. Like a baby,” I confide to Dr. Sweeney, picking at the frayed edge of the sofa cushion.
“Why do you think he cried?” he asks me, his eyes flickering to the cushion I was further destroying but not saying a word about it.
“I don’t know. We’d only been out three times. That’s the rule. Three dates and you’re gone. It’s not that hard really.”
He writes something down into the notebook. I hate when he does that. It means I’ve said something wrong. Dammit.
“Do you have sexual relations on these dates?” he inquires, looking up from the notebook. Here it is—the moment I’ve been dreading.
“Yes,” I whisper, glancing back down at the cushion.
“I see,” is his reply and I can’t help but hear the disappointment in his voice. Tears filled my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Sweeney. It started as dates but then I felt like I could forget about Bray and everything that we lost by fu…—having sex with these guys. I really think it’s helping me. Dr. Sweeney, I swear it.”
He shakes his head and writes something else down before setting the notebook aside. He grabs a tissue from the box on his desk and hands it to me. “Andi, you can’t possibly think that being promiscuous is a solution to your depression from Brayden’s infidelity, do you? I can’t tell you what to do, but you remind me of my daughters. If you were my daughter, I would want someone to tell her that this isn’t the way towards happiness. I know you say you’re happy, but I don’t think you truly are.”
Damn Dr. Sweeney and his ultimate wisdom. Now I’m sobbing because I’m not happy. Sleeping around puts little band-aids on my bleeding wound, but they eventually fall. Thus, the need for a new one.
“I start my new job on Monday. I’m ready to put my life back in order, Dr. Sweeney. This is a promise to myself that, starting next week, things are going to be different.” At least I will allow myself one more little band-aid before putting things on the right track.
“I have faith in you, Andi. You’ve come leaps and bounds. You are stronger than this depression. Keep telling yourself that and you’ll be okay. See you next week. And I expect a full report on your exciting new job.”
My sandwich sat untouched as Pepper fired off a text to someone. I couldn’t eat. The thought of eating made me want to throw up. Jackson had been making out with his very naked wife in his office. It made me feel dirty and used, like I was the whore on the side. Those two had not looked like people who were in the middle of a nasty divorce.
I tore bits of my sandwich off and put them on the other side of the plate as I quietly thought about how sick I was. Sick of games. Sick of cheating. Sick of men. I was really going to make Dr. Sweeney work hard for his money tomorrow.
“I know what you’re doing. You’re playing with your food so it looks like you ate it. Andi, I’ve dealt with this before with you. If you don’t eat your damn sandwich, I will shove it down your throat. We are not going through that again.”
My eyes flew to hers. Her teary expression matched my own, but there was a determination in her eyes that made me pick up the sandwich and take a bite. The satisfied smile she gave me had me taking another bite.
After I had eaten most of the sandwich successfully without throwing it all up, she spoke again.
“I don’t know what was going on with Nadia and Jackson, but it looked really shitty. I’m so sorry you had to see it. And as much as I hate to say this, maybe you should hear what he has to say. Blocking out Bray after what happened didn’t help things out at all. At least even if Jackson tells you he’s getting back with Nadia, you’ll be able to move on. Promise me you’ll talk with him.”
I frown but nod because she’s right. The last five months had been pure hell after what had happened with Bray. I couldn’t allow myself to easily slip back into a depression.
We tossed our trash into the bin and headed outside so I could get back to work. The restaurant we had eaten at was close to my work, so the walk back was a quick one.
When we finally made it back to my desk, I noticed that Jackson’s door was open and the light was off. He’d obviously gone home for the day.
Pulling me in for a hug, Pepper whispered, “You’re going to be okay. I’m going to go in there and deal with dipshit Jordan. I’ll see you at the apartment later. We’re getting shitfaced tonight, Miss Andi.”
I laughed as she pulled away and her eyes twinkled with relief. She was watching for signs of a relapse but I was stronger this time.
Sitting back down at my desk, I returned a few phone calls and caught up on some paperwork. Jackson never called or emailed or even showed back up. He was probably f*cking Nadia right this moment. The rest of the day was torture as I counted down to quitting time.
Pepper had already stormed out of Jordan’s office hours ago, and Bray stayed buried in paperwork. Olive texted me to tell me she’d be out late working on another photo shoot on the other side of the city.
When five finally rolled around, I gathered my things quickly so I could leave. Then Bray stopped in front of my desk.
“Come on. I’ll make sure you get home okay.”
I looked up at him, seeing concern written all over his face. “Bray, I can manage. I’m fine, really.”
“It wasn’t a question, Andi. Come on. Let’s go.”
Shaking my head at his bossiness, I stood and walked out with him. The ride in the cab back to my apartment was a quiet one. Pepper wouldn’t be home from work until closer to six, so I let Bray in. He took a seat on the couch, looking around to take in everything that made this apartment our home.
“Want a drink, Bray?” I offered. He nodded, so I slipped into the kitchen and poured us each a glass of our favorite red wine. After today, I needed a drink. Chugging half of my glass, I quickly refilled it before heading back into the living room. He had moved across the room to look at some of the photographs I had taken.
“Andi, did you take these? They’re amazing,” he admired, sounding astonished. I felt a little embarrassed because they were more or less my secret little hobby that I used to get over him in the first place.
“Thanks. Here’s your wine.”
“So you want to talk about what happened today with Jackson?” he came right out and asked.
I chugged half my glass again before I spoke. “Not really, but I guess you’re going to make me anyway, huh? Do you and Pepper have ‘let’s help Andi’ talks? For as much as you guys hate each other, it sure seems like you both are on the same team.”
I walked back into the kitchen, this time grabbing the bottle and bringing it back to the living room with me. I plopped down in the middle of the couch and refilled my glass. Bray made his way back over, sitting beside me.
“Have you talked to him?” Bray questioned, sipping his wine.
I shook my head and quickly drank more wine hoping it would start to take affect soon.
“No. He hasn’t tried to contact me, which means he doesn’t want to. Clearly he wants to be with Nadia.” I blinked back tears because it f*cking hurt.
Bray patted my knee but left his hand there. I didn’t make any moves to pull it away. Instead, I drained the rest of my glass and chuckled darkly as the numbness trickled through my body.
He took his hand from my leg and grabbed my glass, refilling it for me. His hand slipped back to my leg, but this time he placed it higher on my thigh.
Feeling his touch comforted me on some level. It wasn’t that he turned me on—it just made me feel better.
“You know, Andi, you’re going to be okay. Look how far you’ve come after what happened this past spring. This is just a blip compared to that.”
It didn’t feel like a blip. Jackson was more than just a blip to me. And just because I wasn’t allowing the darkness to take over my soul again, didn’t mean that it was any easier to handle.
When I sighed shakily, a tear slipped out and splashed on my thigh. Bray slid his thumb higher up my thigh to wipe it away. The gentle yet intimate touch mixed with the alcohol sent confusing messages through my body.
I looked over at him and his own eyes burned with need. Not taking time to think about if this was a good idea or not, I flung my leg over him and straddled him in one swift move. I could feel his hard cock through the silk of my panties and the soft materials of his slacks.
Our lips crashed onto one another’s and I ground myself into him making him, making him moan from the contact. His hands jerked my skirt up my hips and slipped down into my panties, cupping my ass cheeks. We continued to kiss furiously. One of his hands moved around to the front and up under my camisole and jacket, finding my breast.
Gasping, I threw my head back out and shouted, “Jackson!”
Bray froze and pulled his lips away from my neck.
“Shit! I’m sorry Bray. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.” I started crying because this was wrong.
“Shh, Andi, it’s okay. I don’t feel right about this. We were kissing but you weren’t there with me. You’re still thinking about him because that’s where you would rather be. I’ve lost you forever, but I’m okay with that. You need to talk to him. I just want you to be happy.”
He removed his hand from underneath my shirt and the other from under my panties and used them to pull my skirt down some, even though I could still feel my ass sticking out. I leaned forward against his chest, burying my face, and sobbed. His hands wrapped around me and held me while I cried.
When the door opened, we both jerked our heads towards it. Jackson stood there with a shocked look on his face that was quickly masked by indifference. “F*cking unreal,” he muttered as he walked right back out, slamming the door behind him.
I was sure to him it had looked way worse than it truly was. “Shit, Brayden, this is so bad!” I screeched, scrambling off of him. I yanked my skirt down and ran out the front door after him, shoeless.
When I made it downstairs, he was storming his way to his car. “Jackson, wait! It wasn’t what it looked like,” I cried out after him. He shook his head and dropped into the car, shutting the door. The car drove away, leaving me there to sob, barefoot on the street.
“This is so messed up,” I told her as she stroked my hair. Brayden had left once Pepper arrived. They appeared to be tag-teaming me today. I had just finished telling her all the crap that happened and was letting her soothe me with my head in her lap.
“You’re right. It’s completely messed up, Andi, but this is life. You have to learn to deal with these situations. When he cools off, talk to him. He owes you an explanation for the same f*cking thing this morning.”
I didn’t say anything. I knew she was right. He had been quick to get pissed for the same thing. We needed to talk.
“The one good thing about it all was that you and Bray were finally able to put the idea of a possible reunion away. I think you both know that won’t ever happen again.”
I smiled because it was true. We were better off as friends. Even though we had once had a good connection, the heat I felt when I was with Jackson overpowered anything I had ever had with Bray. Dr. Sweeney would be proud at least of the healing that had taken place between me and Bray. He always said that I needed to forgive him. Bray would always hold a special place in my heart, but we could never become romantically involved again.
“Yeah, he says it’s like kissing his sister now.” I laughed at our earlier conversation.
“Gross, has he kissed his sister before? Shit, it’s like he’s got something to compare it to,” she teased, trying to sound appalled. She knows he’s an only child which doesn’t make it any less funny.
We burst into giggles as Olive walked in. She took one look at us on the couch and ran over to sit with us, pulling my legs into her lap. These girls were like my sisters. They were always there when I needed them.
The next morning, I dressed with purpose. I was going to figure out a way to win Jackson back. He needed to see that Nadia was no good for him and that I was. We had something hot and meaningful together. I didn’t want to throw it all away because of misunderstandings. I hoped that was really all that had been with him and Nadia.
Instead of a suit, I opted for a tight sweater dress. It was low cut, showing off my ample cleavage. It was shorter than my skirts, but I paired it with some heeled knee-high boots, attempting to not make it appear so short. Today, I was leaving the panties at home.
I made sure to straighten my hair, making my blond locks seem impossibly longer. My makeup looked sexy and dramatic. Glancing at my reflection, I smiled. I looked hot, and Jackson was going to notice. He always did.
My appointment with Dr. Sweeney wasn’t until ten. That gave me some time to seduce Jackson.
Once I arrived, I strode right into his office, closing the door behind me. He looked up from his paperwork and his chocolate eyes darkened when he took in my appearance. Forcefully tearing his eyes away from me, he stared back down at his papers.
“Can I, uh, help you?” he stammered, hoarsely.
I sauntered over and around to his side of the desk and perched on the edge of it. His hands gripped both sides of his chair, knuckles turning white as he tried to refrain from touching me.
“Bray was comforting me. For a confused moment, I thought I wanted his touch, but it was only because I was trying to cover up the hurt you had caused me. I even called him Jackson.” He smirked at that statement. “How do you explain what was going on with you and Nadia?”
“Nadia came in here trying to talk me out of the divorce. She’s a money-hungry bitch. When she came in, she dropped her coat and threw herself at me. I was trying to push her away when you walked in. After you left, I completely bitched her out. I had to go after that because I needed to completely cool off before I talked to you.”
He no longer could control his hand, and it slipped up to rest on my knee just above my boot. When I shivered from his touch, his eyes flew to mine, searing them with the heat in his gaze. I licked my lips, and his grip on my knee tightened, bruising the flesh. The space between my legs moistened as I anticipated more from him.
“Andi, things are nothing but complicated for us. I don’t see how this could possibly work.”
I spread my legs a little, giving him a preview, and he groaned. The bulge in his slacks was proof that he wanted me.
Ignoring his words, I slipped off the desk and knelt before him. His eyes melted me with their heat. Quickly, I unfastened his pants and yanked them down to his ankles. Looking up at him with hooded eyes, I licked the top of his shaft. His eyes rolled back in his head.
“Shit, Andi.”
Taking those words as encouragement, I wrapped my mouth around his large girth and began bobbing up and down. His hands found their way to my hair and he gripped tightly. I dug my fingernails into his thighs as I took him deep in my throat.
He cursed and pushed my head farther down, almost gagging me. But I relaxed as he pumped his orgasm down my throat. Pulling away, I licked the remaining semen off of my lips and his dick that had been falling flaccid jerked back to life. He really couldn’t resist my lip licking.
He was looking down at me, his face unguarded and full of love. I beamed back at him, mirroring his face. His look quickly turned dark as he stood up, nearly knocking me over as he yanked his pants up and fastened them. “Get the f*ck out of my office. Keep whoring around and you’ll get your ass fired.”
He was glaring down at me, and I suddenly felt like a fool. What was wrong with him? Tears rolled down my eyes as I awkwardly rose to my feet. His gaze softened for a split second but was fleetingly masked by one of hatred towards me.
Who was I kidding? This man harbored secrets that wouldn’t allow him to get close to anyone. He’d proven it time and time again. My heart was going to f*cking hurt after this one but he wouldn’t break me. Been there. Done that. Not doing it again.
Straightening my skirt, I met his stare evenly. “You’re going to die a lonely old man if you keep letting your shriveled-up black heart control your destiny. This was your last chance. I am worth more than what you clearly think I am. Have fun finding a new assistant, because I quit. I would suggest you hire a man. I’ll send Jordan my formal resignation later this afternoon.”
Turning on my heels, I stalked out of his office and towards Dr. Sweeney’s.