Ash finished her freshman year of high school with phenomenal grades and received an award of overall excellence. Both Matt and I attended the ceremony, and he was beaming the entire time, like the proud dad that he was. When we left the auditorium that day, he hugged me for a long time and whispered, “You did good with her. Thank you. I’m so proud of my girls.”
My heart ached at his words. I didn’t know if anyone had ever told me they were proud of me, and there was no one in the world I wanted to hear those words from more than him.
The summer began and I knew Ash would get bored, so I signed her up for a summer photography workshop. As soon as Matt caught wind of it, he signed up, too. I knew he could have taught the class himself, but he just wanted the time with his daughter. Ash told me that once all her classmates found out who he was, he became a rock star to everyone, including the instructor. Ash told me he was even dabbling with a more artistic style from the documentary style that had made him famous.
It was strange how Matt and I were finding ourselves again; it was like we were picking up where we had left off, with both of us exploring our passions with renewed energy. Part of me felt like I was living the life I’d been meant to live. The only problem was that Matt and I weren’t exactly doing it together. We were running on parallel tracks.
One night, Ash seemed down.
“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said in a flat voice.
“Talk to me.” I sat next to her on her bed.
“Dad told me that he was offered a job in Singapore for National Geographic. He’s supposed to transfer in the fall.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What? When did he tell you that?” I could not imagine Matt leaving now after he and Ash had become so close and everyone was finally healing.
She started crying. “A long time ago. Like, right when we met, but now the thought of it makes me so sad.”
“What? I can’t even . . . when did this . . .” I barely knew how to respond. “I’ll talk to him.”
She wiped away the tears and stood up. “I’m so sick of you guys dancing around each other like you’re in junior high. I actually have friends with more mature relationships than the two of you.”
“That’s enough,” I said, sharply.
She stomped her foot. “No, I’m sick of it. You guys need a push.”
“Ash, that’s not for you to decide.”
“Well, maybe if you’d get over yourself, Dad wouldn’t leave.”
She ran out into the hall and into the bathroom and slammed the door.
“Ash, come back!”
I walked to the bathroom and pounded on the door, but she wouldn’t open it. After a few minutes, I gave up and went to my own room. I was angry. Upset. Confused. Was he really leaving? How the hell could he do this to us? To me?
Eventually, I heard Ash leave the bathroom and go to her room. When I went to check on her an hour later, she was fast asleep.
I called Tati and asked her to come over.
“It’s ten o’clock,” she said, flatly.
“I need to go to Matt’s and I don’t know how long I’ll be there.”
“Can’t you just call him?”
“No, because I need to punch him in the face.”
“Oh Jesus. What happened now?”
“Ash said he might be taking a job in Singapore. We just had a big fight about it, and I don’t know what the hell to do. Just come over, please.”
“Got it. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
After Tati got to my house, I stormed several blocks to Matt’s house, raging with anger. I rang the buzzer over and over again.
“Yes?” Matt said over the speaker.
“It’s your baby-mama. Let me in.”
I heard him laugh. “Come right up.”
When I got to the loft, he opened the door wide, smiling. “Gracie.”
“Don’t Gracie me, you bastard.” I shoved past him, threw my purse down, and crossed my arms. He looked scared. “What in the fuck, Matt? What is wrong with you?”
He leaned against the wall, perhaps to get as far away from me as possible. “What are you talking about?”
“Our poor daughter was in tears tonight because you told her you were moving to Singapore. Is that true? Because if it is—”
“Grace, stop. Listen to me.” It looked like he was searching his mind. “I mentioned to her that I got a job offer a long time ago, when we barely knew each other.”
“Well?”
“I told my boss I couldn’t take it.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “When?”
“After that night you came here. I never would have left anyway; I was just in a daze. I had requested a job in the field before I reconnected with you and met Ash.” He was sincere, pleading. “I feel bad that she’s been dwelling on it.”
“Yeah, well, kids do that.”
He came toward me and reached out for my hands and held them between us. “I’m still learning, Grace.”
I looked down and shook my head. “I know, I’m sorry. I overreacted. She was just in so much pain. I just couldn’t watch her go through what I went through . . .”
His eyes looked haunted. “I’m never gonna leave you guys. You have to believe me, Gracie. You have to.”
I stared at him hard. “Make me believe.”
He ran his thumb over my lip. “I will, even if it fucking takes me forever.” And then his lips were on mine and we were in it, pulling away from the past and rushing fast into the future.