~Declan~
"Goddamn it, woman! Why the hell is your front door unlocked again?" I bellowed as I walked into Leah's townhouse.
It was around noon on Saturday, a week after discovering Lilith Morgan's headstone. I'd like to say that Leah had returned to normal after that night we'd shared, but there were still times when I could see the sadness in her eyes. I knew one night wouldn't heal her, but damn if I didn't want to erase it all for her. I hated seeing her in pain, and I only hoped time would heal what her parents had put her through.
"I left it unlocked for you," she answered, coming from her bedroom. She was wrapped in a towel, still wet from the shower.
"You mean to tell me that you were just taking a shower in an unlocked house?"
She shrugged. She just looked at me and f*cking shrugged, like it was no big deal. She turned back around in her teeny-tiny towel, swinging that sweet ass behind her, as she retreated to her room.
Following, I exploded into a rant. "You drive me batshit crazy sometimes. We're stopping by the hardware store on our way out. You're going to get me a key, and from now on, you're going to keep that door locked. All. The. F*cking. Time."
"You're bossy today." She smirked while opening the top drawer of her dresser to retrieve a lacy pair of panties.
Coming up behind her, I pressed my body against hers, letting her feel exactly what the sight of her in that towel did to me.
"I just don't want any pervy men coming in here."
"Besides you?" she mocked.
"Exactly —hence, the key. Besides, you like me bossy," I countered.
I bent down to kiss the damp skin of her neck, and her head fell back onto my shoulders. I slipped my hands under the towel, pulling it apart, and it fell to the floor.
Keys could wait an hour...or four.
Suddenly, she turned in my arms and gave me a pointed look. "No."
She tried to look serious, but her slight grin had me laughing.
"No? Really? This again?" I faked a sigh.
"You're going to make us late."
"It's a Christmas tree farm. It's not like we have an appointment. We don't, do we?"
She laughed as she bent down to pull the panties up her legs. I had to shift in my jeans to accommodate the bulge she'd created.
"I still can't believe you've never bought a live tree," she said, shaking her head. "And no, we don't have an appointment, but if we don't hurry, they will close."
"It's the middle of the day," I half-whined, trying to pull her closer to the bed with me.
Laughing, she resisted my advances. Then, she continued to pilfer through her drawers before pulling out dark slim jeans and a tan-colored sweater.
"It will take an hour to get there, assuming traffic isn't bad," she explained.
She swatted my hand away as I tried again to make a pass at her.
Grinning at our little game, I asked, "Why are we driving an hour out of the city when there are Christmas tree lots on every street corner?"
"Because, city boy, those trees have already been cut. Going out of the city, into the country, and chopping down your own tree? That's Christmas to me."
Pulling her close to me, I tilted her chin, so I could see those crystal blue eyes. "Well then, let's go get you a Christmas tree."
~Leah~
"Oh! Turn here!" I exclaimed.
Declan took a sharp right onto the gravel road. "Are you sure?" he asked, briefly glancing my way with one raised eyebrow in disbelief.
"Yep. Positive."
"That's what you said the last four wrong turns, you know," he teased.
We had been lost out in the middle of nowhere for about thirty minutes. Siri had no idea where we were, and Google Maps seemed to be sending us in circles. The Virginia countryside was a virtual black hole to technology. I didn't have a map, and there were no signs. When we had seen the creepy scarecrow for the fourth time, we had known we were totally screwed. It would have been miserable with anyone else, but with Declan, it was just another outing. He didn't care that I'd gotten us lost. He'd just laughed every time we'd ended up at the same place where we'd started. He'd pointed out various land markings with a promise that he'd make a fire and build shelter if we never saw civilization again. My hero.
About fifteen minutes into our lost adventure, he'd asked how I'd managed to get us so turned around if I'd been to the place before. He'd assumed, based on our previous conversation, that this was a tradition for me. It wasn't.
I'd sheepishly answered, "I've never been here."
Rather than asking me to elaborate, he'd just grinned and said, "Well then, it's a first for us both."
When I'd said this was what Christmas was for me, I hadn't lied. In my head, this was exactly what Christmas should be. I'd always wanted to drive up to the mountains and cut down a tree. The years growing up when my dad had actually managed to remember it was December, we'd had a fake skinny green tree that was short, and the branches sagged when you tried to hang ornaments on it. Whenever I'd visited Clare's house, they always had a live tree, and I had known the tree was up the minute I'd walked in the door because the smell of had filled the entire house.
Ever since childhood, whenever I had seen an ad in the paper for this Christmas tree farm, I'd wanted to come here. But what lonely single girl would come to the mountains and cut down a tree all by herself? That would be kind of pathetic. I'd shrugged it off, telling myself I hadn't cared, and usually, I hadn't bothered with even putting up a tree most years. I'd always spent the holidays with Clare and her family, so decorating a tree for my home had seemed frivolous.
When Declan had called me this morning, he'd said, "What do you want to do today? I want to take you somewhere. Name anything, and we'll do it."
I'd instantly asked him to take me here, and he hadn't even hesitated with the odd request.
"Oh, I think I see it!" I said suddenly.
Declan jerked the wheel in the direction of my outstretched hand signaling him to turn. Sure enough, there was a sign that said, Lilac Greens Nursery and Tree Farm, with an arrow pointing us to our long-awaited destination.
"Yay! We found it!" I said happily.
Declan laughed. "You're just glad you won't be eating squirrel for dinner tonight," he joked.
"Damn right. Those things get stuck in your teeth. Wouldn't mind seeing you in a loincloth though," I teased, wiggling my eyebrows in his direction.
"We could definitely make that happen. I'll even get into character and bang my hands on my chest before throwing you on the floor and taking you like an animal."
"Um..." Yep, I had nothing. No witty comeback for that one.
My brain was suddenly playing out that entire scene in vivid detail, and there weren't enough brain cells left to speak.
"Rendering you speechless and flustered has become my new life calling, I think." He laughed before putting the car in park and leaning over to kiss my cheek. "We're here by the way."
"Huh? Oh!" I said, finally taking in my surroundings.
There were trees as far as the eye could see. Adjacent to the parking lot, a log cabin stood with large glass doors and a sign that said, Welcome. There were red bows and fresh wreaths everywhere. Christmas lights were strung on the roof of the cabin, and the surrounding trees were lit up even though it was still daytime. It looked like a mini North Pole, minus the snow.
We ventured out of the car, and I noticed it was a hell of a lot colder in the mountains. We made our way into the cabin, which served as the store. It was a Christmas lover's paradise. There were handmade ornaments, tree toppers, garlands, homemade treats, fresh cider, hot chocolate, and apple doughnuts. Oh my God. The apple doughnuts smelled like heaven in a pastry.
I took one look at Declan, and he instantly smiled.
"Doughnuts?" he asked.
This is a smart, smart man.
We bought an entire dozen and two steamy cups of cider. Along with our lifetime supply of doughnuts, the grandfatherly man at the register gave us a saw and directions to all the various types of trees before telling us to have fun. We headed out the door, and Declan looked at me and then looked down at the saw.
"That dude just handed me a huge-ass saw and just sent us on our merry way!"
I just laughed. He really was a city boy.
We headed toward the firs first. I liked the way they looked better than the spruces, and I thought they would hold ornaments better —at least, that was what I told Declan.
My real reason? Clare's family had always had a fir, and I'd known if I ever had a tree of my own, I wanted one that reminded me of the evenings I'd spent at their house while growing up.
We huddled in our coats with our apple doughnuts from heaven and our cups of cider as we weaved through the trees. I lost count of the number of doughnuts I'd shoved into my mouth after the fourth or fifth one. Between the two of us, we polished them all off in less than fifteen minutes. In our defense, they had been small. And they had been so good, so damn good. I made myself promise I'd go to the gym more that week, knowing that would never happen.
The mountain landscape was beautiful. All it needed was a bit of snow, and it would be perfect.
After a brisk walk, we finally made it to the part of the farm that held the firs.
Declan turned to me with the giant saw in hand. "Well, my queen, which shall it be?"
~Declan~
Leah looked around, bundled up in her red peacoat with her tight jeans and boots. She wore mittens and a matching hat to keep the winter air out, and all I could think at that second was how damn beautiful she was. She glanced around the trees, appraising each one by one, before moving on to the next.
When she'd asked me to bring her here today, I'd thought it was an odd request, but I had been game. With Leah, I was game for anything. After we'd started on our adventure, I realized she'd never been here, and I put two and two together. Leah, in her own way, was letting me in by showing me one of her fantasies.
The little girl that Leah had never gotten to be wanted a real Christmas with a real tree and a decorated house, and she'd asked me to bring her here —not Clare, not Garrett. Me.
Two months ago, I would have run away, feeling overwhelmed with responsibility I wasn't ready to handle. Now, I wanted nothing more than to buy out the entire Christmas section in every major department store and deliver it to her house, so we could decorate every square inch to make up for each minute of her lost youth.
I hadn't always had the greatest childhood. My dad was a dick, and my mom was a bit of a pushover, but they had given me a childhood. They loved me as best as they could, and I knew they had done what they could to provide for me.
"That's a mighty big ax you've got there, mister." Leah grinned before moving past me to check out another row of trees.
The scent of blackberries and vanilla from her perfume filled my senses as she drifted past, leaving me dizzy, and I quickly followed.
"That it is, ma'am...and I know how to use it. I think."
Leah turned, laughing at my confession. Hell, I had grown up with hired help and then moved to L.A. I didn't think I'd ever touched a saw in my life.
"This one," Leah said, stopping dead in her tracks.
Before her sat a perfectly shaped tree with dark green bristles and a straight round trunk. The man in the store had educated us on what to look for, and Leah had found one with all the checkmarks.
"How tall do you think it is?" she asked.
I walked up to it, comparing my six feet three inches against it. "Mmm...probably eight feet at the most. You've got ten feet high ceilings, so it will fit nicely."
She stood there, staring up at her perfect tree, not saying a word.
I closed the distance between us and whispered in her ear, "Is this what you want?"
Her breath caught, before her eyes found mine. "Sorry. What?"
"Okay, now, it's just getting too damn easy." I laughed.
She hit me on the shoulder, which only caused me to laugh louder.
"Are you saying I'm easy?" she asked, feigning indignation.
"Well..." I started.
She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, which only distracted me.
"I'll show you easy," she warned before taking off into a full run down one of the tree rows.
"Shit!" I cursed. Laughing, I dropped the ax and took off after her.
The trees were tall, and it was essentially like being in a giant green maze. I could see her head bobbing up and down every once in a while when she would turn directions. She might have been lighter, but I was quicker. I took a different turn, planning to cut her off. As she came around a corner, I caught her around the waist, making her squeal, as I lifted her off the ground.
"You have been a very naughty girl, Leah," I said.
She squirmed and giggled in my arms. Letting her body slide down mine, she froze as our eyes found each other. Still panting from our run through the trees, I gripped the back of her head and crushed my mouth to hers. She instinctively wrapped her legs around me as we kissed.
Breaking our kiss, she asked, "So, what is my punishment? Coal in my stocking?"
"No. After we take that tree home tonight, you're going to strip down naked and let me do whatever I want to you under it all night."
Her eyes sparkled. "Yes, sir."
After several wrong turns through the rows of trees, we found our way back to our ax, and I made my first attempt at cutting down a tree. I must have done a decent job because as soon as the sucker fell, Leah jumped me, telling me that was one of the sexiest things she'd ever seen.
As we dived into our second make-out session in the Christmas tree farm, I felt a tiny fleck of coldness hit my nose, chin, and then my forehead. I looked up just as Leah screamed in excitement.
"Oh my God, it's snowing!" Leah exclaimed.
As if her announcement were an invitation, the few flakes turned into a full-fledged winter wonderland, and snow filled the air. I picked her up and twirled her around while she laughed with her arms outstretched in the falling snow.
"Come on, snow goddess, we better get this tree back to the car. This weather is going to make getting back home interesting."
Making Leah drool again, I lifted the tree and lugged it down to the store. The man had some of the employees help us tie it down to the top of my rented SUV, and I went in and paid for it while Leah was distracted. I also picked up a fresh wreath and another dozen doughnuts for the road.
Our trip back to Richmond was uneventful, thankfully. By the time we got back to Leah's, there was an inch or two of snow on the ground, but the roads were still fairly clear. We hauled everything inside and spent the night decorating Leah's tree. We ate apple doughnuts for dinner, listened to cheesy Christmas music, and made the tree as tacky as possible. It blinked with every light bulb color imaginable, and it had some of the ugliest ornaments I'd ever seen. It was perfect.
When we finished, I looked over at a beaming Leah. "I believe someone has a punishment to serve...an early Christmas present, I think?"
"Ah, yes," she agreed.
In front of our tacky Christmas tree, the woman I was falling in love with slowly undressed, and then she let me make love to her all night long.
~Leah~
I knew I'd made a mistake in visiting him the minute I entered the house, but being the stupid woman I was, I walked in anyway.
"Dad?" I called out.
The house was messier than usual. Dishes were piled high with food so old that there was mold. I stopped breathing through my mouth as soon as the stench hit me. I knew better than to see him when he got like this, but I needed answers, and I was afraid I'd chicken out if I didn't go through with it then.
There was no answer as I continued through the kitchen. I made my way into the living room where I found him. Surprisingly, he was awake, sitting in the old recliner with a fresh drink in his hand. A half empty bottle of whiskey was in front of him on the floor. There was no coffee table. He'd never bothered replacing the one he'd smashed to pieces the night my mom left. He'd just left the living room with this big gaping hole, like a reminder of the hole we had been left with after she walked out.
"Dad?" I said again.
This time, he finally heard me. Turning his head slightly toward me, it took him a while before any recognition spread across his face. That meant he'd been drinking for some time, and that was my cue to leave...yet I stayed. God, I was dumb. I sat on the battered old sofa next to him, his eyes following my every movement as I picked up empty glass and garbage, but he didn't say a word.
"What do you want, girl? Did you bring me food?" he asked, his words sloshing together like the whiskey he was holding.
He loved whiskey. It was his god, and he worshiped it faithfully. He was the reason I, to this day, could never touch the stuff.
Girl —that was his name for me. He never called me daughter or addressed me by my first name. At this point, I wasn't even sure he would remember what it was. I'd been girl to my father for as long as I could remember.
"No, it's not Thursday. I'll bring you food on Thursday," I reminded him.
Without fail, I always brought him groceries on Thursday. He never remembered though.
"Well then, what the hell do you want?" he asked gruffly.
"I found Mom's grave the other day."
I watched to see his reaction, and there was none —no shock, no anger, no sadness. Nothing.
"Oh," was all he said.
"You knew," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut, wondering how deep the depth of my parents' deceit had gone.
"Yeah, I knew," he said nonchalantly as he shrugged.
He took a long swig of his drink before picking up the bottle from the floor and refilling the glass up to the top. My father always did this. He refilled his glass constantly, never letting it get below half full. I think he was scared of ever seeing it empty.
"Did you ever think of telling me? That maybe I might want to know my mother died eighteen years ago?" My voice grew louder as I felt the anger rise from my chest.
The man I called father whipped his head back to me, looking shocked by my outburst. Fueled by alcohol, his shock turned to raw rage. It was a look I knew all too well.
"No, I didn't think of telling you shit. And why should I? Your mother was a bitch and a whore. Why would I ever waste a breath saying anything about that woman?" he spat.
I got to my feet, not wanting to hear anymore. I'd come here in search of answers, and the only answer I'd found was more proof that my father had no soul, which was something I'd learned long ago.
"Don't you turn your back to me, you little slut. You're just like her, pretty and willing to spread your legs for anyone," he said, his words slurring again, as he rose from the chair. He swayed a bit, but he managed to right himself fairly quickly before he came after me.
"Turn around and face me, girl," he yelled, yanking my arm and forcing me back around.
Pain raced up my arm as he jerked me around roughly. His shouting hurt my ears, reminding me of the nights I used to lie in my bed with my pillows above my head, wishing someone would come rescue me. My parents had been loud when they'd fought, and it had been endless, but no one had ever come. In our neighborhood, domestic disputes were part of the culture, and no one bothered getting involved in each other's business.
"Dad, I'm sorry I came. I'll leave now, okay? I'll be back on Thursday with some groceries," I said softly, trying to calm him down. My hands were shaking, and I could feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest.
Still holding my arm, he squeezed harder, causing me to wince.
"You are one ungrateful bitch, you know it? Do you know how much it cost me to raise you? Do you have any idea how many hours I had to work in that shithole of a factory to bring home enough money to feed you?"
"I know, Dad. I'm grateful, really."
I tried to pull out of his grip, but he just clamped down tighter, his overgrown nails biting into my skin.
"If you were really grateful, you'd bring me a bottle of whiskey with those shit groceries you bring every week, or you'd give me some money every now and then. God knows I paid enough of it for you over the years."
"I'm not giving you money, Dad," I whimpered, tears running down my face, knowing I should have never come here.
My father yelled in frustration, and the blow to the head he gave me was the last thing I remembered.