Chapter 24
When they pulled up to the house, Crisis and Kite were sitting on the porch drinking beers, and Ream was leaning against the railing.
I unsnapped my helmet and passed it to Logan who placed it on the handle bars beside his. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair while avoiding his eyes. “I’ll, ah ... see you later. I better check on the horses.”
I turned, my heart in my throat and the familiar ache pulsating. Being with Logan today had been ... it was like the sun burning through the fog of my mind. And there in the brightness stood Logan and he was protective and strong and willing to do anything to repair us. Did I trust him? I believed him, so why was I hesitating on trusting him?
Logan tagged my hand and reeled me back in.
“No more running.” His thumb casually stroked the back of my hand, and it felt good. Really good.
“I’m not running—”
“You are.” He tugged, and I was up against his chest, breath seized, and he was watching me with those sexy heart-stopping eyes. “Why, baby?” His hands squeezed mine, and I felt that familiar warmth of his protectiveness come over me. He knew when I needed soft, encouraging words, or rough, harsh commands. He liked control; I got that and he did it well, I wanted that escape he gave me when I didn’t have to think and just felt. God, he knew me better than I knew myself. In Mexico there had been no trust; now our relationship had to have it more than anything.
“Logan. The trust between us, it’s still—”
He stopped me, leaning in and kissing me on the lips. It was hard, and it was sweet. When he pulled back, the soft skin on our lips held briefly together like when you touch your tongue to a dry ice cube. “Trust is built. Ours just needs to be rebuilt and it takes time. But baby, we’ll do it together.”
And for the first time, I gave into him completely. I let go of my head shit and what happened and took in what he was giving me—him. And God, it felt like the elephant sitting on my chest finally got up and walked away.
All chatter stopped, and three sets of eyes landed on me and Logan as we walked up onto the porch.
“Sweetness, looking mighty fine on that bike.” Crisis winked. “I’m thinkin’ now I need to get myself one.” His slight draw was sex on wheels with that voice and look. “p-ssy tight against—”
Logan interrupted abruptly. “And you know Kite.” I nodded to him, and he smiled. With those cheekbones and brilliant green eyes, he must have broken hearts in every bar they went. “Emily. Good to see you again.”
Kite had ink all over his arms, and the left side of his neck was a hawk or eagle in flight. He had a shaved head and several piercings, one being on his left eye brow. He looked scary, but he’d been sweet when he’d protected me against Matt’s wraith that night we snuck in to watch Logan’s underground fight.
“Hey, Kite.”
“And you know Ream.”
“Um, yeah. We met briefly at Georgie’s and again last night.” Kat’s sexy, hot monster that lacked a smile but oozed in sex appeal.
“Be right back.” Logan went inside, and the screen door slammed shut behind him.
I sat on the wooden swing chair, and it creaked.
“Haven’t seen Sculpt look so relaxed in months.” Kite winked at me.
“He’s been a f*ckin’ a*shole,” Crisis said.
“You’ve been the a*shole. With that shit you pulled with that chick’s boyfriend. Not doing us any favors,” Ream said. “You know you can leave the band any time you want.”
Whoa. I was uncertain what was going on, but Ream was glaring at Crisis, and Crisis was smirking.
The screen door creaked open, and Logan came out holding two cold beers. He passed me one then sat beside me, his thigh right up against mine. He put his arm around the back of the swing, his fingers weaving into my hair as he played with it.
“Sculpt says you’ve been doing well with the talking to horses thing,” Kite said.
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it talking to horses. But yes, I communicate to them in their language—body language you could say.”
“Know any other body language talkers, Emily? This horse could use a real talking to.” Crisis looked down at himself, and both Ream and Kite sprayed beer out their mouths.
Ream wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Don’t pay attention to him, Emily. He’s just pissed his little pony didn’t get any last night.”
Logan stiffened. “Jesus, guys. Enough.”
“Ream, what the f*ck’s your issue? On your monthly again?” Crisis set his beer down hard on the table beside him. “You all pissy because Kat asked me to go riding tomorrow and not you? Bet you’re wondering what kind of riding we’ll be doing.”
Ream was clenching his fists, and Crisis was smiling as if he wanted to fight. Logan leaned into me, his arm around shoulders pulling me closer as he whispered, “Baby. Shit, I’m sorry.”
Crisis took a long drag of beer. “Logan was brooding and quiet, Emily. I swear the only time he spoke was when we got up on stage. I don’t know why the f*ck it took him ten months to get back here. Jesus, if I was screwing something hot like you, I’d have been back to Toronto f*cking pronto.”
“Jesus, Crisis. Cool it.” Logan glared at him and was shaking his head back and forth.
“Two years you mean,” Eme corrected.
Crisis’s brow rose and he raised his beer to Logan. “You’re up, buddy.”
“Logan?”
He swept my hair back with his fingers then trailed a caress down the side of my face. “Took a while to get back. Needed some time alone after that shit.”
“What Deck was talking about?”
He paused and I thought he wasn’t going to tell me then he said, “Yeah.”
I didn’t push it. It wasn’t the time or place to talk about it, but I was glad that he didn’t close me down this time.
“Sweet mother of God, look at her.” Crisis stood, his eyes on Kat who was walking toward the house. She had on a pair of tight faded cut-off jeans, an even tighter turquoise tank top, and a pair of leather paddock boots. “I so need to get into her pants.”
Ream caught what Crisis was looking at, and I saw the instant tension go from his jaw right down to his feet. His eyes narrowed, and his brows lowered. His hands clenched the railing, and if the wood had any give in it, the thing was breaking under the pressure.
Kat walked up the steps.
“F*ck, babe. Lookin’ good. That sweet ass can sit in my saddle anytime,” Crisis said.
Kat laughed, but she didn’t object and sauntered close to Crisis and snagged his beer, chugging back half of it before setting it back down on the table. That was becoming a habit of hers. Her slow, long lick of her lips had Crisis groaning.
“Jesus, Kat. Put some f*cking clothes on.” Ream’s voice was bitter and cruel “You gonna screw everyone in the band like some groupie?”
Holy wow. Ream was raging mad. Like bull fighting mad. I could see his temples throbbing, and his lips were pursed together—tight.
Kat didn’t flinch, and I have to say I was proud of her. She smiled and put her arm around Crisis who instantly reciprocated by placing his hand in her back jean pocket and squeezing her ass.
“Least it’s only four of you. Not like you ... f*cking the hundreds of groupies who kiss your goddamn feet like they’re made of ice cream.”
“Oh they’re not kissing my feet, Kitkat. The ice cream is up a bit further,” Ream shot back.
“Yeah, cold and always melting.”
Insulting a man’s dick was the quickest way to him hating you, and it looked like that was what she was aiming for.
Crisis and Kite threw back their heads in hysterics.
“That’s only when you’re around,” Ream said.
Kat came at him, her cool finally breaking. Crisis snagged her around the waist as she kicked and shouted to let her go. He whispered something in her ear, and she settled down, but Ream was striding toward her and Crisis, and he was ready to pop a blood vessel.
“Not tonight, Ream. Let it the f*ck go.” Kite slapped Ream on the back, his hand digging into his shoulder, halting him.
“I swear, Kitkat, I’m going to—”
“Take a walk,” Logan suddenly thundered.
“You’ll regret it man, leave it alone.” Kite guided him down the porch steps, and I saw Ream plow his fist into the pillar at the bottom of the steps.
“What’s with them?” I whispered to Logan.
“I don’t know. But whatever it is, they need to work it out before they kill one another.”
Watching Ream walk across the yard with Kite, I knew whatever made Ream and Kat lash out at one another was big. I tried to recall Kat acting weird back when I’d come back from Mexico but I had been so self-absorbed after what happened that I may have missed it.
“So, barbecue. Steaks or burgers?” Crisis had let Kat go, but his hand was still in her back pocket. Kat was zoned out, eyes focused on one thing—Ream.
“You good with steaks?” Logan asked me.
“Well, I’m not really hungry—”
“You’re eating, and then you’re in my bed,” Logan said quietly.
My breath hitched. “Logan, I—”
He was keeping his voice low, so others wouldn’t hear. “Eme, we’ve slept together before.”
It was like a medicine ball was lodged in my throat. I tried again. “That was different.”
“Did you want to sleep with me?”
“What?”
“Answer me, Eme.”
“That isn’t fair.”
“I’m asking for the truth. Did you?”
“Well, I didn’t really have—”
“Eme.”
God. “Yes. But Logan, I need some time to digest this. It’s too fast, and—”
He pulled me to my feet and dragged me into the house, down a hallway then opened the door to the office. He slammed it behind us. “You had time.”
I backed away until I was up against a desk, my hands gripping the edge.
“But mainly, you’re lying.” He approached.
I knew that look; it was unbending. Determined. And I wasn’t afraid. Not for one second.
I took several deep breaths.
“I see it.” His voice was graveled and low.
What did he see? I raised my chin and locked my jaw.
“You want me.” He kept his distance a few feet away. “Stop denying it. I know who you are. I know what you need and what your body needs. There wasn’t a single time you weren’t turned on when we were together. Not once.”
“You’re wrong. Public sex wasn’t my thing.”
He took the final steps toward me. I couldn’t control it. Unleashed need blanketed me. He must have seen it, saw me wavering on the edge, the hook that was holding me back from trusting him slowly ripping from my skin.
“Let me love you.”
And then I did what I wanted to do since the day he walked back into my life. I crumpled into his arms, and Logan wrapped me in his warm protective embrace. “I loved you, Logan. You didn’t care what they did to me, and it was devastating. I know now why and that you had to, but sometimes ... I never want to feel that helpless again.”
Logan caressed my hair while his other hand linked with mine and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Whatever happens between us now, it’s because we both want it. No one—no one will ever make you feel helpless again. Baby, I love you. I never stopped, and regardless of how destitute you felt, you weren’t alone. You’ll never be helpless. You’re too strong.” His fingers stroked the side of my face. “You know what the first thing my mother taught me in that place? To take emotion out of the equation. That’s what always made me a good fighter. I never lost control.” He sighed. “I’ve hide my emotions for a long time. I’m good at it.”
“When I came back here for you, I needed you to see who I am, and yeah, I’ve lost it a few times like with your dance partner at the bar. But Mouse, I’m letting you see all of me so you can learn to trust me again. I need you to trust me again.”
I knew that whatever Logan said or did it was always about protecting me. He pushed his authority and liked control, but I trusted him. Sexually, I craved that escape he gave me. It set me free from decisions and as Logan would say, “Lego building”.
I sniffled and few tears fell. “I’m sorry. For what you and your mother have been through.”
He kissed the tears. “Baby.”
I knew that whatever Logan said or did it was to protect me.
Nothing more was said as he held me close. It felt right in his arms. He had done everything for me. That emotionless cage he locked himself in to hide his feelings from his father was to save me. He’d suffered too. We both did. And maybe my body had known all along that the Logan I hated was also the Logan I loved. Maybe my body knew that the man I feared wasn’t the real Logan.
“You good, Eme?”
I nodded into his chest, the feel of his muscles sliding across my cheek.
“You’re sleeping with me from now on.”
My fingers curled into his shirt. Then I nodded.
“You need something from me, tell me. We fight this shit together.”
A knock sounded on the door and Crisis yelled, “Hey you guys done makin’ out? F*ckin’ starving here.”
“Emily?”
“Okay.” It was a whisper of one word, and with it every Lego previously built up in my head crumbled to the ground at Logan’s feet.
I was letting him back in.
He caressed the side of my face, and I leaned into it, sighing. “Make a salad with Kat. We’ll do the steaks and potatoes on the barbecue. Okay?”
I nodded.
He took my hand and walked us out of the office.
When the boys yelled that the steaks were ready, Kat and I brought the salad and wine outside to the table on the deck which overlooked the pool. There was never lack of conversation as the men shared stories of the bars they’d performed in and then the excitement over acquiring their new manager Daryl.
“How long are you guys staying?” I asked, uncertain what Logan’s plans were.
“Not sure yet, sugar,” Crisis replied. “But I’m liking staying here if it means I get to check out two hot chicks every morning.” Crisis winked at me, but when he looked at Logan, he was backtracking. “From a distance. Like a mile. Maybe ten miles. F*ck, sorry sweet stuff, but not going to admire you at all. I’ll just admire Kat.”
Kite chuckled. “You can admire all the babes you want at the party.”
“F*ck yeah. Sweet asses aplenty.” Crisis wiggled his brows. “This horse needs some jumping.”
“You’re a pig,” Kat said laughing.
Crisis leaned over and put his arm around her, pulling her close. “How high can you jump, sugar?”
“She doesn’t jump. Kitkat plows right through.” Ream shoved back his chair, picked up his plate, and went inside. There was a loud bang and then crash. Then the front door slammed.
“Shit, Kat. You ever goin’ tell us what the f*ck went down between you two?” Kite sat back and stretched out his legs, crossing his ankles.
“No.” She pushed back her chair and crossed her legs. “And it doesn’t matter, I’m never touching that again.”
Crisis coughed bullshit under his breath, and Kat smacked his arm. He rubbed it and feigned a pout.
Logan stood up and brought me with him. He leaned over and whispered. “Help me with the dishes?”
“Yeah, sure.” I may have been missing from Logan’s life for two years, but I knew exactly what he was doing. Time alone.
Three trips with dishes to the kitchen, and then I was rinsing off the plates in the sink when Logan came up behind me and swept my hair aside with the lightest touch of his finger.
“Eme. Why are you doing that? We have a dishwasher.” He shut off the tap, took my hands and pulled me around to face him. Then he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me up onto the counter.
“Logan.”
He put his arm around my waist, the other to the nape of my neck. “F*ck, I love it when you say my name. I need to taste you again, baby.” He pulled me toward him. The heat of his mouth hit the spot just below my ear and goose bumps sparked across my skin. He trickled light kisses downward, his tongue playing, tasting.
“I like how you shake in my arms. It’s like your body can’t wait to be with mine.” His arm around my waist tightened. “It’s known. All this time, it’s known you belong to me.”
I closed my eyes, my head tilting back. Oh God. What he did to me ...
“Eme.”
I don’t know why, and I swear I wasn’t alone in this, but when a guy tucks your hair behind your ear, it’s ... well it’s the most erotic, attractive and panty melting move, and Logan did it all the time, so I melted—big time. Liquid heat was running through me, and I let it in.
I met his eyes and explosive desire hit me—hard. Logan’s head was tilted, eyes were burning with craving; his lips were slightly parted. Melted wasn’t good enough; I was boiling over.
He whispered my name again then claimed my lips; I was his. Not that I’d ever been anyone else’s. No, I’ve always been his.
His pressed into me, hard and warm, unrelenting as his mouth took mine in a slow need, an exploration of what we both craved. My arms wrapped around his neck, fingers curling into his hair, gripping, holding, never letting go as I pulled and tilted his head so I could get deeper.
His groan vibrated in my mouth, and my body shivered.
His hands gripped my ass. “Legs, Eme.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles. I never wanted to let go. Of him. Of Logan.
He trailed kisses down my neck, and I tilted my head back, eyes closed, sighing as his tongue flicked across my heated skin. The wetness between my thighs soaked my panties, and that intense twinge heightened.
“Logan,” I murmured.
He groaned against my throat, hand coming up between us to circle my nipple then lightly pinch.
I gasped.
“Christ, I missed you.” He continued to circle my nipple, then squeezed. “We’re not wasting any more time.” His other hand kept me in place holding the back of my head as he met my eyes.
I flexed my thighs, and I knew he felt it by how his hand tightened on the strands of my hair. I pictured him above me, my thighs around him as he slide inside me, the fullness, him driving into me hard then slow. Then I imagined Logan looking down at me before he comes, before I let go to join him.
“F*ckin’ hell, Sculpt.” Kite sauntered into the kitchen and threw his beer into the empty case on the floor.
I tried to unhook my legs, but Logan wouldn’t let me as he grabbed my thigh. He leaned into me and whispered, “Stay. Don’t move until I tell you.”
Kite opened the fridge and grabbed another beer. “Better get out there. Ream’s back and looks like he’s pounded back more than a few of something burning.”
“Shit,” Logan said. “Crisis?”
“Riling it up.” Kite opened his beer, and a hiss sounded.
“F*ck.” Logan let my legs go, put his hands on my hips and helped me off the counter. “I have to deal with this, Mouse.”
“Okay, I’ll finish up here.”
Logan snagged my hand. “No. You’re not staying here cleaning up. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
We went outside to the pool, Kite followed. Crisis, Kat, and Ream were there and it was heated. Gray slate cobblestones gleamed under the lights that surrounded the pool. The water glistened, and the moonlight reflected off the smooth surface.
“Back the f*ck off, Ream,” Crisis shouted. “What’s your problem?”
“You’re my problem, a*shole. Get your hands off her.” Ream’s eyes shot to Kat. “You gonna f*ck him too? Going to screw every f*ckin’ guy that looks at you? Ever thought of asking for money? You’d be rich by now.”
Kat’s face paled, and I suspected if Crisis didn’t have his arm around her waist, she would’ve collapsed. Her expression was so damaged—eyes wide with horror, mouth open with shock. “Are you offering to compensate me for services rendered?”
“F*ck,” Logan muttered. “Stay here.” He started to walk toward them.
Ream was in Crisis’s face, slurring his words. “F*ckin’ Crisis, Kat? Man whore? This isn’t going down. No f*ckin’ goddamn way.”
“Ream, you need to walk away man,” Kite said approaching.
“Ream.” Logan’s voice was more of a warning sound, and I recognized it well.
“You don’t own me, Ream. Remember. You think I’m a piece of shit, so it doesn’t matter what you think of me.” I was close enough to see Kat’s tears teetering in the rims of her eyes.
Ream’s face dropped, and he ran his hand twice over his shaved head. “Where’d you get that shit from? I never said that. I never f*ckin’ said that.”
“You look at me like I’m garbage. I might as well play the part.”
Logan’s body was tight, ready. Like he looked before a fight—controlled and calm but deadly. He chin-lifted to Kite then they walked up behind Crisis and Kat.
“Jesus Christ, I don’t think that. But you keep this up and I’m changing my mind. F*ckin’ hell, Kat, why are you doing this? The men. Jesus.”
Kat slipped from Crisis and backed up. “You wouldn’t even talk to me afterward.”
Ream ran his hand through his hair, and he staggered a step as he lost his balance. “Kitkat ... I couldn’t ... I couldn’t face—”
Kat erupted. “You couldn’t face it? Are you serious? I f*ckin’ face it! I knew it. I f*ckin’ knew this would happen. I never told anyone for this very goddamn reason.” She walked toward him, her hands balled into fists. “I still face it, Ream. Me.” Kat shoved him in the chest, and he staggered back a step. “You have no right telling me who I can be with. None.” She slammed both palms into him again.
“Oh shit,” Logan swore as Ream lost his balance and went back several feet then slipped over the edge into the pool.
Crisis roared with laughter.
It took several seconds before he came sputtering to the surface. Crisis was still laughing while Kat frowned, her gaze focused on Ream as he swam to the side and pulled himself out.
His jeans and T-shirt clung to his body like a second skin, and when I looked at Kat, she was staring at Ream like ... she was in love with him.
Crisis was bowled over, clutching his stomach laughing.
But it was the look in Ream’s eyes that had me worried for Kat. Logan got that look, a twinkle in his eyes that I knew meant mischief. Ream shook his head and droplets of water dispersed like a dog shaking after his bath. He looked nonchalant, casual, and that was dangerous.
“Kat—” I was too late. The moment I said her name, Ream dove for her. His head was down as his arms wrapped around her waist and heaved her over his shoulder. She squelched and kicked and struggled.
“Ream! Let me—” He jumped. Kat’s scream was cut off as they disappeared beneath the surface of the water.
Logan looked at Kite. “We need to step on this shit.”
Kite smacked Crisis in the arm. “You’re no f*ckin’ help, a*shole.”
“Me? He needs to wake the f*ck up. I’m helping him.” Crisis’s held up his hands, feigning innocence although his lips were twitching. What a shit disturber.
I bit my lip. Logan scoffed.
Ream and Kat came up from the beneath the surface of the water and Ream had his arm hooked around her waist, helping her to the side of the pool.
Logan met my eyes and I recognized the spark, knew it, felt it, and I remembered. I remembered when I’d first fallen in love with Logan.
He approached, a slow, casual stride. I stepped back one foot after the other. His eyes slid down me then back up again. Then, God that smile.
“Logan.” I held up my hand as I continued backward.
His brows rose to match his grin.
“Logan, no.”
“Yes, Emily.”
I turned and ran, but he was on me in two strides, looping his arm around my waist and carrying me kicking and screaming to the edge of the pool.
“Logan! Logan, don’t you dare.” I pounded my fists into his back. “No. Please.”
“Are you staying in my bed?”
“No, don’t. I mean yes.”
“I’m not understanding your answer. Maybe a little cold water will help.”
“Noooo.”
He leapt high into the air. I screamed.
I felt the cold water descend over my body, then my head as we went under. Logan’s hands were on me, holding me against him as we hit the bottom and he crouched and pushed off.
The moment I could suck in air, I struggled to dislodge his hands so I could swim to the edge of the pool. Logan was laughing so hard that he couldn’t hold onto me as I kicked out and hit him in the stomach.
“Bastard,” I yelled. I was trying my hardest to hold in my laughter and act all pissy, but when he caught me at the side of the pool and dragged me into him, I felt his lips on the back of my neck then the touch of his hands under my shirt, his skin against mine. He was caressing my abdomen then up across my ribs and ...
“Water clear it up for you any?” He nibbled the lobe of my ear. “I’m not asking for sex. But you’re in my bed.”
Resisting Logan was like stopping a freight train with my hands. “Okay.”
I saw Ream reach for Kat as she climbed out of the pool, snagging her hand. She paused, turned her head and all I saw the unquestionable rawness of hostility.
Ream said quietly, “Why, Kat?”
Kat never said anything, merely pulling away and walked back up to the house. Then Crisis and Kite cannonballed into the water.