The Stand

And he left her with this bizarre statement which meant nothing to her, left her standing cold and afraid and disoriented in her bare feet and babydoll nightie. It was as if he had gone mad. What did testing the wind have to do with whether or not she had time to pack? And where was far away? Reno? Vegas? Salt Lake City? And...

She put her hand against her throat as a new idea struck her.

AWOL. Leaving in the middle of the night meant Charlie was planning to go AWOL.

She went into the small room which served as Baby LaVon's nursery and stood for a moment, indecisive, looking at the sleeping infant in her pink blanket suit. She held to the faint hope that this might be no more than an extraordinarily vivid dream. It would pass, she would wake up at seven in the morning just like usual, feed Baby LaVon and herself while she watched the first hour of the "Today" show, and be cooking Charlie's eggs when he came off-shift at 8 A.M., his nightly tour in the Reservation's north tower over for another night. And in two weeks he would be back on days and not so cranky and if he was sleeping with her at night she wouldn't have crazy dreams like this one and -

"Hurry it up!" he hissed at her, breaking her faint hope. "We got just time to throw a few things together... but for Christ's sake, woman, if you love her" - he pointed at the crib - "you get her dressed!" He coughed nervously into his hand and began to yank things out of their bureau drawers and pile them helter-skelter into a couple of old suitcases.

She woke up Baby LaVon, soothing the little one as best she could; the three-year-old was cranky and bewildered at being awakened in the middle of the night, and she began to cry as Sally got her into underpants, a blouse, and a romper. The sound of the child's crying made her more afraid than ever. She associated it with the other times Baby LaVon, usually the most angelic of babies, had cried in the night: diaper rash, teething, croup, colic. Fear slowly changed to anger as she saw Charlie almost run past the door with a double handful of her own underwear. Bra straps trailed out behind him like the streamers from New Year's Eve noise-makers. He flung them into one of the suitcases and slammed it shut. The hem of her best slip hung out, and she just bet it was torn.

"What is it?" she cried, and the distraught tone of her voice caused Baby LaVon to burst into fresh tears just as she was winding down to sniffles. "Have you gone crazy? They'll send soldiers after us, Charlie! Soldiers!"

"Not tonight they won't," he said, and there was some thing so sure in his voice that it was horrible. "Point is, sugar-babe, if we don't get our asses in gear, we ain't never gonna make it off'n the base. I don't even know how in hell I got out of the tower. Malfunction somewhere, I guess. Why not? Everything else sure-God malfunctioned." And he uttered a high, loonlike laugh that frightened her more than anything else had done. "The baby dressed? Good. Put some of her clothes in that other suitcase. Use the blue tote-bag in the closet for the rest. Then we're going to get the hell out. I think we're all right. Wind's blowing east to west. Thank God for that."

He coughed into his hand again.

"Daddy!" Baby LaVon demanded, holding her arms up. "Want Daddy! Sure! Horsey-ride, Daddy! Horsey-ride! Sure!"

"Not now," Charlie said, and disappeared into the kitchen. A moment later, Sally heard the rattle of crockery. He was getting her pin-money out of the blue soup-dish on the top shelf. Some thirty or forty dollars she had put away - a dollar, sometimes fifty cents, at a time. Her house money. It was real, then. Whatever it was, it was really real.

Baby LaVon, denied her horsey-ride by her daddy, who rarely if ever denied her anything, began to weep again. Sally struggled to get her into her light jacket and then threw most of her clothes into the tote, cramming them in helter-skelter. The idea of putting anything else into the other suitcase was ridiculous. It would burst. She had to kneel on it to snap the catches. She found herself thanking God Baby LaVon was trained, and there was no need to bother with diapers.

Charlie came back into the bedroom, and now he was running. He was still stuffing the crumpled ones and fives from the soup-dish into the front pocket of his suntans. Sally scooped Baby LaVon up. She was fully awake now and could walk perfectly well, but Sally wanted her in her arms. She bent and snagged the tote-bag.

"Where we going, Daddy?" Baby LaVon asked. "I was aseepin."

"Baby can be aseepin in the car," Charlie said, grabbing the two suitcases. The hem of Sally's slip flapped. His eyes still had that white, starey look. An idea, a growing certainty, began to dawn in Sally's mind.

"Was there an accident?" she whispered. "Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph, there was, wasn't there? An accident. Out there."

"I was playing solitaire," he said. "I looked up and saw the clock had gone from green to red. I turned on the monitor. Sally, they're all - "

He paused, looked at Baby LaVon's eyes, wide and, although still rimmed with tears, curious.

"They're all D-E-A-D down there," he said. "All but one or two, and they're probably gone now."

"What's D-E-D, Daddy?" Baby LaVon asked.