And I do. Straight to his lips. And get another long, slow, delicious kiss.
“Better?”
“Much better.”
Kissed so many boys.
4am.
Katie is asleep and snoring lightly. I can’t sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I keep reliving my kisses with Aiden.
I’m usually not this kind of girl. The kind of girl to think she’s in love with someone the second she meets them.
Yes, I know I say that I fell in love at first sight with Brooklyn but, the truth is, I was barely fifteen and didn’t know any better. What I had was a huge crush on him. The crush turned to love somewhere in the two years that we were friends. For someone that had traveled the world, my world got very small when I went to high school. Brooklyn always reminded me that there was more to life than the perfect outfit. He and Damian have always been very positive influences in my life.
And I know I told Cush that I loved him at my party. But he bought me boots! The. Perfect. Boots. And I maybe got a little caught up in the moment. Cush is sexy and sweet and it’s easy to let yourself get caught up in moments with him. I should know. I lost my virginity to him in one of those moments. And I miss him. I do.
But.
Aiden.
Aiden is nothing like Brooklyn. Nothing like Cush.
I don’t even really know him.
Yet I feel like I’ve known him forever.
Part of me—probably the part of me that likes to cry at cheesy romance movies—hopes it’s true. Hopes it was love at first sight. That something so amazing could really happen to me.
Then there’s the other part of me. The cynic. She thinks that I must be having some sort of emotional crisis from almost getting kidnapped and that’s what is causing me to think irrationally about him.
I mean, I have to be a little bit scarred from all this, don’t I?
But then there’s the part of me that wants to bolt open my window and sing love songs with the birds chirping outside.
But I also feel like I’m in mourning. Mourning that I ended things with B and that I confused the issue even more by sleeping with him before I left. There’s part of me that’s mourning what could have been with Cush. And there’s another part of me in mourning because I miss my family. Because I don’t know when I’ll get to see them again. About how I’m here all alone.
But.
Aiden.
No matter what my brain is telling me, my heart knows.
I decide to text Mom, hoping she’s still awake.
Me: How did you get Tom to fall in love with you? You said you knew instantly. Did he?
Mom: He knew it too. I could feel it.
Me: How do I make the God of all Hotties fall in love with me?
Mom: Isn’t it a little fast? It’s been a day.
Me: Yes, it’s too fast. But I cannot help it. I am in LOVE with this boy. And all he will do is kiss me! And I’m talking a NO TONGUE KISS!!! Other boys make out with me, why won’t he?
Mom: Other boys?! Just how many boys have you kissed?
Me: Uh, like three.
Mom: !!!!!!!!! You don’t want to get a bad reputation your first week! Why have you kissed so many boys? Did you get drunk? What kind of place did we send you to?
Me: Calm down. And no. I kissed this boy, Dallas, the first night. It was like fun, and he’s sweet, but it’s like a friend thing, a chill thing. Then the god kissed me on the cheek and gave me a four-leaf clover and it WORKED! I made Varsity soccer AND the dance team! Oh and this gorgeous guy kissed me too, but he was drunk and it was gross, so it really doesn’t count. So two, technically.
Mom: Dance team? Really? I’m so proud of you!
Me: I got to dance on stage tonight, Mom. I loved it. Loved being up there. Back to the hottie.
Mom: You belong on a stage. You always have. And the god sounds sweet.
Me: But that’s just it. He IS sweet. And he’s supposed to be a player. He had 8 gfs last year. He gets kinda flustered when he’s around me. Players don’t get flustered, do they? And the things he does to me!
Mom: Wait, I thought you said he wasn’t doing anything to you.
Me: I mean like I can barely breathe when he’s around. When he touches me, I feel like I’m getting shocked. And tonight, I was at this party and he took me to this empty dorm room. And he DIDN’T attack me! He just gave me these slow, amazing, tender and TONGUELESS kisses. He looked deep into my eyes and, I swear to God, he looked into my soul.
Mom: Wait. What time is it there? And what were you doing at a party? It’s your second night!
Me: Can we PLEASE stick to what is important here? HOW DO I MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?
Mom: Maybe he already is.
Me: No! He’s not. He was a total gentleman. He doesn’t want me. Should I like sneak over to his room and just attack him?
Mom: Sex is not going to make him fall in love with you. It sounds like he likes you.
Me: OMG!!!!??? You think??!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: Yeah. Go to bed! And make good decisions please. And call Garrett tomorrow when you’re free. He wants to talk to you.