CHAPTER 20
It had been four days since we had brought Reese home. I was getting around a little bit better. Tristan and I were getting dressed for the memorial service at the cemetery in DeKalb County. I had contacted a Catholic priest at St. Michael’s to bless the tiny grave and read from scripture.
We had visited Tylar yesterday afternoon as she convalesced at home. It had totally unnerved me. I had expected tears and anguish; I had not been prepared for Tylar’s impassive and stoic demeanor. I had cried and hugged her trying to offer my sympathy. She had ended up consoling me. I didn’t get it. I had said something to Tristan on our way home. He said that some people grieve differently than others. I did think Tylar was bothering to grieve at all.
We arrived at the cemetery for the family only memorial service. Trey had his arm around Tylar who still had the statuesque fa?ade going. I was sure that was what it was. She was afraid to feel the pain. I had been that way for a while after my miscarriage. I had simply fled the scene and hooked up with Ian. He had been fun-loving, sexy and care-free. He had been my coping mechanism to forget the hell from which I had just escaped.
I did a double take and swore under my breath when I saw Amber pull up in her little BMW and get out. Tristan had heard me and gave me a gentle nudge. I looked up at him holding Reese close to his chest. He shook his head as if to say, ‘leave it alone, Gina.’ I certainly did not plan on making a scene, but what the fuck was she doing here? I finally saw some reaction out of Tylar. She whispered something to Trey; it was apparent she wasn’t happy about it, either.
Amber sauntered up to the gravesite and the priest began his readings. She was all decked out like she was going to some type of diplomatic soiree. I watched her from beneath my lashes as everyone bowed their heads to pray. She followed suit as if she really cared. This was just something for her to crash. She was all about getting the attention - especially Trey’s.
The service concluded in less than ten minutes. The priest went over and consoled both Trey and Tylar; others then followed suit going up to them as they stood before the tiny casket to give them a hug or a kiss, or take their hand and offer their sympathies. I watched as Amber went first to Trey. She didn’t linger there as she was looking for Tylar who had gone to look at some of the flower arrangements that had been sent to the gravesite.
I took Reese from Tristan so that he could go over and talk to Trey. I watched as Amber went over to Tylar and gave her a hug. She said something to her and then Tylar conversed back. There was something in Tylar’s expression that had changed once Amber walked away and headed toward her car. It was actually the first bit of emotion I had seen cross her features since the day she was with me at the hospital.
I walked over to where she was standing, watching Amber as she started her car and drove off.
“What did she say to you?” I asked.
“Nothing important. Let me see Reese, Gina.”
It had been more than a month since I had seen or talked to Tylar. I had called her house phone and her cell phone several times. Jean took my messages. I never got a call back. At first I understood; she was coming to terms with her loss. That took some time. Then I made excuses for her. I had figured it was difficult for her to see a newborn baby. That would take some time. It was nearly five weeks now. As far as I was concerned, there was no excuse for her continued avoidance of me.
I had grumbled about it to Tristan several times. He had told me to just keep trying; it was important to let her know that the lines of communication were open. Frankly, I was fucking sick to death of always having to be the one to initiate stuff with her.
I had been nursing Reese with just a little bit of difficulty. Tylar had made it look so freaking easy. My nipples had felt like they were on fire that first week after my milk had come in. I was moaning and bitching about it to Tristan. The next afternoon a freaking lactation consultant was at our door.
She had spent an hour and a half with us training me how to get the proper latch; the various holds, cradle, cross-cradle, football and the most important lesson of all: detachment.
(Oh, so you don’t just pull the baby away from the breast, still attached until the nipple finally snaps back against you? I get it!)
How had Tylar known all of that as a first-time mother? I don’t recall Trey having had to enlist the services of a lactation consultant for her! That was Tylar though; that is how she rolled.
I loved the bond and the connection that I got with nursing him, but I didn’t have any reservations whatsoever about pumping and letting Tristan handle it for an afternoon if I wanted to get my nails done or go shopping. I didn’t feel a damn bit guilty about it, either.
The only other downside was the mustard seed poop. I mean that part I knew about because of Preston, but damn, having to deal with three to four of those a day was a little taxing. Usually Tristan was good for one or two of them. It didn’t seem to bother him one bit.
I had just gotten Reese bathed and dressed when the doorman buzzed. He said that Tylar was in the lobby.
(Really?)
I told him to send her up. I was curious as to what would have brought Tylar clear into the city without even calling first. I didn’t mind. Maybe she had been downtown for some reason and decided to stop by. I knew that wasn’t the case when I opened the door for her.
(Christ, she looked like hell. Skinny and fragile.)
The first thing she did as to ask me if she could use my freaking phone. I started giving her some shit then it dawned on me that something was wrong; she was freaked out. I told her to go ahead.
I was nursing Reese and hung around close enough so that I could eavesdrop on her conversation. She called her father. She was crying. She spilled her guts to him. Damn Trey! Damn that bitch Amber. What the hell was Trey thinking making out with the bitch like that? I knew Tristan would be mad as hell when he found out.
I could tell that Tylar was winding up her conversation with her dad. They were making arrangements. I went and put Reese in his cradle, kissing his soft cheek.
“Baby, please take a little nap for Mommy, okay? I really need to talk to my BFF.” He gurgled and smiled up at me, kicking his little legs. God he was so freaking cute.
When I went back into the living room I tried to calm Tylar down and get her to talk to me. She was tied up in knots. I apologized for not being there for her; she wouldn’t let me accept any blame. She simply stated that this was her problem and she would handle it. It was plain to see that she was still in denial over the loss of the baby and the need to deal with it. When I said as much, she got extremely agitated. I needed to let it go for now.
She had made plans to go to Baton Rouge and spend some time with her father. Frankly, I thought it was probably the best thing she could do for herself at the moment. She had to distance herself from the pain; right now that pain was Trey. I just hoped she didn’t stay away forever. Maybe a father was the best medicine for Tylar right now. She had been denied all of that growing up; she needed to know what it felt like to have a father’s love.
I gave her some wine to calm her down and forced her to eat something because she obviously needed to put some meat on her bones. I told her she was welcomed to stay here for the night. I got pillows and a blanket for her so that she could make a bed on the couch. She didn’t want to sleep in the spare bed in the nursery.
She passed out fairly early on the couch. She had to be exhausted. I stayed up to make Tristan a sandwich when he got home. I hurried over to the front door when I heard his key and motioned for him to be quiet until we got into the kitchen. I placed his sandwich on the table with a tall glass of iced tea.
I explained to him what had happened. As predicted, he was freaking livid. I had to keep shushing him so that he wouldn’t wake Tylar. I finally advised him to just stay out of it; I felt that those two needed to work it out for themselves.
Tristan and I showered together, and then I brought Reese into bed with us to nurse. Right towards the end I heard him grunting and he stiffened as he filled his diaper.
“Oh God,” I whined.
“I’ll get the diaper Gina,” Tristan said with a laugh. “It’s not that bad.”
Tristan changed him and then walked him around a little bit getting a couple of hearty burps out of him. He placed him back in his cradle and Reese gurgled and cooed happily until he fell asleep.
“Hey Tristan,” I said, getting a bit smug. “Guess what came in the mail today?”
“I haven’t a clue,” he replied, pulling a tee shirt on over his damp mass of hair.
I leaned over and took the envelope from my nightstand handing it to him.
“Read it,” I instructed with a grin.
He took the envelope and removed the one page letter inside. It was the results of the DNA testing that was conducted after Reese had been born. Tristan got a sheepish grin on his face as he looked up from the letter to me.
“99.979%, huh?”
“Yep. It doesn’t get much closer than that I would guess.”
“You know this wasn’t necessary, right Gina?”
“Oh ho, but it was. Remember my promise to you about what I intended to do with the results? Bend over, big boy.”
Tristan tossed the paper onto his night stand and scooped me up into his arms, nuzzling and tickling me.”
“You have to pin me first, Gina,” he teased, his lips finding mine. We kissed tenderly, then passionately. His tongue traced my lower lip as his green eyes bore into mine. I never tired of looking at him.
“I love you Tristan James Sinclair,” I said softly, brushing my fingers across his handsome face. It had become so easy for me to say that now. I wanted to say it over and over again.
“I love you Gina Marie Valenti,” he replied, nuzzling me. Tristan had taken to calling me by my maiden name. He said he would continue to do that until I was officially a Sinclair.
Tristan and I got under the covers; his hands were on me in an instant. I hadn’t been cleared yet to resume penetrative sex, but Tristan and I been extremely creative with oral sex of late. We were both becoming quite limber again with the various oral positions we had created over the past couple of weeks. Afterwards, we cuddled in each other’s arms. Life was good.